Monday, April 22, 2019
The Turpin Parents Sentenced to 25 Years to Life
The Turpin parents have been sentenced to 25 Years to Life. Even those monsters pleaded guilty given the stack of evidence against them including their own children's journals. One thing I worry about though, is I saw how the children all focused on "forgiving" their parents and I find myself worried they have bad therapists who are not warning them about narcissism, sociopathy or no contact. The "forgiveness and reconciliation" messages were the ones therapists gave many an ACON putting an end to their earlier no-contact decisions. A few of the children seem fully enmeshed in Stockholm Syndrome. Many ACONS can see Stockholm Syndrome in action that lasts life long in siblings and other relatives.
Sadly with the children being pressured to "forgive" their parents, and the mother doing her fake apology, we are seeing the ever present pressure put on victims to "forgive and forget" rather then the evil to fully repent. The young are still taught to elevate even the most evil parents. The realities of sociopathy are denied these children even adult children. I understand them being given the tools to move on, and get new lives, but that part worries me.
I find myself thinking no one is warning them of the realities of abusers, and those monsters will wheedle back into their lives,once they get out of prison, so Jane Doe Turpin at 50 years old will have Mommy return to make her life hell in her 70s. If "forgiveness" instead of self empowerment and learning to own emotions is taught, I find myself thinking these kids could be re-offended against as visitation is granted back with their parents. Ever see the movie White Oleander about a sociopathic mother and her daughter? She had visits with her and plenty of mind screws and emotional abuse can be unloaded on children even if a parent is in prison. These two have the fundamentalist Christian guilt and control toolbox to use at their disposal too.
I know my own post questioning "forgive and forget" was very controversial on this blog. This is a perfect example of what I was talking about. I get tired of this society enabling abusers this way and teaching victims this nonsense. I know this may be a controversial opinion, as abuse victims are focused on to FORGIVE more then the offenders to repent, or the realities of people with no consciences taught.
One child said to the parents:
"“Sometimes I still have nightmares of things that happened such as my siblings being chained up and beaten,” Joshua Turpin, 27, said as he slouched over a lectern, wearing a tie and jeans. “I love my parents and I have forgiven them for much of what they did.”
What worries me here, is not that this young adult may recede into anger or thoughts of revenge and yes those should be avoided, but that he has been taught "forgive and forget" to the point there is a denial of WHO his parents really are. These are messages that can leave even the abused young adults vulnerable in their future, to other abusers to the idea that all human beings can even love.
While our justice system still attempts to get some of a job done to protect people from the violent or those without conscience, what are these young adults and children being taught about their abuse? Why is the focus on their forgiveness?
I know my article asking, "Why Did She Apologize to Her Serial Killer Father?" was very controversial. Many people thought it horrible that I was writing against forgiveness but can one truly forgive someone who is not sorry, who feels no love? People who literally starved and chained up their children for YEARS are without conscience. This young adult male needs to be taught empowerment, not more submission and making "nice" with parents who destroyed even his early adult life. Also where will those angry feelings go? They have to have some anger inside, but this is not admitted.
As I wrote in that other article, we see this happen time and time again:
The evil are empowered on multiple levels in this society. Those who enact the worse crimes who don't have a sorry bone in their bodies, are excused and empowered while their victims or families of their victims are told to "forgive". I understand moving forward from abusers, but why are are their victims told over and over to suppress all emotions, to "forgive" and to give them place after place? This is especially strong in some religious circles.
I hope the Turpin children and adult children can truly move on. This was a horrifying case of the worse abuse exposed for years. They will need years of therapy to overcome the brainwashing by their religious parents and exposure to the outside world to learn more reality. Sadly they are vulnerable dependent on the state and others for financial survival. Other dynamics they may have to deal with are siblings identifying with the abusers or remaining in denial, or being used and abused as charity cases and projects or for "study". They have a lot of new information to process even from their former isolation from the world. I hope they are empowered enough as the years pass by that they do not remain vulnerable to being exploited again by the parents, or relatives from the same toxic family system.
13 Siblings Held Captive By Abusive Parents
I grew up an abused child myself. I've gotten those messages too. I used to get people urging me to get back together with my mom.
ReplyDeleteI was no-contact with my entire family for some 25 years. Then I decided it was time to contact family. Not my abusive mom, but the other relatives who treated me well. When Grandpa learned I was back, alive and well, the first and biggest thing he cared about was "wouldn't it be great if you and your Mom got back together again?!?".
No. It wouldn't. The very prospect that my relatives would try to do just that is precisely why I stayed no contact for so long. Mom put me through absolute hell, which damaged me a lot. there is no way I'm ever giving anyone a chance to start that stuff up all over again. No. Absolutely no.
I went no contact again, this time for good.
