Are Americans Forced to Act Happy Too Much?

some of the philosophies that cause us trouble. {the message being if you got a lot of weeds, it's your fault}

I sometimes wonder if my real ethnic ancestry is one where the people tend to be more emotional.

You know wave your hands, cry and write sad poetry. Some groups of people in the world are more known for open expressive emotions. Some will say this is a nature vs. nuture thing. Maybe this is why I didn't fit in with my closed mouth stoic narcissistic family. There was never any hand waving or open laughter or much expression.

I imagine myself living in a small village where I could have been an artist, and shared emotions from good to bad. I don't know where this idealized view of life came from. Maybe some will think I am cracked with these weird visions of life. Am I Hungarian? I'm guessing based on my looks. What am I? I once thought whatever I am, it doesn't fit in with the people I grew up with.

Same for American society. This place is getting crazy.

There is all this focus in America of being the closed mouth, smiling, happy, "winner". It goes along with the "Think Positive" stuff I've talked about on this blog.  I wanted to share some comments that other posts wrote when I posted this article:

Why You Never Tell People Your Problems. 

One commenter shared some ideas I totally agree with:

WELL, I AGREE that we need to have boundaries; but you are saying, because yer problems are not solveable, you can't get comfort and sympathy from friends.


THAT HAS become an "American-problem," I read in a depression work-book.this society wants everyone to not look unhappy,but BE CHEERFUL all the time.the book said,that's why we have such alcoholism, drug addiction,depression,and self-destructive behaviors. this society is WRONG. --IT WAS ALWAYS OK,YEARS AGO,for communities to share problems,get support,give comfort,help each other--And BE THERE for each other. NOW you have to call a "support line" or "suicide-help-line" and talk to them.there's often no family support--and/or community support. the SOCIETY IS SICK. SICK SICK!!you should still be able to get comforting, sympathy,support from friends, clergy,rabbis, for yer problems. it is the society that's sick and cruel,not you. Even the depression book said that!!our society is sick,.and cruel!!hey, you want to call me,or complain on my blog, go ahead, i tell you my pains, you can tell me yours.i am not afraid to hear painful stuff.And a generous,caring person(s) does not flee from the pain of friends.When we share this stuff, it becomes less.I believe that. you could not talk to more reserved folks, but there are people who care, besides the scared people around. :)

I agree with the above. This is one reason America are one of the most depressed nations on earth. To have problems means you are a bad person. To be "negative" is the worse sin you can commit as you are told you must ignore what is going around you and always "make the best of it".  Yes here too, I'll tell you my pains and you tell me yours.  Many of us know what it is to be judged for not being happier and "together". Happiness has become a race in America pure and simple. We all want to be happy don't we but when happiness is a race isn't part of the point being lost?

Most of us melancholics, already inside struggle thinking, "We should be happier".  Inside we question the dark clouds that encroach upon our hearts. Sometimes we get our times, appreciating what we can. I appreciate my husband, and like doing art and watching movies, but then it gets tiring, we do get sad, and it's scarier being sad, when the world around you demands that you present a certain look and where honest emotions are so disdained.  I do things like take pictures of butterflies and try and enjoy what I can.

As a disabled person too, there is this unwritten contract, that I must always be an "inspiration" to the healthy and not overburden people with my fears and pain.. Depression as a whole is getting worse because everyone feels ALONE in their problems. How come there's no other poor people for me to talk to in person?

Many people are boozing it up and drugging it, to kill emotions inside so they can keep the demanded smile on their face and be well liked even though they are dying inside.  The commenter is right, now people pour their hearts out on support lines to strangers. They pour their hearts out on blogs like this one.

Many families in America especially narcissistic ones are no longer places of support and comfort but braggart fests where the cost of admission is an equal income and bragging about trophy, children, vacations and more. At least in the last Depression in America, you could admit a depression was going on. My commenter continued:

"Yes,if you're Jewish,"kvetching", complaining, is common ok among Jewish people.Everyone does it; you don't get condemned.Kvetching is almost THERAPUTIC.To kvetch,is to get the pain out,and having kvetched,the pain is less.People who keep stuff inside get sick from it.---is Jewish reasoning.


Research on surgery patients looked at pre-surgery patients who complained,were emotional,ect, before surgery, had better after surgery results, did better.Surgery patients who were very stoic,calm,said nothing,before surgery, did not do quite as well with after-surgery physical coping. So even surgery-research on complaining yielded these results. If you live in a culture where "kvetchng" back and forth between people is deemed NORMAL,and ok, you may have a culture that helps everyone get support,and catharsis,and everyone is mentally and maybe even physically healthier. 


