I wrote a list of books, I want to read, of multiple classics and others, this also includes great book recommendations from a friend of mine. This list isn't all conclusive, I read books laying around in my apartment, there's graphic novels and comics, I read here and there beyond this list. I am reading Cannery Row and a few old Steinbeck books now and checked out a couple novels by Tom Wolfe. Reading and going to the library is one of my hobbies. What books have you read or would you recommend? Feel free to add some.
Some of my selections are what I call "easy reads" like the McFadden books, but there's more dense stuff. My focus did switch from more non-fiction to decent fiction. I learned I liked Sinclair Lewis a lot reading Babbit. I never had read Tolkien in completion, that took some time, I read them in order though they may not show in order here. I saw the movies, maybe I would get more out of the movies having read the books. I haven't had money to purchase new or used graphic novels this year. Some books were ordered from interlibrary loan. Lionel Shriver is a favorite new author, the Mandibles seems to predict the future, She does question some of the authoritarianism which I like.
I still read some Stephen King, can't stand the guy or his politics but some books are interesting, sometimes I think they are ghost written or his son Joe Hill has huge influence on the new books. Some books were kind of dark like Revolutionary Road and Joyce Carol Oates. I have read almost every novel by Joyce Carol Oates back to her earliest ones, but I do question some of her latest themes. My writing group compared me once to the style of Joyce Carol Oates on poems. Demon Copperfield was one of my favorites, since Kingsolver wrote about a poor person, rare in today's literature. Some of the stuff with the drugs got a bit much, maybe stereotypical but I liked the book overall. The Valentine books will give you a new view of Vietnam and how politics and war work. They were intense but I recommend them highly. Merton I mentioned in articles here. I want to get some more of his books. My local library doesn't have many spiritual books just the basics.
The Art of Cartooning
Babbit by Sinclair Lewis One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey Holly by Stephen King History of the great American fortunes, by Gustavus Myers. The CIA as organized crime : how illegal operations corrupt America and the world / by Douglas Valentine. TDY by Douglas Valentine Pieces Moon: The Dark Arts of Empire by Doug Valentine
The Return of the King by Tolkien
The Two Towers by Tolkien The Fellowship of the Ring by Tolkien The Hobbit by Tolkien Revolutionary Road You Like It Darker by Stephen King We Need to Talk about Kevin by Lionel Shriver Dirtbag Massachusetts Ask Not: The Kennedy's and the Women They Destroyed People Pleaser by Jinger Duggar Vuolo House of Glass by Sarah Pekkanen
Lies I Taught in Medical School by Richard Lufki The Boyfriend by Frieda McFadden
Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver The Idaho Four by James Patterson Maniac by Lionel Shriver The Mandibles: A Family 2029-2047 by Lionel Shriver 150 Masterpieces of Drawing and several other art technique books Things I've Been Silent About by Azar Nafisi
The diary of Frida Kahlo Ward D by Freida McFadden Do Not Disturb by Freida McFadden Fox: A Novel by Joyce Carol Oates The End of the World as We Know It [collections of stories based on The Stand by Stephen King] Snafu: History's Greatest Screw-ups Vinland Saga 12 [graphic novel] The Decline and Fall of the Human Empire by Henry Gee Gluten Free Gal Orthodoxy by Chesterton There is No Place for Us: Working and Homeless in America Kent State [graphic novel--reread] Country schoolma'am Jack of Spades Joyce Carol Oates The Seven Story Mountain by Thomas Merton Book of Jonas by Thomas Merton Chinese Girl in the Ghetto by Ying Ma
Say no to Data Centers, they are bad news. They want to build these things all over my state even in remote towns no one has ever heard of. I may be joining a local group against these. I don't support AI. As I have written before, I will not knowingly use any AI, no one online is "AI pure" of course. This means refusing to use ChatGPT and using AI products. I try to use alternative search engines that are not hooked to AI.
Today someone told me about a new product, you can send a photograph in, and the AI will produce a paint by numbers painting kit for you. You get the board, the AI drawing with the assigned colors and everything! She had been given one as a gift. I said to her, "That's not real art!". She agreed and said her daughter meant well giving her the gift. It's scary how they are having AI interfere with the arts. I belong to artist boards against all generative AI on social media. If humanity loses art, do you realize the deeper meaning of this? There seems to be a descending laziness and where intellect, experimentation and creativity would all be shut down.
With the AI centers, realize they are part of a possible tech-control grid related to Digital ID and money. As the people in the video describe they are hell on the environment, the water shed, people's electric bills and land. I don't want any built near me. I am noticing some organizations doing AI promotion which worries me. None of this is improving our lives. As one guy says, we have a lot of other problems to spend this much money on. The electric grid is too rickety for this crap too. Look for your local groups against these data centers. Some states, they are building them ALL over, and when I mean all over, I mean dozens of the things in the most boondock area you could imagine! We don't want them. And as they show in one chart, who asked for all this AI garbage?
I'm talking about the Covid vaxxes of course. People still post on groups about all the people who are dying or died. Health problems seem to be snowballing. There are so many people with serious health problems around me. There's a little less censorship, so one can see multiple boards of the deaths from the vaxxes being discussed on some Facebook groups. There are multiple regretters now on many "anti-vaxx" boards who talk about how their health got permanently ruined. There's people who talk about their entire families being wiped out, with 4-5 members dying of heart attacks, strokes, etc in the last few years. That said, some circles [at least half the liberals?] are still entrenched and there's many employers STILL requiring employees to take that poison.
I have several friends who post, "I got my Covid vaxx", or "I got my booster", it's not like 2021, but it still pops up on occasion and as recently as last month. I lost another friend recently, this was an online friend. They struggled with physical and mental health problems but they believed in the vaxxes and were boosting. I don't know all the ins and outs, but I wonder what affect this had on them? They were a close enough online friend they knew my views. I will miss them, we could talk about religion and many topics. Their loss was shocking to me.
