Sunday, June 29, 2014


People Still Don't Know What NDAA Is

I still tell people about NDAA, and at least 85% have never heard of it.

What is NDAA?

In Other Words, You Can't Make Someone Love You

Something for all ACONs to read.

Global Warming is a Lie

Ever since I heard of the Medieval Warm Period, I knew Global Warming was a lie, meant to give control of the world's resources and energy to centralized authorities. Talk about power.

The world has cycles, and has for thousands of years.

I like Lee Sands Necklaces

I have a friend that buys me Lee Sands necklaces as gifts and I love them. She just got me a one made out of mother of pearl, that is very pretty. Here I am wearing one, that is a favorite with cultured pearls. I love wearing beads and nice necklaces. LOL there is a loose string on my dress, hey it's a favorite I've been wearing for years. I do use extenders on necklaces, I buy some from a beading shop but also have found them at bigger shopping centers before. Here is a thank you to my friend. She does read this blog.

Seeing A Nutritonist Soon

I'm seeing a nutritionist this week.  Actually I need a tripled food budget more then I need a nutritionist but I am having problems with food and when you are short on 4-5 vitamins in your body maybe some changes need to be made.  I put myself on a multi-vitamin recently and maybe some other things can be tweaked. Sometimes I wish I could just go without eating and say forget it, but I know hunger pain will keep knocking on my door. You know you got problems if you are 500lbs and your doctors have a diagnosis of mal-nutrition on your records. Supposely us big fat people are over-nourished. That's not necessarily true. For whatever reason my body is reacting to food like I am being starved in a prison camp or something outside the storage of fat. I plan to tell the nutritionist I think there are some leaky gut issues or something insidious going on.

I find the idea that I can eat "special" and start dropping pounds at this point in my life to be absolutely laughable. A lot of food is making me ill lately and this seems to be getting worse and I'm not losing anything, well as far as I know back to a month or two ago the last time I was weighed. The kidney stones are kept away via meds but feelings of nausea, and bowel pain come and go all the time.

 My digestion went off the rails for two weeks, and now is still touchy. What did I do? I ate one processed food item. I am tired, I don't want to spend every minute cooking. A lot of food seems gross to me. Why do they pour cheese on everything? As I went down the frozen food aisle looking for things to eat, everything even the 'health' food stuff has cheese in it. I can eat yogurt and lactose free dairy, but it's insane. I may say to the nutritionist, tell me what I should be eating, and will kill the hunger pain or keep it away and what I can get on this little bit of money.

I've since learned that lipdema can cause food and disgestive issues. I need to research further on this. Some people say you should go on the RAD diet. I figured out I eat close to a RAD diet already to keep from getting ill, though it's not perfect, keep my multiple food allergies in mind.

I plan to make a salad for dinner with chicken salad on it and cut up tomatoes. I may add a fresh peach and couple tablespoons of Greek Yogurt.  Right now I don't feel like eating anything but that is the plan if some hunger pain comes.  It worries me how I am eating and how it is panning out in my body.


                                [picture source]

Hey if you separate from the crowd on anything today, it can be scary. They have brainwashed people to tell them to step back in line in our 1984 like world. Having the parents I had, no Stasi police probably could break me.

I'm out on the fringes faith wise, and in many other areas including obesity. I had a weird moment of having a friend tell me that I have too much of a "crusader" personality. Well in my case I'm not fighting a useless war for a Middle Age Pope but I do make a stand. I told him, "Yes I know I have not conformed, take me as I am because this is what you are going to get."

While I understand the wisdom of choosing battles wisely and not turning every single thing into a debate, I think we need more people to make a stand out there even if they are told they are called crazy, or a kook or told to shut up.  My personality is the type, I've had entire rooms laugh at me, and continued forth, no I wasn't debating 9-11 as an inside job sometimes I was just standing up for my principles. Sadly that seems rare today.

