Monday, September 30, 2019


[seen on facebook]

To carry this metaphor forth properly I would not put a nice piece of furniture, but a pile of busted up firewood, you thought would end up as a good piece of furniture.

Friday, September 20, 2019


Many deconvert realizing only a sociopath would send people to burn in hell for eternity. In the early 2010s, I had loved friends die who were not of the "right' religion according to the evangelical and Christian rules regarding heaven. That haunted me for years until I decided to push through the fear and face facts in questioning such toxic beliefs.

An Even Crazier Diet Forbids Water


 I got myself into another internet argument. I am probably wasting my time, people can do what they want with their lives. Go starve yourself if that will make you happy. The no water diet is going to a new level of insanity and some are playing with death though. Some of us watching this are very afraid for the people including the lady above signing up.

This is what I wrote to 500lb Fasting Lady who is attempting these diets:

"Fat people can starve in that mal-nutrition is a problem for many overweight people especially those with severe Lipedema. In fact scientists have proven mal-nutrition is common in obese people. I believe people take in more calories then they need because the body is hungering for real nutrition that is lacking in our adulterated food. 

If you read my blog I questioned some of size acceptance for years, but this stuff you are signing up for is just more of the usual crash diets that destroy health. Fat phobia and hate is why you literally believe you don't even deserve water. Man that diet, blew my mind. Even prisoners used to get bread AND water for heaven's sake. You are putting your kidneys at risk with that. If you want to suffer go for it. I am not masochist I guess enough for this sick society.

Women with severe Lipedema take enough fat phobia and abuse for a life time. You are young and have internalized your own fat oppression. Sure starve yourself but your body will suffer for it.

Really you look thin on top, your face could be on a 200lb woman, find out if YOU have Lipedema though your legs look kind of thinner. Look into sleep apnea, thyroid and other conditions that put on weight. If you did have an eating disorder seek to solve it, and eat three regular meals a day.

Oh they told me I would die at 28, I turned 51, so be careful of having the doom and gloomers screw with your mind. Maybe my life span won't be as long being fat but I know I'd be dead a hell of a lot sooner on crazy ass diets. Go to a gym too, Planet Fitness is cheap. I still go to mine. I found out I had severe autoimmune problems and severe Lipedema after a life time of being beaten up for being fat.

I have had my fill of false promises in the diet world as well religion. Funny how they overlap. So is the gist now that fat people are so hideous, they must literally starve themselves and go without water. Screw that! I was laughing at the guy who called his diet the Snake Diet, like SNAKE OIL!

I was going to write about the state of size acceptance soon. Some of my mind has changed about it. I still have some misgivings that as Americans especially are fattened up by a toxic society, that these thing are ignored. Increased CO2 levels have been linked to increased obesity by scientists, With size acceptance, I still have some of my health worries regarding size acceptance.

Society seems to be slipping into something psychotic regarding fat, the crash diets and other extreme measures seem to be worsening and becoming more extreme. Some of these people claim they all have science behind them.

I told 500lb Fasting Lady, I have gone without eating, from illness. In 2013, when I believed I was dying but it was dozens of kidney stones going through my system at once, I would go upwards of three days with NO FOOD at all. If I tried to drink juice it would be puked up. It was DRY HEAVING because food disappeared pretty fast. I didn't have weight loss miracles or 28lbs lost from no food for a few days. I find those claims odd. Later illnesses have also suppressed eating. I know what it is like to be too sick to eat for days. It did not bring me improved health.

There's a lot of people who want fat people to suffer even risk DEATH not to be fat anymore. Why should us fat people buy into all the claims? I never have seen a supersized person become a thin person before in my entire life, and I've known a lot of fat people. Some who get to extreme weights and get medical care, can get a 200lb chunk off like I did, that happens. The yo-yo diet brigade kept it up for years around me. All believe in the special diet that will rescue them. It's like a religion and like the promises of religion says heaven will come if you suffer enough or follow the directions of the priest/trainer or diet salesman. Maybe next fat people will walk down the street on 100 mile walks, oops that's already happened like the fat guy claiming he would lose weight bicycling across America.

