Sunday, June 21, 2026

For the Disabled: There's Never Enough Money!


Don't go on disability if you can help it. I'm glad we have Social Security but the parasite class is busy trying to tear it down. They always focus on the disabled to cut costs and never cut anything else. The disabled are always the first people they go after. All the good things that previous generations fought for seem to being torn down by these people. Disabled people are really in for it now. We are the scapegoats for the entire economy. The left wing ignores us now. The right wing preach Social Darwinism.

Disability makes you broke!

Disability is a life of poverty. How could I have stopped the tsunami that followed? Dreams of running away at 5 and not going back, and going to Vo-Ed in high school saunter through my head. When I can barely walk, and everything hurts, FOMO or fear of missing out, became "Yeah you did miss out due to your body!". Mistakes were made on my side, in dumb youthful naivete and programmed fawning for narcissists. I blame my relatives sometimes for their crap DNA that gave me a meat-suit from hell itself. As I wrote about my financial sabotage, there was that thought that if I had gotten one good job with insurance and far less stress, that maybe I would have been okay. If you do have a disabled son or daughter, whether they are fat, ADHD, autistic, with physical and mental problems, be sure to focus on their ability to make a living in the future. Some won't be able to live independently of course like others can. Don't just throw that to the wind. Life is hard enough for the neurotypical and healthy. 

 If I had been loved and not disposed of, maybe I would feel different about a lot of things. I mused over my side in failed relationships, autistic people don't win popularity contests. Maybe I didn't smile enough or dumb myself down enough. Some may say well at least you weren't put away in the attic like in the old days but that's not much comfort. I'm in bed today, taking water pills, to take fluids off. I get up and do things leaning on a walker in 10 minute intervals so this place doesn't fall apart around me. I made eggs, nebulized lungs, showered, put some art papers away and I got up and used a Brillo pad, to scrub the top of the oven, the metal round things are rusted through, we need to buy new ones of those. What will they charge for those? 20 dollars? Everything costs too much.

The disabled are the scapegoats for the entire USA economy. They call us useless eaters and always put us FIRST on the chopping block! 

As I wrote elsewhere now when I get my disability check, almost 300 dollars is taken out for Medicare/Medicare D premiums. I don't make much.  I have something like 6-7 payment plans going with doctors now. At least most of these debts are under 100 dollars. The CPAP company I owe a lot to them but I'm paying on it and escaped collections. There's two bills I paid on mid-week. It's like running a gauntlet. I don't use credit cards, a 30 percent interest rate would be an unpayable albatross around my neck. 

The psychos in power are talking about cutting Social Security checks by 500 dollars a month. This isn't just for the disabled but the old too. While some boomers are rich and clueless, there's plenty of poor ones are going into homelessness along with all the young unemployed people. They are reporting that in 5 short years they are reducing all Social Security checks.   Some now want to do it sooner and reduce them by 25 percent. If that happens, we will be in major trouble!

Those jerks don't care about legions of old and disabled who would be wandering the streets. We can picture blind and deaf grandmothers shaking with Parkinsons not able to afford their humble city SRO room anymore. People on Social Security can barely afford to live now. Many are homeless especially people on SSI. How do they expect us all to take a huge cut like that? I will have barely anything left after the premium payments. I'm married but he's now dependent on Social Security for age! Those who are single are in even more danger. 

                                           picture source 

Dr. Kevorkian's Efforts for Death Haunt Us All!

Maybe they plan to roll out the Canadian plan for MAID for everyone including the USA. The young are probably going to be told go suck rocks, we have MAID waiting for you when you get too old. Check this article out! They speak of those who have said a trillion dollars could be saved by advancing MAID in Canada. This article mentions ethical dilemmas, providing alternatives to MAID, but think about the very fact this article was written and that these sort of ideas were even advanced anywhere in the first place. They conclude in the article there are multiple ethical challenges:
 "Providing such large economic incentives to have the government fund killing its own citizens could easily shift the focus of healthcare policy towards promoting MAiD as a financially attractive option, rather than ensuring that vulnerable individuals receive the care and support they need. Such a system could foster a culture where ending life is seen as preferable to providing adequate care and support, which is dangerous for any society."

What is scary is I want you to look at what has been put on the table as ideas to save money in Canada via MAID!

 MAID pisses me off even in its present form. It is something I need to post about elsewhere. This is one issue that separated me from liberals too. They are all too eager to support MAID or organizations like The Hemlock Society. Don't you people get that you are helping all the wannabe Nazis get rid of all of whom they see as the "useless eaters?". That crap scares me. I will take to the streets protesting if they try to make it or a program like it legal in my state.

These people [analysts] seem to be psychopaths to me. Godless psychopaths. Think about all these people who have touted these ideas for the state to save money. 


Warning: major triggers....as you read this one, think about what kind of people want the homeless, old and others who are not terminally ill to be able to "un*****"" themselves. [I have to word things a certain way here not to get this article censored] The stuff about the indigenous shocked me. The whole below paragraph had me thinking "WTF?" but doubled my emotions for their racist views and line about the "marginalized"!


It continues...

The authors of this article do not support these new ideas or changes to MAID but it's frightening what some deem acceptable and what some have put forth as ideas. The slippery slope is a true danger. When money enters the equation, life becomes secondary! This stuff is evil! 



When my twitter/X account was active, I talked to people in Canada who were signing up for MAID. All of them were poor and desperate. Most of the ones I talked to were in far better shape than me. I said, "Don't do it!" This one guy drove a van around and took care of a dog. He was far more active than I dream of being. The guy could hear and see and he had far more energy. He was in a wheelchair part time, and had pain issues, but seemed to be letting poverty and desperation lead the way. 

Euthanasia or what they call "death with dignity" is being pushed in America. Some states already legalized self-administered euthanasia. My state is trying to pass laws for it. They sell this stuff as a choice too based on more lies. They refuse people pain killers and care and end of life treatment and then tell them, "Oh you want this instead!". It saves them money.  One thing you will notice in many who select MAID in Canada, is they talk about poverty and not being able to get their needs met. Poverty is seen as one of the major motivators.

Canada’s MAID policy is facilitating death by poverty

Here is another scary statistic in Canada. There's probably a lot of Americans who would support this too.


There are two groups ADAPT and Not Dead Yet that are against euthanasia. Here is an article standing against the social engineering that is affecting the disabled.

Ableism and Social Engineering: If You Know, You Know: Rumour Has it, Euthanasia Proponent Uses “Nothing About Us Without Us!?”


The fact these leaders and others talk this way while paying out billions for war and having degenerate gladiator battles on the White House lawns is sickening to me. This place has lost its mind. America lost all moral reasoning. The rest of the world considers this place a degenerate mess. Canada definitely has gone down a very evil road. Canada is far more liberal than the United States, so this means they pushed Covid vaxxes and mandates more and MAID is legal nationwide there. 

Since Covid,  the lives of the disabled have been more disrespected. When they talked about triaging people. I knew what was coming. Now because the disabled "cost too much" [not those billionaires or their 10 million dollar missiles] they are focused on as a problem to be gotten rid of as soon as possible. The disabled and old are often used as political scapegoats. 

They made us sick to begin with and then blame us!