Look at the physical health of the stressed, hard working person who is VERY WASP, very "corporate-modern",and always keeps up a happy face.Chances are,he may drink too much,or even be a secret drinker. Maybe he gets HIGH a lot with friends,even coke.His heart-health,blood pressure,and other physical problems, iike ulcers, indigestion,insomnia, ect., may not be very good. Having to "act happy,and cheerful" all the time is very wearing. A kvetching-culture may be a lot healthier.--for both the complainer and the sympathetic ear. And it works well both ways.The CONNECTION is healthy.

Oh this is true too. The "keeping face" stuff is making people sadder. When you always have to keep a front on and can't get real, how is that any good for anyone? Here too boundaries are important but now in our narcissistic culture even just admitting you have a problem is seen as a weakness to be preyed upon by narcissists. People aren't as relaxed or open with each other anymore. In the work world, yes, the "professionals" are told they must always appear in control. One thing that is happening is problems now get shoved under the carpet because people are scared of complaining or "looking bad' or making a mistake. What would a society be like where people could complain?

Here is another issue, one commenter raised that us ACONs can deal with.

"I have mixed feelings here. Part of the reason I've hit this problem as an ACON and trauma survivor is simply that most people are used to a 'normal life' that I don't share at all, and a lot of them are easily shocked at violations of that norm, especially when it comes to families. The most innocent conversation topic can be full of landmines. Someone mentions parents? Mine are dead. Oh, you're sorry? Well, my NF's death was overall a pretty positive event for me... My only alternative to letting all this spill out is to not say anything about my life at all.."

I wrote back a longer response but this is something I deal with too. One thing I believe that caused me trouble socially around here, is I admitted being an ACON in a local self help group. This was a mistake. Even other people struggling with depression even severe depression who have had normal loving families don't get us. During normal social small talk and other times, it can be tough. People are talking about their families, their children, their vacations, their jobs, and I've had that problem too, "What do I talk about?" I can talk about art a bit and like to listen to people talk about themselves but then what do I tell them? There's so many landmines and so much "bad" stuff showing--I'm on a walker, have a very disfiguring illness as bad as the Elephant Man in some ways. Just being there I'm already a Debbie Downer. Add in struggles with depression and I'm faking it to make it more then half the time.

Then add in the "Be positive or else" edicts they are unloading on people and it seems people are afraid of anything that is real or different or "too intense" and it makes social interaction harder and more difficult.

One thing that has occurred to me is the troubles of my last 8 years was having a life I built be dismantled and it's been hard to build another life. Back then my family was a non-issue, I was VLC and kept them off the radar screen but socially I could appear normal by saying "Oh yes I saw my mother at Thanksgiving". This NC process has been harder because in the last few years I have been dealing with abuse issues and the rest, I kept in the fog for years before but then it became more on my mind. I compartmentalized things during those earlier years and acted like things were normal when they were far from it.

Socially I have now taken the tactic of just letting people believe my family is deceased with new people. I don't want them there standing in the room anymore. They aren't in my life. Some may see this as dishonest but it's easier. I have to manage more of my own boundaries. In my husband's case, most of his family IS deceased as a result of World War II and his parents both dying in their mid 60s. Some local acquaintances and friends have asked me "Why don't you two have a family?" because I live in a very family focused area, where even single and childless people have cousins, aunts, uncles and others. Saying that one is estranged is actually too much information for most.

Years ago I wrote that I had a rule never to tell anyone you were an ACON unless you have known them for two years, and even now I am realizing that is not safe and not even many "friends" will even get it and people will indeed see you as the problem instead of your rotten family. People will naturally think, well if their own family hated them what good are they?. Our trauma and PTSD results and other things upset people. They do not understand and well, that is one thing I struggle with, knowing in some cases, I let a few in too far. When I am around people who can admit their faults, things for me socially are far better, but in a "saving face" group of people, I'm screwed because too many problems SHOW even through my physical body alone. If someone believes in the think positive edicts, things can fail there too because I feel like every word is being put through a screen.

It does feel harder to get close to people then it did when I was younger. I am not sure what this is about or if it is from some of my own problems, but I am old enough to feel like society changed in an insidious way. People could hang looser years ago. You could complain about your job or say the weather stinks or "Man I am broke this week" without judgment. You could be more real. Now it's like everything is measured and scripted and you always have to appear on top. It's kind of scary.

