Saturday, November 5, 2011

More Discussions Regarding The Five Hundred Pound Peep Blog

Weird I just admitted I lived in a mouse infested apt in the ghetto in my past, and supposedly I am "priviledged" LOL Priviledged, well, perhaps in some ways, given I had access to a college education and there's running water and a little food in the fridge but one isn't living the high economic life at 500lbs and disabled, you won't see me drive by in a limo sneering at you anytime soon. I promise.

 My religious views I suppose are self evident.  What does she consider ridiculous? Perhaps what I exposed about MSG? Well I know not all my views are mainstream.  She is right I did get banned over and over. The summation is interesting "because she talks about the realities of her experiences at 500lbs and some health problems that are related to being fat."

Yes, that is what this blog is about. Except for one lady who blogs and is at 400lbs, I have never seen any other blog like this. Someone should be out there sharing the reality. Why not me? If anyone near my size sees this blog by the way, I would be interested in some guest posters, who are in my size range.
Then the discussion gets more interesting, the other poster seems to understand where I am coming from to a degree.

See here

"I actually haven’t come across her viewpoint before, and I’m glad that I did. Fat acceptance certainly hinges on the all-inclusive acceptance of all fats at all weights, whether that’s 250lbs or 500lbs. And we don’t want to draw a line to say okay, up till here fat is acceptable because that’s the line we are already fighting against. It’s just that society in general puts that line at a much lower weight. We don’t want to say that 500lbs isn’t acceptable, because we want fatties of any weight to be able to love themselves and accept themselves; but, perhaps, also because the acceptance of fat people of all sizes depends on a few beliefs we want to be the unshakable core of FA. Most importantly, the belief that fat is not inherently unhealthy and that you can’t tell if someone is unhealthy by looking at them. We don’t want ourselves to be judged that way, and we don’t want to judge others that way. It’s one of the core beliefs of FA."

There's is the problem. Seperate people from the weight and the moral judgements put on high. Even if one is fat and sick from it, doesn't mean we have to turn around to the extreme of the other side and try to pass off 500lbs + as a happy condition anyone would want to be in. Where have I said I am against the acceptance of people? I think even the fattest person should be treated with dignity and respect. With the greatest weights, the health effects are undeniable once a certain bar is passed. I am realistic to know there are a few 500lbers who avoid even disability, most who are young, but health problems are a given at the long term at this weight and higher. 

"And what this 500lbs woman seems to be saying is when you look at someone who’s 500lbs you CAN tell they are unhealthy and that’s something we don’t want to hear. Because we don’t want to draw the line for fat acceptance."
Hey I know this is true, Fat acceptance considers someone like me a danger, a negative view to all the fat promotion. As I have written about the two sided coin, it is possible to realize adipose tissue is not the zenith of one's being,  going along with my "The Body is Not Everything" post. If a movement is centered around people having to suspend reality, a person at 500lbs not facing health problems, then that is a problem and bound to enforce it's fringe status pernamently.

."You break down the “fat != unhealthy” paradigm, fat acceptance seems to start falling apart at the seams. You start talking about how you want to lose weight because being so heavy makes you unhappy, you actually run into a wall of FA people telling you that no, dieting is bad, and it doesn’t work, and you should accept your fat. Most FA blogs outright ban comments about dieting and weight loss, so where is your place in FA if you’re 500lbs, unhappy, unhealthy, disabled because of your weight, and all the fat activist tell you you shouldn’t try to set weight loss as a goal?"
Yes, that is a problem, it does start to fall apart at the seams. Where have I said I love dieting on this blog? As I have written, I would love people to step outside the either-or paradigm...Diet industry or Fat promotion. Both are non-choice, we know diets do not work. I have failed obviously in my weight loss efforts except in managing only a moderation of my problems--getting down from the 700s originally and very slow health related and other weight losses adding up to the 75lbs that has come off over the last 5 years. This blog is full of criticism for the diet industrial complex. But on that side, why should I accept fat promotion as my only other option? How about pushing for things that work? Why can't fat people just tell the truth about their experiences instead of sticking to some odd ideological code, where banning, censorship and more from the world of fatdom is the response?

"This stuff just isn’t simple. I have friends who simultaneously support FA but still want and/or try to lose weight, and sometimes that’s very frustrating (to hear about their weight loss and calories etc) but I do support them in autonomous choices for their body. If anything, I think their knowledge and support of FA will at least help them avoid pitfalls of weight loss such as falling back into patterns of body hatred. I hope so, anyway."
Yes that is true, I saw many in FA who did lose weight. Some had to for health reasons.

"What this woman is saying conflicts with some of the pillars of fat acceptance, notably fat is not an indicator of health and weight loss is always bad. We don’t like that. Our beliefs, our acceptance, is hard-fought, and we constantly have to defend these pillars."
 It's a pillar, that should be questioned.

Why the insistence on such extreme pillars?

