The Body Isn't Everything!

I see my body as a tool, it gets me across the room. It allows me to do things like pick up a paintbrush, or hold a book, or type on this computer. I feel sympathy for my body, in that it never had a chance. It lost the genetic lotto, with a father with multiple autoimmune disorders, get me thinking about my ear that went totally deaf, and my failing other one, well, I think something along the lines of "poor ears". My feelings for my own body are more akin to one's love for an old car, I hope it can keep running, and carrying me around, but it almost has stalled out completely a few times. One can consider all the work I've done for my body including fighting for my life as showing some care for it. But to love a body? To love a body would be like going outside and smooching my car. It is an odd concept.

Maybe on the spiritual level, I see things very differently, because of my particular religious beliefs, there is a difference between "flesh" and "spirit" and guess which one counts for more in my way of thinking? Real beauty comes via what is INSIDE, and this culture has changed that to be all about the SURFACE. You are more then a sassy fat woman in cute boots with nice hair, and great make up. Too many young girls especially are being taught that is everything important about them. Character, soul and spirit being shunted aside for fleeting looks, and women and men only valued for their price in the meat market.

Even here we end up in a dichotomy of those who are easy on the eyes vs. those who are not and fat is "ugly" to the prevailing culture. Why should we put first the scheme to "be physically beautiful" tied to body-love first? This is one message, I definitely get censored over in the size acceptance world. I often used to write how I hated the advanced promiscuity in the size acceptance world, the bowing to the fat admirers, and focus on the body above all else. What else would focus on one's body as their full identity lead to?

This is why as I wrote in another article on this blog, I find the idea of a "fat identity" appalling. The liberal academics can have it, but after all they lied to me during college and told me empowerment came from the would be "power-career", and hyper-feminism, all I know is I still ended up poor and figured out in my 30s, that this was a path to no-wheres-ville, and part of what lead this modern nation to social disconnection. Thankfully I was raised with more old school values, and met and married my husband without being dragged into the sex in the city life fat style and was attached by my mid 20s.

With everyone pursuing narcissistic empowerment, this is why you have things like citizens of this country, going hurrah for letting the uninsured die. And speaking of the "YOUR BODY IS EVERYTHING" message, on size acceptance blogs, I am seeing this odd word "embodiment" repeated over and over. Marilyn Wann used it in a recent comment. Many times it is used in the phrase "fat embodiment". What is this odd stuff? It almost sounds like ENTOMBMENT! Maybe that is what it really is. One's spirit can no longer soar above the body. The body is everything. You ARE your ADIPOSE CELLS in Size ACCEPTANCE!

It is something that they are oppressing the thin with too and now to see it so prevalent in size acceptance culture, it's not a good thing. There is this message of "You better love your body or else!" which has become part of the size acceptance "politics". Why don't more realize they've been taken for a ride, the fat women who are told 'love your body" and show the world what a "diva" you are, are as oppressed as thin women taught to analyze every body part for perfection but in an inverse matter. Even the self esteem politics get taken too far too. One's goodness is not rested on how good of a narcissist they can be, self-love can be taken too far!

I believe this world WANTS people to be obsessed with their bodies, so when I see so many in the size acceptance world insist that BODIES come first, it troubles me. Bodies fail, that is the nature of this world. Make it to old age, and the liver spots and severe health problems will come. People die of hideous illnesses that disfigure them. If someone has invested their life in LOVING their body first what will be left when they see it fail? What happens when old age comes? Even the physically "beautiful" lose that beauty, it is fleeting, see the end results, look at Elizabeth Taylor's end road, she lost all her looks. Develop the things inside and what counts.

Even here you see the fat acceptance folks, who insist on the same values, of "looks", on the "body" focusing on fat people joining the mainstream shallow parade, emptied eyed fashion magazines, of imposed "beauty" standards and conformity. While I enjoy some fashion and art, if it's kept in its rightful place, most of it is not.