Ignored is the fact that a lot of disabilities are coming about from abuses in society, via toxins, the Covid vaxx, bad food, delayed health care--that's definitely part of my story, poverty, and a society that is not functioning to keep its citizens healthy and happy.  It's not doing good things to disabled people's psyches to watch people who are in better shape than them choosing to un***** themselves or knowing when they are on their death beds or sick or in need of nursing home care that one day they could be pressured into this stuff. My own trauma always has me in shock when someone is nice to me or takes care of me in the hospital. I experienced weird feelings about some medical people who were being KIND to me. I know what this stuff is from, given my background. That's one thing they are creating in this society, a coldness and hardness towards the disabled, old/elderly and dying with all this evil crap. There's no respect for life or for human beings. 

The crazy thing about being disabled is being disabled does cost you more money. The same profit machine that wants to make tons of money off hamburgers, also wants to do it with the disabled.  They've thrown us all in the meat grinder. There's no shortage of those wishing to profit off you and your never-ending problems. Nowadays only the worried well can often afford super-advanced medical care. I've talked about how if I had the right medical care at the right time, I could have gone on a very different life path. Who would I have been without severe abuse, love and concern when I needed it? During my 20s, I knew what was missing, and I knew it was going to cost me BIG. It almost cost me my life. I was very fortunate to get the years I was able to tack on. 

One's expenses are higher when one is disabled. 


I need special food, housing that can contain walkers and a special bed and no stairs, medical supplies for one ongoing problem, diabetes, and CPAP supplies, and supplements. Medicine is another constant expense too. Even if you have insurance, medicine and co-pays cost a lot. Years ago before Medicare D came around, we sometimes had to pay over 400-500 dollars a month for my medication. I often went without medicines I needed during my worse poverty years and most long-time readers know the ill effects my lack of insurance brought me. When my husband had insurance benefits cut at one job, I had to order generic medications from overseas to have some medications. There are tons of people out there who ration medicine, diabetics who go without insulin and Metformin, others who can't afford other pills they need, that's a massive problem out in the world. Some medications they charge 1000s a month for each. Insulin alone is more than rent at the retail price. 

Medicaid as I mentioned on one other article is at the same income cut-offs as TEN YEARS ago. This also is happening with other programs like a medication program and others. Inflation is not being added on. HUD cut-offs are abysmally low even for married couples. I always fear not being able to afford medicine. It's been a massive problem in my life on and off. 

I hate both main parties but I sometimes have voted for Democrats for the sake of disability related issues alone. Sadly they seem to be betraying us just as much. The Republicans openly gun for the poor and disabled, but the enabler party already seems to roll over as much as they can. Oh they'll do nothing when it comes to stopping any insane wars, especially as that AIPAC money rolls in, but the disabled and elderly are always first on the chopping block when it comes to budget cuts. Trump kept sending billions overseas just like Biden but just sent through more massive cuts to Medicaid.

The reality for many disabled people is you learn to go without. For poorer disabled people this may mean going without lunch or going without medicine. For those who are a little better off, bigger ticket items are impossible dreams. 

Here are the things I need today on the health/disability front, I cannot afford.

1. Hearing Aids for severe and profound Deafness. I found out they do make advanced hearing aids now for severe and profound hearing loss. I also found out there could be cheaper over the counter ones that will help. Here's a potential very cheap one I could try.  I will have to ponder the really cheap ones but that's a risk. Some warn that different brands don't work especially if you have severe hearing loss. They are far better for mild people.  For 12+ years I had charity hearing aids via one hearing aid charity and had them maintained by an audiologist who participated in that program, but sadly I became too deaf for those, and at that point there was no more offered help.





2. A couch or bed I can sit on in the living room. I tried to find a couch when I had a little bit of money at thrift, but they were all so low, including the beds, I couldn't get off of any of them. None would have worked with those risers you can buy.  We searched for weeks and weeks. Why isn't there any help for problems like this? Some fat people on social media told me they got lift chairs and things like this but all that costs thousands of dollars. One lady gave me the idea to buy a bed foundation and put it in the living room, so that's what I'm looking at now. I don't have the money for it yet but hopefully I will. 

 Of course the money got swallowed up with time with the endless bills here. I want to buy a platform bed for the living room, since sitting has gotten so hard, and put a foam mattress on it. One of these 4000lb deals would be great, though maybe I need it to be higher. 

3. Carpet Cleaning. I never got the money to do them. Its been three years. Yes it is gross. It embarrasses me. Allergies can be affected by dirty carpets. 

4. Compression Supplies. Two years ago I cyber-begged for some bandages, and Tubi-grip. I was able to get some. One lady sent me some compression stockings I used all the time for my smaller leg. I didn't even know they made some to fit it. The Tubi-grip has run out, it does wear out and weaken, and I need a new batch. I probably can buy some soon. I bought a few bandages too. I never have enough compression supplies and gave up foam due to its cost.

5. Shoes. A friend helped me get some. Thank you friend. I went without decent shoes for too long. 

6. Clothing. My clothes are getting holes. I have two decent dresses I save for art shows, one a friend got me. Finding cheap enough clothes when big, is very hard. I did buy some size 3x-4x sleeveless shirts to wear under jumpers for a few dollars from a charity clothing place. That place is strange, I can find shirts to fit me, but never any dresses, go figure.... [remember I'm smaller on top]

7. Supplements. I need more L-lysine, it's running out, Vitamin C and zinc. Some of those I can buy soon. There are two new supplements I need to buy for the thyroid and one is a milk thistle herbal blend. There's multiple things I need to get or replace. My labs have been going better outside of the mild anemia. My A1C is down. My weight stagnated some over the last few months but is around 460 still. I'm worried because whenever I have lost weight before it always seems to "get stuck" at the 460 mark. I've stuck to gluten-free. Oddly there was more loose skin on my upper body. 

8. Scooter or Motorized Wheelchair. If I won the Lotto tomorrow, I would buy one and put lift in our van. There's too many things I do that too much required walking ruins. I don't walk well. At least my knee hurts less today.  Today I went to a Goodwill and was walking around some but had to sit down and rest a lot too. My minor surgery probably slowed down the weight loss, and having to rest from problems related to that. The pelvic floor problems are making sitting hard so I was laying down more in between activities. Sometimes I see big people in electronic wheelchairs, when I am in our downtown, there's a disability tower down there, and I saw this 400lb or so woman in one, and was glad she could get around unencumbered. 

I get scared if I do go into a wheelchair or scooter, I will gain weight, but then would I be able to do more? Wheelchairs and scooters especially for big people can be a hassle. You don't fit in places very easily. The lift thing would make it almost useless though, where could I go if neither of us can get it into the car? What a mess. So I never got one and dropped the matter. I can still walk in libraries, and small stores obviously, I walked through the Indian store to buy groceries a few days ago taking two rests on the walker. 

9. A New Rollator Walker or parts for it. I had someone help me get the last walker, it is a good brand, the wheels and more are still intact after years, but it has no brakes and handles. I'm not handy enough to reinstall some brake parts though getting new handles would be easy enough. It is beat up. I use my walker A LOT. It is almost a part of me when I am out and about. Insurance doesn't seem to cover walkers. Once this place refused to get me a walker because I was 510lbs and the weight limit for the biggest walker in their catalogue was 500. I had to buy a padded seat for my walker that cost about 30 dollars a few months ago. My rollator works but brakes made life easier when they were working. You have to walk down ramps and stuff like this all the time. 

