Thursday, August 6, 2020

The Fearless and the Selfish: Narcissism and Sociopathy are Destroying America

 America is such a narcissistic society and selfish society that even with the risk of death, the multitudes that believe they are "special" in their cruel God's eyes, don't care about themselves and others. I hate the masks too, but have cringed at the sheer numbers out there who waltz around without a care in the world breathing on whoever they please without one iota of worry about getting the Covid virus or spreading an asymptomatic virus. The rest of the world that believes in science and has gained more of a foothold over Covid19, now looks at America with horror. They should.

I live in a very conservative area that is rural, Republicans outnumber Democrats here by a lot, sometimes it gets very rough. We drive down the street and see 30-40 people outside at a bar, all grouped together, no masks, they are outside so circumventing orders against too many people indoors, but I am filled with dread. The Proud Boy flags pop up like mushrooms across the surrounding landscape. This is a "bible belt" area in the Midwest. Even the people I went to public high school with 90% of them are evangelicals and Republicans. My parents truly chopped my future into bits moving me away from an urban suburb to redneck land.

One local "friend" I have realized is more a "ministry" friend, held two parties, one for her retirement and one for her sister's 50th birthday.  Pictures of smiling people sharing potluck dinners on Facebook were put on display of all these people without a care in the world. How could these people sit there, not even worrying one of their friends or loved family members may catch it and die? Their very nature is foreign to me. One or two masks were in the photos but Covid was last on all their minds.

Even people I wrongly believed to be "moderate" Republicans see the virus as a "hoax". My county has thousands of cases, it was controlled for a short time, but is skyrocketing back up. Can you see why? I worry about social engineering, and control with this virus too, but watching people like this has shocked me, they just don't care. It reminds me of my upbringing among my parents who never were afraid of anything.  Can't breathe? "Tough, shut up and sit back down." Can't breathe? "You are ruining all the fun, time for our party, be quiet."

The Grim Reaper wouldn't dare upset their social plans. After all Jesus even though millions died in  the black plagues in Europe, supposedly saves them from all germs. Is this what it means to be a person whose life has gone so swimmingly well, that they can't even conceive of bad things happening to them?  The pompous fools ignoring history classes for life, think the good times are always going to roll even as the climate implodes? That only terrible things happen to OTHER PEOPLE? Others bragged about gatherings they attended without masks. None of them ever worried a friend may get it and die?

 I feel like my life is being destroyed by people like this. The virus was not contained and probably will never be contained. It could turn endemic. I have almost died gasping for air in hospital beds in my past before, and have to use a nebulized medicine twice a day just to breathe right on a normal day, and the PTSD mixture with this has been horrible for me. I am beyond fed up with people who just want me to shut up and repress all my emotions.

People are not thinking this out. The virus is not dying, it is growing and spreading. One doctor claims we will be stuck with it for years here. Other countries borders are closed. I think we could be looking at full collapse here. I hear a new person all the time who tells me so and so died of Covid. Several people at my UU fellowship have lost friends, and family members due to Covid.

One thing I am noticing among these smug Christian is they keep writing me and posting on Facebook, that I and others are a "bad people" for being afraid. Fear is bad to such types. Fear serves a need for the human animal in that it serves as a warning bell. This brings me flashbacks to narcissists too, who never feel fear or emotion, and demand that others do too. They are so sheep-dipped in prosperity gospel, and fantasy, that they are actually condemning me and others for having emotions during global pandemic and possible economic collapse. One local conservative Lutheran woman against masks, unfriended and blocked me for disagreeing with her and warning she could be putting her several children in danger.

I had a leg infection too last week,[first one in a year and half] and was able to get antibiotics, but that brought me fear as well. I had a 103.6 fever, and sat there in bed shaking from chills, wondering if I had caught Covid, the red on my leg said otherwise pretty soon, and wondering if I was going to die soon. This infection is better now.

 Their spiritual bypassing of people's emotions, disgusts me. The appeals to be a drone even during events like this sicken me. I wonder if another blogger with her perfect boomer life, will call me a "victim" for having emotions yet again.  40 million Americans may be evicted but she's got her life in order, and only "losers" and "failures" still have feelings. Such types will condemn someone for not having a "good life".  The privilege and arrogance drips out of their conservative boomer pores. They love the injustice, and are angry at anyone who speaks out against it.

 That's one thing I've noticed how these evangelical Christian types seem to have no empathy. They really don't care about anyone but themselves. I believe all the people of conscience are flooding out, of these churches and more, what type of people are staying? What kind of character issues do these people have?

Most are following their beloved amoral antichrist down plague ridden highway. Their conservative religion with it's disgusting Orange Savior is literally now a vector of death. I don't like Biden and consider him an oligarch but decided to vote for Biden ALONE based on Covid, just so there will be changes to Covid spreading. Trump seems prepared to cheat, and use his post office lackey--Dejoy to cook the election, but if things keep going on this way, there will be no America left.