The number of deaths is piling up, its getting scary. Some people on "antivaxx" boards have said things on the medical front are getting far worse. They talk about turbo cancers, heart attacks, blood clots. People do not have the same health mental or physical that they had before. I'm watching people die that I thought with all my problems I had no chance of outliving them. There are going to be decades of ramifications from what was done to us. I'm not even touching the more complex epigenetics or fertility impacts from the poison. There is a dazed look to people now from so many people dying. I knew as I got older, more people would die, I lost several older friends in the 2010s, because I befriended people 20-40 years older than me. This is something different though.
Years ago, I and a close friend discussed these issues, we both had the theory, they never are going to let the truth out. I mulled over possible rug pulls as theorized by some medical freedom notables, but we aren't seeing that are we? We are seeing endless lies, double-talk, 70 million dollar deals with Pfizer and the mRNA still be pushed everywhere we look. They've pushed most things under the rug, but the left as I wrote about keeps pushing the whole lie, One thing I do fear, is when the pendulum swings to the left is they will regroup the efforts to force this crap on everyone. I wrote in my journal, "What's to keep them from doing this again?" and using Digital ID to make the repercussions for refusal even more oppressive. Some states are better than others. If someone tried to tell me a Covid vaxx was required, I would call them stupid to their face now and ask them if they knew how to read. I fear this though because there is still a strong contingent living in denial who STILL support the poison. They are blind to the death and destruction around us. They are so brainwashed I am awe struck. Maybe the bible refers to this as the delusion of the last days.
One thing I am noticing is videos about how many Americans are checking out. I distanced myself IRL to survive, you think I go around talking about this stuff to average people? Everyone here knows I watch and have shown many of the economic videos, that talk about how people are disappearing beneath the waves. Many people repeat they are checking out, disassociated, and don't care anymore. Many people are reporting they have nothing to look forward to. Depression has skyrocketed. The therapists aren't going to pay your bills. The economic stuff adds another layer to this. How much of this is due to living in a society that ignores what is right in front of their faces?
Lack of truth or justice in a society chip away at its moorings. This is more than economic pressure; these are the signs of traumatized people. Remember when I wrote about Covid being a macrocosm of living in a narcissistic family? Think about that, the cruel and mean at the top, aren't going to tell you the truth. Don't wait for them to. Covid uprooted feelings of basic safety for millions and now that the crimes haven't been exposed or dealt with, it's never coming back. Fauci never saw a prison cell.
Some of us dreamed of the day, that one day the truth would come out. Some of us guessed sadly right, they would suppress the truth. Psychopaths are never going to admit wrongdoing. Democide is not admitted ever by those who participate in it. Many people even if they won't admit it, know they are being lied to. People are feeling this odd feeling that everything is thrown asunder and its only going to get worse. This is related to the lack of truth and justice. Don't you think it has taken a toll on some of us watching friends poison themselves for years and watching so many people die? We can't trust major institutions now, many of us have been in shock at the endless lies. I'm checked out myself somewhat. There's a numbness to it all. Some have told me, "Move on, Covid is over". I have retorted, "Many of its outcomes and facets are not over!" The latest garbage is about the "super-flu" in the news. Sheesh Just shut the hell up!, we are sick of it! Fear and trauma make people sick and depressed by the way. One thing in staying alive, there's some mental fortitude that helps keep you going, and the constant focus on sickness just harms people. I relate to all the people in this video talking about how things used to be different.
I haven't watched network news in more than 2 years. It's too manipulative. I do follow a "check out of this system" ethos. This did improve my life. Their constant scaremongering tactics are better off ignored. Do you think I believe in this system? Well if you have read this blog long enough, you know the answer to that. See the woman talk about being awake on the video--yeah I know what she's talking about. We know we have to somehow exist in a world that is a sea of lies. We learned to listen to our guts, intuition and God long ago to survive. Some of us escape into spirituality, prayer, and Jesus Christ. I escape into art and have my husband and friends too. The world is insane. One can remain dedicated to truth, even if no one or very few around you care about it anymore. Stand on the truth even in a stupid world that gave up on caring about it. If we still have historians one day, they will see this as one of the craziest times in history.
This video nails it. Everything especially for those of us who were children of narcissistic parents was about appearances. I've written on this here before.
The other day, I was talking to my husband about the whole church thing, and how I didn't want to go back to being abused for being poor in the evangelical world. I told him, I was looking at this one local church but when I realized, they held multiple Dave Ramsey classes, it was off the list of possibilities. Dave Ramsey has helped spread many of the lies, that have too many churches turning their backs on poor people. He doesn't admit the reality of this economy. I think the lady in this video "Simply Christine" is a deconstructed fundamentalist, she was raised in the Christian Nationalism and homeschooling world. She is right about the individualism that is preached in churches. The pastors who love the system and this world never address the greater machinations affecting people's lives. I would love to read the book she mentions about capitalism and Protestantism.
The Catholic church seemed a bit different when it came to poor people. I told my husband once "Well you can go to a Catholic church and be dirt poor and no one is going to put you down for it." That's how it was for me anyway. Maybe because some of their religious take vows of poverty? The view was kind of different. One book I always wanted to read but haven't gotten to it yet is this one. I see the shortcomings of later wave feminism, but Caliban and the Witch is supposed to deal with the "creation of Capitalism". Both books would be interesting to read, I probably can get both from interlibrary loan later.
Anyhow as I wrote in the church article, most churches and pastors now seem to be in the sway of the ruling class. They have no discernment. Very few seem to care even as the economy is imploding. I am sure there's a few exceptions to this as ones in poor communities are probably trying to help their own people and even the Revelations of Jesus Christ pastor, the week they were going to cancel EBT went out to help people get groceries. If a church has Dave Ramsey classes, that's not the place for me. I will get the usual lectures and "everything is your fault" messaging and this vlogger mentions that how these churches tell people everything is your fault. I think that's done more harm to Christianity, where some forget Jesus fed people and gave them encouragement.
As I wrote, megachurches are starting to fail. Some say there is a religious movement now where people are converting into the Orthodox and other churches. It would not surprise me. Much of evangelicalism has problems. If the American economy sinks down even further, I doubt Dave Ramsey is going to do as well. I am surprised his message is still selling in the churches, maybe because all the poor people left?