Friday, June 27, 2014

The Never Ending Criticism of the Fat Lady

Something is happening to me now as a result of no contact. I told a support group today that something is changing in me since I went "no contact" and not all change is easy but the de-programming from the family cult is in full mode. I feel like perhaps this is a brick wall I am finally going to bust through on to the other side.

Imagine you are me. There you stand in supersized circus lady fat land. For most of you this means pouring 300 plus lbs of weight on to you. Two wrapped, mummified legs, that make you look like you are standing on marble pedestals, you wobble a bit when you walk, a large brown hearing aid in your left ear, psoriasis spots all over your body, and dark spots from high androgens in other places. Your teeth are straight and you managed to avoid the curse of acne but let's just say you stand out a bit in public. You are not normal, you do not fit in. You dress well, but the years of staring eyes have taken their toll.

You are an Aspie, which makes you shy and socially incompetent on top of everything else.You are broke enough that your fridge often empties out, some of your clothes date back prior to 9-11 and you live in the lowest socioeconomic class right above the homeless.

When you are a big fat woman, the criticism never ends. After all, society backs up your critics. By their thinking, only BAD people are hugely fat. You did something to deserve it. 

And there is the world telling you every spare minute....You must eat this to be thin. You are not doing enough. You are not dieting right. You are not exercising enough. You must be more. You must achieve. You don't measure up. You must meet this checklist of beauty, personal achievements and relationships to be rendered worthy.

and supposedly.....

If you do all this the "right way", all your hideous scary health problems will disappear as well as all your financial problems. Some will take things a step further and tell you that you must be a bad, wicked, demonized/faithless, lazy person to be so sick and with so many troubles. Trust me I have heard them all.  In one church, one woman pushed me to go to a faith-healer for years.

I know today I have to avoid people who want to CHANGE me or think they can FIX me. Being super-fat can set that up for you. Some people see you as someone to "change" and even if many are well-meaning and want to free you from your desperation, from my experiences "project" friendships usually vaporize once enough time passes and the woeful body has not cooperated yet.. I do have good friends including local ones who love me for myself, but these other experiences have caused me some serious pain.

And then add to this, the decades of  verbal pounding from the family.

Anyone who wants me passing their tests, and gives me goal posts to hop over to prove worthiness tires me out. I had enough of that growing up. 

My parents told me I was a loser. Told I was ugly, never would get marry, was too fat, disgusting, a disgrace, a monstrosity, an embarrassment to the point my mother hasn't eaten a meal out with me or dared to be seen in public with me since 1994, my last year of near normalcy and that I was poor and sick because it was my fault. What did that do to me?

How many people are so abused and have their souls murdered by people like this? When you are young, you don't have other voices helping to drown the negative ones out. You have not formed your identity yet, you are finding yourself. This right here is the extreme pain of those who are scapegoated.

My narcs made criticism an extreme art form. Coming from the perspective that they were perfect, I -could no right. They claimed superiority while they did nothing but nit-pick and fault-find. I do not miss this not at all! I don't need some woman staring down her nose at me, acting like she is better then me for her house, money and thinner body! As a child it was so wrong, that everyday I woke up to extreme verbal warfare and contempt. This ranged from being told that my laugh was annoying to being told that no one liked me. Sometimes I wonder how I survived, being told in so many ways I was no good. Even when they couldn't find something wrong that was blatant, they would then complain about nits, like not putting enough ice cubes in their cup or missing a spot of water on the floor or counter. It never ended. If you ever meet someone who micro-manages to the point of absurdity, they do not really care about the speck of dust or the crooked seam, they either are struggling with obsessive compulsive disorder or are using it to mess with you and try and put you in your place.

People like this turn life into misery, everything about cleaning, neatness, perfection, appearance. They squash joy like a bug on the sidewalk!

