tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post7143030338677643535..comments2024-03-24T16:53:02.846-07:00Comments on Five Hundred Pound Peep: My Mother and MeFive Hundred Pound Peephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05862707335431442713noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-66446204775222799022016-05-20T06:23:32.592-07:002016-05-20T06:23:32.592-07:00I hurt just reading about your pain. I'm glad ...I hurt just reading about your pain. I'm glad you are brave enough to post this. I'm an RN and see this in others. I hope to have these suffering ones know there are others. Thank you for your post. Hope you have a good day.chocohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07654148267143413470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-64102453387221838692013-07-03T03:46:28.994-07:002013-07-03T03:46:28.994-07:00Thanks anon, I am glad you could relate to my arti...Thanks anon, I am glad you could relate to my article.<br /><br />Sadly many follow the rejecting people's lead. Years and decades of being badmouthed, it takes an incredible toll. I am sorry your mother did not stand up for you. In my case, my father was just as bad if not worse in some cases, with rages added to the poison mix. Both my parents would team up on the scapegoating. When I look back I realize they treated many people like they were "worms" and "not good enough". There were scapegoats of previous generations, that I grew up hearing about what "losers" they were. One today is a destroyed human being that "never left home". She never got away and today you see the results. She served as a "warning" to me. <br /><br />Others who are part of a cruel family, they often learn to be cruel at the behest of the narcissistic alphas, who basically teach them that feelings and vulnerability are weaknesses and that life is a competition of stepping on the weak, and appearances. Life is lived according to secrets and lies, and truth-telling is spat upon. <br /><br />I am glad you are in a normal weight range, one thing I have noticed is because of our societies obsession and hatred for fat people even NORMAL weight people when it comes to abusers will be told they are "fat". That is correct you never could please him. Too thin one minute, and too fat the next. I think with mine, my severe weight problems served as an avenue for more ostracization and abuse, but even in this case, I never would have been "good enough" even if I had been a normal person.<br /><br /> You are right it was just an excuse to reject you. They will come up with any and everything. Today I had to face I did not deserve my abuse, they treated me like an absolute worm even during my working years when I worked so hard and had come out of college. These types will look for anything and everything to put down those they want to abuse. If there is nothing there, they'll make it up.<br /><br />Mine told me I was "stupid", I grew up parents angry on one level that I did good in school, so they switched things to screaming at me for having "no common sense". The endless criticisms and insults never ended. So sorry you faced this too. You are right it is not our fault we were rejected by these people, not at all. So sorry yours did such such evil things to you too. <br /><br />Yes there are other people who tried to please, fit in, have parents that loved them and faced this. I hope people can read this and know the best choice is to get away if they face family members like this. If young and you are facing a family or parents like this, get away. Don't go back. Don't even keep low contact as I did for years due to my circumstances. You won't change them. People of these personality structures are never going to wake up one day and apologize [if they do it is most likely fake or meant to manipulate] or pay attention to the fact of another person's feelings. They do not care. They do not love like normal people.<br /><br />Thanks, I am glad I made the decision to put all these toxic relationships behind me. Take care anon, I am glad you got away from your abusive family and hope life today is good for you.Five Hundred Pound Peephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05862707335431442713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-6810367886629696312013-07-02T21:18:58.859-07:002013-07-02T21:18:58.859-07:00You wrote, "Part of my healing that I seek no...You wrote, "Part of my healing that I seek now is not just the physical but inside too, and that means choosing to be free. I don't need to keep people in my life who are toxic to me. Choosing to be me, and seeking after God's will, those who truly love me and living life according to my values."<br /><br />Thank you for this valuable article. I can relate to so much of it, except my stepfather played the rejecting role in my life rather than my mother. (After I became a teenager she would often follow his lead, though. When you have someone badmouthing you all the time, it rubs off on others.) <br /><br />I am in the normal weight range and have been all of my life, but I remember he would tell me I was fat. I finally got down to 110 pounds as a teen and then he got angry and said I had better not lose any more weight. (110 is normal for my frame and height -- as a teenager, anyway.) I felt I could never please him. First I'm too fat and then I'm too thin?<br /><br /> Now, so many years later, I realize that weight had nothing to do with the rejection. It was just an excuse to reject me. Sometimes I would do "dumb things" as a child and he would call me "stupid" and tell me I needed to have my head examined, etc. I realize <br /><br />He was abusing me (and getting paid so that others could abuse me) and it was easier on his conscience to make me the "bad one." <br /><br /> It was not my fault I was rejected and it is not your fault you are rejected by your mother.<br /><br />I just wanted to share that there are others out there who tried to please and tried to fit in but could never do so. Parents are the ones who are supposed to provide safety, validation, correction, and love, and when there is nothing but condemnation, then something needs to change. I'm glad you made the decision to put this toxic relationship behind you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-19589230566005801912013-07-02T19:56:59.436-07:002013-07-02T19:56:59.436-07:00Thanks Therese, that day kind of summed things up ...Thanks Therese, that day kind of summed things up to me, a repeat of former actions. Thanks for your words, I appreciate it.Five Hundred Pound Peephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05862707335431442713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-8484426157069470442013-07-02T17:32:25.163-07:002013-07-02T17:32:25.163-07:00I'm so, so sorry honey. The image of your moth...I'm so, so sorry honey. The image of your mother not coming into spend a little Christmas time with you...again I'm just at a loss for words. Theresehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12548448958613700678noreply@blogger.com