I read his books, and his other nonsense. He has done untold harm to the poor and shut down hearts towards the homeless, poor and working class. He gives false hope. His whole program rests on stable high incomes which in the real world are rarer and rarer. Yes there are things people should do, be responsible, don't waste money, avoid credit cards, but he never questions a system that puts people into such huge debts or makes it so hard to survive or how the job world is ruled by nepotism. It kind of makes me sick they sold this guy in churches when everything he preaches is the opposite of Jesus Christ.
Here's his latest book, that's a creepy title. Did Jesus say go out and be a millionaire?
Hmm thinking of a bible verse here...
Matt 19:24 And again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”
I said to my husband, "Religion is a business now in America, and well business doesn't go for the broke people without money!
It's interesting when she talks about how health care was part of church charity and reaching out to others and how Martin Luther's influences are related to today's for-profit health care. I laughed when she compared the obscene wealth used on megachurches relates to the sale of indulgences in the Catholic church to build grand cathedrals but with "far less artistic merit".
She talks about the change where personal belief became far more important and Calvinism. I never subscribed to Calvinism and its denial of free will. Her comparison of Catholic theology and practices compared to Protestant ones are interesting too. [Remember in my case, I've been both] I questioned the hatred of images, being an artist that was always difficult for me when I was in evangelical land. Was it okay to draw Jesus even to show kids bible stories or was one breaking the second commandment? I have some icons in here now and watched videos on Youtube about paintings in English churches from the Medieval era that taught bible stories. I missed stained glass as an evangelical.
Her comment "what do you have left when you have no fun, no art and white walls...work, hard work" [24:23] stands out to me. She goes on to talk about the Protestant work ethic. She's right about Dave Ramsey going on about belief, it includes God but also believe in this system. I think people are no longer believing in this system. I've lost belief in it. Why wouldn't I? The young seeing no viable future, also are realizing something is very wrong and that they have been lied to about how the world works. I wrote about my time in churches, but one struggle I had was everyone trying to impose these belief systems, and I am talking both liberal [UU] and conservative churches that did not pan out in my life. I am not talking about God/Jesus here, I do still think there is a God, but about the essentials of HOW this world works. Dave Ramsey is full of it and selling false dreams and sadly influencing church people to disdain the poor.
Think this out in a world where most are now "failing" when it comes to the old rules and only a few superstars do okay, do you think people are going to believe in the system? I try to catch the edge of new things in religions, but I hope there are changes to the churches. I do think evangelicalism is going to have more people just leaving or even bible reading Christians who just don't want to go anymore and listen to some preacher give us the economic lies who will judge us by how much money we have. This isn't what Jesus Christ taught.
One quibble I may have with the video is I don't think we have "capitalism" anymore, well "capitalism" has always had those who exploited people, it seems all financial systems all hit the barrier of bad human traits. We have some new version of capitalism today with all the monopolies and the marriage of government and corporations having become complete, where the government bails out banks, and silver markets and all sorts of stuff on behalf of the corporations.
I do agree with her about the history and theology that impacted the crazy workaholism here, the rejection of leisure and this all getting mixed in with a false piety especially in Protestant traditions. This country has gone downhill with a lack of culture, she's right and bland food. This is what happens when a whole place just runs on people being consumers and nothing but and everything being about business, even the religion in many cases.
Doug Wilson is one of the worse, I knew about him years ago. She goes on about more culture and her marriage to a man from the Congo and getting to share in their culture. I have talked about this before, but I have lamented on this board, having no culture, "people" or heritage, this is something many especially white Americans do not get to have. We are so far removed from our European roots or are such a multiple blend now, there's no culture to have. What do I know of Hungary? Almost nothing. Like her I was in churches that forbid dancing, even art was a bit suspect too.
Sadly she is right when she says "If you are poor it's because you are lazy and you act like a victim" as being a predominant view in churches. She is right many churches teach that God is teaching people lessons via poverty and it is their fault. Remember these aren't Jesus's teachings this is stuff the churches have come up with. She may differ from me on some issues, but I agree with her that Jesus questioned the powers of the day. He defended the poor. I hope like her Christians realize how far they have strayed from the basic teachings of Jesus too. Almost every evangelical church I have been in, had some semblance of the prosperity gospel that they taught.
This is part of the upcoming Covid comic zine, which I know is taking me too long to do but remember I am a very disabled woman who is diagnosed with chronic fatigue. You know what is weird this panel was based on a cartoon in my journal drawn in 2020, maybe I thought pandemics always mean economic collapse and war. We could see the early signs couldn't we? They got away with Covid, and all that entailed so why wouldn't they go to town with the financial end of things? I had dreams about the above. I'm sure some New Agers would tell me such dreams are not a good thing and I need to stop manifesting "bad things" but it's what I dreamed about.
I expect the streets to fill with the homeless soon, though it seems they are making the homeless "disappear". Put the picture together, if they are laying off millions of people and the prices have gone this high, where do you think things are going to go? Where is all the money going? Up to the tippy top, someone is profiting off all these out of control prices. Even mainstream news has mentioned the loss of 1.1 million jobs but then took the real news down. One question I used to think on X, was where were the other poor people? Maybe most have had their internet shut off. The real poor people were shut up or shut down, so they could build more astroturf and controlled opposition accounts, with guys saying the homeless were all drug addicts or the poor ate too much avocado toast to brainwash people and make them feel all alone.
The young lady in the video, trying to find a dishwasher/restaurant job probably is in trouble because the restaurants are shutting down. We have lost so many restaurants locally. Some are getting smart and realizing people can only afford take-out and can't afford tips and a sit down place anymore. It's sad her own aunt wants 800 a month from her in rent. That's a bit much for a rented room. Yes many young will realize welfare won't help them. I had no money coming in and got turned down in the 1990s, "you're abled-bodied". She has figured out her college degree is utterly worthless. I'm still in shock the college dreams are still selling. I do find her family pathetic in not sharing food with her. That's white families for you now, sink or swim, they can sit there eating a T-bone while she nibbles at her ramen noodles. That kind of crap wouldn't go down in the Latino or African American families. They still care about each other in most cases.
Hey I had relatives visiting China and England, while I was wondering the streets of Chicago dumpster diving for canned food. Her future is being ruined. She is not building experience. At age 22, I had graduated and gotten my 14 dollar an hour juvenile home job by August. She's doing worse than I was. That age is the make or break age that builds or tears down the future. Potential is now being ruined in America. Consider this, even I had seeds planted in my 20s, that have blossomed into the art shows of my 50s. What are the young going to be left with now?