It's unfortunate. My grandfather is otherwise a really nice, sweet, gentle man. He just has this blind spot when it comes to my Mom. She'll always be his sweet little girl. She's very good at hiding the abusive side. Most abusers are. It's how they stay out of jail. He can't believe she'd ever be abusive. He doesn't understand why I don't want to meet with her. He never will.
In my youth I've thought a great deal about this "forgiveness" stuff.
I think the original intent of "forgiveness" was to encourage you to move past it, to move on, to a new, better life and happier thoughts. Not to spend the rest of your life dwelling on the past and living in anger and pain every time you think about the abuse. After a while, there comes a time when, for further personal growth, you need to let it all go, as much as possible. When you're ready, not before. This to me still seems a good thing.
But having a reunion with abusers...that's a whole different matter entirely. Honestly...that's opening yourself up to all kinds of further hell.
There is an episode from "M*A*S*H". titled "Identity Crisis".
A soldier, Mullen, came in. Father Mulcahy comes to comfort him, and is shocked to learn the soldier is catholic, knows the confession ritual, and is using a stolen identity of a dead soldier. Mullen asks for forgiveness, but has no intention of publicizing his true identity, because he sees this as his ticket home. This means there are parents stateside who don't know their son is dead.
Mullen: "Forgive me father, for I have sinned".
Mulcahy: (after some thought) "...I cannot absolve you. There is no repentence."
I thought that very profound.
For there to be forgiveness, there must first be acknowledgement of wrongdoing, and true repentence (not pretend fake repentence).
Do I forgive my Mom? Neither "yes" nor "no" feels like the right answer.
If I say "yes", than that implies everything's all okay, and I'm happy to socialize with her again. No. It's not okay. And I don't want her back in my life again, ever.
If I say "no", that implies I'm still mad at her, and living my life in anger and pain and not letting go of the past. That's not true for me, either.
What do I feel towards my Mom? Mostly nothing. She's a figure from a very very distant past.
I don't wish her ill. I don't want revenge. I don't want to punish her. I don't want to try to "reform" her (not possible, anyway). I just want her gone.
I honestly hope she's happy. I don't wish her ill.
I just want to move on, and live in peace and serenity the rest of my life. And I know that's not possible if Mom's in my life.
People having me in their life is a privilege, not a right. They have to earn that privilege, by treating me well. In return, I try my best to treat them equally well, with dignity, respect, and compassion. And if they refuse, bye-bye.
No one has the right to abuse another. No one has the right to forgiveness. Forgiveness has to be earned.
Thanks anon for your words on forgivness. Sadly abusers put up a front that fools many. They treat OTHER people different from their scapegoats and ones they abuse. I believe forgiveness is to be earned too. What use is there in forgiving someone with no conscience or has no remorse? All it does is open the door to be re-offended against. I like what you have to say about people being in your life is a privilege, definitely agree. We don't have to stay around forgiving people that constantly hurt us, that is a path to destruction.
Deletehonestly, peep, I thought since you claim you are an ACORN or ACON or whatever the secret code is, that you'd do your research.
ReplyDeletePlease visit Jaycee Duggard's charity website, look up her youtube videos, read her books. She is trying VERY hard to change the thinking regarding Stockholm Syndrome. IT DOES NOT EXIST. I would think Ms. Duggard would know plenty about that term and so perhaps we all should listen to her and stop using that term. Stockholm Syndrome does NOT exist.
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/jaycee-lee-dugard/6509828/Jaycee-Lee-Dugard-showed-signs-of-Stockholm-syndrome.html
DeleteIf you can't even figure out what an ACON is this long in the game, give it up, but I know you are being rude just for the sake of it. I took down your other nasty comment. It's weird how creeps and trolls always take up for abusers. Funny how you are defending the Turpins even, but I guess all you creeps identify with one another.
DeleteListen to a real troll....Nope!
ReplyDeleteListen to a real troll....Nope!
ReplyDeleteYeah the ACORN thing kind of gives it away!
DeletePeeps, you're right on the money as always. My feelings exactly.
ReplyDeleteI was horrified to read that those poor horribly damaged stunted ill used people, aka children of the dammed, wanted to see their parents again and were worried that they might not. Do they have brain damage/head trauma as results of starvation and prolonged abuse? It was mentioned in the news that they were so very thin, they looked like teenagers but were adults. Decades of being chained up and fed frozen burritos? They claim, our mother didn't want to use the chains and it was so they didn't eat sugar. WTF? They tried to make a monster look good. That's how twisted and sick they are from the abuse.
It's the head games that are most lethal and criminal. The children were kept in isolation and away from any one who could help them. I hope they come into contact with other abuse survivors that can help them.