 I thought about the Republicans holding a Fourth of July parade in my old town, taking photos of 50-60 people including children all grouped together and had the thought, America has a narcissism and sociopathy problem. If plague can't even motivate you to hold back your plans a little bit or even protect your own children or yourself, then something is wrong. I think that something wrong is narcissism and a giant dose of sociopathy. America has become a culture where competition, and crass commercialism taught people to be wolves to "win" and now the wolves literally are ready to shred each other to bits. Wolves don't give a shit about feelings, or protecting others or societal cooperation. They hate "victims" and if someone has any weakness, it is to be vilified and hated.

   America has sunk into this individualistic mode married to this idea that good health comes to those who DESERVE it, so much so, that even basic social cooperation to quarantine to stop a plague, has broken down. I see people who believe they never can get sick. They believe Jesus will protect them from germs. A few have told me folk remedies like baking soda or colloidal silver will fix it all.

They embrace all of Trump's pseudo-science and other nonsense. This brings me back to flashbacks about narcissists who had no empathy for health problems and believed only "losers" got sick or [got poor]. We now have 160,000 deaths and counting, and people still support the man who allowed this to happen to our country. That's one thing about sociopaths and narcissists, they know how to deflect blame and even if there is a giant screw up beyond the pale, they still manage to rise above it all.

    My extreme disappointment in people who seem to have no empathy for others and this extreme of selfishness has been growing. I have some friendships on the edge of imploding.  Deconversion even three years later really has brought home, the inauthenticity of "Christian" friendships. Some I tried to have discussions with. It has been fruitless. They seemed like such nice people but they support evil things. I can't sugarcoat it anymore.

Others I felt silenced and repressed and afraid fearing the inevitable. I know I destroyed my social life becoming a Christian fundamentalist. My protests against Trump, my belief in science is angering friends and distance is growing between us. This is a process that has ended as many friendships almost as going no contact. I would rather be alone then around people who censor me or expect me to support the evil they do.

What is there to say to people who think fascism is GOOD and have no problem with people being rounded up? One friend I may have brought back from the brink but I still find myself thinking, "You all expect a poor person to vote for people who did nothing but crush her, all her life?" I feel afraid of people who seem to glory in the destruction, the suffering and even in plague spreading like wildfire. My protesting, and standing against injustice has brought out anger in those who support the system. We are in a time now probably where tons of families and friendships are cracking apart. Too many have chosen insanity. I suppose some people during Nazi Germany in the 1930s, had those feelings of horror at the cruelty of those around them.

Narcissists and sociopaths advance death, and a destruction and watching a literal death cult affect this country is disturbing. Bodies pile up and they don't care. Every ACON is familiar with the malignants who deny what is happening. If they want to run off a suicide cliff, I don't have to follow but the problem is with Covid19 , their actions AFFECT me and a multitude of others. You can dance while the world burns and post crap about how "God is in control" but I don't have to follow.  All rationality has left people like this. Embrace the dark ages, and the worse dystopian future for your billionaire masters as you lick their boots, but I am pissed and won't accept it. I choose logic, sanity and at least will know I tried to protect others and listened to my conscience instead of idiots.

I have friends who do share my values and husband as well, but it is painful to lose friendships of many years duration. If you support people I think are as evil as Nazis, what does this say about you? And why won't you wake up? Do I have more narcissists around me that remained under the radar? I don't even want to talk to the friend who had the two parties ever again. I am someone who can handle people disagreeing with me, and the whole "agree to disagree" thing but there's a point where people reject human rights, another person's right to a decent life, advance racism, and join with oppressors where that tolerance vaporizes.

Most are clinging to the Trump cult without any self examination. Trump is a great man to them no matter his laundry list of fraud, crime and harm to others. Too many worship a God of cruelty, that wants plague spread, and does not care about the lives of fellow human beings. I am talking about the evangelical and conservative Christians here, who reject basic social cooperation in trying to stem plague. There are Christians out there who do support justice and stand against racism like people who belong to the Poor People's Campaign. So you expect me to fear socialists and people who want some social safety nets, for the ones unleashing jackboots across America, who will want to beat me down with a baton or shove me into a van and black box prison, for peacefully standing with a protest sign? I was right to leave a religion that when it has power, always desires to oppress. Those who believe in a God that wants to torture most people for their beliefs, have brought the hell they wish on other people to this very earth.

 One thing always lobbed at me is I am negative by such types. The places to be authentic here are very few and far between. I wish people didn't think complaining was evil, this is how we got in the shitty place we are now in to begin with. The "I got mine Jack and everything's alright" people screwed up all our lives now.  A lot of true colors are being shown, and while some people will surprise us with kindness, others will shock and disappoint.

The narcissists and sociopaths literally ruined America. The conservative boomers have lit a match to this place and are burning it down on their way out.  They don't care about the little kids they will pack into schools in about a month to spread the virus with it's life long effects.  The cult of always smile and never talk about anything bad and always be improving is part of the reason it's going down here.  I'm done kissing anyone's ass or faking emotions for anyone. If you support the death cult, and are refusing to wear masks, and don't believe in science, we got a problem. Your piece of crap sociopath you love has put all of our lives in danger, and even the country we live in and it's very future. 

According to Narcissists, Positive Thinking will Fix Everything.