The guy with the beard has a point, make stuff affordable again. I remember economics class, doesn't more crap sell if more people can afford it? Why don't they want to sell stuff?[because they are secretly dismantling this place? hmmmm] The teacher needs to get rid of the expensive nails and is paying way too much for car insurance. I relate to the African American lady talking about the "run away train". I always spoke of it as being on the edge of the abyss, don't look down or you may fall in. The month becomes nothing but a marathon to pay bills. The bills are all more than what anyone is making. We have cut everything off. I haven't seen a "new" TV show or any network news now in over a year and half, or maybe two. I probably will never have cable again. I watch only old stuff on Pluto. I read news online. I hope he will keep his phone shut off and pay what was left and let the rest go. I pay one subscription around 14 dollars for my Cloud storage which is necessary for our zines and my book illustration projects. I don't know how anyone with kids or who owns a home is supposed to do it. With the air conditioning lady, yes, where is the money supposed to come for emergencies, or repairs or car repairs? The whole system stinks. There is a point where it does not work for people anymore and this system isn't.
The astroturfs and bots berating all the poors outnumbered the rest on X, I got tired of them. Rich people with no clue. Some wisely supported medical freedom but were annoying on other topics. There were always those farm people who preached self-reliant living not realizing us poors didn't have land to grow food on or barns to store animals in.
Yesterday I got a new bill, a premium for Medicare D that used to be 9 dollars is now 78. Some idiot thinks the disabled are rolling in money. I am approaching the place where there is essentially none of my disability check left. Add to that the CPAP monopoly sending me a bill for 422 dollars, they claim that's "WITH" insurance. These bills used to run in the 100s not the 400s. They actually send me a form, when I applied for financial hardship, where they wanted me to sign my entire bank account over, where it said on the form they could take up to 5,000 dollars out of my bank account at any time. I wonder how many old people needing CPAPS and nebulizer's aren't so careful to read this form. Lung problems don't help one discern predators. The form is so bad, it seems fraudulent. I called them up, "Process my financial application but there's no way I am signing my entire bank account over to you, since I could end up homeless if you clean my account out!"
I told them I want emailed from now on, my captioning kept failing during the course of this conversation. I am too deaf to use voice mail jail too. The eye doctor secretary got mad at me because I thought they would bill me and I had no money on me to pay the 17 dollar co-pay, Sometimes I think just pay what you can and let the rest go. I can only do so much. It is a bit ominous how some bills are getting higher.
We had just enough money to get a chicken and some vegetables for our holiday meal, I was glad to have two friends visit in the last two days so that was really nice. One we made art and collages so that was fun. Today my husband made some money to pay my phone bill, his phone got shut off, I'm not sure if we are going to turn it back on or not. He made just enough to go get something to eat tonight. The captioning worked far better on that phone, Sigh. Sometimes when really down and out, I make some strange food, lunch was a masa biscuit, 1 egg, and kidney bean curry for each of us.
It's weird on my social media, I posted videos like this, people either seem to ignore them or the ones with more money tell me the videos are "too negative". I know a lot of people don't like facing things like economic collapse, it doesn't make you too popular at parties. Many don't want to think about this stuff. For some of us the collapse already is here. It's worse for some others, I still got the power on, am housed, and got other basics though food is always a problem.
Some of the reactions were strange, I guess some saw me a doomer. One very "Q" friend has told me that rescue awaits, and the quantum financial system is going to be put in, and we will all be prosperous during the new Trump-led golden age. They are middle class from what I can tell, their family is very close too, I am not so optimistic. The left outside of William Barber and a few words from Bernie Sanders who sadly was a Covid vaxx sellout never mentions the poor and working class even now. The streets are filling with the homeless, no one can afford groceries but none of them seem to care, the extreme identity politics still run the show. Even the church I left, the UUA, only talks about trans people anymore, their magazine shows up at our apt still. you would think there is no other social issue on the planet to be concerned about. The Christian churches all push David Ramsey [still!] and act like packing a lunch for work instead of eating out, will bring endless money to your door. Of course, those programs assume there is decent income coming in. Poor people understand there will be little understanding for our own circumstances in most evangelical churches. David Ramsey won't admit the economy is crumbling. He thinks one can pick off a job off the job tree.
Maybe the healthy can go get a minimum wage job in a group home or nursing home. I did that gambit in the past taking the jobs no one else wanted to survive. I noticed all the wealthy Christians around here, were just telling a woman on my social media asking about financial help, to go take a Ramsey Financial Peace class. We are surrounded by closing businesses. There's a breakfast restaurant that opened up and died within a month.
It's kind of scary to me, watching normal [non-disabled, conventionally good looking] people on all these videos hitting the financial skids. How bad is this all going to get? Why are Americans putting up with it? I guess the billionaires, have perfected the art of misdirection. Will we get another no kings fest without no mention of the economy again? I'm tempted to make signs, "The Economy is Crashing and None of You Care!" for the next one. How about "The Billionaires won and control this protest, that's why none of you mention the Economy!"?
My husband will be going on Social Security for age, but there's some time before it and it feels like we are both limping into the end of the race. Why are things so hard? Life used to be more than drudge, I do try to find fun where I can have it and the art world and my friends add joy to my life, but the sad faces at the grocery store are a bit much to take. Some seem so shut down. It didn't used to be like that.
You know what scares me, is we don't drink, no one smokes, never did drugs, I buy the cheapest food I can--[the same stuff from Aldis], I got clothing from thrift and get what I can from "Buy Nothing" board and there still isn't enough money. I am facing the fact my disability check due to inflation is now almost worth nothing, and yes it scares me. As I have written, my husband doesn't like my ideas about moving to Appalachia, , or a more remote area of my own state, rented rooms or finding somewhere to go. He sees us in another Chicago scenario. I've done things like go on Zillow searching for cheap apartments in my state. They were all HUD apartments which sadly we will still be over the newest cut-off, in very bad dangerous areas or very remote, with no hospital within hundreds of miles. I saw a few studios for the amount of money I was thinking of [700-800] in college towns and apartments that were less than 400 square feet. It is kind of weird they made even small towns expensive. We have gone round and round, "Where should we go?" but we would take the lack of money anywhere we go. It's better to be in an area where you know a few people. Our present apartment is safe. You can't take that for granted now either. I dread getting new doctors especially with my level of medical complexity and don't want to leave my functional doctor behind who has probably saved my life from kidney stuff alone.