After this many years, I've learned to go without or go battle for what I need. I did paperwork to get some CPAP supplies and made a payment schedule with them. I was able to get new bandages'leg parts for my leg machine. My handle bars on my beat up walker were taped with black electrical tape. I may try to get hearing aids again, though I don't know if I will succeed. A lot of my day is spent on paperwork and survival. Yes, I am in bed a lot and often housebound but this is where a lot of hours go. Today I need some oil of oregano and vitamins, I will look for thrift clothing which is cheap. I found a dress I can wear in the winter that cost 8 dollars. It takes me two and half hours to get ready to go outside, this time bracket is not negotiable. This is how long it takes me to shower, nebulize my lungs, get dressed, comb my hair, brush my teeth, take medication, take my sugar and insulin, cook something decent for breakfast--which is usually eggs, and wrap my legs. Add in an hour of my first session of the day in my leg machine, and that time frame is three and half hours.

This article is right about how being disabled and poor is a full time job.  

Some of the medical rules are getting dumber and dumber, I was refilling my nebulized lung medicine and they told me I have to get a prescription for a new mouth piece to put the medicine in. That never needed prescriptions before.  I was able to get some new diabetes supplies last month. This kind of stuff takes up a lot of a disabled person's time. I have to budget for my supplements. I'm trying to stay alive. It's not easy.


 I have to buy medical supplies, CPAP and nebulizer supplies, copays on medicines, over the counter medicines, decent food, that won't make me sick, and special gluten free food. I cook a lot from scratch. Other disabled people need splints, compression, wheelchair maintenance/batteries, special cushions, pressure sore cushions, other special foods, glasses, hearing aids, toilet aids, assistive devices and pay for caretakers. 

And I am supposed to do all this on less than 1300 a month. I'm subtracting the premiums that take an instant 270 dollars out of my check the first day I get it. 

By the way the cut offs for Medicaid are so low in my state, I know people who make only 1400 a month and are single, and they have denied them. Since the Medicaid income cut-offs are the exact same as ten years ago, they basically forced endless people off.  They basically cut Medicaid here by at least 100% under Biden's regime. When you hear about all the cuts Medicaid is getting and Medicare as well, many of those cuts already happened, they are just adding to it.

I don't know how anyone is surviving. It probably will take me a few weeks to buy some supplements and some of the compression stuff. Many simply make-do with what they have. 

I'm far from the worse off, I'm married, we still have an apartment, a running car, and live in a safe place. This town has some transportation it's not the best but many disabled people live in rural areas with no buses whatsoever. I am able to obtain simple art supplies, I look for deals and friends have helped there, and have some food to eat.  As I got older I got smarter about thrift stores, food deals, and how to survive while poor. 

If inflation is scaring the healthy, young, employed people and most here have seen my articles with posted videos of the endless stressed out people, what do you think it is doing to the disabled?

Inflation has become an incredible burden to the disabled on fixed incomes.

"Social Security Disability (SSD) program beneficiaries, like other consumers, have been negatively affected by inflation over the past several years. In a survey from June of 2023, more than half (59 percent) of SSD program beneficiaries reported higher prices for the disability-related goods and services they need to purchase, and more than one-quarter reported reducing food spending to cover disability-related costs, Zachary Morris and Stephanie Rennane found in Examining the Impact of Inflation on the Economic Security of Disability Program Beneficiaries (NBER RDRC Paper NB23-08).

Using new survey data, the researchers found that 82 percent of beneficiaries reported out-of-pocket expenses related to their disability, with average annual spending of $4,412 and median spending of $384 as of June 2023. Fifty-nine percent of beneficiaries reported higher spending on disability-related goods and services compared to two years earlier. In response to these rising costs, 25 percent of beneficiaries indicated they went into debt; 43 percent found recent COLA adjustments insufficient to maintain their standard of living.

 What about single people who have to live on their checks ALONE and nothing but?

What about people on SSI? These are the people who didn't have enough work credits for traditional Social Security? They often have to live on less than 900 dollars!

And the war mongers who send billions overseas, are cutting their benefits too. One of the latest is denying disabled adults who live home with relatives benefits and cutting them off from any help.  How many with abusive families will find themselves out in the street? After all some families won't be the type to pay for an adult disabled person's food and lodging if there's no check coming in or a greatly reduced one. What about the autistic people who are on very long waiting lists for group homes? They need medical care and mental health treatments too. What about those with developmental disorders? Some people have poor families who need the extra help.

Another proposal is to cut community living for the disabled as well, and break down the Olmstead ruling that helped disabled people escape institutional living.  Many have warned the Project 2025 clan wants to shove disabled people back into institutions, and the homeless as well. I haven't seen anything new being built or new programs. Maybe there are some I don't know but if you know about the history regarding disability rights and the fight to make disabled people part of their communities, then you know how regressive all of this is. 

It's like they don't want people to survive. Remember there's a line where "going without" as I call it impacts the immediate necessities like acute medicine, food and housing. 

SSI has extreme rules. You can't have more than 2,000 dollars in assets. A married couple can't have more than 3,000. These numbers have not changed since 1989!! They have not been adjusted for inflation. Most people on SSI are living in extreme poverty. 



Often SSI people cannot marry because marriage means losing all benefits and your disability even if a spouse is low income and doesn't make very much. This means many people on disability [the SSI variety] are unable to marry. I am penalized for marriage even though he makes very little but not to the extent of an SSI person. There is an SSI marriage penalty that some activists try and fight.

Many people on SSI choose to never marry. They live with their "boyfriend and/or girlfriend" for over 20 years fearing they will lose benefits. This brings hardship to relationships and does not give the legal protection of marriage to the disabled who may have to turn to other relatives say in a situation where they may be incapacitated. 

Many people on SSI if they marry a person of average income, will lose all disability benefits and eligibility for all government programs. A spouse could be disabled themselves and making very little money and the cut-offs are so insane, the person still would lose SSI. This is what I talk about when I mean the people who write these rules have no idea what ordinary people need to live on. More jobs do not pay for health insurance or provide supplemental to a spouse. I believe in my case even though I am not on SSI, that at least one good job let my husband go because of my being a new "burden" on the insurance. He got to be a copy-ad writer for 6 months. The door to ordinary life slammed shut. 

Marriage Equality for the Disabled Activism and proposed new laws.

I have known many disabled people especially on SSI who have been homeless or have had to live in rental room situations which is far more burdensome if you have severe health problems and need quiet, rest and stability as a result. I know in my case, that discrimination against the severely obese is so high, that the changes of a rental room in my case are very low. Homeowners aren't going to be understanding if you spend hours in the bathroom throwing up from IBS or kidney stones. They want quiet out of the way tenants who spend most of their hours at work or OUT. That's not me.

 I have met other poor disabled people and most were on SSI. One was a lady with severe Lipedema who was around my weight. She ended up homeless after a divorce. As a couple, they were very low income like my household. She was in a desperate situation, where she had to move in with a friend she met online. She went to this person's house and from what everyone observing the situation could tell she was not being treated well. Her health got far worse and she was looking for new housing and the end of the story was tragic. She died very young in her 30s.

Another homeless friend, who I wrote for some time, had severe Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. She was [manual] wheelchair bound. She was younger, in her 20s and didn't have much help. I lost contact with her but wonder where she is now. She wrote me about being in the homeless shelter and the shelter had terrible rules, where they had to go a half mile away to get to the soup kitchen to get any food. She felt unable to do it and found it extremely difficult, she didn't have enough money for the bus either.  She had found a rental room but sadly the last I heard of that situation was she was surrounded by noisy college students and unable to sleep. She didn't have enough privacy. 