I fought against all these messages and have real friends and knew of my positive qualities this was the drive that saved me from utter destruction but inside I always felt I was defective and everything was "my fault". So many years of "I'm sorry". So many years waking up wishing I was someone else, someone thin, rich, successful and "deserving" of love. So many years of shame from those who never have felt the emotion and are totally shameless.

  So many years of being feeling like I had done everything "wrong" surrounded by people while I was growing up incapable of any introspection. Now is the day I say they were wrong! This is the gift of poison the narcs had handed me and which I have to now stomp on and destroy and refuse to drink.  There is such a thing as taking personal responsibility which is a good thing but then carrying the weight of the world on one's shoulders and feeling like you are being called to account for so many things outside of our control does nothing but beat a person down. No longer am I going to answer for my husband's career problems or the choices of other people. I don't want to carry the world's burdens on my shoulders anymore.

How many scapegoats are so burdened? The narcissists programmed us to always be on the alert, always hyper-vigilant to every error, every misspoken word, our very existence was to keep them pleased and from breaking out in a rage. Like little butlers in hell to Satan, we weren't even given orders but prepared to watch for every raised eyebrow for direction. Scapegoats are plagued by self-worth problems. Why wouldn't we be?

Add to that the whole FAT thing, fat people can do no right in a world that does nothing but judges them. How does any of this help? It does not. I wish more fat people would rise up like me and say, "We are sick of it!" Your crap isn't working, now leave me alone!". Maybe some would find out they have medical problems like me, maybe others would be at the weights where they could be active and happy, leaving their critics in the dust! If anything that is something that definitely needs to change in society. Millions of people's lives are being affected in a negative fashion.  Lives are being destroyed.

Should fat people be like the scapegoat that never leaves, accepting insults that never end, being beaten down?

I have seen destroyed fat people you know. Head down, self esteem the size of a pin, begging the world to love them or feeling they have to over-compensate to even be allowed to exist.  I was told I was crazy, insane, "refusing to help myself" and many other things before I got diagnosed with my hormonal problems and also my lipedema. Fat people like scapegoats are beaten down almost daily, this does not do good things to them. I believe to this day if I had not fought, I would have been dead in 1998. I was near 700lbs and so sick, I could not breathe laying down. Getting away from these narcissists has been fighting for my spiritual and emotional life, just like I fought for my physical life all these years.

I am going to change something here. I don't want to hear the criticism anymore. I will take responsibility for things I can control, try to eat healthiest I can, do my exercises, wrap my legs, pay what bills I can but I am asking myself now, "What is RIGHT with you?" Success doesn't come to those who are ripped down from every angle but from those who can build themselves up!


"You Choose to Be This Way!"

I had one of those fat phobic posters post the other day here, the kind that thinks if I only do such and such, I will magically be thin......

Here is my response:

Monday, June 23, 2014

Is The Obesity Crisis Hiding a Bigger Problem?

This is something I hope more research will go into.

ROHHAD in Children: Hypothylamic Obesity

ROHHAD is a disease I ran across while doing other research for this blog. It certainly brings in some questions about obesity since this obesity is brain-based. So much of our weight is brain driven which establishes appetite, metabolism and far more.

Rapid-onset obesity with hypothalamic dysfunction, hypoventilation and autonomic dysregulation (ROHHAD)
What does this mean?
Rapid-onset obesity – Large weight gain in a short amount of time
(15 to 20 lbs in a 6- to 12-month period with onset between 1.5 and 10 years of age.)
Hypothalamic dysfunction – When the hypothalamus does not function properly.  Some symptoms include:
  1. Increased weight gain in short amount of time
  2. Hypothyroidism –Causing fatigue, weight gain, hair and skin changes, cold intolerance
  3. Growth hormone insufficiency
  4. Diabetes insipidus or innapropriate anti-diuretic hormone
  5. Excessive or diminished thirst due to water/salt imbalance
Hypoventilation – Breathing that is not adequate to meet the needs of the body, or reduced lung function Autonomic dysregulation – Impairment of the autonomic nervous system
Some symptoms include:

  1. Altered sweating
  2. Decreased body temperature
  3. Decreased sensitivity to pain
  4. Cold extremities – hands and feet
  5. Bradycardia – decrease in heart rate
  6. Chronic diarrhea or constipation

"One Child Becomes Her Clone"

I found this explanation of the scapegoat/goldenchild dynamic very interesting. Speaking of clones, I have written before how my sister dresses exactly like my mother, in many ways seeking to BE HER, a Mini-Me as it were. I found the comment "She will not open up to anyone not even herself" a very telling and TRUE statement.

