tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post2417855422043589426..comments2024-03-24T16:53:02.846-07:00Comments on Five Hundred Pound Peep: Guest Blogger: "God's Will or Plans for Our Lives?"Five Hundred Pound Peephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05862707335431442713noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-16995001638440054732015-07-01T15:46:45.123-07:002015-07-01T15:46:45.123-07:00Yes many in the church going world will say it is ...Yes many in the church going world will say it is evil to be NC from abusers. Some will tout false forgiveness while others will say you must honor your parents and this means going NC is total evil. Once I was at a book group, I kept my mouth shut about being an ACON, and this one woman was angry that the main character had gone NC with an abusive parent. She said there is no reason to ever leave a parent and if they even beat you to a pulp you are to hang in there. She said that is their religious duty. I said I did not agree..<br /><br />In talking with others who have gone NC, I was warned it could bring an adjustment of all relationships refusing abuse, and standing up against it. I was told on one board, when people go NC and are NC long enough, it will change them and their relationships. I know I am done with project friends and avoiding narcs as much as possible.<br /><br />Sadly some Christians believe false theologies about God, and try to say God has brought someone suffering, and these people may mean well and even have sincere beliefs but these type of teachings can hurt those who have gone through hardships and their relationships with God. God is not the author of evil. Telling a homeless person God will fill you up as they freeze under the bridge and eat out of a dumpster is a cop-out. If they know you personally they should be helping the homeless person or taking them to someone who can help. <br /><br />Even with the divorce stuff. I do believe one is to stay married even if husband loses his job or becomes poor. It's <br />"for richer or poorer". I know those words were in my vows. I do believe if your mate is trying hard and doing everything they can, then this should not be the reason for your divorce. This is different from someone whose husband has abandoned them, and who will not work at all--non-disabled. <br /><br />That sounds like a false church pushing divorce and alcoholic beverages there is even a bible verses that says a man needs to make sure the needs of his own family are provided for first before running off to anyone elses. It sounds like these were bad husbands at least in one case where he was not providing at all or even attempting to. I am glad they were able to get jobs later. <br /><br />I am glad you befriended normal people. I had good friends too before and even in my last church in my old community, I know they are out there. I met one nice lady in the church I even recently left. Many of the "real" people don't bother with those false platitudes and surely there are others who see through them too. Thanks ThreeThousandMileRunning, agree about the narcs and enablers. :)Five Hundred Pound Peephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05862707335431442713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-33133295455810674692015-07-01T12:43:55.329-07:002015-07-01T12:43:55.329-07:00I thought I would leave Christianity and join Jewi...I thought I would leave Christianity and join Jewish churches. Some so-called Christians attacked me for going NC with my adopted narc mother even though they knew that she abused me. Several older adults implied that they thought I was “soiling the oats” and then would reconcile with my adopted narc mother, even though they knew she abused me. It was worse during my earlier years of being in NC with my adopted narc mother. At that time, I started to drifting away from and going NC with my old narc and project friends, and started surrounding myself with normal people/<br /><br />At that time, several Christian women befriended me. They told me that they did not like these Christian tracts (memes before internet existed), but they wanted to leave their abusive husbands. Both of them had husbands who failed to be a good provider, even though their husband wanted a stay-at-home mother. They wanted to go to college and see their children to succeed. <br /><br />Then they talked about “having faith in God” or “putting God first in my life.” What they meant to say was that I will not be able to make decision anymore or have freedom, because God will make decision for me or control my life. God will spiritually fill me up so I will feel rich when I am homeless. I thought that was awful. At that same time, I did not see these ladies doing what God wanted them to do, which I interpreted as something they did not want to do, and they were getting a divorce because their husband failed to provide for them financially.<br /><br />They told me that they gave their husband many chances before they chose to leave their husband. They went to a non-denominational Christian church who taught prosperity gospel. One of their husbands went to a church who told him that God was okay with his decision to neglect his family financially, and that God was okay with his decision to use his money on alcoholic beverages and for his entertainment rather than paying his bills and taking care of his family. Both of them had a husband who told him that God wanted them to “submit” to their husband, regardless of his decisions to neglect them financially or decisions they made. My “Christian” friend eventually divorced their husband and stopped contacting me. Years later, I learned from Googling online that one became a school teacher and another became a bus driver. <br /><br />I began to befriend normal people. Some were churchgoing people, however, their outlook and understanding of God have been different that those who grew up in an abusive and/or narcissistic homes. They