Many people imagine the social workers coming to disabled people's rescue, but from what I have seen that is rare. I've heard too many stories about people with severe disabilities being told to fend for themselves. People in wheelchairs sent to the streets.  That stuff scares me! Some even told me stories of seeing people without legs, the blind and deaf as part of the homeless community. 

This is one scary statistic:

"Roughly half of homeless individuals live with an intellectual or physical disability, and people with disabilities experience homelessness at a rate that is two and a half times higher than that for the overall population of the United States (Henry et al, 2022). "

The Overlooked Connection Between Disability and Homelessness

How many years have I written about how because of my Aspergers and weight, that jobs were very hard to come by? I have seen this in thin people too, who had medical problems or reduced mobility. They simply weren't hired and the most mild "difference" could lead them to unemployment. 

News agencies have reported of the old and homeless being thrown on to the sidewalk. Look at this poor man in a neck brace needing more surgeries who has been sent out into the streets to live! Some people told me I am severely disabled enough, the social workers would put me in a home or something instead of the streets, but I am not so sure. Social workers have turned their backs on me before when I was in need and I wrote this article about it. 

Problems with the Social Work World: There's Not as Much Help as You Think There Is!

I know too much about what others have gone through to make assumptions. I helped my homeless friend above online find the rental room, and gave other advice, she was out on the West coast but that was just survival stuff. I think of her and wonder what happened. There was so little help for her. She was young too and those were the make or break years in being able to establish herself. In her case, her family lived rural and remote and were incapable of helping her. 

There's some small things that can make a disabled person immediately homeless. Once they had to shut down the elevator in my apt complex for three months to replace it. I live on the first floor so it did not affect me, but I have a life rule never to depend on an elevator because they break and the power goes out sometimes for days in my town due to weather events. I could be trapped upstairs or downstairs. For a paralyzed person this is even more dangerous and I've heard local stories about the elevator breaking in one inner city disability building and others where people got trapped. Here's a video about a vet who has a disability room, who was unable to get into his apartment and basically ended up homeless in the streets.

 

There's many homeless people now who are disabled. Some are able to live with more loving families. I of course was told directly to my face there would be no help if I ever became homeless. This reaction made no sense to me, as even in the worse throes of poverty, I always paid my rent first and tried to be responsible but it was said to me. I already kind of knew. 




 For those new to the blog, the nature of my disabilities brought me ostracization from my family. I was not well-liked no personality could connect with a bookish Aspergers person. My weight was offensive to them. A 350lb professional man that made great money and had a high paying jobs in computers was fine, but not someone as extremely overweight as me. It occurred to me not one ever mentioned my Lipedema even after I told them. They wouldn't face it and didn't care. They abused me for being fat but didn't care, that I had multiple conditions that impact weight. Years after I went no contact, I realized how much abuse there was for being deaf. These were pre-transcribe and caption phone days. Some refused to text me even though I could not understand them.

Many disabled people with abusive families will be seen as BURDENS or embarrassments. Media portrays families as all loving to the disabled but this doesn't happen in many cases. A lot of people are abandoned. Many families will see a disabled child as "God's punishment" or a burden. Ableism happens within the family home. If a disabled person has a narcissistic family or parent, narcissists aren't very kind to the disabled.

Ableism and the ACON: Narcissists and the Disabled

Disabled adults will be left out of family activities from shopping trips to family reunions and disinvited from weddings because they don't look "normal". Some will be gaslighted and told this activity will be "too hard" for you while no attempts at accommodation are made. One side of my family, mostly my mother's cousins, would hold a family reunion. I got email invites but was told it was in a park that required half a mile of walking to get to where the reunion was. I don't know if this was a lie or not, I didn't have money to go. They definitely were discriminating against elderly and disabled members of the family. 

The diminished economic situations for many disabled people also impact these family activities and being able to afford them or needed money for travel and trips. A disabled person is not going to have the finances to go several hundred miles to Grandma's house or visit people who are spread out. Sadly reciprocation will be minimal for many disabled people because family members will choose the abled-bodied and monied to do things with. This was definitely a theme in my own experience. I spared myself a lot of pain when I didn't have to try anymore and economic burdens such as coming up with 80-100 dollars in gas money to get to my mother's house. 

There are some disabled people who do have caring families who take up for them and have their back. There's many disabled people who do get abandoned or ostracized by their family. Their disabilities sadly are part of why this happens.

Becoming disabled can be a lot of social isolation and multiple pressures. A disabled friend of mine wrote parts of an article on this blog years ago, "The Social Isolation and Turmoil of the Disabled"

We are still friends and have contact. It's 11 years later and things have only gotten worse. 

She wrote: ""I even notice your economic level may decide how disabled you become. I bet fewer rich become disabled. They are rich enough to prevent it, or to get medical support. It's easy to get disabled if you are poor. There is no support. The rich still get the best medical treatment even in nations of socialized medicine. Being disabled easily gets you isolated for several reasons; the disabled [and this includes poor and disabled seniors a lot, get ignored. and avoided by everyone."

and

"Try being disabled, without a job, no money and see how isolated you become. Shut-ins are usually poor. Economics is often at the bottom of many problems. This includes cures, treatments, interventions and equipment. "

She got that right!

The poor are more likely to end up disabled in the first place, working more dangerous jobs, living in more dangerous neighborhoods, lacking medical insurance or access to doctors for early diagnosis. She's right about the lack of support. If you have no money there's no support.

There's very little help out there!

The social work world is failing in my opinion. There's probably going to be less social work jobs and agencies as well. The cut offs are now absurd and the weeding out processes means most are told "no", even people who face severe poverty. Austerity measures impacting the disabled are happening in multiple Western countries.


 One thing I have noticed is that many disabled people cannot get household help and supports. I had a friend turned down by a waiver program, I already have talked about. I've discussed my problems with housekeeping on here and how I denied home aids and programs that help the severely disabled. My attitude in life is that I have to suck it up and do what I have to, pain or no pain. "No Calvary is coming". Well, most disabled people don't have the money to cope with these problems either. In my case, I have a husband to help. He has disabilities too, but if I am bedridden and too sick to move for a few days, he can keep the apartment from collapsing. A single disabled person or someone who lives alone isn't going to have this help and honestly, they have made it more and more impossible to get. A person of normal financial means, can hire outsiders to come and clean the house or haul junk or get a myriad of things done. 

Some disabled people do work part time, if they can. I'm not any shape to. For some of them, the risks are high. There's one lady I know with Lipedema, she is around a stage 3, but she is always getting dangerous leg infections working at a famous big box store. I think they let her sit down on something but that's still being upright for a long period of time. She's younger too, which helps, but she reminds me of how bad things got for me. 

Survival is much harder being disabled. The medical bills alone will crush you. I plan to keep my functional doctor but there's doctors I don't see because it would increase my bills too much. Fortunately having house call doctors centralizes some of my needed medical care. Maybe I should see a cardiologist, and a pulmonologist, but I figure why jack up the bills even more, if I get in dire need, the other doctors will tell me to go see them anyway. 

