Friday, July 15, 2016
Confusing the Kids: Gender Fluid
I noticed another young person on Facebook saying they are Gender Fluid. I am not going to give any more details about their identity outside her age but this is now the second or third young person, saying that their gender is not what it should be that I have seen among "friends" and acquaintances on Facebook. In this case they are around 16 years old. Seeing the chart above, so wonder the kids are getting confused.
In this case, they have written being a girl is just their assigned sex that many days they feel more like a boy and some days they don't and others day they feel like they do not have a gender and rarely feel like a girl. They said they would rather be seen as a boy most of the time and be referred to as the politically correct "They". I noticed their family bending over backwards to be politically correct. I decided to stay quiet, knowing my words would not be heard, but this definitely got to me.
This is someone I suspect highly has a very narcissistic mother. Their mother's page is full of selfies. She has a high power corporate job and is extremely competitive. I noticed a couple years ago, she was doing things like cutting her beautiful daughter's hair very short and dressing her in plain drab clothing especially after she became a pre-teen. Even seeing one of my nieces who is very pretty bought old lady glasses and dressed in dark grey sweats, made me think about how narcissistic mothers who are jealous of the youth and beauty of their daughters will do anything to destroy it or dissuade it. This seems to happen more often post-puberty.
Seeing this latest claim of being "gender fluid" or "gender neutral" or transexual triggered me and brought me back some memories. One thing I have realized is I was denied my feminine sexuality by my narcissistic parents. I wrote about how I was treated as a boy and not really a girl when I was young in this article "Not Allowed to be a Girl". Today I realize my not dating in high school or even in college, went far beyond just being Aspie and overweight but was a core part of my abuse.
I believe narcissistic mothers will destroy the blooming sexuality of young daughters, and this happened to me. In my case, severe PCOS which brought higher testosterone and other problems did make me more masculine looking. The obesity also came in too. I was told endlessly by my family and family friends, I was not pretty and petite like how a girl should be and that I looked more like a boy. I was dressed in mannish clothing and I remember the endless times I'd cry as my mother had my long hair cut off into short boyish haircuts just like this poor girl. The family told me over and over that I was not really female and did not measure up to be what a female should be. How many young teens are not only being given gender confusion from the messages of society but that one as well?
When I was in high school, I was openly called "dyke" and "butch". Inside my dreams, fantasies and desires, I wanted a man and dreamed of marriage to one so imagine the confusion as the world and my family told me, having a man was not for me and that I was meant to be a "lesbian" and was not right. Some Aspies are more asexual but when I met my husband, my physical attraction was as strong as any intellectual or other attraction.
I never admitted this before or don't remember it, but my parents were against me marrying. They claimed he was "too poor". He was the one helping me out when we were engaged not them but then I think they wanted to even deny me the joy of being married or even just being in love. They threatened not to come to our wedding. They did not want me to have a normal woman's life. Some types of narcissistic destruction can be more subtle. I have my religious opinions about why society has gotten so focused on the gender bending. I do not believe it is of God.
I can just imagine if I was 30-40 years younger in this type of climate with a narcissist mother denying me my womanhood. Maybe I would be like this young girl wondering if I am "gender queer" or actually a man in a woman's body. Maybe I would have been confused enough to have signed up as a full woman to man transition. I have struggled for years in feeling like I am not fully female like other women. My husband allowed me to be a woman and treated me as one, but inside, the decades of not being allowed to be a female took their toll. I know this is rooted in my abuse. Not having children added to the whole mess but the more I think about it the more I know I was shamed even just for being a female among the narcissists in my family. Even having feminine emotions was looked down on.
Watching what is happening to this girl, is horrifying me. In her case, her narcissists are more sly, in trying to destroy her life. She doesn't realize they are her enemy. I had my years of fog too, but she believes herself to be loved as her narcissistic mother cuts off all her hair and emotionally abuses her into thinking she's not really a girl. I knew I was hated. In her case, she is actually in more danger believing her narcissists have her best interests at heart. There probably is some narcissistic supply in it for them as well, as they can play martyrs regarding their daughters confused sexuality. I have seen this done among some narcissists with having physically or mentally ill children. Some can gain brownie points in some political circles, for the transsexual cause. Our society that has lost it's moral bearings is also adding to her problems.
One thing I always thought about is as they push all this androgyny and transsexual stuff like with Caitlyn Jenner, is our media has narrowly defined even what a male or female is, so if you are not thin and beautiful with big boobs, you are supposedly not really female, and if you aren't muscle bound looking like a linebacker, you are supposedly not really a male. I was given this message 30 years ago but today it has WORSENED.
There are people who have hormonal and other physical problems. Some people are born intersex. It's not for me to judge those people. Even with PCOS, the testosterone coursing through me made for emotional and physical changes, but I was still a girl. Telling people that they can be someone else just from changing their gender, is misleading. Too many believe now that if they were the opposite sex, that it would fix everything.
No one warns about the people who did sex changes and lived to regret it, especially the ones who had surgery. The chromosomes determine it in my opinion. Yes I know that is controversial. I prayed for this girl last night, that she can escape her narcissists and not be given more confusion. There is nothing wrong with a teen girl being a Tom Boy or deciding not to date. Her narcissistic mother has impacted her sexuality. The emotional abuse is making itself known overtly.