Many who never gone through this, all of this is unfathomable to them. I think even when non-ACONs, read this blog some may simply find it impossible to believe. Many people with normal loving families simply cannot conceive of family members treating others this way. Much of the slander is done under false "concern". Smakintosh is right that narcissists target people who are closest to them for destruction and yes it takes decades. While some narcissists physically abuse, often their language is enough, their words and even subtle body language. Yes the most heinous abuse is spiritual abuse where soul murder is their intent.
It must have been exhausting for my mother to create such a tapestry of BS and keep it all straight. Maybe that's why they chug along and don't ever back down. Backing off gives the target enough time to get their bearings and we/they might fight back. My mother said stuff that didn't make sense after a while. By the time I realize the effort she was willing to go to to discredit us. The less motivated I became to defy her and engage in the two hour argument that was sure to come if I called her on the obvious lack of continuity in her stories.
I know, how do they keep track of all their lies? Mine would tune you out and spoke very little so maybe this was part of keeping things more simple. Yes one gets less motivated knowing this is someone who will never back down or admit to anything. This can be one of the most scary thing about them. No introspection or self analysis whatsoever.
My mother could create a situation where she would make up what so and so said, and it was believable, or you wouldn't argue with her, you'll just start distrusting that other person. Or if you did not believe mother, and trusted and like that other person anyway, you will pay.
When I refused to take her to her doctor's appt 4 hours early, she would like to get there and just sit there. You know the doctor could call her in early. I had no time in those days, and she would call and tell people that I refused to take her to her doctors appt. So an aunt would show up at my door, offering to take her and give me dirty looks, for refusing mother. I was a single working mother, I was a tramp too.
It must have been exhausting for my mother to create such a tapestry of BS and keep it all straight. Maybe that's why they chug along and don't ever back down. Backing off gives the target enough time to get their bearings and we/they might fight back. My mother said stuff that didn't make sense after a while. By the time I realize the effort she was willing to go to to discredit us. The less motivated I became to defy her and engage in the two hour argument that was sure to come if I called her on the obvious lack of continuity in her stories.
ReplyDeleteI know, how do they keep track of all their lies? Mine would tune you out and spoke very little so maybe this was part of keeping things more simple. Yes one gets less motivated knowing this is someone who will never back down or admit to anything. This can be one of the most scary thing about them. No introspection or self analysis whatsoever.
DeleteMy mother could create a situation where she would make up what so and so said, and it was believable, or you wouldn't argue with her, you'll just start distrusting that other person. Or if you did not believe mother, and trusted and like that other person anyway, you will pay.
ReplyDeleteWhen I refused to take her to her doctor's appt 4 hours early, she would like to get there and just sit there. You know the doctor could call her in early. I had no time in those days, and she would call and tell people that I refused to take her to her doctors appt. So an aunt would show up at my door, offering to take her and give me dirty looks, for refusing mother. I was a single working mother, I was a tramp too.
I'm so glad I got rid of everyone.