When Life itself in a narcissistic society becomes a "Bragging Contest" where one's own happiness is to be measured as to whether you are a good person or not. That is causing a lot of this nonsense. Did you know the Bible warns about the "pride of life"? [1 John 2:16] It's something I have thought about in regards to this. Happiness is not supposed to be a contest or a demand, in fact it ruins that happiness. It's like the smiles of people in a cult, "keeping sweet". If you don't like me because I am too melancholic, then that's no help to anyone.

Why You Never Tell People Your Problems

Is this meme the outcome of a narcissistic society?

Why You Never Tell People Your Problems

"Stick with me on this one because it isn't going to seem "right" at first, but if you focus on the angle I'm approaching this topic at, you'll see the point I'm trying to make.

Everybody has problems.  And everybody has friends.  And part of having friends or loved ones is to share your problems.  You need a sounding board, you need to vent, and doing such things are healthy and expected.  However, when you unload and vent, it is usually problems that are not dire, nor insurmountable.  You got a cold, you boss is being a jerk, the weather sucks, whatever, they all have an end and a solution, and are thus surmountable. 

But then there are problems that are terminal. There is no solution.  There is only one outcome.  There is no end.  And if there is one, the cost is not only great, but nothing can be done to stop it.  Things like terminal sickness, bankruptcy, divorce, etc.  And it is here you need to be very selfless and think this one through.

Say the economy has gone south and you are imminently approaching bankruptcy.  There is nothing you can do about it.  It is going to happen.  It is outside of your control.
Do you tell your friends about it?  Do you complain to your loved ones about it?

The answer is no, and let me explain why.

Just as you are powerless to stop this horrible thing from happening, so to are your friends and loved ones.  And in complaining to them or telling them about your unsolvable problem, you put them at unease because they are powerless and helpless to do anything about it.  It is human nature to want to help, but if help is just not possible you unconsciously make your friends feel uncomfortable and powerless.

........

 For example, have you ever had a friend whose loved one got cancer, or your friend got cancer him/herself?  And upon hearing the news you don't know what to say because, well, what can you say?  "I'm sorry?"

That's about all you can do.  You are completely helpless and thus have nothing to say.

Worse still, you can exacerbate this situation, with your "terminal" problem.  Because of the severity of these terminal problems, you don't just mention it once to your friends and then it goes away.  It's a terminal problem, it will be with you until it terminates.  And because of it's severity, it is going to be the single largest topic weighing heavily on your mind.  You will want to tell somebody about it, in perhaps a subconscious attempt to find a non-existent solution, but all you will do is drive them further away because you make it so uncomfortable.

Now, am I saying, you NEVER tell anybody you got cancer or that you filed for bankruptcy or your spouse left you?  No, but I am saying once you make the declaration, there is nothing to gain by revisiting your unsolvable problem with friends and loved ones.

In short the lesson is to consider the position your friends and loved ones are in.  They are already your friends, they are already your loved ones, but unless it is within their power to do anything, constantly bringing up major problems you have (no matter how much they are affecting your life) only pushes people further away.  Love and appreciate your friends and loved ones, be selfless enough not to hound them with your unsolvable problems.
*************************************************************

Tell me HONESTLY what you think of the above. I have erred greatly in some friendships talking about problems too much. I was always trying to do "right" by this and would try to make sure I was balancing out negative and positive things and that I was being a "good" friend and listening to them too but it seemed I still upset people.

Socially I am failing and upsetting people without meaning to. It's like my cup is over-run with emotions and too much spilled over. Maybe this guy is right about the process I have gone through. Obviously I talked about a lot of problems on this blog too. My blog will continue but the life stuff needs fixed.

Being vulnerable in America society can be tough. Vulnerability means being kicked in the face by the toxics but it can be complicated beyond that. We played several bad hands and well, how long can one boo-hoo over one's bad hand in life that is unfixable without driving people crazy? One friend even told me at this conjecture, I should accept some things and this is true. I don't want to spend the rest of my life banging my head on the wall. I am just going to "BE".

 Outside of very few friendships and this blog, I'm talking 2-3, I started going very quiet about a year ago. I knew telling people any problems was bringing me bad things. I didn't go crazy with public and outer circle people but I realized fast even mild statements like "I am on disability, or I am estranged from my this relative" while providing no other details brought bad social outcomes to me.   I had to learn to become more private.