That's one expense that is massively increased for disabled people. When I had my minor surgery in the hospital, I was begging the doctor to do it in her office, and she told me, "That's not going to work in your case". I was begging due to money. I feared another hospital bill to pay off, I had just paid off the kidney infection bill from 2024, a few months ago. She meant well. It's better that I was in the hospital. I'm paying on the bill now but those are the kind of things that disabled people have to face. Sometimes I joke, "We are only going to the hospital if we are dying because of what it costs". My husband had to practically drag me to the hospital over the kidney infection, I kept saying "Let the doctors on call handle it but went through my urologists, and house call doctors and the urologist basically said, "Go to the ER!". I do believe that if I had not been diagnosed with Celiac Disease, the kidney stuff would have taken me out. I was diagnosed with Celiac soon after that illness and went gluten free. 

They have continued to cut multiple programs for the disabled and this doesn't seem to be stopping. Multiple programs are being cut especially for parents of disabled children who may have autism and other conditions. Medicaid Waiver programs are being wiped out. I considered joining one but decided to wait after my friend got turned down and had been given rigid rules about who qualifies.  

I want to warn young people always put your health first. One worry I have for young people today is many are far poorer, they can't even afford the milk crate and cheap apartment life. They are not getting early intervention or medical care and I believe this will mean far more expenses and painful lives for some in the future.

I do regret I had not been taught to take care of myself properly when young and did not have the means to see doctors or get care I needed at one time. That's one devastating thing that can happen to people in narcissistic families, they are not taught self-care. Their youth is seen as something that the narcissists resent and went to siphon off of. If you get sick there is often neglect and this can have life-long consequences.

There is something very wrong with a country that does not allow decent health care, food and stable lives for young people. This place is getting disgusting in how they treat the most vulnerable and I find myself thinking this place sacrificed everything to worship billionaires [on both the left and right] and wage war. Biden and others started to cut program years ago and it's a known fact that Trump has little respect for the disabled. 

                              picture source

A sign of a dying society is a lack of empathy for the most vulnerable in society and this is hitting home for the disabled. I think the calls to bring out euthanasia especially for the non-terminally ill disabled shows how bad the darkness is growing. I disagree with it in total. This is a society that puts money for the most greedy above life itself, and this is worsening. Americans are sadly allowing a bunch of parasite billionaires to ruin the quality of everyone's lives while slamming down the prison bars. They focus on the disabled to destroy because they know the disabled hold less money and power in society. It's low hanging fruit for them. The rhetoric against the disabled grows disgusting. The fact they are seen as scapegoats and too expensive and the cause of all the money problems in this country as these freaks hoard wealth and go to war with every country they can is wrong. There are things happening in America that should not be happening to disabled people. Many disabled people are scared for their survival. As everyone gets old and loses their health in life at a certain point, this will affect everyone. 




Sunday, June 14, 2026

The Movie Idiocracy Was Predictive Programming

 


This stuff is crazy, I don't always watch the news but saw this picture and wondered what's all that about and then I learned they are having fights on the White House lawn. They plan to have 14 fighters face off on the White House Lawn.

UFC Freedom 250 event. 

This reminds me of Roman Gladiator events before Rome fell. Maybe they will have a vomitorium meal before watching large men beat the crap out of each other. 

Not much different from all this....

Sunday, June 7, 2026

A Perfect Retort to Estranged Parents with No Empathy

 

                                                       seen on social media

It's not going to happen. There is such a thing as "natural consequences" for one's actions. It is odd some demand closeness, but if that closeness never happened or never existed, it's not going to happen. If you never hugged your child or said one loving word to them for 2-3-4 decades of their lives before they left, why would you expect anything else in return?

Thursday, June 4, 2026

Life with Celiac Disease and other Health Stuff

 

I tested positive for the HLA-DQ8 gene. There were other multiple clinical signs I got diagnosed based on. I wish I found out earlier.

 The connection between Celiac and Obesity

I haven't eaten gluten except three times by accident in 18 months.

What do I miss most?

Fried Chicken, Chinese food, Sour Dough Bread, Pizza and real spaghetti. I kept fried chicken rare for health reasons and knew I had to curb the carbs, but those are the foods I miss the most. Some of the Chinese food I can replicate by myself, using tamari, even the chicken I can put it in rice flour and have. Pizza, well I found some gluten free pizza dough once at Aldis but it seems to come around only once a year like Santa Claus. Some brands are better when it comes to gluten free pasta, but it's hard to find in my town or runs out. There seems to be legions of hungry celiacs around here because many products go poof!

Food also costs a lot more, all gluten free products are far higher in price. I get frustrated a lot trying to afford food or figuring out decent food to eat. America stinks when it comes to food. I am not sure if I just live in an town that is horrible when it comes to groceries and supply chains or if everywhere is like this now and I just don't realize it. 

Keep in mind as you read this, I cannot eat potatoes, fish, wine, sulfites, shellfish, and a multitude of other foods due to medical conditions. All dairy must have Lactose Milk accompany it. I haven't eaten a hamburger [I've had a few bites of hamburger meat] or a pork chop in 12 years. My diet is very restricted. Yes it is at the point what can you eat? Now wipe away all the gluten. They sneak it in everywhere too. 

I'm no longer a "silent" celiac. I used to think well some poor celiac people are more sensitive, I felt for them when they talked about barfing their guts out or getting scared some underpaid sandwich makers at a sub shop rubbed their gluten free bun by accident on the cutting board used for regular buns.

That's me now! I puke and get bad runs, if I accidentally eat wheat now. How do I know? I ate some ranch dip with veggies at an art club meeting and was puking with extreme bowel pain that very afternoon. My husband even asked me if I needed to go to the hospital. I may have mentioned this event in another blog post. Three bites of cream of broccoli soup, also made me puke. "Maybe they thickened it with corn starch", think again! My blood sugar was low and that was the only food available. Three bites couldn't hurt could it? I was throwing up within the hour. 

The results are so painful I am too petrified to cheat. If you ever wonder if celiacs have an off day and say "Screw this, I'm eating pizza today", they don't. You get too sick and suffer very badly.  The suffering can be the kind where one's spouse wants to drag you to the hospital instead of watching you cry in the bathroom. At this point I have tightened down the hatches, and have gone weeks without an accidental ingestion but that's a cook from scratch diet, no risk taking like with ranch dressing on veggies at an art club meeting. Yesterday, I bought a bunch of Indian food, paneer, spices, split-peas, and rice flour. 



my black seed oil....

I went on black seed oil some time ago and started another new supplement-full of various herbs. My eyebrows always thicken up when I get more B-vitamins, I ran out of methylated B vitamins, and my eyebrows thinned out almost immediately. My hair doesn't grow at all unless I'm on these vitamins. 

Sometimes I wonder what Celiac did to me all these years. It is kind of scary to have been in a body everyone blamed you for and abused you over for years and years and been this sick and then diagnosed with at least five conditions that directly impact weight.

      

                                                  my other supplement. I'm on multiple ones.


I thought "Man nothing was ever enough". There are times I wonder how my life would have turned out if I had been a normal weight. There's a lot of things I missed out on. That's physical stuff. Yeah I know the diet queens will say "you failed, you didn't starve yourself enough", but sometimes I get pissed thinking I probably had celiac back to my teenage years when the IBS then was off the charts.  My teenager years were spent being late to school from being in the bathroom and constantly getting in trouble for being late from my "IBS".  I do worry about the state of my intestines, and how bad off they are from all the years of damage from that misdiagnosis. My doctor did an advanced intestinal test for cancer, it came out negative, thank goodness. One odd thing, from some of the malabsorption problems probably healing, my hunger levels dropped. Don't get me wrong, I still get hungry, I am still insulin resistant, but an edge seems to have come off it. My malabsorption problems were SEVERE to even need so many outside vitamins, it's why I got diagnosed with malnutrition multiple times. 