usually do not post these memes or give out Christian tracts with some false platitudes about life in general. You will see as you go along with your healing. Don’t let narcs and their enablers tell you how to feel, what to think, and ruin your healing journey. <br />ThreeThousandMileRunning<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-47859176121785666602015-06-23T19:06:19.297-07:002015-06-23T19:06:19.297-07:00I believe many young people become ex-Christians w...I believe many young people become ex-Christians watching this nonsense. If not for my relationship with God, I'd probably be over there with them. I was an atheist most of my young life dabbling in other things. I'm an ex-goth too, even. I don't think ex-christian cares, yes they probably are supply for the scoffers. I worry for them handed more deceit but then can understand why people are so burned out and fed up from the churches and the hypocrisy. I read over there years ago, most seemed to be abuse victims of narc parents, the soul murder the narcs do, extends to the spiritual life of their adult children. People wearing the face of religion like that one woman who wrote Jesusland and her "Christian" parents were monsters. I pray for them too. Five Hundred Pound Peephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05862707335431442713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-73135175935963828862015-06-23T19:03:17.334-07:002015-06-23T19:03:17.334-07:00Yes I tire of the people who think we must all tal...Yes I tire of the people who think we must all talk of positive things or that we have no faith. It is crazy. I feel the pressure among them to wear the mask. Never let one fault show lest one be deemd horrible.<br /><br />I am glad you had an early relationship with God, Joan, I was an atheist pretty young, age 8 or 9 or 10? I forget the exact age but it came around that time. It is good someone told you the gospel too and I felt the same way.<br /><br />Yes it is like these people believe the garden of eden will be here, with all the perfect humans. <br /><br />I have read in the OT they lived for hundreds of years, wonder about that, maybe God figured less then 100 was all anyone could take.<br />Sorry you were so hurt trying to get help for an abusive marriage. Speaking of abuse in Christian circles even earlier child abuse growing up is a giant no-no, I know that all too-well. <br /><br />I know some of the prosperity and "good" "Christian" set can be nice, but I know now they are not people I can get close to and they really do not want anyone that close to them.<br /><br />I think it is believed if you are sick or not getting the financial thing together or other myriad of problems, most do believe it was your fault or something you are doing "wrong". Five Hundred Pound Peephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05862707335431442713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-16466133389718281072015-06-22T17:30:21.969-07:002015-06-22T17:30:21.969-07:00It's no wonder ex-christian draws so much traf...It's no wonder ex-christian draws so much traffic. Yep, more than a few stories about spiritual abuse comming from the moneyed happy-clappies. Am positive there are a few suffering saints over there who think ex-christian's web-masters really care. Hah, the abuse-victims who post over there are nothing but supply for the scoffers. i pray for those suffering saints, that they come back to Christ and find real churches that are reasonably free of wolves. Sad to say, church can be a dangerous place - that's why some people walk. Oh, hold them up Lord Jesus.Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12009191540139452049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-25650998566268572772015-06-22T12:26:50.035-07:002015-06-22T12:26:50.035-07:00Yeah, and I can't talk about anything that mig...Yeah, and I can't talk about anything that might be upsetting because it means that I have no faith and I'm not trusting God. <br /><br />I have been at this for a very long time, praying my whole life, I never had a salvation moment, it was like God swooped me in right from birth, and he has been with me this whole time. Even while the unthinkable abuse was going on. And it was horrible, but I never felt alone in myself.<br /><br />But it wasn't until I was older I got a bible education. I found it so amazing that He had to send His Son to die for me. That there was a cost to Him and he paid it in full for Him to talk to me. But He has been with me and speaking to me my whole life. <br /><br />He could have ended all my suffering a very long time ago, but it continued to happen anyway. I don't know why. I had some moments over it wondering why this had to happen but it never changed my belief, that He still loves me. But it happened. <br /><br />Lots of bad things happen. I imagine that garden of eden and what it must have looked like. We can't grow a garden like that, it would never happen in this world. But these people seem to think we can do better. <br /><br />I heard we used to live for a very long time and God shortened our lifespan because of the state of the world. I guess I'm just rambling now.<br /><br />I had a Christian friend once that everyone said was so kind and compassionate. But she ripped me a new one cause I dared to talk of the abusive marriage I was in. It was just reality. It wasn't to say I lacked faith or God couldn't fix it. And it wasn't for advice either. <br /><br />Its hard now, cause I do have these acquaintences who are border prosperity people. But they are nice people, who I can talk to. Its a struggle cause most people I talk to think that you are a bad person for even having struggles.<br /><br />Sorry for the ramble. Isn't it just amazing when you can really talk to someone about real stuff and it's like this pressure inside you just releases. <br /><br />Joan Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07775873193806083833noreply@blogger.com