Sick

I've been sick a lot lately. This time my digestive system has definitely checked out for good. I had two leg infections followed by severe digestive problems, possibly sparked off by the antibiotics, but I have been feeling weak and tired a lot for the last couple of months with my mind dreading all the possibilities. Hey I never claimed this would be a "happy to be fat" blog.

What is scary, is the amount of food intake due to illness has been down to the floor, and well, I am still hugely fat. But then I've asked to be put in the lab for years for them to figure out what is wrong with me and to have the possibility of some medical hope. The last few doctors I've had, have admitted metabolic problems, but could you eat less then 400 calories a day with the most of the intake for the sake of blood sugars and maintain your weight for two weeks?

I suppose I could go to the hospital and say "Find out what is wrong with me" but my track record has not been the best when it comes to the medical world. I'm giving it three days or so, and if I am not better, I will go over there. At least there won't be as much life-risking cold to deal with. There were times, that being able to keep pills down and water was the only line keeping me from going in. At least I am not throwing up as much and the tear-inducing bowel pain is over with from what I can tell.

Hey I don't need weight loss surgery, I'm puking just as much as one of them!

Isn't that what they do to fat people make you sick on purpose to become thin? Hey guys for me it's not working. My bowels do not work anymore. I suppose I should try and find another gastroenterologist, which I dread. Since I was still functional and bowel problems only intermittent 4 years ago, I went with the severe IBS diagnosis and did okay trying to avoid foods I was allergic to. During this time I sought to outrule celiac and went on a gluten free diet and that did not work. Overall I only got sick once a month for a day or two. With all the medications I am on and food allergies, I thought I could handle it. I had a lot of normal days.

I hate food. Most of it is gross. I dread eating. I don't want to eat today. I wish I could eat NOTHING and not end up on the floor. The grocery store is full of cheese and dairy laden, processed to death crap. I live in a health food desert. Yes I am a fat woman with a digestive system that no longer works. What will happen? Will it turn me thin? Well it's not. And that is the strange thing about it all.

Sorry no "healthy and fat" words of encouragement. My advice, if you cross the 250lb mark and leave the plump and hearty but can still move a couch world, do what you can for your health. Don't end up like me. I am tired, scared and worn out.  I am praying a lot. To those like Marilyn Wann, I do not even exist. She will walk by the already dying in their scooters and tell the world how great it is to be fat. What a joke!

This body was a run away freight train from the depths of Hades from the start. I have fought to stay alive all these years, but now I am tired. Does that make sense?

Now I have to dig up 20 bucks somewhere for some probotics, I can afford in a last gasp hope to at least get through the week.  Yeah they have succeeded in destroying people's bowels with their crap food and GMOs. I hope it's not cancer. I can't survive surgery and I do not have the options that normal people have, remember. Well at least I have the strength left to post this.

Ok my doctor just called me, thank goodness, he told me there is a flu epidemic going on in my area and I told him, how I almost ended up in the hospital from throwing up. He thinks the antibiotic I was on and am now off of, caused my intestinal and digestive havoc. I checked my sugar while he was on the phone, it was 144. [probably on rebound since I've been up for three hours and haven't eaten anything or taken any pills] He also told me that Meformin can cause some of the bowel problems. He is a nice guy so glad I was able to talk to him.


Update 1/25: It's kidney stones and they can create havoc with the digestive system too including vomiting and more. The doctors are running more tests, I had them pass two days in a row and analyzing the stones at the lab.