And for those who see it fail, as I have spoken about on this blog, such people are hidden from the size acceptance world, the people put in the closet, because they are not pictures of vitality, robustness or fat "love your body" ethos that forces pecking orders of whose healthier and whose not. We are in a culture that is obsessed with the physical, the surface, the shallow. Size acceptance as I have stated goes with this status quo. I refuse it.

Dying to be the Fattest Woman on Dr Oz

I do not support Dr. Oz, disagree with lots of his medical information but he is right about what is happening here. Recently he featured Susanne Eman who wants to be the fattest woman on the world.

Watch all 4 parts of the video here.

I wonder if this person is being advanced, to help push the lies about fat people, that we are all overweight, and WANT to be that way. The whole tyranny of CHOICE thing placed upon fat people as a whole. This woman is doing a disservice to fat people all over the place , she will only guarantee folks like me will endear more shut down ears and disgust because people will think we are all like her!

Trust me, they would never choose someone like me to put on TV, but the extreme example of someone who is this mentally ill and is willfully pushing her own way into the the nursing home is sad. She will die on this trajectory and needs help. As I have written before, why are anorexics helped and not fat people? I begged to be put in the hospital during my weight gain to find out what was going on, but was ignored. I have noticed she has gotten a lot bigger since I last reported on her. Remember Donna Simpson is the other lady vying for this fattest woman in the world title.

Part 2, Dr. OZ brings up what she does for a living which is posting nude or near nude for a fetish website for fat admirers. That alone I could speak volumes about regarding the dysfunction and lack of morality but it's nothing like the real job, she seems to think it is. Dr. Oz speaks of the fat admirers being the second biggest fetish. Even this shows the debauchery in that world. Dr Oz speaks of feeders and "gainers" and educates his audience about the sick world of fat feederism and admiration. I have talked about that world here: "Chubby Chasers Give Me the Willies".

Part 3, they explore this world even more. "Is it right for us to judge"? Dr. Oz responds, "Is being 700lbs healthy?" I think the people who think Susanne Eman is *healthy* are dreaming. One can tell she is even short of breathe sitting there. She states "I do not have diabetes", [well that won't be for long.]

Part 4 shows her doctor not happy with her and her two children, the children think she will die. Too bad she thinks so little of them not to at least fight to stay alive. My friends and family know I have. Sometimes I wonder has this person just not had a scare yet? No time in the hospital almost dead of cellulitis? Maybe soon a wake-up call, will be coming, but she may not survive it. Her saying to him: "I do not have any health problems" is delusional. She also turns out to be diabetic, 156 fasting is diabetic. Her triglycerides are sky-high in the 500s. She even had a possible pulmonary embolism. Her oxygen dropping to 75% when walking is really really bad. They got worried when I walked outside and had it drop to 91%, acouple years ago, I didn't just walk across a room, I walked out of my apt and onto the front sidewalk which includes acouple of hallways and a foyer.

I am glad he is trying to wake her up but she shows the signs of mental illness, her odd smile and detached affect speak for themselves. "I don't feel like I am jeopardizing my health", she says to him. She sounds fully brainwashed by the extreme "fat is healthy" nonsense in the fat promotion world. He told her that it was very dangerous for her to get in an airplane. I can't fly nor would I ever risk it. The only statement I could give her some agreement is "They do not understand us" but her response "I'm fine with the way I am" is just more whistling by the grave yard.

She is 32 years old, right now youth is keeping her alive but barely. If you are throwing clots, you are on the edge of the abyss into death. When I was near 700lbs, walking got very close to ending for good--my youth is only what kept me able to propel myself, but I remember then, the constant infections, the not being able to breathe at all while laying down, the constant shortness of breath, and my breathing still stinks now but then it was bad, to the point there was at least a daily anxiety attack from feeling like I was smothering and I really WAS! Sometimes, to be frank, and this may be an admission that is odd on this blog, I am literally shocked to be still alive myself, but I prayed to God for more years, God keeps me alive, but I didn't choose this in my case. Multiple endocrine and other health problems co mingled to bring me into the super-obese world. I think that is why Susanne Eman upsets me so much. She makes a show of choosing her own death. She should be put in a hospital and treated the same as any other suicidal or other anorexic on a self destructive tear.