The fat is not an indicator of health thing, well I never could get on board for that, and remember I accept that there are robust mid-sized people but things are different when fat crosses a certain line or when weight gain is even the outcome of serious endocrine disease.

When someone who we think is ‘on our side’ turns around and says 500lbs is in no way healthy or acceptable and weight loss is a viable option for me it makes us uncomfortable.
Why should this be? If this poster sees this response, I hope she can answer some of my questions. Why not just face the uncomfortableness but stay honest? Who would want to be 500lbs? Think about that one, just even the sheer mobility problems for most. Why not speak truth, while still holding care, concern and respect for the fat?

 "We don’t want to draw the line. We don’t want to stop fat acceptance above a certain weight. We don’t want to say that at some point fat is an indicator of health because doing so implicates all of us, it casts seeds of doubt where we already have to struggle for acceptance, it makes it even harder for us to stand up for ourselves."

I have noticed this. As I have written, SOME smaller sized people in size acceptance really do see those who get into the outer fringes of fatdom as a danger. Perhaps there is a thought, 'that could be me one day". Don't forget I lived in the world of the mid-sized til around age 27. Now what happened to me isn't going to happen to everyone, there will be people who stay midsized and with their weights stable. But this stubborness about rejecting the experiences of the severely overweight so people do not feel uncomfortable, is a bad idea. It disenfranchises everyone who does cross that line and knows the ideology is NOT standing up. 

"So we exclude this woman. Because she weighs 500lbs, and we don’t want to hear that that is in every way unhealthy and that weight loss *is* a solution to her. Because hearing and acknowledging that unsettles our core beliefs."

I am very glad this poster admits my exclusion. For her to be that honest, is worthy of respect. So I want to Thank her and hope she sees this. I know my experience unsettles people, but one thing, there are more people entering where I am at, I am seeing more and more people near my size then ever before. Some are not quite there, up in the 400s, but they are definitely over 400lbs. I went thrift shopping today and saw at least 5 individuals who passed the 425lb mark. This may be something fat acceptance may have to face and deal with. Today I may be a rarity but what about tommorow?

"What to do? I don’t know. We keep talking about being inclusive, but we generally don’t want to be a space that accommodates people who hate their fat and want to lose weight. Maybe fat acceptance isn’t the place for her. But it doesn’t seem right to me".
What about a space that accomodates fat people and has respect for them, where no love for fat [an inanimate object] is demanded?

She is right that fat acceptance isn't the place for me. I have been banned and ostracized to the point I know, I am a definite outsider, even if I share in questioning and cricizing the diet industry and standing up against fat discrimination and hatred. I am very thankful that she admits that something doesn't seem right to her about it all.

Yeah there is something wrong about it all.


  1. I don't remember how I got to your blog - must have been some time ago when I didn't have time to read, but it looked interesting and I bookmarked it.

    So, what you're talking about here, I've noticed as well. Not because I'm at the same weight as you, but because of several factors.

    Reading FA blogs/pages, I see "You can be happy & healthy at any size" over and over again. And it always sounded illogical to me. I accept that there is a huge range from what doctors call "underweight" to what they call "morbidly obese" in which people can be healthy and happy. Happy anyway, because who am I to define how they feel? And healthy . . . well, there's the problem. There are people who have health problems related to them being too thin - and likewise, there are people who have health problems related to weighing too much. Anything else is just not logical. I agree with you that there is a line where being fat becomes unhealthy - a line that is different for each person, but it exists, and I see no use in denying it for the benefit of a certain ideology. I'm hard pressed to understand how people can simply choose to ignore that.

    Of course, what I do agree with is that a person’s weight is their own business and they deserve respect at whatever size they are, but also, I think what people in FA who propagate this are forgetting is that people who are uncomfortable with their own weight deserve the same respect as people who have no problems with their weight. Not everybody who wants to lose weight is falling for society’s damaging beauty ideal. The issues are much more complex. Acceptance should be not only for people who want to stay just as they are. It should also be for those who are not happy with their bodies and want to change something about them. I'd not be welcome to say it on other blogs, and it annoys and hurts me.

  2. Continued from the above comment:

    I'm 260lbs, so actually rather "small" in comparison to some others, and I know I'd easily get the "What do you want, you're on the low end of being fat!" response. The thing is, I know I'm not predispositioned to being slim, ever. I gain easily, and even when I was at my slimmest in the last ~16 years, I was considered "overweight".