This can be a lesson that ACONs have to learn because we were never taught boundaries and then I realized the social rules I was breaking even as an Aspie. Something seems to have changed in society too where saving face has become even more important.

I actually knew that I had to STOP, and only talk about positive things within many circles and other friends. Some groups I kept enjoying like my book clubs, and more, but I didn't grow close to anyone so it was the activities themselves left to be enjoyed. With other outer circle friends and activity pals, I would discuss art and trips they took and other topics.

I actually quit going to my self-help and depression group recently, because I told my husband, "Look we have had these same problems for years, and we have not been able to solve them. People don't want to hear them anymore." The people who were left in the group were nice people, it wasn't them. It was us. We can't reiterate problems over and over that have remained unsolvable. People get frustrated with you. Also we are allowing a point of vulnerability there. This guy is right about "terminal" problems in that there are problems in life which are not solvable.

There's a little bit about that, which bugs me, there is something in American society where only success matters.  At the same time I was freeing myself from the narcissists in the family I was coming out of some spiritual abusive stuff too and leaving a church I no longer agreed with.  I had this drive in me to "fix things and figure them out". Some would call that rumination but they did not understand the thinking or motive behind it.  They didn't realize as I was getting away from my abusers, the emotions and things I didn't talk about. I'm the one living in this body and brain. Sometimes I get tired worrying about what are the right and wrong things to say and tiring of the endless social and other errors. It's enough to have one become a hermit. Socially I feel extremely stressed lately outside of my marriage and few relationships.

I often had the thought I was tied down to my problems even when I didn't want to be. I could only hide so much. When I didn't come up with the socioeconomic and other goods, people were angry.

One thing that worries me, is people do seem to judge me so much and without reservation. I feel so judged lately it is killing me. So many seem to focus on my imperfections and maybe part of it is my fault, because I allow myself to be too vulnerable.

I desire to be close to people and open my heart too wide. I think of things I could criticize in people but it is not something that occurs to me to treat people like this in turn and start taking them apart piece by piece and telling them what they are doing wrong. One day, I cried to my husband, he is someone I can be absolutely real with, and said,  "Why is everyone so much into correcting me?" Perhaps it is my fault, they have taken that approach towards me.  If we open the door to discussing problems, some mean well and want to "fix" the problems, so maybe this guy is right we are only frustrating some people and bring trouble to our relationships. We open the door to some bad stuff. 

Yes, I consider this a negative societal trend by the way, that people no longer can share and be open with others. Everything seems to be a competition nowadays. Learning to deal with the reality and world we are stuck with, is not easy.

Even with the low contact relatives, I started telling myself, keep your mouth shut about anything "negative." They can't fix the problems with your mother or sister or the other narcissists. With the niece who later parted ways from me I said as little negative as humanly possible. I can't figure out if I said too much or if I simply became too boring and superficial because of this. I slipped up the other day with one who was playing flying monkey, but this is the general rule I try to adhere to. I am not even sure there is even a "relationship" with any of the "nicer" relatives.  The well was poisoned long ago, I know that part is not my fault.

So much of life for me anyway is suppressing myself outside of writing on these blogs. With some "friends" earlier on, I was doing outright censorship and repression of my emotions because there was so much bad and scary stuff especially as I was going through the no contact process, and I still failed and upset people. Some were toxics but they used the vulnerabilities to hurt me. Isn't it a bad sign when you have to start to second guess everything you say to people?

 Maybe I appear "weak" to others.   I can't fix endless problems and the some of craziness spilled over.  All the expectations and demands of this world clashed with my reality. I need freedom from the bean counters, and self improvement people.

Sometimes I think it is the society I live in, American society 2016, where you must always be on top and unsolvable problems mean you are a bad person. Sometimes I think it is me.

  The "bright-sided" stuff went from being a muzzle to ball and chain and a muzzle. There is this bad feeling of feeling like one is being forced underground where you must hide all your problems [emotions or true self] or suffer the consequences. I always fear that relationships where I must start censoring are doomed for failure. Some seem to get angry at anyone who shows too much depression, or fear or pain for their standards. Why is that? That's not me. I feel kind of beaten down by people telling me what is wrong with me. On my end, I'll be careful of not dumping too many problems on individual people but socially I am beyond exhausted. I wish I could be open without someone using it to tell me I am a "bad" person.

