Monday, August 26, 2019
Neurodiversity
This is a speech I did on neurodiversity at my UU church, so it's written a little bit different. The more people can be educated about Aspergers, the better off we all will be. I did make the decision to come out as an Aspie but had already been doing that in my community in certain safe places for years like my disability group and past self help group. I am also out of the Aspie closet on Facebook.
The world of high functioning autism or what used to be known as Aspergers before the DMS changed the diagnosis to just being on the autistic spectrum is a very different place to be. The world has it's popular and stereotypical views of the Aspie or higher functioning person with autism. People know about famous Aspies like Dan Ackroyd and Tim Burton. They see Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory, or Young Sheldon on his own spin-off show, and read about Lisbeth Salander in the book, "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"
When I was in my early 30s I found out I was on the spectrum, like many women with Aspergers who suffered for years with misdiagnosis, it was later figured out girls present Aspergers in a different way then boys. For me finding out about being on the spectrum, it was a place of answers and of understanding my differences.
I will be focusing on the world of those who are on the higher functioning end of the autistic spectrum. I know this is a whole other ballgame then severe autism. I used to substitute teach in special ed classrooms with autistic children who were totally non-verbal. Aspergers is by far a a more mild version on the spectrum where one is verbal but has problems with social cues, and communication. For many Aspies, while we have challenges, we also know it can bring gifts, Aspergers is basically having a different brain operating system.
The world has the popular view of the Aspie or higher functioning autistic, Some imagine Aspies in a certain way but don't understand the whole picture. One challenge for advancing neurodiversity is reaching across this gap.
I asked my fellow friends and acquaintances with Aspergers and those on the autistic spectrum for this reading: "In the interest of neurodiversity, what would you like those who are neurotypical to know about you for understanding and acceptance?" These answers will also reflect bits from conversations I've had over the years as well with Aspie friends and other sources:
1. First and foremost, neurodiversity doesn't "look" or "act" a certain way. Many people with autism and other neurological differences can "pass" as neurotypical. There are many successful people on the higher functioning end of autism and this includes college professors, teachers, writers, actors, artists and other professions.
2. Many Aspies have talents, and these include having deep hyper focus, observation skills, attention to detail and visual skills such as what Temple Grandin detailed in her movie and book. "Thinking in Pictures".
3. It is a lie that people with autism have no empathy. We have a harder time showing it and often it will show it differently, but often people on the spectrum can even have higher levels of empathy
We just have a harder time showing it in ways that neurotypicals can understand but the feelings are there. We are not robots. We suffer from the stereotype that all Aspie people are like Spock with no emotions and only following logic but remember even Spock was a very loyal friend to Captain Kirk.
Many of us may seem insensitive because we do not respond to difficult situations the same way neurotypicals do. In fact, many of us are extremely sensitive and sometimes in a state of shock, unable to react at all.
4. Please do not tell us if we are higher functioning and able to be employed or talk to people that we are not on the spectrum or that "we do not look autistic" or make jokes about “Ass-bergers” or using this condition as an excuse. Please listen and do not say things like "I have that too" or "I get like that too". These statements can be invalidating. When I feel like people won't understand or believe me, I shut down.
4. We have sensory issues, which are intense. Loud sounds, bright lights, annoying smells, feel painful to us. They may not bother you at all but for us they can be a problem. Some of us have auditory and visual processing disorders that affect our senses as well. Be sensitive to sensory needs we may have.
Increased anxiety and PTSD tend to be more common in the neurodiverse and require the same level of understanding as anyone else with these conditions.
5. Neurotypicals often communicate via subtext and inferences. [They often don't mean what they say] There's no subtext in my words. To survive in the world I am conditioned to search for subtext incessantly. It makes me paranoid at times. I super-dig talking to autistics because I can rest a little.
6. We have Spiky skills profiles: it's very important to recognize the strengths of autistic and other neurodivergent people, but at least as important to recognize the difficulties. Some of us can do math problems in our head or wonderful art projects but then find it hard to get the housework done or our stuff organized. Please respect our gifts and don't deny our opportunities to share them. Autism is {depending on the individual and their circumstances} a disability, and that's okay, we do need adjustments, as well as acceptance, if we are going to thrive.
7. We can get very pedantic about a subject we like. We can bore neurotypicals going into great detail about areas of interests. Most people on the higher end of the spectrum, have very passionate interests that bring a lot of joy to our lives. Some can turn those into their livelihoods but this talking too deeply about one topic can upset and bore some neurotypical people sometimes. Being analytical for us is a natural state of being.
8. Eye contact can be hard, please don’t force us to look at you
9. Being what is considered unusual/ quirky/atypical often negatively affects mental health. People don't understand us and can judge us rather harshly and this takes a toll.
10. It can sometimes really help to consciously explain to us some things that others just seem to "get."
11. Realize therapies and cures to suppress autistics characteristics can be harmful. We don't need cured or for others to be aware of us. What we need is for people to seek to understand us and why we do what we do. People who focus on cures and making autistic people conform, forget that our differences have brought much innovation, creativity and scientific and other discoveries to the world.
12. Aspies want relationships and friends same as everyone else. Some of us may be more comfortable with one on one interactions or texting rather then using the telephone.
13. I conform as much as I have to, to get by in the world, but I also live in my own quirky non-conforming world. If I am weird around you, it's because I am comfortable.
13. Not all Aspies are good at math, science and computers, some are of course but not all of us.
14. Having autism is like having too many tabs open on a computer.
I hope this list can help in understanding people on the higher functioning side of autism and to bring more understanding and acceptance in the interest in neurodiversity.
im finding it much harder to cope as i get older , 56 is a funny old age to find that your odd is now an "ism" but coming from a family that have been stimming for over a 150 years i have managed to trace through such gems as asylum records and jail files . Its amazing to find that once upon a time i would have been defined as an imbecile or a female hysteric ...an "ism " is something i can live with
ReplyDeleteWow did you find out they institutionalized other relatives? That happened in my lifetime in front of me. I wonder what they did to other generations but I only have gotten the family tree going. I found out some major family secrets via Ancestry. It did back up how much I was lied to. I think in days past, I would have been put away like I post about on this article:
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So yeah I get some horrors about what they may have done to female Aspies in the past. There's still some who never leave home even people at the level where they could have functioned if given any tools.
I find aging with Aspergers hard too, the expected conformity with age, is more. Hope that makes sense. You also in your 50s face the fact that your peer group leap frogged 100s of meters ahead of you.
my evil mother actually told the family that a relative had died years ago, she was in fact in a care home till a couple of years ago . then the authorities came looking for living relatives when she died because she had been left an awful lot of money from another ancient relative ...you couldnt make it up but the crap hit the fan when it came out that my granny was a bigamist and my mother couldnt get her hands on a penny ...couldnt happen to a nicer woman
DeleteThat's awful what your mother did to that relative ensuring she'd have no one and would be alone in the care home. Yeah some of will sink really low. That's funny that your grandmother turned out to be a bigamist, I am glad your mother did not profit off this woman's suffering and abandonment!
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