tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post7555976934087609467..comments2024-03-24T16:53:02.846-07:00Comments on Five Hundred Pound Peep: Breaking the Chains of The Narcissist Family's Lies and False Expectations.Five Hundred Pound Peephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05862707335431442713noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-8116843656289683922015-11-29T17:17:19.447-08:002015-11-29T17:17:19.447-08:00Oh yes this a good one. Or blame ourselves for go...Oh yes this a good one. Or blame ourselves for going grey early, or for not being as pretty as the others. Now wouldn't that just be plain silly. <br /><br /> Its good your husband has the background emotional resources for not blaming himself, that was given to him by his family. I can imagine the pain of WW2 and the way they lived, and I'm sure if they too, could have it another way, they would. <br /><br />When I start picking on myself, I say, "oh no, not allowed to do that." Its a big burden off my shoulders. I agree they set us up for predators. And the evil of it. I still remember my mother telling me about all the other pretty girls at my grade 8 graduation. From that I got I was ugly, and not worth anything, and everyone was better.Joan Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07775873193806083833noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-38317841269033673822015-11-29T13:43:18.704-08:002015-11-29T13:43:18.704-08:00Excellent post Peep. It is exactly what has been r...Excellent post Peep. It is exactly what has been running through my mind the past few months, just beautifully put into words. I really enjoyed it and can relate to every single thing you wrote and every single lie you've heard. Even the ridiculous "you'll never get married" crap. Wishful thinking on their part I guess...Elli Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04560671685202512679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-50881040606917165462015-11-29T06:31:39.456-08:002015-11-29T06:31:39.456-08:00Thanks TW:) Yes I remember those VLC days. I have ...Thanks TW:) Yes I remember those VLC days. I have told people on message boards be careful of LC as a "solution" too much was taken out of me even with the little contact. I know every person has to determine what is right for them, but it is a warning I have given. Yes the whole "feel the fear and do it anyway" as courage. Like the lyrics, A LOT.<br />Five Hundred Pound Peephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05862707335431442713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-7591491840353628282015-11-29T06:30:08.563-08:002015-11-29T06:30:08.563-08:00I agree about the self acceptance, I get into that...I agree about the self acceptance, I get into that mode. I am so used to beating myself up with their shrill voices in my head, that getting away from that, has definitely helped. I agree, always having tor reassure myself for the poverty can be hard. I am glad my husband was able to escape some of that self blame--his parents grew up in WW2 so let's just say hardship was not considered something to blame one's self for in that family. I know we got trained to blame ourselves whenever someone is mean to us, how does that work? It actually is one way they set us up for the future abusers and predators. I have to tell myself the same things, to get through the day. Bashing one's head on the brick wall got tiring.Five Hundred Pound Peephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05862707335431442713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-80856330792529879522015-11-29T05:24:31.723-08:002015-11-29T05:24:31.723-08:00Congratulations, Peep. You sound far more at peace...Congratulations, Peep. You sound far more at peace than ever before. I remember when you stood fearfully uncertain on the precipice from VLC to NC. You couldn't go back and you were afraid you couldn't fly. But you did it anyway-isn't that what Courage is?<br />For you (and Mr. Peep too:)<br />"So ring the bells that still can ring<br />Forget your perfect offering<br />There's a hole in everything<br />That's how the light gets in..."<br /> - Leonard Cohen<br />TW<br />Tundra Womanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12262066568878267648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-45576208404697341162015-11-28T20:20:11.246-08:002015-11-28T20:20:11.246-08:00When I make myself stop picking on myself, there i...When I make myself stop picking on myself, there is like this huge void. Then I have to fill it back up again with self-acceptance.<br /><br />I wonder were we even born this way. The need for constant validation, reassurance, or if we were just born filled up. I wonder what it would feel like to never have that void and just always feel good.<br /><br />Like for instance, always having to reassure yourself for poverty, that it is not your fault. Or just be willing to accept that it isn't your fault and never knowing how to blame yourself. <br /><br />With me, I blame myself for whenever someone treats me badly, and its hard for me not to. Or in any circumstance, that we blame ourselves in, its feels impossible not to. <br /><br />So that is what I mean by that void. Once I stop blaming myself, its like now what? Well, I have to tell myself that I am enough, I'm loved etc. I hope I make sense, and if anyone else has encountered this same thing. Joan Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07775873193806083833noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-56306236867140293012015-11-28T18:29:58.665-08:002015-11-28T18:29:58.665-08:00Yes, they make up total lies. Near the end when I ...Yes, they make up total lies. Near the end when I was waking up, mine lied as naturally