Fat People are Hungrier II

I have a sense of relief when my appetite is dead, and I can cut the food down without feeling pain. Remember this guy's great website on satiety disorders. Always wondered what happened to that guy. I realize I am dealing with oddly dipping and cresting feelings of hunger and otherwise disgust at food, when I feel disgusted or not that interested in food, have I entered the portals of how a thin person feels everyday? It is an interesting thing, after all they can cut food down to nothing, go on a diet, and feel no pain, while I am not ingesting the 20,000 calories a day everyone thinks I am, it leaves me to ponder things.

"Obesity and Brain Control"

The Scary Country

Support for GOP debate for letting the uninsured die.

I'll be frank, I am neither Democrat or Republican, the sooner Americans figure out both these parties are betraying this country, the better off we will all be. But it seems the party of 1984 and war with Oceania {cough the Middle East} is at it again, doing more brainwashing to get Americans to embrace letting the poor and uninsured die.

Of course they use the proverbial healthy 30 year old who had the CHOICE for health insurance, here is the facts, MOST people aren't being given a choice, or the spend downs are so high they are basically uninsured. The weasels were masterful with that one.

“Last night we got a disturbing view into the tea party’s extreme right-wing position on healthcare when members of the audience clapped and cheered the idea of letting someone without health insurance die,” Eddie Vale, communications director for the group Protect Your Care said in an e-mail. “Even worse, none of the Republican candidates on stage expressed a word of disapproval as the tea party audience literally clapped for blood. This was a spectacle one would have expected back in the gladiatorial combat of ancient Rome, not at a presidential debate.”

I went years without medical insurance, it did not do me any favors, in my case it was not a choice, none of my jobs offered it. Even with a full-time job later, the spend down was a $1,000 dollars meaning I had to pay the first $1,000 of ANY medical costs so the insurance was nearly useless. In fact one heart problem I now have is due to having my thyroid tests delayed, I still remember the day, a doctor refused me thyroid testing because I did not have the $500.00 up front this was before I found the pro-bono endocrinologist. If these leaders are so successful at getting people to blame the young, down and out and poor instead of those who have greedily outsourced all the jobs and taken billions in bail-outs, that's scary.

America used to be different in that it took care of it's own. It didn't believe in starving urchins in the street anymore. Well it seems to be different. Both sides are working against the little guy. I'll never forget they put ending disability on the table just a couple months ago, and that time it was OBAMA.

"Doesn't Anyone Care"?

"Obama Doesn't Care If The Disabled [Fat or Not] and Old Die in The Gutter"

If anyone is putting their finger in the air, to sniff which way the wind is going in America, it's looking very scary and especially for those with disabilities and health problems. Think they'll care about some 500lb woman? I know what it is like to be sick with no medicine and treatment, those days stayed with me. For those who love these politicians any of them, ask yourself why?, and stop being brainwashed by them!

Giant Feet Aren't So Bad If You Need Them!

I wear size 13 shoes.

That is not a women's size, that is in MEN'S. [with a E or triple EEE width]

I have not been able to wear women's shoes for years. When I was midsized, I could get by with some size 12 shoes from Pay-Less but they were tight. The last few years, I have worn men's clogs and sandals, but size 13 shoes even in men's are rare among all the size 9 and 10s.

They simply do not make shoes my size, there are a few speciality catalogues, where you can get very large shoes, but be prepared to pay top dollar.

My Mom is getting me size 13 leather clogs for my birthday which is very nice....I definitely need them.

I sometimes wonder why my feet are so much larger then normal women, why no hats ever fit my head. I guess it's good the feet were bigger, I wouldn't want to be supporting all this weight on size 5 feet! In my case it worked out!