Tell me what do you think of what that guy wrote. Do you struggle with wondering what you can talk about with people anymore? Do you feel uncomfortable as an ACON in this world? Maybe I worry about what others think too much. Maybe I don't. Maybe it's time to go hide in a cave or something. Well I will keep blogging at least.

Mind Control for Autistics

This may shock a few of you but Aspie me actually worked in autism special ed rooms as a substitute teacher. The children would be drawn to me but I became horrified by the "programs" these rooms had in place and actually started avoided substitute teaching in those settings and just taking mainstream assignments.

I once got in trouble because an aide put one of the autistic students in a bodily restraint, and I told them they were going overboard, the child was not doing anything "dangerous" or hurting anyone else. She got me written up for interfering and "ruining discipline". The whole mess was traumatizing. I saw three classroom settings where they literally LOCKED up the kids. No, I am not kidding. Remember in my case, I was locked in my room over and over as a child for hours. So to say this was triggering to me, is probably an understatement of the century.

One looked like a large giant cage for dogs with a desk in it. This was over 20 years ago, but I remember this one being "too small" for the child to stand in but hope that is my memory playing tricks on me because the other thought is kind of horrific. One was a school where they seemed to mix sociopaths and Aspies willy-nilly, I had one of my hardest days as a substitute teacher there ever. One fat and Aspie girl was preyed on by at least two classmates with severe personality disorders and history of violence. I was used to tough kids, but those two raised the hair on the back of my neck.

Their solution at that school for behaviors there, was to lock up the kids in a wooden closet with holes in it. I would have been screaming and misbehaving too. I never locked up any kids or ordered it while running the classrooms. Even though I had worked in a juvenile home setting where the kids were literally locked up, one day at this place was enough and I never returned.

We were forced to use some mind control program at the residential home I worked at. It was a behaviorism program. Our clients were not locked up in any "seclusion rooms" or areas there, but they were awarded points and privileges in a system that seemed designed to encourage teaching teens to manipulate. They couldn't even go to the bathroom without permission.  I was supposed to give positive points for them eating a meal and not throwing the food or tearing the dining room apart. It combined control freak mandates with lowered expectations.  It brought out the worse in the personality disordered. My entire day was spent threatening to take off points or add them on for the smallest behaviors. I hated this system and even our interactions with the clients were scripted, leading to a sense of unrealness and inability to form a "real" relationship with them.

 I felt the program got in the way of teaching the teens a true sense of morality or self development. I learned something about myself at this job, that I am not a good enforcer of rules I find "stupid", and I was often deemed a trouble maker. I refused to do any physical take-downs or physical restraints unless a teen was trying to hurt themselves or hurt others, and I was constant berated for this and told this is why I had "no control". Some of my co-workers were insane future wannabe TSA workers, and one strong-arm woman, would knock one of the girls to the ground and put her in a lock-hold simply for mouthing off, or refusing to wash the dishes fast enough.

I knew this mother of an autistic who was into the "token" programs and the rest for her severely autistic daughter. She was a high school classmate and we had Facebook contact. She would put pictures up of the constant behavior programs and rest and her daughter who was verbal and could read some, would have to earn every privilege in the world. Her daughter was having more and more physical outbursts and it seemed to me these programs were causing a lot of the problems.  Thinking about programs for autistic kids where they call for "Quiet hands and quiet feet", I would flunk and be punished. Stimming calls down autistics, so I always find that one weird. I can understand asking a child to sit at a desk to try and be quiet to that point but telling them they must be still like a statue seems insane. Even as an adult, I learned to sit far away from people so my moving around would not bother them.

I was a high functioning Aspie with a high IQ and could "cloak". "Cloaking" got harder for me as I got older.  I had to pretend to be an NT, to keep employed. This wasn't perfect but it meant following a lot of social scripts I had memorized. Teaching for subjects I was truly enthused and enjoyment of many of the students came naturally but I always had a degree of extreme social and other anxieties.  I got very worn out and it helped to ruin my health having to second guess so many social and other interactions. The hardest was with co-workers. Even at this age, I am learning social rules that never occurred to me, of course some of these overlap with learning self protective boundaries and other matters, coming up from being no contact and finally escaping my abusers.

I freely stim in front of my husband and best friends, but can keep it together to "act normal" while out in public. While at times I wonder how life could have gone with help for my Aspergers, maybe there were advantages to sliding through the cracks because of the higher IQ and good grades and quiet meek demeanor I had when young. I avoided the crazy behaviorism programs they seem to be instilling on autistics like crazy. I lived under a strict and crazy narc induced "program" at home but at least school was more normal.

