Leaving Another Church: My Departure from the Unitarian Universalist Church

I've decided to leave the Unitarian Universalist church. I've stopped going to all services a month ago. I'm going to finish out my garden on the property in a garden box  [that will be done in Sept or early Oct], and then I'll be completely done. Walking on eggshells for three years got really rough. Covid destroyed things for me too. I wrote one understanding and kind member this: 

"The Covid thing is too huge to me, with medical freedom and the future they want for us with constant gene altering mRNA shots and more. I also don't agree with the woke stuff or trans. Even my religious beliefs probably have moved out of UUism, still believe in God and teachings of Jesus though I am not going to return to the evangelical world". 

The sad thing is my religious beliefs don't really fit anywhere. Things are very complex. 

The "woke" politics were too much even a few years ago. The UU has come to resemble a political action committee interested only in corporate approved "identity politics" than an actual religion anymore. One of my recent poems, has the line, "The woke don't care about the broke". The mainstream liberal politics nauseate me more and more. They are all corporate directed, and the wealthy transexuals with tens of thousands of dollars to toss away on dysfunctional body modification seem to be the only people that matter anymore.

No one cares about the poor and working class people sinking under the waves. Transgender surgeries harm even adults. Pushing this stuff on kids is criminal. Woke is the epitome of the powers that be pushing "identity politics" above everything else as they bring in tyranny and crush us all into oblivion. "Woke" is indeed fascist.  How is the church of wokedom going to work for me? It's not.

I could talk to a few friendly souls there, but I had little in common anymore with most of my congregation. There were very positive memories there too so that is to be taken into account. I tried talking things out but just grew most alone around most. You know how that goes where you are afraid to be yourself. 

One thing that kept me in the fellowship, was they were very interactive, and allowed discussions and lay services.  I won't be returning to any churches, because sitting there being spoon fed is never going to do it again for me. My husband was very happy with that part of things. It is extremely rare in churches. 

Most did not relate to how Covid destroyed my life either. There really was no relating. If anything, this is where a huge degree of toxic positivity really came to fruition. Many church members focused on "having gratitude", which honestly that grew old after a while because it just seemed like more spiritual bypassing I learned while in fundamentalism, to dampen down any emotions and put a fake smile on your face. Many of these folks meant well, I even wondered how much harm these teachings had on them, but it was something that worried me. There was the unwritten rule to "never talk about the bad stuff."

If these people never share their problems with me, and everything is always about saving face and looking good. Why even be there?  Add to that the constant theme of claiming I've fallen down rabbit holes from social media because Pfizer seems to be a god to them. This invalidation took a toll too.

Toxic Positivity-Why It's Harmful and What to Say Instead

 I talked in the past about how my evangelical and fundamentalist churches practiced toxic positivity, telling those who "complained" they were muttering against the Lord and didn't have enough faith to "trust in God", the UU followed the "gratitude" gospel.  There were social rules in the congregation that you never complain about anything especially among the women. This didn't apply to all, but I would say most. I talked about art and intellectual things with them for years, and wanted the whole experience to be positive. After all I was happy there. There was no need to bring up  much "bad stuff". But I noticed after Covid, I was very much alone. There was no going below the surface. There were times I told my husband, "I feel like I'm around coworkers where everyone is jostling for position and trying to show their best sides always. The room can be on fire but we are expected to smile and say everything is going great"

 As I expressed grief over things there was no understanding. Many folks there were very nice people, they treated me better than other churches even. However most are very wealthy and were taking constant vacations even overseas during Covid. Here I was, shaking with fear, afraid to even eat in a restaurant and people were flying overseas to see the world. My household was falling into the inflation abyss. No one cared or related. I did try to open dialogue, but there was always a shut door in my face and I gave up. 

My views about Covid did separate me from the congregation to the max. When you are afraid to share your views, it means something that is not good. I quizzed the few people in the congregation that knew some of my views, they are still lining up for boosters now in 2023!  What number are they on 6 or 7? I lost track and really don't know. I felt grief over what I expected to happen to them. Many did become sick or got new health problems.

The very few I told, all had the same reaction, they disagreed but there was always an invalidation there, "You don't believe the "Science TM", "You've gone done rabbit holes!" No, I watched friends get sick from the Covid vaccine directly and read Pubmed. Arguing just didn't go anywhere. 