My concern is that the brothers and sisters will turn as a unified group against the brave 17 year old sister who climbed out the window, hid an old cell phone and ran for help.
People who have normal lives can not comprehend the level of hell when one is held in captivity by a destructive parent or parents. - Children are rendered captive by their condition of dependency from Chapter 4, Captivity, Judith Herman Trauma and Recovery.
These siblings might see the sister who ran for help, as the one who destroyed their family, which my siblings hold me responsible for. I've gotten notes from two siblings giving vague blanket apologies to me and then one card from the youngest brother saying he would have done things differently if he were an older sibling and not run from our parents.
I had no choice but to run for my life. It was the family or me, literally my life. If I could have hung around and been a flying monkey, I would have. That's how strong the pull of family and roots are. Yes, I admit I would have endured the verbal and physical abuse for the minuscule crumbs of what they call love. But even crumbs were denied me. It wasn't allowed.
What mystifies me is how my siblings act like they have no idea why I've been NC for this long. One sibling writes a cringe worthy sentence. Sometimes I wonder what stories the main narc, mother, has cooked up and do they believe those lies?
or they convince themselves to believe them or maybe my siblings just don't give a shit about me at all.
For her recovery to wellness, the hero, the 17 year old girl, well she's what? 19 or 20 years old now? She may have to detach and walk away from her siblings.
Thanks anon. Thanks for your support for this article. I've had the spammers and trollers going nuts over this article. I think some people don't like when one takes on abusers and their enabling in this evil society.
DeleteI want to puke too like you with everyone fawning over these abusers and saying "Oh no these children may not get to see their parents again" [yeah give me a break], I think Ma and Pa Turpin should never be able to see any of their kids again, and their kids by all therapists should be instructed to stay away for life!
I think the kids have Stockholm Syndrome definitely and well some may be very mentally delayed from their malnutrition, I don't know to what extent or if any of them suffer from that but it is a possibility.
I can tell some of them are still trapped in the head games and remain programmed. Sadly the "forgive and forget" people won't do much to break them out of that. I hope some therapists ARE working on it for their sake, but with all the mixed messages of forgiveness instead of a direct, "STAY AWAY FROM THE SOCIOPATHS WHO TRIED TO KILL YOU" with their limited educations and twisted upbringings, this is going to get complicated.
I hope they can find other abuse survivors to give them the real deal. I never woke up until I found blogs by ACONs, House of Mirrors and Narcissists Suck. I had my fill by then of the forgive and step aside and being told to bow before my abusers, all it did was keep me in the same trap.
Like you I can see the siblings especially with the pressure from the forgive and forget set to keep or have the parents in their lives, all detaching from and scapegoating the brave sister and blaming her for the parents going to prison. One already knows those sociopaths if they are writing letters or having any correspondence with their kids and adult kids will be playing divide and conquer games.
I can definitely see them blaming her. I had my siblings come against me, when ever I stood against my parents or stood up against the abuse, they all even defending times when they were being abused themselves. just look at my brother defending my mother in his 50s, I watched him get his ass beat down, and she insulted him almost every time I talked to her on the phone to the very day I walked away, but that's who he will take up for. I've had enough. It was his decision not believe me. Sadly I do think this girl will face immense hardships. Will the "forgive and forget" set warn her, doubtful.
Sorry to hear your brothers, came against you too. I am glad you ran for your life. I even talked to my brother once about my parents locking us when we were in our rooms when I was young, and he defended it, like we were brats and needed some free time. Some of the brainwashing remains intact for life.
Yeah I know the pull of family and roots is strong. I think this is why so many succumb. I am glad you got out. Oh trust me they are cooking up stories, I know some have been told about my NC. I am far enough in, I hope they will just forget I exist. You have to know though as the years past by, if your name ever comes up, they will concoct whatever tales make them look good. Same for these Turpins, 20 years hence, they will lie and say, "Oh we never locked you up with chains'" Any kids will be gaslighted to death.
Oh your siblings may know the truth, but they find it easier to believe the lies or appear as if they do. There's a lot of cowardice around narcs.
Mother Turpin, no mother of the year award for you. I'm only saying because tomorrow is that dreaded day for me, Mother's Day. I try to ignore it but it still hurts like hell. I have to remind myself it will be midnight and the dam day done already.
ReplyDeleteYeah egg donor Turpin. Proof that fertility has nothing guiding it but brute biology because otherwise why would such a monster be able to breed so often? yeah hang in there for mother's day. I just keep to myself that day. I have to stay off Faecbook, I don't even go to UU church on Mother's Day because of mentioning of mothers and motherhood though UU's won't do fecundity parades like my other churches and will mention I am sure childless people mothering. I otherwise treat it as just another day but will be relieved when it is over. Hope you get through okay.
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