Read everyday? I should be a billionaire by that measure. :p
I always find these to be memes for the plebes since the narcissists in our society are the ones sadly rising to the top and they don't do things like continuously learn or compliment very often. I imagined a work world run like an academic seminar and well that expectation burned me a bit when I was young.
One part of growing up is realizing how the world really works.
Now don't get me wrong these are all good things to do on the green side.
We should all define success via God and what we desire too, not what society imposes. Sometimes I run into people who are overly goal conscious, as if life is nothing but a measuring contest and I find myself weary around them. I have set some goals and made them like having a DIY art show or even my first college degree, but what happens when your body diverts them. Even this blog was a "goal" at one point but I fear the life as a constant contest and competition thing is wearing more then me out.
The meme has the societal "keeping sweet" demands, never criticize, nope not even when your boss comes in drunk to work, I guess and the whole "entitlement" thing has been used to shame young people and others into accepting diminished economic futures sponsored by the greedy with the growing inability to make an income that will actually support them. Sometimes I want to vomit hearing well situated types going on about how young millennials are "entitled" when the millennial is 27 years old without even a job that will pay basic rent and said person has been a homeowner and had a family since their early 20s. Ah they've done a number with that one especially the "right wing" and they just don't use it on some kid who really may be irresponsible and drugging and partying his way through life.
Thank you for posting this successful vs unsuccessful people showing statement or words some programs or employers used when they created narcs versus words narcs describe non-narc people. It's disturbing and I have been praying that this kind of character training program and reward system for narcs will end sooner than later.
ReplyDeleteLike for example the words that programs and employees used when they created narcs in programs are:
thick-skinned, strong, confidence, resilient, vigor, good-looking, sharp, presentable, clean, congenial, poised, calm, collect, clean, emotionally stable, emotionally mature, strength, happy with their live, positive, realistic, etc
Narcs are great at:
job interviews, making decisions that hurt others without feeling guilty, looking strong, persuading others, making themselves looking good, winning, accepting of fates and their lots in life, ability to lean on to themselves rather than religious and supernatural powers, ability to think abstractedly and concretely, willingness to hurt others with their decisions that are best for business and organizations, hustling, making money, and being ruthless, and being emotionally stabled.
Narcs describe real people as:
lack of self-confidence, insecure, insanitary, dirty, loud, unpoised, weird, uncouth, unclean, unprofessional, emotionally unstable, too rebellious, too religious, too dependent, weak-minded, depressing, unsuccessful, lazy, poor presentation, agitated, unrealistic, stuck in the past, fear of changes, unwilling to accept change, not accepting their lots in life, depending on religion and anger, ignorant, unforgiving, losers.
Thank you for your comments anon. I agree different words were used for different people. I think of the narcs also using phrases like "professionals" where being cold, hard and clinical is put first. Sure one does not want a surgeon boo-hooing over the surgery table but this has been pushed now in every place where cold clinicalism is pushed. I have done best with doctors of some warmth who care about me staying alive.
ReplyDeleteThe powers that be in society are working to turn people into narcissists across the board, subtle and not so subtle. All the words you have posted is what they value, notice it's all about appearances and being "on top". It's all about being "winners".
Yes the narcs will label people as "losers", "not accepting their lot in life", "too complaining", "how dare you complain?", push phony "team work", or total "obedience" or "submission to the system", and will put people down for being poor and not owning the right things or being "clean or neat" enough. The main thing is to treat you like an underling and make other people feel like they are nothing.
Having any "feelings", being too soft, having nostalgia, or "caring", or relaxation or sweetness, or loyalty or staying power, are all foreign to the narcissists. Success is to be granted now only to the most hard and cold people.
Yes real people have been called those things, I definitely have had much of that list foisted on me. Lack a good "appearance" and narc like saving face and many go to town on you.
They don't want anyone whose real anymore.
Love your comment anon 1.
ReplyDeleteHow come soft and sensitive types are always the ones to have to change. Why don't hard and insensitive types have to. Oh, I forgot, most of them can't..They're to narcissistic.
Its funny we are the ones worrying about having to change to please others. I am working on tossing that stuff out. Why should I worry, cry and the rest when the narcs don't care. I don't want to be like them of course but no longer dancing for the lot of them.
DeleteIts funny we are the ones worrying about having to change to please others. I am working on tossing that stuff out. Why should I worry, cry and the rest when the narcs don't care. I don't want to be like them of course but no longer dancing for the lot of them.
Delete"I imagined a work world run like an academic seminar and well that expectation burned me a bit when I was young." <--I think this is where the trap starts. They keep young people in an institutional life with an imposed structure and reward system, then just once you've learned to define success and satisfaction in terms of seminars, grades, projects, you get spat out and none of it matters any more. I studied history and philosophy; I see others like me, plus English and arts students, struggling and I think the worst thing we did to ourselves was internalise this system that is NEVER going to reward us. The best thing I did was get out and learn a few useful, helpful skills. As well as making a living, I help a lot more people than I did when I was holding forth in academic seminars.
ReplyDeleteAnd god, if you think reading books and being polite is going to make you "successful", look around some.
Yes school fools so many doesn't it. An imposed structure of grades, study hard and show some smarts and get rewarded. Well being "too smart" in the work world gets you enemies and if you don't conform watch out. I agree I internalized a system that never was going to reward us. Even becoming a teacher, that is more about the personality and connections more then the grades and knowledge. I wish I had been able to learn more useful helpful skills--learning by doing and seeing, but those opportunities seem to be rare, I hate when people pressure their kids to get "good grades" like "good grades" matter. Let them socialize that will bring more "success".
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