The Size Acceptance Ideologue's List of Rules

I know some here probably think I give size acceptance too hard of a time. I do not regret what I have written. I wish it had truly been a movement and gathering place for obese people for support and help, in my opinion if it had truly been a movement for the fat, instead of just using the fat to advance social programming agendas, all tied to the liberal side of the right/left paradigms [ever wonder why just about every size activist is an extreme liberal?], there would be real research to help obese people, and demands against all the garbage that isn't working. As I have said size acceptance has become the enabler to the abusive fat hating society. The more they tell us fat people are responsible and at fault, for their own conditions and are fat due to failed diets, will power and more, the more size acceptance in their praise and promotion of life altering adipose tissue serves more as the enablers to all the lies. Where does that get anyone? Choose your side....[well I said forget it!] Between the weight loss gurus, who offer nothing that really works, to the sociopath agitators like the Bigger Fatter Blog guy who posts nasty pictures to the extreme hyper fat activists, fat people do not have much to go on anymore. Well I'm sick of all their lies!

Here is a list of the size acceptance rules out there. Yes I know there are some exceptions, and admit speaking in generalities. Having broken many of these, I have found myself banned at many a size acceptance website. Even trying to get traffic up here, is difficult, because with the exception of a few blogs, censorship is heavy in the size acceptance world. This blog gets removed fast!

1.Never admit any pain when it comes to obesity.

Hey we know this is NOT this is not allowed. As I have shared on this blog, I am even having comments ERASED off size acceptance blogs. Sharing nitty gritty "hard" stuff about being fat especially among mid-sized and healthy brethern is not permitted. When it comes to the ultra-fat, nursing homes, loss of mobility and other problems are to be rapidly hidden behind closed doors.

2. You must love your fat no matter what it does to you. You must tell the world celebrate fat.

Obviously I am failing at that one. I won't tell any of you celebrate fat and by the way, I hate the diets and all the nonsense too, but telling people to love their fat is like telling an amputee victim to love their stump or a deaf person to love their non-working ears. To me, its a cop out, running from the diet mongers does not translate to lying to the world and saying being over 500lbs is great! Staying alive to me comes before groveling for anyone's acceptance.

3. You must be an extreme liberal. [hey I have noticed that there doesn't seem to be many Fox news watchers and people against Obama in the size acceptance camp. By the way I can't stand Fox news and am not a Republican either myself. There are also "progressives" who are more independent minded, of course. Why are size acceptance circles overall far more liberal and the kind of liberals who still love Obama even though he has continued all of Bush's wars and policies? I think this probably is because those against size discrimination and want to codify it, still believe the government can end size discrimination via "rule of law". I find that rather dubious, your boss may know if he calls you "fatty" at work, in certain areas you probably can sue him, but if you apply for a job, and aren't hired because you are fat, try proving it! More government power and intervention with fat people means fat camps one day, and having your BMI tracked, so wake up people!

4. You must defend everything fat related, even the woman that wants to be the fattest woman in the world and yes I have seen that done on a variety of size acceptance blogs.

5. Do not question the status quo. No one in size acceptance is questioning the inner reasons why people are growing fatter and why the obesity epidemic is out of control refusing to see the profit that is attached. Things like GMO and adulterated food remain off the radar as well as the pool of toxins we are all swimming in. Very few are questioning the corporate and other interests that are forwarding the obesity epidemic.

6. BODIES come before mind, souls, etc. I have noticed this in size acceptance for years, it is a growing trend in this world, as a whole, a shallowness, a denial of character where the fat activists become just as looks obsessed as their thin sisters. Otherwise why are the academics promoting nonsense such as "fat identity"? My whole life has been trying to get the morally deficient to see beyond the fat.

See: "Thought Crime and Size Acceptance, Ideologues and The Big Brush-Off"

"Fat and Class Prejudice"

"Fat and Class Prejudice"

Think about what I wrote about the Pluggers...poorer equals fatter in American society. Wealthier people can afford better food, gyms, more activity, and better health care. I believe the class markers are growing even more severe now, living in an affluent area, as a fat person on it's fringes, it is obvious, being thin comes far easier to the richer classes.