  1. Here' a great blog I follow:

    I was blogging daily, myself, but Blogger has changed the software so as to make it unusable so I won't be blogging any more. Hang in there if you can! If Blogger becomes unusable for you, also, consider Wordpress.

    1. I switched mine back to the old form. Forget how I did it though.

    2. Yeah blogger's new format is terrible, and it is not phone-friendly. i switched back to the regular format, but toward the end of August, the legacy will no longer be available. Why the change in format? Oh i don't know, but the reason just reeks of rotten eggs.

  2. Wow good blog...

    "I predicted the demise of America in the Twilight book, 20 years ago, and now it is upon us. The country will look radically different by 2030, and it's not going to be pretty. Of course, Americans are not very bright, so many of them believe the situation can be turned around. Which I have likened to trying to turn around an aircraft carrier in a bathtub. It just ain't gonna happen, as all of you know. The US was founded on faulty premises (hustling), and now the chickens are coming home to roost. The man in the White House is the consummate hustler, fully representative of Americans' deepest aspirations. The spiritual goal of the Middle Ages--salvation--has been replaced by secular salvation, i.e. money: to live in a big house, drive a Mercedes, own a private plane, and drink $20,000-bottles of wine. An empty life, a stupid life, and what almost all Americans think life is about. Pretty thin fare, when you think about it."

  3. Don't agree with him on "progs" but I know the left can go feral too, especially the neoliberalism that brought us to where we are today ignoring all the economic issues.

  4. I have been writing about the narcissistic nation too for awhile. Even just: "Where has polite society gone?"

    Good post, Peeps!

    1. Thanks Lise. Yeah I appreciate your writings about the narcissistic nation too.

  5. In the UK its fair to say the plague hasnt bought out the best in most. chaotic government with a shrug its shoulders attitude , the press and its an illness just for the old and the sick so get out there and party . We feel fortunate to have a small disability pension on a regular basis and a tumbledown state owned house in a village miles from anywhere , the towns and cities have been much harder hit , here its been mainly death by stupidity, the local pub landlord went to the races two days before lockdown and snuffed it a week later . Though a 90 year old neighbour was asymptomatic and has antibodies , he hadnt left his house for months and had no visitors...go figure

    1. Hi Kate, glad you live more remotely to avoid the worse of Covid. Sorry to hear people are being selfish there like here. It is weird to watch all these people go party on Facebook and they don't care. One reason this Covid crap hasn't ended is they keep spreading it. I wonder if they are researching why some go asymptomatic and why others don't.

  6. Hi Kate,

    You're not alone! I feel like you. I can relate to the torturous, Aspie outcast growing-up period. Was never officially diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum (as my tiny circle of friends generously likes to suggest....often! ��)

    Thank God for Dr. Berman's blog (and yours)! I enjoy your writing...and there's NOTHING wrong with pointing out the negative!

    Have you heard of "Bright Sided?" It's a book written by Barbara Ehrenreich all about how American society practically forces the whole "positive thinking" (crock) line of thinking on everyone—even on the sick and dying! I loved the book... So much of what you express here is reflected deeply in "Bright Sided."

    Another observation, if I may say so: I am struck by your no means do I mean any disparage my Protestant brothers and sisters, but you seem to possess a deeper, more profound grasp of the essence of what's truly meaningful in this existence... You FEEL to me like the Roman Catholic type...LOL

    I only mean this in the most respectful way. We're mega-flawed, too (especially me), and there's quite a bit of dogma in Catholicism I guess I'll spend my life trying to wrap my mind and soul around...but as far as just the overall, powerful impression I've absorbed from your writing, Kate, I got "Catholic-ish" vibes. That, to me, is a good thing (and, oh, I'm not biased... LOL)!

    * Taking a deep breath *

    All that weirdness (from my end) being said, hope I didn't drive any wedge! I offer the observation as a compliment of the highest order.

    I hope you, and those who force their unmasked presence on others, remain Covid-free. I hope you stay healthy in every way (sticking to the solid science, despite our faith, if you ask me is the way to go. God gave us these here brains—at least some of us—for a reason, I reckon! ������)

    A hug to you, Kate! Thank you for helping ME feel less alone!

    With warmest regards,

    Love, Cindy

    1. Hi Cindy,

      Thanks for your kind words but I probably should tell you I am an ex-Catholic too, search for Catholic in the index. My abusive family was uber-Catholic and I went to Catholic school educated by nuns.

      One reason I am NC today is I left my family's religion very young at 17.

      I am not surprised if you picked up Catholic-ish vibes, I was educated from ages 6-12/13 by nuns in full habit. LOL Probably as a Unitarian Universalist today, there are liberal Catholics I could get on with, more universalistic in outlook but the fundies actually took me into anti-Catholicism for a time telling me the Catholic church was the "whore of Babylon". I do have a weird fondness for the "Father Brown" TV show, so maybe that is some of the vestiges of Catholicism that are left.

      Thanks for wishing that I stay Covid-free I hope for the same for you too!

      Oh I loved the book Bright Sided and the author who wrote it, I mention that book a few times on this blog too! :)

  7. Argh...! My post was meant for YOU, Peep, not Kate... * Facepalm *

    My apologies...!

    Love, Cindy