    I've got an eating disorder. I binge-eat massively. I eat things I don't even really like, things I don't want to eat at that time, or even at all (since I'm vegan when I don't binge). I eat huge amounts until I feel sick and want to throw up (but luckily never had to so far). I don't want to do it, but I still do, and it makes me hate myself and my body. And yes, I'm still very pretty, and yes, luckily, I'm still mostly physically healthy. But I'm not mentally healthy, and I don't want this anymore. The main thing I want is to best the disorder, and if that happened and I'd stay at this weight, fine. I could accept that and me like that, because I'd no longer be harming myself. But I know from past experience that once I stop binging, I'll lose weight, and then I'll not be welcome anymore in FA – at least that is how it seems to me. I've read a lot about individual weight and intuitive eating in FA materials, but the thing is: when I do that, I'm out, because it means losing weight. In essence, I'd not be welcome because I finally managed to get mentally healthy. That hurts, and it is completely absurd.

    Weight is such a complex subject, and it's not enough or true to say any size is healthy, period. And the policy that is in effect right now is excluding people of your size who live a reality that we smaller people can't imagine, and people like me who seem only acceptable if they stay sick. And that can't be it. That can't be the goal.

    I'm sorry I went off on a tangent like this, but there’s hardly anywhere I could say this. Basically, what I want to say is: I agree with you, and now I'll read my way through your other posts. I hope you don't mind more (maybe a little shorter ;) comments.

  3. HI welcome to the blog. Do not worry I understand life in the mid 200s, that is where I spent literal YEARS before I had my massive weight gain. I am not saying everyone is going to go that route, endocrine problems and constant use of steroids and prednisone for my breathing problems did massive damage as well as other traumas. I know what its like to be at that size and even because I was tall told well if lonly you lost 80lbs then youd be near perfect! At the time I remember walking constantly and always being short on groceries due to being poor and active jobs, and I was STILL FAT no matter what I did.

    Sorry to hear in your case you have a binge eating disorder. I do accept for some fat people there are psychological and other disorders while for some it is a matter of metabolism. I hope with time you can get help with this and perhaps in your case, you could get down to a more manageable weight. Even if you would become a thin person as a result of treatment, don't worry about what FA thinks. You are the one who has to stay alive for you. With me I was so far gone, their opinion didn't matter in the way, I JUST WANT TO STAY ALIVE.

    I consider intuitive eating nonsense. Hope I don't get any mad here, maybe it works if you live on a farm and are eating nothing but wholesome food between bouts of intense physical labor, but our food corporations are pouring chemicals into the food for addiction purposes. If I ate everything, Id be 1000lbs, even when I got down from the 700lbs, I had to learn to time snacks and mroe. I do eat the majority of time when physically hungry but I cannot recreationally snack like a lot of thin people can get away with.

    I think you should put your own mental and physical health first.

    That is what I do and wherever the chips may fall, let them fall. LOL doing this blog, I know I've taken a lot of heat, but one thing I think of, most people expected me to be dead a long time ago. NOt very many live at huge weights as long as I have.

    I want to thank you too for admitting that policy in affect right now in FA excludes people of my size, and you are right this is demanded by those who have no idea what it means to live in a body this size. I am going to talk about mobility issues today, that will shed more light. But they simply do not know. They are large yes, but they are small enough they still can live in "normal land". They cannot even conceive. I was at those midsized weights, and I could do what I wanted. I used to WALK FOR FUN, as recently as 1994-1995, and that would be 2-3 mile walks that now would be an extreme pipedream. Actually this is the one thing I miss the MOST.

    I believe that "fat" is put above PEOPLE in size acceptance. It should be FAT PEOPLE acceptance, NOT FAT ACCEPTANCE.

    Get what I mean by the difference there?

    Hope you enjoy my other posts, thanks for your response too :)

  4. Someone is always going to call you out no matter what. I didn't start my blog to begin a years long pity party between me and the reader about how horrible it is to be raised in proximity of a homicidal maniac. You can watch court TV and connect those dots any way you please. Like you, I thought someone might want to hear the story behind the story. The things that don't make it to the news. How there are people that are so crazy they defy conventional description and the damage they do lasts forever. But I still get some person over there telling me to heal and/or move on. There are issues you can't out run. You deal with them one day at a time. If I had asked to have the parents I was stuck with telling me to get a stiff upper lip might be good advice. But I had as much to do with my station in life as I can control which way the wind blows. So don't let them get you down. You are the one walking in your shoes. If they are so wise and have all the answers it takes very little time to start a blog of your own and they can spew all the bile they want.

  5. Thanks. I know doing blogs like this, we can have many naysayers. I have to leave off many fat-hating comments, even one who told me he'd tip my scooter over. Just nasty. I think it is good you are warning people, there are others out there like you, who have dealt with these things. It is good some are telling the story behind the story. Yes I have gotten acouple saying "MOVE ON". This is one thing they tell ACONS dismissing their viewpoints and trying to silence them. I agree about dealing with them one day at a time. I tell people my abuse just ended when I went NC. They tell people we control everything when we do not. Some things are the result of good and bad decisions, but even there a lot of decisions are made with the knowledge at the time, a lot of things happen out of our control. I agree about people walking in our shoes for once. I don't think a lot of people would have even survived my life, maybe not yours either. Thanks so much Q