as brushing her teeth and it was stupid stuff too. I am questioning some of the stories I was told by her and about others. She told me she came home from her vacation home once and her whole house almost blew up from gas, that seemed some kind of plea for drama. Yeah none of them would even show this stuff to psychiatrists, they would appear "reasonable" without measure. Oh sure they know how to deflect attention off themselves and go for any available scapegoats as needed. I've read books about Warren Jeffs that is one complete sociopath, he's got so much power he even can tell men who obey him, that their families are no longer theirs and are being transferred to another man. Think about that one. He sexually abused both boys and girls. Probably was possessed. Yes makes things up as he goes along. Yes that tells me how bad your mother is. Strong narcs all run their own little mini-cults even if they don't become famous in the religion world.Five Hundred Pound Peephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05862707335431442713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-85584602768472063002015-11-28T18:25:10.362-08:002015-11-28T18:25:10.362-08:00Yes it was all lies. Yeah the focus on being rich ...Yes it was all lies. Yeah the focus on being rich and a "success" got insane. They only care about using children to show off as trophies to the rest of the world. Glad you won't beat yourself up either. Nope there was never any love, and I having to uproot a lot of their delusions they unloaded on me. I think it's sick they are abusive to a sick child or even adult. Narcs never worry. Well my mother did, never showed one ounce of fear or worry to me in her entire life.Five Hundred Pound Peephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05862707335431442713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-64672443306966606672015-11-28T18:23:16.567-08:002015-11-28T18:23:16.567-08:00No such things as unconditional love either to a n...No such things as unconditional love either to a narc.Five Hundred Pound Peephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05862707335431442713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-13730965667816526492015-11-28T18:22:57.264-08:002015-11-28T18:22:57.264-08:00Agree. Flush them right away.Agree. Flush them right away.Five Hundred Pound Peephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05862707335431442713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-74014292089706164732015-11-28T18:22:45.505-08:002015-11-28T18:22:45.505-08:00Thanks. It is insane. I'm not sure if the heal...Thanks. It is insane. I'm not sure if the health problems come from them or some of them but either way it's insane.Five Hundred Pound Peephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05862707335431442713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-20212276772097519952015-11-28T17:52:17.926-08:002015-11-28T17:52:17.926-08:00With my mother she made her lies up as as she went...With my mother she made her lies up as as she went along with absolutely no intersection with any known truth, so even if we wanted to defend ourselves from her we had no way of knowing what she was going to say or when she was going to say it. She would concoct the most bizarre stories. None of them approached the truth. I am pretty sure we could have had her committed if a psychiatrist ever had her for a patient long enough for her to drop the mask, but that was never going to happen. Anytime, anyone, even hinted at her need for professional help she would create a situation that would consume the culprit or deflect attention off her long enough for us to forget she was crazy. I watched a show about Warren Jeff's the latter day Saints guy and one of the people there investigating him said that you have a guy that has made a religion up as he went along and is crazy by any definition of the word. Factor out the religion part and you have my mother. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-77646599370663545612015-11-28T16:30:20.407-08:002015-11-28T16:30:20.407-08:00Yes, they are all lies. I was told to be rich and...Yes, they are all lies. I was told to be rich and famous too. As an abused child, so much was expected out of me. I will no longer beat the crap out of myself either. It hurts that they never truly loved us, only used as fodder to abuse. I have to override everything I've ever been taught. Justice will be sealed, I am so certain of that. <br /><br />I could never be abusive to a sick child. The whole idea is nuts. And not to worry day and night over my children, is impossible. I hate narcs. Joan Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07775873193806083833noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-72224461167366147712015-11-28T16:07:59.388-08:002015-11-28T16:07:59.388-08:00With Narcissists all love is conditional. With Narcissists all love is conditional. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-28966833440342364342015-11-28T15:32:03.301-08:002015-11-28T15:32:03.301-08:00For everyone reading this blog please take each an...For everyone reading this blog please take each and every horrible abusive statement that any Narcissistic person has ever said to you and flush them away. You were not wrong. They were! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-650289478442133391.post-74745170432040757512015-11-28T14:29:22.314-08:002015-11-28T14:29:22.314-08:00I am really glad to hear that you are finally lear...I am really glad to hear that you are finally learning to live and accept yourself. I mean think about it. You had serious autoimmune issues that came from your family. Then they blame you for it?! How insane is that. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com