Many of the people were very kind, they even made me a garden box but as my world narrowed and I grew more isolated,  I was not in the right place. I was self-censoring within the church as early as 2021 to be "safe" and that's really when things ended as everyone jumped on the bandwagon I rejected. Things got weird when people were banning the unvaxxed from private parties in the church. I still remain in horror at what became "acceptable". I hope for the best for many in the congregation and will see probably see a few at community events until I am able to move but this will remain a life-long disappointment.

UU is going down globalist evil transhumanist, no more western civilization or freedom highway. I just can't follow. Leftist kleptocracy sucks. I went back into the UU after deconstructing after 15 years of Christian fundamentalism. My religious history is more complicated than most. The fifth principle UUs have warned about the "institutional capture" where they just removed "freedom of conscience" from the articles. These developments have influenced my desire to leave.

Things got weird, this is a T-shirt sold by the UUA that claims "Abortion is a blessing". Some of the Fifth Principle UUs online were rightly outraged. Even if you are in the "safe, rare and legal" camp, moving so far to call abortion a blessing, is pretty sick. Of course I get frustrated with the fact most abortions are done under economic duress, where the woman in question can't afford to take care of a baby or will lose schooling, job or even family support. You never see right or left talk about that. Calling abortions blessings smacks of Moloch crap.   Like they are going to turn it into a "sacrament" or something. I did see these women online having an "abortion" party where one made her friend an "abortion cake", and drew a baby being thrown into a trash can on the cake. That was sick!

Is this sick or what? Even the statement "trans is divine" is disturbing as well. 

It's sad to leave a church. This is the second time I have left the UU, I spent 20 adult years in UU churches including being married in one. I even became estranged from relatives for leaving the Catholic church and becoming UU at the age of 18. Sadly some of the reasons, I am leaving again, are the same ones that took me out in 2000, besides moving to an area with no UU churches at that time.  Class differences were a worry of mine even heading back in. 

With church in general, I'm done. The "dones" supposedly are a growing class of people. People probably are getting sick of controlling preachers, churches that prop up the oppressive system and all the group think. 

Maybe I'll be inside one for a community event or class, but after leaving the UU, I'm done with churches in general. My first IFB [independent fundamentalist baptist] church I was in, was a working class church. Being still eager and younger the experience felt much different. We had a goodbye party when we had to move away. The pastor was young and was a rare 'sincere' man. The rest of evangelical preachers I encountered were all oily used car salesmen. Church may be too difficult for autistics anyhow, with the constant social demands and masking. Covid complicated things so much for me, that's when things started to fall apart. 

My early years [4-5 years] in the UU church were happy, the intellectual explorations, the discussions, and more were interesting. Many of the people were engaging, intelligent, friendly and dedicated to making the world a better place. My husband played music, I shared art and developed a role as a church artist. I want to keep those good memories. It became a different place later. It just wasn't the same.

Covid changed people and you all know what I believe about the vaxxes changing people. It was a whole other world. People became very closed down. Emotionally they were flat. It weirded me out. Politics changed too and became more insane. One was expected to choose a team and follow everything on the team roster without question. One could have a few differing opinions even in those days.  I will remain in shock forever how not one other person in my UU church questioned anything. It will disturb me for the rest of my life. Why wasn't anyone else seeing the destruction of our lives, health and country?  Why did I have to be the only one?               

 I may be too independent minded to do church right. I couldn't conform right as a "fundamentalist" was against Dominionism and I didn't conform enough for the Unitarian Universalists who expected to me to sign off on a check list as involved as the fundamentalists especially near the end. 

Reminds me of my family, I was made to paid dearly for leaving the Catholic church.  Sadly there's many negative things about churches in general, where there seem to be many commonalities at least to the dark side of church. 

Finding community at church can be a challenge. I had some in my first church, maybe that place was rare, or I was young and idealistic, well it was more working class. I just get told I suck for not conforming enough in all the last ones, UU included. I was deemed "evil" and Satan's daughter for walking out of the last IFB, now I'm "evil" for questioning a few things and not being the "right kind" of liberal. People stopped talking to me for my opinions in the fundamentalist church--I didn't like Trump. I've already had "light ostracization" with the UUs, a few I dared to open my mouth to, for some time. Walking on eggshells doesn't even describe it. 

Church from conservative to liberal seems like a place mostly for high status people to show off. I noticed that, how the wealthiest families were always held up as the "best examples", the bragging about extensive vacations at the UU grew really old for me. I was hiding away due to bad lungs--social life cratering, and they were bragging about their weeks spent traveling through Europe, Eygpt and other far flung places. This was true in the evangelical church. A very wealthy Quiverful family dominated my second IFB. [fundamentalist church]. All the parties and gatherings at that church were for their various weddings, baby and wedding showers. 

