Sunday, April 9, 2017
If You Have Been Told You are Too Sensitive
I realized having feelings is a good thing, and all the people who tried to shame me for being emotional and having feelings, were the ones who were wrong. [the forgiveness part sounds good but be careful of false forgiveness with narcissists] This shift in thinking helped me a lot. I never wanted to be one of those cold "insensitive" people. Could I ever be? Who wants to be them? They can be buried in a pile of money and have good health and enjoy nothing because their hearts have become frozen. I posted this video on my Facebook account and one friend wrote this,"The meek shall inherit the earth. Those without feelings will reap what they sow.". I definitely agree!
My mother alternated between why are you mad at ME? To I am sorry what I said made YOU angry. Like it was all my fault.
ReplyDeleteWow, I heard the same exact sentences. I always heard the fake apology, "I am sorry YOU feel that way" from the narcs and their hanger ons. They had no feelings so I was constantly shamed for mine and when they unloaded their crap I was always in the wrong, and that's how they worked their game. Yeah with narcs someone else is always at fault.
DeleteI was told I was "too sensitive" for being upset at the shitty way I was being treated. My eldest sister in particular would go out of her way to torment me and upset me and then tell our mother I was over sensitive and spoiled.
ReplyDeleteI think this happens a lot, they treat you like dirt and then get angry when you react because you are supposed to suffer in silence and not draw attention to their wrongdoings.
Yes that always happened to me. They had this way of turning our emotions against us. They never took responsibility or ever apologized, that is impossible for narcs. Yes I relate to what your eldest sister did. They want smiling automatons to do their bidding who never express one "negative" emotion. It's to keep them under cover I agree.
DeleteAfter a few years I would preface my comments around my ex by saying Here's what I think. And Lisa will correct me if I am wrong!
ReplyDeleteI am sure she always thought you were wrong too. Every damn thing I said around my narc family I was the one in the wrong. It is good you turned it into a joke, kind of took some of her power away that way.
DeleteI think it was Anna V who wrote down that narcs only have 2 feelings, anger and fear. Jealousy as a close third but that is just a combination of the other 2. I can't imagine just living my whole life like that, and even choosing it that way, saying it is preferable.
ReplyDeleteIt makes sense, their emotional list is pretty limited, anger, fear, and maybe "neutral" plotting and planning but probably a level of anger fuels all that. I am not sure what to call "glee" or when they smirk like Cheshire Cats over screwing someone over. I can't imagine living like that either.
DeleteIts just that they got their fix, like heroin.
DeleteSeriously too they got high off making us and others suffer. I think they discover the "power" of being an a$$hole narc without a conscience and they enjoy what they do and laugh inside at people falling over themselves.
DeleteI found out I had a nasty narc friend last week and got rid of her. I noticed several comments coming out of my other friend's lips:
ReplyDelete1. "Feeling sorry for yourself..." or "I will not feel sorry for you...."
2. Projection claim that I abused a narc because I refused to apologize to her for speaking up after she sent me an ultimate narcish text message.
3. A friend regretted telling me that a narc is coming to the Women's group meeting because I cancelled a plan to go there this week. She asked me if she did not tell me and I come in only to see a narc, if I would have left, I said "Yes."
I warned people who knows a narc ex-friend that she will engage in deceptive smear campaign against me and she will fool them.
Narcs pass on their lack of empathy like a virus. I would be firm with this friend, and tell her why would you stay friends with someone who has abused another friend? Oh it is upsetting isn't it. I would refuse apologies to narcs. I am glad you warned of the smear campaigns. It's terrible how one narc can destroy so many relationships. :(
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