Scapegoated Daughter

[language warnings on the videos]

I've listened to many of the videos on Scapegoated Daughter's Channel over the last year. Her story is very hard to listen to, because her parents got her committed against her will, and she has videos on this. I hope she can regain her nursing career back one day. In my state I believe it takes a judge to approve the order and then two doctors signing off to commit someone, they will not leave the decision up to a single cop and relatives like in her state. In my case, I believe my mother got guardianship over Aunt Scapegoat, so that was reason alone to go NC. My physical disabilities alone leave me vulnerable.

Sadly dealing with narcissists does lead to depression so her parents definitely could have used it to "punish her" or tell her "we are the ones in control" not you. Her sadness in even trying to talk to them about anything speaks for itself. In her voice, I hear the same woeful pleas I had years ago in my 20s. She shows emotions they care nothing about. They don't feel the same. One thing I had a thought about is that there is a cycle that scapegoats can fall into, it is not one that is our fault!  I have considered this with my family, where you are so abused, put down, just dealing with one of them or one of their proxies, you are on the verge of tears at any minute, you do feel sad, or angry. You can't smile or be spontaneous. I fear this is one reason the surrounding relationships even deteriorate. Surrounded by psychopaths, doesn't bring out the best traits in people. They are not seeing your best side when you are trying to keep the wolves from having a chow down on you.

Around the age of 30, whenever corresponding with my mother and sister, I took the emotion out of it, my distrust of my mother is so extreme, my letters were re-edited and stripped down like I was writing a court document. One always has to be cautious about what can be used against them when it comes to narcissists.  Write a letter of how depressed they have made you? Then the narcs can use your letter to show to social workers and others to get various things moving. This never happened to me but I know my mother read my diaries and journals. This meant giving up on them until moving out.

 Narcissists feed on the emotions of the scapegoat and love to hear the suffering in your voice. It gives them a thrill. Being an emotional person I was not able to do the stoic thing very well though with age I perfected it. My years of LC except for three slip-ups, I would imagine I was having dinner at the bosses house to get through, I shared nothing and showed no crack of vulnerability. I talked about the weather, art projects, tv shows and fawned over her latest shopping purchases. Problem with that is you do become a stranger to everyone and the second problem is the repressed emotions if you have bad health start coming out in your body. If you visit someone's house where you puke every time you go, this may be a visit to rethink. In Scapegoated Daughter's case, she was young trying to appeal to the rock hard walls, I understand, I wasted years doing this too.   I hope while in the psych ward, she got a few conversations in with the therapists about how her family treated her.

Her mother sounds like mine far too much. Some of the conversations remind me of ones I had at far younger ages, I had almost these same arguments I would ask my mother "Why do you love my sister, so much more"? I would say "I know you hate me." and she would always call me a liar and deny everything  each and every time. I couldn't even get enough emotional investment to tell me the truth on anything. Yesterday I had a memory triggered how mine would be angry all the time and I would as a little kid be asking her over and over, "Why are you mad at me?" and getting no response. I would try to get her to open up and share why she was upset. Her emotions were just part of the game to keep me on edge and manipulate me.  They enjoy your pain. They make the scapegoat the human trash can, where the anger, looks of disgust and hatred can over-spill with little risk. They kick you in the face and walk out and smile to the crowds.