I don't know what my weight is right now, it was going down some, 460 was the last weight, but I fear some mobility problems could have affected it. I don't think I've gained, I still have rubber bands on my too loose underwear to hold them up but guess I will find out in a couple weeks.

 My joints are in really bad shape. I had difficulty walking today and had to tell some friends I didn't want to go upstairs, because walking just one floor of the 5,000-10,000 square foot art center had worn me out. They have elevators there, but my leg was hurting. I move, I bloat. It seems counter-productive, doesn't it?

My mobility is kind of in danger, my knee hurts a lot getting up at night and that has to do with continence issues. Walking hurts. They say do more walking and I'll probably walk some at this zine fest soon, so some stuff motivates me to walk around but it's hard. Life would be easier with a scooter or power wheelchair, but then I can't afford one or a lift and then part of me is afraid of gaining weight. It's really affecting me. I want to do stuff, but it hurts so much to move around. Some joints go out, even my wrists. 

Supposedly Celiac Disease is supposed to impact a lot. I also found out a lot of women with Lipedema had it. There is a connection there. Remember scary autoimmune diseases go with severe stage Lipedema. I know a woman a woman with both Bullous pemphigoid and Lipedema. That's a really bad one that causes a lot of pain and suffering. I've met other stage 4 Lipedema women with a vast array of bad autoimmune diseases like me. 

My hearing has dropped gotten worse, it's ebbing away, why don't they have support for people like me. It's made communication with others very hard, I am completely transcribe phone dependent to understand or communicate with people. [unless they write me] This body hasn't been too nice to me. It's good I survived this long but it took a lot of work to stay alive too. I'm tired. Age is starting to weaken me now. 

Thank God, I got away from jerks though who treated me like crap for being fat. No one has mocked me or abused me for obesity except online in years. Maybe people can tell I would knock them flat or maybe the deafness and other extremes of my body make it plain to others, there's far more problems than obesity. I'm old now too, no beauty queen contests left and I don't care. Few knew I was 240 plus under my peak weight from years ago. Friends around me, saw how rigid the eating habits were even before I had to be gluten free.

 I hope I will lose more weight but the problems with chronic fatigue and other bodily systems putting me in bed too much, are a problem. Doctors are more forgiving I've noticed. There were physical changes after I switched to gluten free so they know, I had other complex problems. Labs changed, kidney stones dropped in number by A LOT.

No one talks about being old, and super-fat, maybe because it rarely happens though I knew a lady with my stage of Lipedema who made it to her lower 80s who weighed in the mid- 400s. Lately I'm afraid of my bladder taking me out, but that could be an autoimmune thing as discussed with my urologist. I'm hoping I make it, I have to dedicate some time to studying how to solve some problems the naturopath way and a good friend send me some AZO supplements. Some migraines have been a problem too, and they've been the visual ones. Maybe it's stress. Maybe I need to rest more. Maybe I'm getting old, and well pushing yourself with chronic fatigue brings problems. The walking thing concerns me a lot. I'm still on a walker, but the joints hurt. This week, my forehead broke out in red sores, the hearing is bad, and joints acting funny. I'm probably in a flare. I worry a new statin is giving me brain fogs and muscle problems but then MCTD/UCTD can cause those too. 

I'm supposed to see some physical therapists soon, Ive been having problems sitting, my falling stomach I think is putting pressure on other places. Physically I am a mess. I know some wonder how is she still even alive? I did put some effort into it all. The worse thing is the fatigue, I could go to sleep now, but after I get out of my leg machine, I have to empty the dishwasher, and do a few things like that. I have to take my supplements too and if hungry enough make some lunch. I always think I should skip more meals but I still do best eating on a regular schedule. 

I'm going to write an article soon about the financial life of the disabled, focusing on realities from that end. Getting the celiac diagnosis probably saved my life from the kidney stones alone. I'm still anemic though I guess they see that one as having multiple causes. They are learning more about Lipedema which is a positive development and it is very interesting to me, they are finding out the ties to Celiac/gluten now.


Why aren't I getting comments?

 The traffic on this blog is high enough I am kind of in shock, no one is commenting. The traffic has been very high in the last few months. 

Is the process to comment too hard?

Are your comments not going through? The way it works is when you comment, it goes through to me and then I am to approve the comments. I would leave the comments open, but I am afraid of getting doxed or getting mean messages to come through like if a relative found the blog. 

you can email me at fivehundredpoundpeep@gmail.com to tell me direct there.

I know I may get some spam.

Maybe people agree with me, so there's nothing to comment on?

The ones that would disagree aren't posting either.

Please send me any feedback you may have on this issue.

I would try and respond to most comments.

Thank you. 

PS. Tell me what topics you enjoy the most too. 

Making Homelessness Illegal While Increasing Homelessness

 


The cut off for Medicaid in my state has remained at the same number since 2016. That means in ten years even with extreme inflation and over that long of a period of time, they kept the cut-off the same. That is a giant backdoor cut in Medicaid. I live in a state historically known as "blue". I was right about the extreme welfare cut-offs. Back in the 2010s, I remember all the household budgets, all the prices have gone up by 100 percent, especially doubled. I am paying on so many medical bills, with payment plans, I have a roster of them all to keep track of them. Default on bills is probably off the chain now. I've paid mine but they keep going up. 

No one can afford their bills. Lest someone blame the Republicans only for all the welfare cuts, the welfare, Medicaid, EBT insanity happened under Democrats too. We essentially do not have social services anymore. This is very scary for a disabled person. They raised Medicare Premiums. I get a small Social Security check and today, almost 300 of it is taken out of the gate for premiums/Medicare D premiums. So I get my low-level check, an amount anyone would struggle to live on and 300 of it is gone on the first day. All costs were increased by 140 dollars in one year.

The rich jerks in charge don't care. They are only out for themselves. Maybe this is what you get when all your politicians are rich and even local ones live the 6 figure life and are completely out of touch with how ordinary people have to live. We had 60 dollars to spend at Aldis yesterday. I'm doing things like eating the same thing over and over for dinner, its cheaper and there's only so choices.  I consider skipping meals again, but get scared about my weird metabolism, that can go even lower if there's too little food. The money they expect everyone to pay on everything is insane. The powers that be lie and tell us inflation is only 4 percent, we know it's far higher. We are paying double for somethings we got just a few years ago.

I'm in danger of homelessness. So is my husband. If one of us dies or needs long term hospitalization or rehab, the other party is in great financial peril. 
In my husband's case, I am hoping his sister or best friend would take him in. I am hoping friends would help me but that's a lot to ask of anyone especially in someone's case like my own where there's severe medical problems to contend with. The way they got the housing set up, as I have written about multiple times and the rest, the system seems designed to just crush people. Too many assume disabled people will be automatically helped. Trust me, social workers never had much mercy for me. The one social worker was sincere from my house call doctor's office at least but their first order of business is usually to turn you away. I worry even now about weight discrimination affecting me when it comes to housing. I wanted to meet with social workers, and talk to them about emergency plans for both I and husband, "What should we do?" but there was nothing like that out there. 