One thing I have noticed as I have researched places to go, is a lot of cities seem to be crumbling, and are having serious problems with homelessness, crime, and basically collapse of the infrastructure. You aren't going to see this talked about in the news. Have people lost their minds from being online, where they don't LOOK at the real world anymore and just believe the reality told there. One city I lived in for college, is now taken over by the homeless, it's so bad, I saw videos of this one guy on Youtube, feeding the homeless in that town and there were hundreds of them. My old small town, had a homeless shelter, that got closed, the rich MAGAS drove them out. I think they may be trying to rebuild something else. Things look bad. One town in my county, I considered moving to for cheaper rent, seems to have such a burgeoning crime and homelessness problem I am now not interested in moving there. I joined a local board on social media to see what life was like there. Hmm lets do a random glance today, Oh there's two shootings, looks like some bad stuff is spilling over from a larger town. Some thief is shown at a gas station. I'm glad I investigated this place a lot before moving there. My husband sometimes cynically says, "They've ruined everywhere".
People have enough of their own problems, with everyone sick from the vaxx, they fear for their own survival. I made a list of everyone I know sick or deceased from the Covid vaxxes and it was dozens of people. I lost neighbors, church people, and endless acquaintances and some friends. These numbers are increasing as time passes by too. People are dying a lot younger. I have outlived multiple people I never expected to. I miss old nice neighbors. One I said hello to for years and was felled by a stroke in their early 60s, the lady who lived upstairs from me died of a massive heart attack in 2021. One person I cut ties with may have died. I knew in one case they definitely took the Covid vaxx. I even wonder if death notices are being put up. In some cases, it just seems like people disappear. You wonder "What ever happened to...."
Imagine this across the landscape, I belong to multiple "anti-vaxx" boards where people talk openly about all the people they have lost, some even seem to have whole families wiped out. This level of grief for a society isn't going to be doing good things to that society. I think America as a whole has a PTSD problem from the abuses of Covid/Covid vaxx. Now add in the financial abuses and pressures, it sometimes seems to me, if they press the screws much more the whole society is going to crack up.
I refused to ever touch credit cards again after a certain point and haven't had one in 15 years. However the medical debts now will pile up. Having a company abuse me over sleep apnea supplies is very scary, some of my huge weight gain came from untreated and diagnosed sleep apnea. I have to make the decision to put off some medical appointments so I can catch up on the hundreds I owe in medical bills. I may delay going to the kidney doctor, the ear doctor, I have to see them, so I go down the list to see who or what I can put off. The sleep apnea machine is scary as it uses filters up and goes through masks, but if they are going to charge me 200 dollars a mask what am I supposed to do?
Much of the rest of the world knows America is going down the economic tubes. Even if Trump is deporting people, I am tired of rich liberals who support endless illegal immigration. I have noticed they don't seem to care about poor Americans who are homeless. I still stand by what I wrote about immigration years ago.
Legal immigration has a place, but in a country that can't even take care of its own, we can't take in millions per year. I can't stand ICE's tactics, but how come none of these liberals get the point that one reason Americans can't get jobs or survive is millions from other countries pouring in. They support the H-1B programs and other things that take jobs away from citizens and LEGAL immigrants. There too, you see the liberals protesting against ICE but they never seem to give a damn about the economic damage happening to fellow Americans and citizens. Maybe some immigrants are leaving reading the signs in the wind, this place is economically collapsing and self deporting while they still have somewhere to go. Maybe the news is getting out finally about how hard it is to survive here. People around the world realize things are getting bad here. Read this reddit thread, many overseas realize life is easier elsewhere now:
How is any of this sustainable? One can see the future and it's not too bright. They are making home ownership impossible. They are making having families impossible for the young. Many of the elderly and disabled are ending up homeless.
I myself while trying to plan for the future have been put in an impossible situation, HUD blocks us out even as poor as we are, my husband couldn't make an extra dollar again even working for a newspaper. The other place that we are on the list for raised the rent nearly to what we pay now and there's a time limit on the years the apartments remain "affordable" and then are raised to what they call "market rate rent". Food is insane. This good friend of mine sent me some gluten free foods from a local Trader Joe's she lives near. It is nice to have olives, nuts and rice crackers, foods I can't otherwise afford. I live in a food desert, there's not much to eat here, and no Trader Joe's. The health food store that is some miles away in another town, is going out of business, I suppose because no one can afford to shop there. I did during better times, but the prices rose so high even during working class times, I stopped going there.
Jobs are more insecure. No politician or planner cares about making up for the jobs lost via AI. Some believe AI is a fraud and I've wondered if it is the excuse for deindustrialization and the end of oil. Are you noticing they don't care about the betterment of society anymore? I noticed this, the left doesn't care, the right obviously doesn't care. They aren't even pretending. Everything is about screwing people over, ruining their lives and extracting every drop of wealth for the ruling class. You know it and I know it. Everything is to serve the ruling class. Covid served all their needs and desires as they expanded depopulations and helped to monopolize business as they wiped out millions of small businesses.
I don't think there's another CPAP company I can switch to. Think about that. They have no competitors. They are national, and that is scary! I could be denied care for a very serious disorder, that could bring back weight gain and heart problems. Life is being made worse, and the liberal world was destroyed by Covid. Sadly since more of them took the clot shot, there's more of them dying or getting sick. They only care about identity and corporate sponsored issues instead of the rising numbers of homeless. The right wing world, well, I was long ago tired of them with their reality denying lectures, and hatred of the disabled and up by the bootstraps myths. I know many people will just brush me off, "Oh she's a conspiracy theorist". Hate to tell you but crap we talked about 20 years ago on those boards is all coming true today. Do you think sell-outs like Michael Moore who pushed the Covid vaxx while he made millions cares? Where is that guy? Is he even talking about the economy? Hmm let me go look. Sheesh, just the usual no kings crap. What a disappointment he was!