Fat people need to be done with proving themselves to others. The mea culpa suffering has reached new heights. Maybe to these people I am a hedonistic bitch who won't give up food, but I don't want their life of suffering and pain either. I was young and tried starvation too. Starvation just messed me up. I was so poor I went without food all the time, and it just made me fatter. I'm struggling with mal-nutrition from my health problems, keeping enough vitamins coming in is not easy. The anemia is scary. I can't eat beef without getting sick. Even small amounts of sugar are dangerous to me like in a glass of orange juice because of thrush. .

People can judge me. No one questions why are these fat people having to starve themselves to lose weight in the first place? Does this mean something is wrong with their bodies and they aren't processing food correctly? Do thin people go days and days without eating? I see thin women at my book clubs always go for a couple cookies I can't dare to touch.

For many fat people, the metabolism drops like a rock during starvation experiments. So these people tell them, you can starve your way into thinness, I'm done with being unhappy. Diets suck. Crazy crash diets suck even more and a diet forbidding you water is JUST INSANE.

Fat Hatred Brings Profit and Attention? The Snake Diet Guy Goes on an extreme Fat Hatred Spiel. Warning full of cuss words and hate. Is this someone anyone should take medical advice from? Just another sickening bigot. He sounds like one of those "red pill' people. Nauseating. Literally.

Monday, September 9, 2019

The Lipedema World is Too Caught up With Crazy Diets Instead of Finding a CURE.

I can't stand Lipedema boards anymore on Facebook, it's diet central, and not just your run of a mill Weight Watchers diets. Some of them have now jumped on the bandwagon of Keto gone extreme, there's now a diet, where people eat nothing but meat. It's called the Carnivore Diet.  

Some of the Keto fanatics have decided that carbs are so evil, that they should be done away with entirely. One woman announced to me that vegetables were bad for you. I am so mal-nutritioned, that doctors ordered nursing care for me three months ago, to get to the root, I had to show diet journals, on exactly what I was eating and more. They realized the cause wasn't what I was eating but medical.

I am having serious problems with anemia, that are scary. The anemia could be related to my connective tissue disorder. My red blood cells are often too small. It is coming and going. Sometimes it makes me break out in extreme sweats. I am re-adding some beef to the diet, trying to be cautious, due to the kidney stones. I am low on multiple vitamins. Yesterday's food included a hardboiled egg, some cooked turnips and carrots, pistachios, a peach, one chicken breast, an apple, a turkey sandwich, and some canned soup that had a little bit of spinach and carrots in it so I am attempting to have the diet be variable for nutrition and to hedge my bets on the nutritional and vitamin deficiencies. Today I had eggs and mushrooms and peppers for breakfast and will have cooked cauliflower with onions for a soup at lunch with a sandwich, and probably left over chicken with peppers, tomatoes, probably cooked in some type of burrito dish or casserole.

I think people who think they can be healthy eating all meat are insane. I would be doubled over with the bowels checking out and it would be kidney stone city. I wonder if they will like scurvy? Are they promoting "functional anorexia" in some Lipedema circles so some women in less severe stages won't get so large? It makes me wonder. Fasting, and extreme diets are the name of the game. I find myself thinking, "Oh great, I have a rare fat woman's disease, where everyone just sees fat, and they have no interest in focusing on a real medical cure, they'd rather focus on starving us all so we comply-body wise".

I have given up on diets. Maybe it's size acceptance, maybe I am just too damn physically hungry all the time. Maybe I got sick of it all realizing it didn't work. Maybe I have to eat a certain way to avoid headaches, digestive hell, and to just stay alive.  Maybe it's realizing severe dieting forced me on insulin or that the diabetes WORSENS when I have LESS food. I have noticed my blood sugars are far better when I eat what I want and when I want it--when hungry. Today's was 125. I know I will stay supersized for life. Diets brought me nothing but shame, blame, misery, and depression, and never worked on me anyway.