Her sister "Brittany" can do no wrong, and neither could mine. She was superior by far. Her sister replicates the same haughtiness, that mine had and continues to have to this day. Nothing touches her.
I can tell she feels superior and more. One thing the narcissists will team up with the golden child against the scapegoats, this dynamic happens more and more. The mother plays martyr to the golden child placing blame on the scapegoat.  In my mother's eyes my sister never could do any wrong and vice versa.

Her mother's way of speaking is familiar to me, the whole "la dee da" tone, where they do not have one worry and seem to have it all together and know everything. Nothing fazes them. The world is their oyster and by the way everything is wrong with you! I have noticed in the calls I've listened to the mother has never admitted one self doubt, one worry or regret. Scapegoated Daughter's mother pours on more of the phony love lingo and shows less overt rage then mine but that way of speaking was quite familiar to me. One thing to note in every video is how SD is always at fault, the sister is always perfect, and the mother herself is. I hope SD has gone "No Contact".

Thursday, June 19, 2014

War Costs

Senate criticizes Dr. Oz for weight loss claims

It looks like he upset the FDC. Did he try to sell something that actually works? LOL It's not like the powers that be are dealing with obesity that honestly but there are charlatans so over the top, they will call one or two out from time to time. I avoid Dr. Oz's show finding it fat phobic and shallow.  I will have to research more of what this is all about. However, I tend to distrust folks when they claim one fruit, one supplement or juice will magically make you thin like the claims regarding Mangosteen and Green Coffee. Everyone gets so swayed by this stuff, with false hopes that one product will make them skinny and burn all their fat off. There's too much money to be made.

Peep in The Kitchen

A quick sketch and watercolor I did some time ago. I'm cooking away.

Struggling Artists

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Among the Acons

Among the ACONs

"I heard it put once that what they do to us is like declawing a defenseless cat and throwing it into a cat filled alley."

This sums things up well. I got to the gist of this with the Aspie in the Jungle article. Left unprepared, with no back up, thrown into the hard cold world. Survival was learned but came at a cost of my health and well-being. Even today I have to remind myself that kind people abound and will help me because of my past experiences. I was left clawless because everything I did to stand up for myself was taken away. I would start fighting back but it would take years. I was told always to submit and that I was WRONG all the time and to sublimate my own needs and that I didn't deserve anything. She told me I was WRONG to the very end. I was surrounded by blanks, that demanded everything and gave very little in return.

Most humans depend on kinfolk for protection on planet earth, for me the enemies were within the gate and the house, pit bulls ready to shred kitty-cat me into pieces. Narc mother's get out the claw clippers and go snip, snip, snip. "Your needs are unimportant, "You aren't really sick", "You are in the way".  Any standing up for yourself is suppressed.

A deferential personality is formed desiring to people please and keep the Narc Queen happy to throw you a few crumbs or avoid abuse. Your whole position is a puppy bounding around to catch the crumbs that have fallen off the table. The worse thing done to ACONs is they never have the safe place or the family love needed to form self confidence in or those endless subtle social interactions that teach self-protection, self value or self-care. We go out into the world without these tools. Without claws.  The key is to recover these things for ourselves.  I know mine broke others, they didn't break me and for that I am glad.

Sinead O'Connor

I've been going down old music highway. Sinead O'Connor had the most beautiful voice of any singer I ever went to see, and I saw her in concert in 1990. I don't agree with all her viewpoints though she was right to warn about the Pope especially given what was exposed ten years later in 2002. Her songs live on in my memory. This was one of my favorites.