Notice everything is to serve the ruling class, the oligarchy, the 1 percent. The world society, business, money, culture, is all being formed for their needs not yours or mine and they have plenty of servants to help make it happen. Do you see anyone fixing anything? Do you see anything being done for the betterment of society? All the technological advances are invested in surveillance and control not for alleviating any human suffering.
One thing I have noticed is most of the pundits except some independents on Youtube and elsewhere, never mention the reality about the economy. They aren't even telling people the truth. They are gaslighting even worse then when I wrote about it some months ago. I have a rule for any new pundit I listen to, if they don't admit the true state of the American economy, big potatoes or small potatoes, I don't waste any time with them.
This society changed for the worse when they forced the young into serious poverty. I want to write an article about how the economy may have impacted declining family relationships too. Look for that next. There is a problem with older people who do not care, that their adult children are having worse lives. What kind of life can you build as detailed in the video above, if you are dependent on your parents well into your 30s? What happens to your life if you "work hard" and your job doesn't pay enough to cover your bills and you are always desperate with a hand out. Keep in mind as I have described my poverty sagas, I have a husband who worked all the time for years. Lives are being ruined.
Why do people even believe in this system anymore? I am not sure the young even know what to extent they have been betrayed, they think this is normal to have life always put on hold because everything is too expensive. Blackrock and health care costs will extract the wealth of the wealthy boomers as they die off, and all the nice stuff like our decked out Senior centers, nice restaurants, libraries, parks etc. that we take for granted now, will all simply vanish. We have already lost magazine stands, cafeterias, bookstores, and most third places. Even church has become something only for people with money. Many of the small ones are closing.
It will be the Victorian/Gilded age with the rich being even more powerful. We are reliving the Gilded Age, but on steroids. Go read this book, I am up to page 177 but my eyes are bugging out reading it. They are doing the same to us now. Extracting all the wealth, redoing small crowded "tenements", making food impossible to afford but the bowls of gruel. Time to wake up! Seriously go read this book, here's an online copyHistory of the Great American Fortunes by Meyers. It's my second time mentioning it but it will help you understand what is happening. Many of their ancestors today are directing things. Notice what is done to ordinary people for the achievement of this wealth.
Those younger than me, don't remember the 1970s and 1980s and how different things were, how many vacations one could take, how leisure was part of everyday life. I became a poor adult, but I remember all that stuff, and got to enjoy it. Even family visits were different in the days before working people had to work so many hours. I notice on the video above, even those making 6 figures are pressed to the wall. They often live in very expensive cities and have expectations that increase the money. Their taxes are high, they have to pay huge money on insurance and medical bills. The lady being told to pay 1600 instead of 800 for medical insurance, probably will have no choice but to drop it unless she is a big earner. Some people live on 1600 a month or less. Are these insurance companies dumb? Don't they get that most people simply won't have the money and will drop the coverage? Maybe they will all go out of business. One can only hope.
I did wonder if I don't come up with the 70 bucks a month if I will get dropped. Oh I also have to pay a bigger Medicare premium over 200 dollars, when I say nothing is going to be left of my check, I mean it. If I was not married, I probably would be homeless. I wanted to protect us both from homelessness finding housing in case the worse would happen to either of us but the way American society is set up, they don't care. This place is designed to push you into the streets. This is why we have giant homeless encampments everywhere. Look, if my old small town, which used to be a stable working class place has a homelessness problem, that means things are getting really bad. People don't have the family and social networks that used to protect each other.
I do wonder what the solutions are. One thing I am noticing is we can't depend on the powerful and the famous. Most of the pundits, academics, people like Michael Moore, Noam Chomsky, etc, serve the ruling class. They don't want to admit what is going on and the people who pay their salaries or give them deals don't want them to admit what is really going on. I suppose some could work locally and try to build up local networks. I've faced the problem, I can't even find a church that isn't brainwashed by the likes of David Ramsey condemning most poor people to walking out the door, because they can't take anymore shame. Some are fortunate enough to have good friends, I am. I try to focus on them and art to keep my head above it all. I and my husband always have projects. You have to know we do think of what life could have been with economic stability.
I do think people need to admit what is happening and talk about it. That's not too popular. I am glad a few are speaking out on Youtube. I did notice information was "controlled" in talking about the economy, this probably got me shadow banned on X as much as talking about any Covid vaxxes, fat people or conspiracy. I doubt things would be better on BlueSky though, I probably would go over there and be censored for not being a vaxx lover and not supporting trans, and probably would be told the economy is just fine. I notice liberals ranting and raving about ICE, and Trump but still saying nothing about the economy and lying to us and telling us it's wonderful due to a rising stock market. With the liberals, are they all rich? I don't know. Maybe the poor have figured out both sides don't care about us finally.
I think ICE sucks for rounding up citizens and legal immigrants and fear them being used to round up dissenters one day. However I wonder about liberal people who are in such denial about the death and destruction all around us from Covid and maybe it's spilled over into deep denial about the state of the economy. The right wing is going around saying all the homeless are drug addicts even as the job layoffs skyrocket into the millions. The corporations which both of these sides serve seem more hell bent on crushing us all and abusing power to the point you wonder how they expect to stay in business when no one has any money. They use fear to control us all. No one is left alone to live in peace anymore. As I have said to my husband, "I am fine being poor as long as I have a few simple art supplies, library to go to and can get my needs met", but I added, "They never leave us alone". Every step in life is a threat.
Many other people of other countries see Americans as weak and suck-ups for even putting up with this crap. I've seen the posts online, "What's wrong with Americans?" I wonder why American's aren't departing out of the system. In earlier times, people formed communes, religious communities and other alternatives but all the doorways to those seem to be shut and/or cost money. Sometimes I think the elite just decided America the corporation is to be shut down, and that's the process we are now in. That's the only thing that seems to explain all the craziness. I understand the better off people not wanting to look at this stuff, it's not pleasant, but it's reality.