I don't want to eat some extreme nutso way, to have a normal body. One woman told me Carnevore is not a calorie restricted way of eating and that it was the opposite of starving and high in fat, and would keep hunger away. She told me carbohydrates cause hunger and to include offal to avoid nutritional deficiencies. I am allergic to liver and know that offal creates very high levels of uric acid so found this advice dubious as well. She told me, "We don't need any dietary carbohydrates." [what!!!?]

For my own sanity, I am going to avoid those boards. Too many women only care about how they look, and the judgment on a supersized person in those circles is too immense. They cry over being 210lbs so 500lbs would not be acceptable. Some do lose fat weight but their swollen legs and hips remain. Some are obsessed about weight to a degree that is psychologically harmful especially to someone like myself whose taken multiple decades of abuse over being overweight.  It makes me upset that the central focus is on the fat weight and not on why our lymph systems have failed. It troubles me that there will be no real cure or help for this disease and people will keep dying, and blamed and shamed for "not losing enough weight."

I still go to the gym by the way, was there twice last week and this Saturday, can do 20 minutes on the arm bicycler, am doing the rope pull which I like to build stamina. I like the gym, just wish my overall fatigue was not so bad, to keep up with.

I have given up on weight loss dreams and find it all absurd and depressing. I made it to my 50s which I guess is something since everyone said I would be dead by 35 for being so fat.  I hope I don't gain weight and need to maintain my mobility but there's no way I am going to sign on to any crazy diet that makes me feel like shit all day long.

There's a certain point where people's advice sucks. I wonder what is going on in the Lipedema world that these crazy diets are being advanced and I am disappointed as hell about it all. It often is not a supportive or good psychological place for a supersized woman to be. If I am feeling this way, how many other stage 4 people  are feeling like I do or even worse because they may be immobile or bigger seeing their health communities betray them this way?  I consider it a betrayal, having crazy diets shoved down my throat. Some seem to be true believers too, like their diet will bring the promised land. Well I know how often people push their false promises. If men, had Lipedema except a few rare ones, the answers wouldn't be more diets, more would be done.

America, the Gerontocracy

 America, the Gerontocracy

Some years ago I was ranting and raving a bit on my blog, and wrote that boomers were going to grab us by the throat and not let go even as they shuffled off this mortal coil. Some people took offense and said I was generalizing too much but what I was ranting about has HAPPENED. I don't think every boomer is bad and I support Bernie who is old as the hills too, but I look at our present system and notice how the most narcissistic generation in history has managed to block out Gen X from any positions of power!  We are getting OLD ourselves, well into our 50s! Gen X never got a voice!

I would like a few politicians make decisions who will actually be around in the next 15 years. They can be selfish, and burn down the earth [literally!] as they won't be here to suffer the consequences. In times past, older people used to care about what happened to the young. With too many, that's obviously been lost in America. While the young grow poorer, so many put them down and call them "entitled snowflakes" and refuse to hear their cries of desperation. We used to get some decent statesmen that wanted to leave the world a better place, now we have Orange Hitler where if it does good for someone else like welfare or environmental protections, he wants to destroy it, like the sociopathic toddler he is.

Young people you need to vote. I know both parties suck. I am so fed up with the Democratic party I want to throw up. I worry Biden will be put in to keep the status quo, however if you vote, they can only cook so many numbers. People need to stand up. Young people need to defend their future.

Millennials Vote or the Gerontocracy Will Kill Us All

America Without Family, God or Patriotism

 America Without Family, God or Patriotism

The raised by narcissists life has many deciding families suck, living hundreds of miles or more from extended relatives, meeting up with the would be "strangers' means nothing. Suburban life is soul-less to the young especially who don't have the money to replicate it. God, supports the Republican party ensuring more destitution for anyone but boomers, and has let us all down too especially in conservative churches that support the lower wages and extreme authoritarianism. National Pride? Three miles down the road I get to see burnt out buildings and we are dodging pot holes that are a foot or more deep so a wheel doesn't fall off our car.