One thing about me, that people find out, is I do not fit any cookie cutter mold. I know this society sells its own manufactured rebellion, picture here the pierced nose and tattoo crowd convincing us how very different they are, as they form clones of each other at the local hipster hangout. One thing I worry about in this society is true individuals are getting rarer and rarer, via an over homogenized media and conformity. Being fat, there is a negative mold waiting and ready for you, a role they want you to play as forever inferior to the "thin" and "broken down" and "apologetic" for your very existence. I remember when I was young, having achieved at least a college degree and some professional work even before my weight gain as I was still in the midsized category, being told in endless ways, I was no good just based on my body size. For me facing my own mortality when I was young, I had to wake up fast. It was stand up for myself time or die.
I look at people even 300lbs thinner then me, their lives a stress out hamster wheel of enforced self-improvement. Even people, especially women, with 20 extra pounds feel the pressure. Lose weight if you can--God go with you and if you want, but do not expect everyone's body to operate like your own, or that everyone should match you. No one ever questions, "hey maybe its not all about the food, but messed up lives with less leisure, social activity, wholesome food and meaningful movement?". Realizing the majority of researchers are being herded [mostly] in the profit off fat pool instead of real answers, was another wake up call for me. This told me something else I suspected but really hadn't checked out.
But then this country is asleep about so much not just obesity, drugged out, trance induced, brainwashed by the media, which forms their likes, dislikes, thoughts and behaviors, rather then thinking for themselves. This relates to why the economy is collapsing and why the powers that be have succeeded in getting Americans to embrace their own demise. The destruction of unions is one example. Yes they grew corrupt and bloated but dumbed down America, forgot what people fought for in the early part of the 20th century when it came to worker's rights. But why expect rational thought when the media tells so many "WHAT" to think. It applies to obesity by the way. They make money off of the fat people, they make money off the diet failures, They make money off the cheap food processed to death with sugar and fat poured in. So forth and so on.
I have accepted that some "magic" thin day is never coming for me unless God wills otherwise. I've lost 150lbs even and said goodbye to it forever, and have lost at least officially according to my endocrinologists scale, 50 over the last 3 years, but there is a point, where the weight, doesn't matter anymore. I had to get to a point when it came to emotional survival, in saying, God knows the truth about me and what my life has been like and why my body came to be the way it was. My whole life, so many on the outside sought to define me wholly by the body size. I see it as a mental prison, the body is imprisoning enough where you cannot do many things you miss but do not let them imprison you mentally. That is worse. Walk with your head up high. And understand God defines what is important not the status quo and their endless requirements for Step-forded skinny-minnie bodies and empty minds.
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