I'm leaving X. Outside of a few people, it felt like I was talking to an empty wall there. I probably will still 'read" and write a few messages to the few friends but will spend less time there. They took away my account that had 700 followers, even though the password was never lost. "Arbitrary termination" [see their new list of rules] has already kicked in. I have a second account that stayed at around 80 followers. After a period of time observing X, I felt like most on there were "owned" or "agenda" accounts or blatantly fake accounts.
I searched for my own name, and noticed they started a number of fake accounts under the fivehundredpoundpeep name. One insulting one claimed to love Only Fans. I hate Only Fans. This irritated me.
No one was reading my posts anymore and there was no way to recover my old account. Here's the new rules that kick in on January, they are awful.
It's just not worth it. Some of these places are addictive, I have to be cautious myself of internet addiction and dopamine hits. I am working to withdraw more from the internet. I will still post here, and still do messages to friends and emails. I watch a lot of Youtube too, since it's part of my TV, I'm not sure how much of that I can lower. Being deaf, it is far easier for me to communicate via text than the phone and I need to transcribe speech to communicate with people so I can't leave the internet completely. My husband still will be doing some work on it.
There have been some nasty changes to the internet where they seem to want to make the "dead internet" theory come to life. All the bots are ruining it. Many are noticing the level of manipulation too. Long ago, I noticed a lot of people online didn't seem real, there was too many bots and astroturfers. Free speech barely exists anywhere, everything seemed to have an "agenda". This is one reason I greatly reduced my involvement with Reddit, even on obscure boards like one dealing with bible conspiracy, There were fake people all over. Too many had the same opinions and the round-about dishonest way of writing. This reminded me of my banning from the raised by narcissists board even after years on there for having one line that questioned Covid vaxxes in 2024. Some of the stuff got silly.
On X, I have noticed anyone who is spontaneous and "real" is left with a small account, there were even a few excellent researchers and commentators, who were being left with very little audience. Some talked about shadow-banning, that may explain some of it. As you can see from the new rules below, my losing my first account probably was early arbitrary termination. Elon Musk is not trustworthy. How will our information be used by a trillionaire "tech brother?" Some of these characters remind me of the villains on James Bond movies. X was a good source of information about certain topics like Covid, though sadly most of the medical freedom movement appeared to sell out to Trump.
They are trying to build data centers. They are popping up like mushrooms in my state, every small town area is getting one, even my own. They already are making the electric bills skyrocket, and they use tons of water. Some say the system is being collapsed, but who knows. Why are they building so many data centers? I joined groups online against them and if a real world local one starts, I plan to go.
I do not support AI, I hate it, it has brought us endless bad art, fake pictures and poorly written books, and it's full of errors too. I am not AI pure being online at all, but I refuse to use ChatGPT, or any AI knowingly where one goes and looks for a AI tool to use. Some people find my anti-AI stances weird. One guy told me this is progress and it will improve humanity. I don't agree.
AI seems to be making people dumber and even more shut down. Protect your paper books, it seems they are making paper magazines and books obsolete, there isn't a magazine stand for hundreds of miles now within my apartment. The lack of a soul in AI deadens everything it touches, and sadly most disconnected humans don't even see it. I have noticed there are a lot of artists and religious people who hate AI, and we hate it for a reason.
How come so few are asking why we need a data center every 50 miles? You think those digital IDs have something to do with it? I do. It would shock you if I told you how many of these places they want to build and they are going into rural remote areas. They can't even get a working job system or money system as Americans are falling into homelessness or keep a steady source of power without constant war. Some believe and I've mentioned this theory too, that they are shutting down industrial society and the Covid vaxxes are working their depopulation "magic" though far slower than predicted. Maybe the data centers are a boondoggle. I have read articles and posted them here and there about how AI is a hoax. What does it actually DO for us? A whole lot of nothing. Garbage in, Garbage out. Why is AI almost always a woke liberal too and always loves vaxxes?
If I find most of the newest internet developments dissatisfying except for this blog, and some forced shopping online and speaking with online and IRL friends because I am deaf, wouldn't that apply to others? I've been ordering old books from inter library loan for real education like reading "History of Great American Fortunes", from 1936. This book will tell you what is happening now is almost an exact repeat of the Gilded Age. I've read to page 177 but plan to finish it. I suppose the internet is still useful for somethings since I found an archive of it but I want to order a paper copy as soon as I can afford it. I loved the internet for years, like a magic library but everything that is good about it, the tech brothers and other soul-less idiots running this society seem to be wanting to take out of it. However that said, many of us do feel the electronic cage being built around us.
Some points about the internet:
1. Have you noticed how blogging has died? I am one of the die-hards. I can't even find a new ACON blog out there. Most shut theirs down. I'm glad one blog I have co-written with, survives. Maybe I will run out of things to talk about one day. Blogging seems to have disappeared. Only the sponsored and corporate still seem at it. I save copies of this blog since I fear even this platform being taken down one day. I do want to get paper copies of the best articles but money has stood in my way there.
2. Have you noticed how those with independent opinions are ostracized and banned? I can find some real independent outposts of the internet but that got harder and harder. I really wish I could find independent message boards, if anybody knows of any share them with me here. I haven't been able to find those. I think of how Twitter banned me years ago for questioning the vaxxes, I got back on under Elon Musk's sojourn, but I've been "banned" just more via the backdoor. I talked about politics, conspiracy and religion too much for their liking. How come every message board has a control freak moderator that seems to reject all independent posts? You don't have to insult anyone or do anything wrong but if you don't go with their agenda, out you go. I've noticed this on boards for a variety of subjects.
Free speech isn't in vogue anymore in the USA. The left is worse with this, but the right wing can be just as bad. I am tired of being told by rich friends on Facebook, except a few who are conspiracy aware, that the economy is doing great. A lot of opinions out there are programmed out there. The internet is erasing individuality and testing things by the real world. Control of information definitely is an internet agenda.
I'm keeping my hobbies and paper books!
3. How come there hasn't been a back to real life movement, where people disengage off the internet. Maybe it's happening and it's overdue. It's not like they will announce it online! I had discussions with my husband where I have said, "we should return to regular life!" I dream of "going off the grid" so to speak but practicalities have made this impossible. I do force 24 hour periods on myself where I am not allowed to go online except for necessary speech transcription.