  "Well, you tell us that we're wrong
And you tell us not to sing our song
Nothing we can say will make you see
You got a heart of stone, you can never feel
You say, "Oh, I'm not afraid, it can't happen to me
I've lived my life as a good man
 Oh, no you're out of your mind It won't happen to me"
'Cause I've carried my weight
And I've been a strong man
Listen to the man in the liquor store
Yelling, "Anybody want a drink before the war?"
And your parents paid you through
 You got a nice big car, nothing bothers you
Somebody cut out your eyes, you refuse to see
 Somebody cut out your heart, you refuse to feel
And you live in a shell
You create your own hell
You live in the past
And talk about war
And you dig your own grave, yeah
 But it's a life you can save
So stop getting fussed
 It's not gonna happen
And you'll cry But you'll never fall, no, no, no
 You're building a wall
 Gotta break it down, start again
No, no, no It won't happen to us
We've lived our lives
Basically we've been good men
So stop talking of war 'Cause you know we've heard it all before
Why don't you go out there And do something useful
Oh, listen to the man in the liquor store
He yelling, "Anybody wanna drink before the war?"
"Anybody wanna drink before the war?"
"Anybody wanna drink before the war?"
From MetroLyrics.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

A Soup I Like

I like this soup a lot, What is in it? I found the recipe on line but can't remember where but changed it. I do make up recipes. Maybe cooking is not a good hobby for a 500lb woman, but I do eat far better and do better if I am not eating out, or eating processed stuff. For this soup, I cut up a bunch of fresh mint, cook it with chopped up tomatoes--get good ones, salt and pepper and then add chicken broth, cut up FRESH parsley and some shots of Tabasco sauce. One can add cut up chicken. Add some orzo as you simmer it too if you like and then add a shot of squeezed lemon to it. It actually tastes pretty good even though it is so simple. The picture above is one of my batches.

Lipedema Awareness: Anti-Fat Bias in Healthcare

More Cardmaking

Genteel Poverty Peep: Walking Away From False Shame

There are times I can be happy poor or not, one can find many free things to do, hang out in the park, make art and cards, visiting friends, go to church. Facebook is dangerous for the poor on the envy score as those of normal means seem to have endless money for activities, trips, and other things to do. One should seek contentment as best they can and the simple life has many good attributes, materialism is a dead end, but the fear can get tiresome.

My fear definitely comes from my past.

Once I joked to husband, "Lets move to Appalachia where we will fit in!"! One good friend was talking to me about a diet she was on, and I crossly said, "Diets are for rich people, where they voluntarily go without certain foods, I involuntarily go without what I would choose to eat all the time.  A poor week means too many bananas, turkey sandwiches and spaghetti but then I had the days when  I even had to spend a small amount of money set aside, my emergency fund for needing the car towed or a cab fare, for food two weeks ago. Our bank account just to pay bills with no external shopping save for 25 bucks I spent on art/craft supplies 3 months ago and 10 bucks on some Chinese food is scoured out.

    My frustration levels regarding functional life have hit a zenith. What has happened to me? Why can't we get it together? Aren't most people on disability poor?

How do I stop blaming myself? Is that a result from my upbringing? The years of severe poverty especially in that crime ridden metro city I almost did not escape, have marked me, every time the money is low, it seems to take me back to my days of desperation. I remind myself as long as the system has not collapsed, my rent will be paid, that the me of today lives in a safer small town where there is help for the poor,  medical care, a transport system for the disabled, that friends and others would help me, but can one get PTSD from poverty? The answer is Yes.

The smirks that live on the face of my mother in my head viewing my slum apartment seventeen years ago are ones I never want to see again.  Today I tell myself, "You don't have to worry about being put down by them ever again." There is definite relief in that. No more looks of disgust.

How do I become happier? How do I stop walking around with the "I'm scared" cloud hanging over my head. Sometimes it seems to sneak in like a cloud of smoke through a window. And it's always money stress that triggers it all off? I am praying on this one big time. For those of you who deal with this how do you manage? I get rid of this only to have it creep back in.

How do I help my husband who has suffered from the demise of newspapers, he freelances, but with his own health problems and caretaking duties of me, it is a struggle for him. He is on the cusp of disability himself.  Life definitely did not go the way he expected, even being an assistant editor of a small town newspaper years ago. His health is showing the affects of our struggles too. I feel very sad about this.