Church costs money. Don't have money, no reason to be there. As inflation has skyrocketed, I can't even afford the reduced pledges of the UU. There's a reason you don't see poor or broke people at churches except maybe some very remote tiny churches/homechurches in the holler.  The evangelical ones always expected the giant cut of 10 percent, I never could afford. So I never was an "official member"  of my Christian churches. Jesus talked about help for the widows and poor but with most evangelical churches, it was pay up!. The UUs were far more reasonable but even there, it's sad when you can't afford church anymore. 

Don't waste time trying to make close friends at church. A few people were friendly to me at the UU and there's a few I will keep as friends, but overall, the friendships in both the Christian churches and UU didn't seem to go very deep. Religion demands so much perfection, one thing I have noticed in churches is people never share any vulnerabilities or foibles. Spiritual perfection and close friendships seem to be at opposite ends. There are a few I was more friendly with, this did not apply to and plan to keep contact with. I had a few friends in evangelical churches but there was always the danger of becoming a "project friend" and as a disabled person, there's always that "Have faith and be healed" edge to things.

The pressures for projects, lectures and church work, I couldn't keep up with it. The same went for Christian churches who thought someone on disability had the time to be doing constant volunteer work.

I went into churches looking for connection, I did find some great people here and there. I had far more community in an anti-war group I was in years ago then I ever did at any church. I'm  not sure why that is. 

Church is about social conformity. I didn't match good enough as a fundamentalist, rebuked for war protesting, for being against Dominionism, and not voting for GWBush. I didn't match good enough for the UUs, "wrong kind of liberal", not with the program, medical freedom beliefs, not "woke" enough. Things really changed a few years ago quite abruptly, I feel like some differences were allowed in the earlier years but that ceased to be. Covid of course was a massive dividing line. 

The UUs treated me better being disabled, I will give them that, but most disabled people in churches it's a hellzone, you don't have enough faith to be healed, "you did something wrong". Everyone comes at you for advice for your messed up body. Some UUs did give me the "toxic positivity" spiels. Churches in general seem to practice spiritual bypassing, suppression of any negative emotions and "toxic positivity". Talking about anything even slightly negative was not allowed at my UU. This worsened post-Covid, as it seemed everyone seem more intent on proving how resilient they all were, then being real about anything. I focused on art and intellectual stuff for years after all it was a positive place for me, what was there to bitch about back then? Things remained at a superficial level for a reason.

The fundamentalists at my poorer working class church were more open but the rule at Calvary Chapel and my second IFB was never talk about anything negative, and if you had even ONE mild complaint, you were showing lack of faith in God. Once at the second IFB, during a prayer session, I worried aloud about a medical problem, and three church members later came up to give me books on trusting God. 

I have enough hobbies to keep myself busy. I'm always behind on projects. Better to join a Senior Center [husband will be old enough soon] and art center than a church. 

Churches are money-making business and "busy work for adults". Sometimes I get exhausted thinking of all the church volunteer work, that was attempted to be foisted on me. All of them have endless committees. Some of this work there is a need for like helping at a soup kitchen, but some folks seemed to do nothing but go to church meetings. 

Churches all support the status quo. Question the system, well you probably aren't going to last long. If you are off the "normie" reservation in general, expect negative reactions. This could be anything from anarchism, punk, libertarianism, questioning globalism, liking Bukowski to an interest in outsider art. You will notice a growing sameness in all your church members, and a pressure to become more like them. Name one church denomination that stood against the Covid tyranny? If they are big enough to be a known name, there doesn't seem to be one.

I'm not going to waste anymore time on any church. I don't believe one has to be in a church to have a relationship with God. I believed years ago, that the "church system" had departed from what Jesus Christ intended anyhow, and think that way now. I'm back reading the bible and thinking about Bible prophecy. From what I can tell most of the UU loves the WEF and every agenda I now despise so staying wasn't an option. 

We all want to belong somewhere and have community, I had a lot of dreams about the UU church I was in, but there simply was too much I came to disagree on. The good memories will be held onto. It was a learning experience.

The Unitarian Universalist Controversy: When Your Church Goes So Woke You Can't Stand It.

The Angst of Life

This speech is ironic to me now, well authoritarianism took over the left even more so.

Stopping the Authoritarian Train in it's Tracks.

My Life of Sadness Among the "Juice Drinkers".

The High Church of Wokeness

Why Unitarian Universalism is Dying