 Yesterday I talked about what we should do if either of us ends up homeless.  I said my arbitrary plan is to find an open disability apartment but that would mean moving to a very remote area most likely away from medical care, and that is scary. "There really is no social services system and we have to plan accordingly." This is why I wanted us to move into housing and why the HUD cut offs are so punishing. I'm still on one list as a back-up and probably should go on more just for back-up but the HUD cut-offs are insane too, they match the 10 year old Medicaid cut-offs that do not take inflation or reality into consideration. There was a lot more help 10 years ago.

 The system is NOT working anymore. The amount of money the social workers except people to live on no longer works, in my state they never changed anything for all this inflation. That is why Medicaid is using the same numbers from 2016. The math doesn't math. My rent is paid, but this is a burden I live under.  I'm tired of living in fear.  I also have told him chances are if we remain housed, we may have to take in a friend or other people who become homeless. "The streets are going to fill up with hoboes just like it did during the first Great Depression!"

How much do the assholes in charge plan to squeeze everyone? Until they can't eat? That usually brings revolutions in world history. Revolutions can make things worse and then you basically live in a war zone, where supplies are vaporized. Hate to tell you all but I see outraged comments on many websites, where people write things like {paraphrasing here}

"Let it collapse"

"This government does not care about us"

"Thomas Jefferson had the remedy"

"I am sick of these bills, I hope society just cracks up and I no longer have to pay them"


There's been "revolution"  comments too, I won't repeat here, but use your imagination. I don't want my blog censored.

This is something new and means people are getting fed up. Some of us are questioning a "ruined decade" starting with 2020.

These are the comments of a failing society with failed leadership on multiple levels. Thinking of that old bicentennial time, people back then liked being American. It wasn't perfect, the 1970s had problems and Jimmy Carter but there was a lot more hope back then. 

I make jokes to my husband if famine hits, well we are fat, and our metabolisms suck and maybe we would survive. Americans were so passive and bent over for all the Covid crap, will they just watch fellow citizens starve as they suck their thumbs? Some of us have friends who have helped thankfully but what is wrong with this place? I am glad someone asked this question....

What is going to happen when the lower class can't afford anything anymore?

Yes what is going to happen? See Argentina, the Weimer Republic, etc. etc. It's not good. 

Most churches don't care. Those of us who are this poor, know we can't afford church or would be embarrassed as the pastors make their tithing demands. Locally they closed our Soup Kitchen, they said, "Oh we are going to reopen it" and there the building sits still not open two years ago. We drove by it the other day. Someone told me they pass out bag lunches. I feel bad unable to give much. I do give spare scraps for food I can't eat to one food box, but then I take from it too. If I had money I'd fill that damn thing up, with some canned meat, real food and things people would enjoy eating instead of the endless parade of beans. 

The United States sucks now and is becoming a third world country. There's a reason they got hygiene stations with shampoo for the poor at your local library. People can't even afford those items. It's for the homeless living in cars and tents but other poor people can't afford it either. The food banks got worse. They hand out the same cans of beans over and over. The churches hand out the same government food everywhere, around this area, that includes usually cheap cereal, a can of black beans, a can of pinto beans, or bag of pinto beans, maybe some rice, cheap bread, and boxes of macaroni and cheese. The cans of chicken disappeared around 6 months ago. 

How come no one ever says, 'we should be able to afford basic things, this is wrong". Working people should not be homeless, or unable to afford shampoo or groceries or their bills. Hey in the 1990s, I knew bullshit was coming when they started all that "temp" crap, and I would have been happy enough back then to get a basic plastics factory job to pay my bills and be stable, but they made them all temp which means you couldn't depend on the work or the pay. I'm disabled, I never expected to be rich being disabled but right now the disability checks are shrinking and inflation has made them almost worthless. For years after I paid rent, there was always a certain buffer that was left, well that's now gone.  Sometimes I hate my body because it made me poor. It is ironic I have to go without. One friend meant well giving me more dieting advice, but I thought, "Don't you realize I go without now all the time?" I and my husband are always splitting a portion for ONE into a portion for TWO." We did it yesterday with an Indian package of food I got for a cheaper price from the Indian store. Food choices are restricted from poverty all the time. 

We are told all this utter crap about America being the richest country in the world. What a joke! The rest of the world sees this embarrassment. Iran did a video feeling sorry for poor Americans knowing the numbers of the homeless and unemployed here are exploding. 


 There's hoarded wealth at the top, but Americans are now becoming some of the poorest people on earth as far as developed nations go. Some guy I am guessing some sort of system lover, told me on YouTube comments to go see how great Cuba, Venezuela and Iran were. It was kind of weird they chose countries the USA is messing with instead of fixing problems here. Sorry that's not working, I live in an area where I can see ruins within a few miles once I leave the "good part of town", your delusional rah-rah American crap isn't going to cut it! There's YouTube videos about the ghetto area I live near and how "dangerous" it is, even though I am there an average of twice a week. These rich dummies who never see out of their bubbles still believe all that crap about America being rich because they are rich themselves. They live in denial and get mad at anyone who talks about the real state of the economy.

Patriotism is dying on a withering vine, in a place where so many have decided to lick the boots of soulless billionaires and sold their own family members out down the river. My ancestors destroyed my future life moving to this place, and denying their heritages. I told my husband, his German parents should have stayed home, maybe he would have been a middle-class man there. I would go back and tell my Hungarian and German ancestors, "Stay the hell home!"


from Passion for the Past blogspot. Check out the article too, and go down memory lane. 

Those of us old enough to remember the bicentennial, remember what a big deal it was, our schools had us dress up, our parents bought decorations where there was glass plates with colonial scenes  and brass Liberty bells. There were giant parades and celebrations. We felt proud to be American. Now that the 250th anniversary is here, no one cares.

What is there to celebrate? Our leaders hate us and seem to want us dead [Covid-democide].  They are out of touch jerks with no empathy. They have turned the USA into an exporter of wars instead of anything good. The world hates the United States now. They look at how abused the American people are and the poisonous food here and are disgusted. Some feel sorry for us while others are afraid of this place. 

 I'm talking about both parties. When local politicians bootlick that data center companies ignoring all the desires of fellow citizens, you wonder how come the sincere ones are so rare? There's nothing to look forward to but a possible AI hellscape with a oppressive social credit system. Anyone with half a brain can tell things in America are getting worse. We will be lucky if this place doesn't become like the book "The Road" and the better option would be for it to fade into third world obscurity.  Some rich boomers can delude themselves with dreams about QFS and Nesara and whatever you call it, supposedly making everyone rich, but you are taking crazy pills to think these billionaires from hell are going to share. 

Homelessness does seem to be exploding, I live in a more affluent town, they keep them hidden around here but I follow some social media pages of towns in my state that have been taken over by the homeless. Remember the town I went to college in? That place is so overrun with homeless people it's insane. There's one YouTube channel of a Christian man feeding the homeless there, and there's lots of them. Some are elderly but others are very young. They all look very hungry. 

I couldn't get a job in that town in the 1990s, so I'm sure things got worse there. By 2012, the train station and a McDonalds was known as "homeless central", you could get hit up by 15 beggars all at once. I don't blame the people begging, some have nothing. There are some homeless organizations there that hand out tents, food and set up free vision, and hearing clinics for the destitute. Getting a job in that place would be like winning a Lotto.

