I saw this [see the post below] today written on Social Media. It's crazy. The lack of empathy and understanding is extreme.
I just wrote an article about how too many of the estranged parents do not understand or care about the economic suffering of their adult children and how this has created a giant chasm. This is one reason families are dividing. Let this display be evidence for what that article was stating.
The Demise of the American Family 3: The Economic Chasm is Causing the Estrangement Too.
I wrote for years about how I was economically divided from my family. It is a known fact disability will bring poverty to one's life. This display horrified me, the whole attitude here seems to be "I gave you money and you should be thankful and put up with my abuse, and put downs because you're a failure anyway!" Go on and read with the horror you should be feeling. And these people wonder why their adult kids just cleared out? Some like me decided no contact was better even if that meant homelessness if they had to be looked down on for the rest of their lives.
Maybe the estranged adult child got sick of being the worm, with parents who never could imagine their suffering. Notice they think the 30 year old wants to be home and dependent, that is farthest from the truth in most cases! Are there irresponsible people? Sure, but most want to be able to make a living. Do they not realize the swathe of destruction the economy has done to young people? Most people desire economic viability and independence.
We are seeing entire generations being wiped out and denied adult basics, milestones and being able to build lives, but with the brainwashing from the media about "entitlement", this has only worsened. People do not understand the human cost here. We have people now who are not finding any place in society where there is total disaffection. They cannot support themselves and that is a sign of a society that has utterly failed. When you set up society for your young people to be worse off, and not able to build an adult life into their 30s and 40s, that is a sign of a failing society as well.
Someone who could afford to buy a house at 24 and have a secure enough job to make this happen, has no idea what today's young people are facing. They seem absolutely immune to what has happened in the last few years too, with extreme inflation, and job-layoffs as well. We are having a double economy formed where the ones on top have absolutely no idea what the majority are facing. They insinuate that the young person wants a new car instead of one that runs and other stereotypes that simply aren't true. I do hate that they lump Gen X into this stuff. Gen X had it far harder economically. There may be a few sadly with these attitudes who did well, and do not relate to what their own children are facing.
"Let's be clear from the start: there are adults in the younger generations who are hardworking, grateful, and deeply connected to their families. Economic realities are genuinely harder in many ways—housing costs, student debt, and a shifting job market are real. So this is not a sweeping indictment of an entire generation of people. But as a whole, a pattern has emerged in the past few decades that would have been unthinkable to most of GenX and Boomer parents—and it deserves to be addressed because economics play a huge part in estrangement.
"Many of us left home at eighteen or close to it. We would sooner have gone without than ask our parents for rent money in our mid-twenties or early thirties. Not because our parents were cold, but because we knew it was our responsibility. Many of our parents couldn't afford to help. We also were trained to live within our means. For example, at twenty-four, I managed to buy my first small house but then spent seven years with yard sale furniture until I could afford better. I have never owned a new car or bought one on credit. Independence wasn't just expected—it was something we wanted, something we were in a hurry to claim. We valued what our parents had earned and what they achieved. I tried very hard to pass this independence on to my six children (one of whom is estranged), but it was a struggle seeing how MUCH their friends received even when their parents couldn't afford it.
What makes today even more painful for so many estranged parents is that they gave more than any previous generation. They paid longer, supported more generously, said yes when their own parents would have said absolutely not—and in far too many cases, the return on that extraordinary investment was silence. A blocked number. A letter full of clinical language about boundaries and healing. The door they kept open, financially and emotionally, was the same door that was eventually closed in their face. Giving was never supposed to end like this. But here we are. — *************
#independent #abandoned #familydynamics #parentchildrelationship #genx #boomer #finances
Look at that meme....think about what the quote in red means... "Their Generation Expects rent, groceries, phone, car---as a right". Oh you mean you want to eat and not be homeless?? That's expecting too much? That's absurd! And then that last quote, too, They truly expected their kids to give up independence to them in trade for any financial help?
Unless you were very smart and set your 18 year old up with Vocational Training in high school or a position in a family business, most 18 year olds aren't going to be able to make a living. Some may be able to join the military and take alternative paths but most 18 years olds at this present year, are not able to make a living to support themselves. Do I think things were better when an 18 year old could make a living? Yes. Even basic jobs would feed and house you 50 years ago. Something is very wrong in this country.
If you are a parent who wants your kid out on his 18th birthday then you better train that child to be able to make a living and not set them up to fail but win. This means vocational training, practical skills that can be used at a job and allowing them to start working early in life. This also means encouragement, treating your child with some respect and love so they will have the confidence to succeed. This also means, no smear campaigns and utilizing family and friend networks, for your child to develop skills and community to make it more possible they can make a living and support themselves at a very early age. Sadly, most personality disordered parents will not do these things. It is a known fact in ACON communities that ACONS are not taught life skills, are blocked from growth activities, and are often smeared to others who will be less likely to hire them. Some will be infantilized and controlled to the point life goes from zero to 60. They are a 16 year old barely allowed to leave the house, but then suddenly they better be making over 2500+ a month to support an apartment, a running car, and to feed themselves at 18.
When you have a rich or well off parent who owned a house by 24 years of age, who always has had secure employment and never wanted for a dollar in their entire life and they have no interest in your reality or empathy for your situation, that is very scary. Remember in my case even with my troubles, I was out by age 21 and never missed or was late on one rent or rental room payment but for today's young, things are far, far worse. Yes, these estranged parents may have worked hard but they were given a PLACE in society to do so. One can see in the above there is absolutely no understanding.
If your parent is like this, it is better if you just clear out and never ask them for anything because this is one thing that will affect your self-esteem and more. I want to warn young people reading this, you don't want to grow up to have people resent you or see you as a leech. Focus on practicality, realize this is no longer a fair and functioning society. We are dealing with Depression era logistics, but no one is telling the truth anymore. Find a teacher or guidance counselor who knows the real deal and is willing to be honest. Explore things like vocational programs and Job Corps and read "adulting books". If you have a resentful parent, you have to put far more effort into launching yourself, so you do not end up dependent.
Sometimes I want to cry for young people seeing what is happening to them. Many of them are far worse off than I was when young. If you don't make enough money in American society, you are denied respect, love and even a family of any real note in any cases. You are "entitled" in your desire to eat and have a roof over your head. When I saw this, I was horrified and there were tons of people agreeing with her on this post. Does anyone have empathy for what young people are facing today? Many have parents who do not.
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