I could be forced off the grid one day because I will not take a digital ID, due to religious and other beliefs. One day there could be those who have been ousted from the system. You always saw this theme in many dystopian novels. I refuse transhumanism and other things they seem to be cooking up. If they plan for deindustrialization and returning the peasants to the land, there probably would still be some digital control mechanisms that could be left in place. Remember what I said about that Arch Druid guy who warned of deindustrialization as early as 2012, the job lay-offs and shutting down of companies may be happening for a reason.
4. How come everyone ignores how much WORSE everything has become? The whole Covid thing broke social ties and connections we once enjoyed. Life is harder and more overwhelming. Everyone is scattered. I still feel nervous in crowds from all of the crap and feel the deadening of the vaxxed. They just don't talk as much. People have far less emotions, for the new tech dystopia, they certainly don't want emotions muddying up everything. Do any of you pine nostalgic for the conversations of the 2010s, when people still seemed to have critical thinking skills? I meet fellow awake people, friends with a few, like floating islands of relief in a sea of the braindead. One thing I notice when I talk about the damages from tech and AI, is the majority defend it. Why? Some eagerly await all this nonsense, but the few changes I've seen have been for the negative and for more control and economic ruin.
I found this interesting, I SAW it YEARS ago myself around 2013, and it seems to have happened. This was a post from 4chan,
That said, I started feeling detached from the real world myself. It's a problem. Because I am housebound and in bed often from illness--I'm removing water from myself now in bed, I became addicted to the internet. Disability makes contact with the real world harder.
My worries have been about how much of the real world am I getting to experience? I do have a few friends, I go to an art club, I'm supposed to take a scholarship art class soon. A friend promised to help me get there in late winter weather, the place is near my apartment. How much of life is being lived anymore? Lack of money blocks me from everywhere. Americans didn't notice but they basically charge for everything, there's no free third spaces anymore. Church costs money. One evangelical friend told me I have a hang up about money and finding a church. She owns a home and is able to appear far more together, she didn't experience what I did in churches. The ability to give some money is expected. If you don't have money to support yourself even, it doesn't work.
Many Americans live in a fantasy too. I notice how few notice the growing numbers of homeless and "ruins" everywhere and closed businesses, because they can turn on the internet and be told "Everything is great!" Sure there's a few outliner voices on Youtube talking about the economy, but the mainstreams are maintaining the false reality via the internet. This is 1984/Brave New World crap. I worry "Oh maybe I am too isolated, I need to see more of the real world", but I can't ignore memories and what I see in front of my own face.
5. The internet changed people. It made us too performative. This applies to me. We all want a voice. Maybe this became a way for us to try and gain one. Millions all yelling "Look at me!", the influencers really running with the drive for attention. Maybe I am guilty too. In times past, most lived and only knew people around them, now we are on here, because our social worlds got so compressed except for a few lucky ones of us with friends and mates. We want to be noticed and remembered. We all treated ourselves like brands. I made jokes about how I had this identity online, as the Peep for years, a more outgoing personality. I find myself wanting freedom from the pressure to "perform" and "impress" or show enough intellect to have people take an interest. This blog did get some interest, it hit over 3 million views long ago, and I know it's not just me reading my own stuff but now it is getting kind of old. I've been at it on here since 2010. That will soon be 16 years. I did change a lot of stuff and stayed alive which this blog was started to find out what was wrong with me with my severe obesity. Even last year gave more answers with the celiac diagnosis. I am now in the 460s so at least weight is stable, and going down a little bit.
Even in real life on social media, I had the thought maybe I "show" off too much art, like I am trying to sell myself as an "artist" online. Artists do want to show their stuff, and get satisfaction selling it but I had funny thoughts about this. I do admit some bad stuff on my social media, people there know I am "poor", but I thought about this kind of thing. I don't relate to a lot of people even on economic lines, their lives seem so busy and full, but then you wonder how much do you really know all those friends on social media? Some I am close to, we talk like real friends enough to KNOW each other so some are obviously REAL friends. However I have names I don't even recognize anymore on my social media, when did I befriend them? It's kind of weird.
Most of my high school ended up more financially secure than I did with closer knit families, I could see the root of their non-abused lives. Most never left the town I went to high school in and are surrounded by family, they didn't become a weird economic nomad with no family.
The internet changed a lot of stuff socially. One thing I am contending with, due to the autism and deafness, I am far better in text than I am in person. One close person even told me they noticed this difference. I am not operating at full speed in person, even keeping my balance takes some of the brain power away. The deafness is getting harder too, the transcribe phones can miss things especially if one is in a room with more than 2 people. What does it mean for a person to be a different person in person than online? Some would say the internet was a help for you then. I do worry about coming across as "slow" and "boring" in the real world, there's like thoughts I don't get out, it's hard to explain. One wants to be a good listener too, once the number of people goes over 2, it's like my brain shuts down.
6. Has anyone noticed all these tech advances are not improving our economic lives whatsoever but making them worse? Reading about the monied in the 1936 book, I noticed everything is the same. The ultra rich rip off the poor and suppress the working class. All the wins of the 40s-80s have disappeared with gig employment, lack of jobs, disappearance of unions, and other "worker rights". Do you see AI improving the lot of the ordinary person? It's not and this is never commented on except on anti-AI or conspiracy boards. Few too even analyze the level of control all the technological advances will bring.
I miss the internet of the 1990s, then it was fun, spontaneous, creative, I remember how fun chat rooms were before the advent of power mad moderators. I felt like I was talking to real people on message boards. Remember those self designed web pages with cartoons and personal photographs? Not all of it has been bad. I definitely have enjoyed blogging and the internet allowed me to find out about narcissism and offered the ACON community. The internet allowed me to stay alive and find out about Lipedema, and find out the existence of functional doctors.
There's changes now that are not good. I feel like they are stripping the internet of everything that gave it meaning. It's become so MONOPOLIZED with everything run by giant companies. I don't like talking to machines instead of people and even when you get a person you wonder if it is a real human. Tell me what you think. I do wish I got more action in the comments on here, it is kind of weird I get numbers of tens of thousands of page views per month but so few comments. What do you think of the internet, AI and how it's changed life. Are you against data centers?