My attitude towards that town is a negative one, I was poor there and denied needed help. The place sucked, there was a thin sliver of rich people and everyone else was poor. You had to beg to get even the crappiest temp job in the 1990s. I won't be surprised if it collapses into another heap and becomes another notorious poor and collapsed town in my rust belt state. Think of Gary Indiana, there's tons of Gary Indiana's, scattered across my state. It's a town on the way to collapse in my opinion. 

We are in a Depression. This economy is a sinking ship. It is crazy how they have made homelessness illegal in many places while doing everything possible to increase homelessness. The laws are written in a way to make all needed activities in being homeless illegal, like sleeping in your car or camping. They don't provide any options either. When I was on X/Twitter, some conservatives were claiming Trump was going to have more homeless shelters built to get them off the streets. There's been no evidence of that whatsoever. 

The laser technician having to buy a dog bed to sleep on in the back seat of her car, that's very sad. There are a lot of people living this way now. Then there's the people who bought the camping trailer to live in. A lot of the new laws about "camping" in multiple states is going to make their lives a lot harder.  I have written about the social services system being set up like a maze where people fall through on purpose. The same applies to homelessness. They are ensuring that more people will end up homeless, but at the same time making survival impossible and writing the rules to punish people for becoming homeless. The system is set up in a way to destroy people. Some people who visit America are now commenting that this place is depressed. I see it in everyday life.

I agreed with this comment..

"veebeequeen

1 day ago

Why the hell do we have 'government' when it does nothing for the people. This makes my heart so sad for so many people experiencing this. I've lived in a van for good chunk of time and I loved the experience, but that was due to choice and not necessity. States making homelessness illegal with NO backup options or assistance is purely evil.

It is evil.

The evil in charge don't realize, they've lost people. Yeah there's still a few brainwashed MAGAS out there, the majority to be frank have jumped ship.  They know and admit Trump turned his back on the American people and America First was a lie with the war on Iran and the state of the economy. Some are getting the inkling in an owned and corrupt system, that voting just feels like a dead end.

The Democratic party is a joke and already trying to foist Newsome, the guy who destroyed California on us. I saw his new book at the library, why would I read that trash? California has the highest numbers of homeless people. His new book seems to push identity politics as a selling point.  He helped with gay marriage so look away from the slums of California and the endless people living in tents. 

The young have grown so disenfranchised it's scary, they are getting tired. I see far less hope in them then when I was young. 

This guy is right too:

[–]Typical-Mud-8589 1 point 2 hours ago 

When the gap between survival and affordability becomes impossible to bridge, the social contract essentially dissolves, leading to massive instability and collective unrest. We are really playing with fire if we keep ignoring the reality that everyone deserves a baseline of dignity and survival.

Sadly this cycle has been repeated over and over in world history. The social contract in America is fraying to nothing, there will be far more instability and unrest. One town I considered moving to for cheaper rent, it is good I did not go there. I found out later from their Neighborhood board, the cheap rent got raised as of last year and is at least 1,000-1100 dollars. As everywhere gets more poorer, the crime rate will skyrocket. Many posts are about people being stolen from. They were looking for a stolen kid's bike the other day. 

I wrote for years how poverty destroyed my health, and was part of my severe obesity story and wrote poems about it. Ironically this blog's traffic is growing like gangbusters. I get the feeling the growing poverty in America is bringing me readers, because I am one of the very few who talks about life being poor. Have any of you noticed, how there's no voices of anyone but rich jerks allowed anymore? You never see books, or writings etc. by ordinary people anymore. It's all bougiecrats, and elites. This is one reason zines are part of my hobbies. I know I am taking forever on the Covid zine, but the next one will be Fat Pat dealing with the ECONOMY. I have endless comics I already drew in my journals. When people are made voiceless that's a problem.

Why don't the Poor have a voice? Have you noticed how no one talks about poverty or the real economy except for some videos on Youtube or alternative websites? We are STILL being gaslit to death. We have been silenced. Why aren't there websites more directly addressing the USA economy? How come we have to go to the independents to get any news or any validation about what is happening? Think about that and how our media and everything else is owned by the same 6-7 corporations. 

The level of poverty among people is worsening too. What about young newly disabled people? How will they survive when survival was so hard even earlier? I am not seeing the reactions that should be happening in an economy like this. They have distanced us from society. I hope some people are trying to find solutions and I am just cut off from knowing about these things. Are things going to change? Are there are going to be more communes? Will a mutual aid society come to my area? Will the churches actually do anything in terms of food, and helping the homeless, instead of passing out boxes of government food? I don't know.  There's that point where you say well, I should be doing something positive instead of waiting for someone to do it. Maybe ponder that in your own life. 

If our leaders suck, and the system is failing, we may need to build parallel systems or do things on a local basis for survival and community. Look for needs in your area and see what you can do. It's better to be proactive in this way and seek out more community and personal ties. If the economy does collapse, this may help with survival in the long run. I do wish there was more awake people around me. I know some thank goodness. This may sound like weird advice coming from me but if you have a decent family keep them around, I hope you can help each other. That was a sign of a real family. 

I try to think of solutions all the time for personal survival, some ideas of mine are funny like, eating the same thing for dinner for 4-5 days, and some worked like thinking of stuff to sell. What about the bigger survival picture? Is anyone out there thinking of solutions? My own health, resources and power are pretty limited. I guess one thing I want to say is don't wait for the rich jerks to come and "save you" or those around you. Hopefully some grassroots stuff is coming together. The Buy Nothing movement is one positive thing out there, it's how I get free stuff and exchange things I don't need.  Americans are already starting to barter under necessity and Buy Nothing is evidence of that. I think of history where people did come together to meet needs not being met in other places. 

I went to a Buy Nothing Meet-up, and while no one took the clothing I had, I donated those things later. We got some cookie sheets and other usable items. We need more things like that. Maybe we need something food based so people can share resources for food.  Some towns may have Food Not Bombs chapters but something along those lines. This town needs some more community gardening, maybe some places can do things like that. I'm trying now to research what is out there on the economic justice front and local endeavors. I may do a blog article listing groups I found nationally. Here's one group called the Poor People's Army. 

I know the extreme wokes may have ruined some things out there, but maybe there's some still old school types trying to bring real help and answers as far as economic oppression goes. No Kings is a joke, many here know my opinion about them. Many some people should do their own protests, I know there's some real antiwar protests not associated with No Kings. I looked up one in Chicago. Are there any real economic protests or other endeavors out there? I don't know. These are some questions I would like to answer.  

 I'm just one person but I am looking around trying to figure out if there are local people examining the economy like me or trying to form other systems for survival. We need community especially in a time like this. I still dream of a church where the place shares resources and isn't just about enriching a pastor.  I did meet a local independent disability activist; I plan to go visit with soon. Maybe I will talk to her about ideas related to disability. 

The second Depression will be a lot harder. We barely know our neighbors. We have too many churches that shut the poor out. Many of us have no families. Community is gone. Some of us more fortunate have friends but in dystopia America you see people all the time who talk about having no friends. This place does everything to separate people and ruin community that it can. We definitely need community back. With the homeless, there needs to be less focus on "punishment" and more on responding to what made them homeless to begin with. I remember when people wanted society to function and wanted things to be better. Why have things gotten to the point where the actions taken are always ones to ruin people's lives and make it worse? It needs to change.