  I have nightmares, about being homeless and in front of my mother's large house begging. Who wants to crawl back for abuse in that scenario? That is a nightmare.

  One thing about me I am like those old grandmothers from the Depression who saved every rubber band and plastic bowls without the hoarding. They weren't ashamed of themselves for having been poor, they just gone on with it. I hope I can be like them one day. The shame seems to be a poisonous inheritance, I have to throw in the trash to move on.

I think about all the people who were brought up by narcissists who were told the amount in the bank account denoted their worth.

One thing about being poor is all the silence, living in a country where they deny what is happening to millions is not an easy thing. I see the nibbling edges of economic decline here now too, in my town restaurants and other businesses are closing all over the place. My last rural town basically had an unspoken economic collapse, with over a thousand abandoned homes. There is part of me saying not again. Maybe I am overreacting but when you see endless restaurants and business shutting down it makes you worry. Many stores seem to be closing in America as they tell us how great the economy is. You can tell no one has any expendable income left even the better off who are facing increasing bills themselves too to meet all their obligations. It seems the pressure is on everyone now.

At least too I know God feels differently about the poor too. 

James 3:5 Hearken, my beloved brethren, Hath not God chosen the poor of this world rich in faith, and heirs of the kingdom which he hath promised to them that love him?

Overall I think I will do and feel better to free myself of the shame my narcissistic family gave me for being of limited economic means and just go day by day trying the best we both can, and pray to God for help to deal with the fear. Hopefully that will help me in overcoming these struggles.
Two Thirds of Generation X Poorer Then Their Parents at the Same Age

Friday, June 6, 2014

Charles Bukowski on Life

One of my favorite poets, yes he drank too much and wasn't too good with the women, but had many interesting things to say.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Diet and Exercise Don't Work on Lipedema

Lipedema is Genetic

No one in my family has it. Even my father's side if he was a would be-carrier, no female relative on his side had it, older or younger either. Of course it's not on my mother side either.

Bad Fatties/Good Fatties

I think these people overall meant well making this chart, but sometimes "speech rules" always rub me the wrong way. Why wouldn't some of us defend ourselves and tell the TRUE STORY of HOW WE GOT FAT? If anything we need less shame and blame and some truth telling rather then some political correct types telling us to keep our mouths shut.

12 Good Fatty Archetypes

I know #3 fits my blog with it's extreme, sordid tales of a 400lb weight gain, lipedema, PCOS and hypothyroidism.

Obviously with those final questions, they follow political the ethos of "privilege" which has been warned about on this blog. Do I gain privilege being a "no-fault" fatty? Well it's not like I wear a sign on my head or wear a shirt saying "Im a LIPPY, leave me alone!"

If anything fat people like me should be screaming from the rooftops, because I am sure there are poor fat women who are deceased years ahead of time for having ignored medical conditions. So I am not going to shut up to be politically "correct" for some fat activist's Harrison Bergeron dream. In my case, I believe obesity is physiologically caused in the majority of cases and have sympathy even for the rare psychological eating disorder case wondering what abuse they went through.

The fat unicorns definitely exist, why mock them? I see people all the time who are fat and eat the same or better then thin ones. Here we have issues of metabolism that are ignored.

By the way I started sleeping 13 hours a day again, and noticed my TSH was jacked up, oh and I gained a little bit of weight too on less food and more exercise and REDUCED LEGS. Which absolutely petrifies me but my eyes-balls are drying out half the time which to me screams THYROID. The doctor gave me more thyroid medicine. Everyone tells me they never have met anyone who needs 500 mcgs of Synthroid. I have to ask another doctor if we can try Armour, two have turned me down.

Fat people are assumed to be BAD by the world. I don't see anything wrong with claiming a bit of goodness and truth telling. We didn't choose these bodies, and I think it's okay to let the world well know it. No more silence people! Don't serve the diet industry inversely.