 I've referred to the school to prison pipeline before but let's just say they aren't just applying the growing American focus on CONTROL of young to the juvenile delinquent set but the autistics, developmentally disabled and other "troubled" teens. The book "Jesus Land" talks about these teens sent for normal teen behaviors to schools that seek to control them, with mind control and extreme rules.

It seems everything in this culture has become about enforcing power and compliance. I suppose in police state America, the focus now is to keep the autistics in line at any cost too. Sure teaching a severely or even more mildly autistic child not to hurt others, and to keep from self harming behaviors and how to bathroom and eat and other life skills is not wrong, but these programs just are evil.

"I’m sorry, but that’s not earning your token…"

I have been working with the autistic demographic for the better part of the last decade. When I first started in this field, I was a “behavioral tutor” at a popular treatment center. Their programs were based in Applied Behavior Analysis, or ABA.

 ABA is regarded as THE autism intervention. It is often the only thing covered by insurance, state-man...dated therapy programs, and other service providers. But what does it consist of?
The drawing above is what my work looked like for several years. Children were supposed to sit for thirty minute sessions, up to six a day, and work on a specific program, such as color identification or event sequencing. Children were rewarded when they worked… with tokens, tickles, stickers, candy, etc. Kids on “higher levels” had to wait longer for this “positive reinforcement.” Children were given a “discrete trial” and were expected to not only perform the task in a timely manner, but “sit with hands and feet down and a quiet voice” for three seconds. Children who failed to perform to these precise standards did not earn reinforcement… no exceptions. When children consistently failed to perform or acted out, they were often punished. Punishments, or “aversive consequences” as they are called in the industry, could get creative. At this treatment center, we screamed “NO!” at children, sprayed water in their face, made them stand up and sit down repeatedly, put them in time outs, and used what are euphemistically called “taste aversions.”

A taste aversion is what is pictured here. Vinegar was the most common, though we also used wasabi, cayenne pepper, and whatever else was found to be effective.

 I was told this was the only evidence based intervention available, and without it children would suffer more. I was told the brutality was necessary. Not until finding the adult autistic community did I learn this was not true.

 Sometimes when I talk to others in the field about this, I’m told it’s “not real ABA" or "that's not how it's done anymore." That is a bold pack of outrageous lies. Don’t believe people who tell you this. It’s real. I participated in it. People have trauma because of it. Please stand up against these types of compliance-based interventions.

 Learn more about applied behavior analysis here…

 

http://www.sentex.net/~nexus23/naa_aba.html

 

Why I Left ABA

The Poor and Disabled in the Churches

[As I write this, some churches are exceptions to the below. Some area churches have helped me and offered the community charity.  Some have done so with a good spirit as well. These are trends I am seeing out there otherwise in the church world]

Some time ago I noticed the pastor's wife of the church I had just left posted this meme on her Facebook wall. It was otherwise full of gung-ho anti-welfare Republicanism. You know I can understand those who argue for limited government to a point but one thing never escaped my notice. They never offered any other real options for the poor or disabled outside of plucking their new middle class level job off the rainbows and unicorn Fox News job-tree. Their lives have been so different from my own.

Sometimes it got very tough being in that church. The pastor would rant and rave about how those who don't work, won't eat. Yes, it's in the Bible but there's a lot of verses that are ignored too, about fair day's wages for a fair days work and not oppressing the poor.

Psalm 12:5King James Version (KJV)
⁵ For the oppression of the poor, for the sighing of the needy, now will I arise, saith the Lord; I will set him in safety from him that puffeth at him.

We both would cringe inside as the pastor lectured about those who took advantage of welfare or people who "didn't want to work" over and over.  Fox news ruled his mind. He never took the bankers to task. I tried to tell him different but failed. He would say nice words to me but not really listen.

As I wrote before I walked from that church the day it raised it's praise of war to the zenith. The pastor's son had taken to the pulpit to discuss his times in combat, unlike his thousand yard stare brother who had been there too, this guy seemed gleeful as if military combat was like summer camp. That was straw that broke the camel's back and I knew we didn't belong there anymore.

Class-wise we were the only poor people in that church, from what I could tell the lowest level above us was lower middle class. Everyone owned a home and had large intact families. Four families in the church were related to the pastor. There wasn't one single person outside of one widow, or child-less person in that church either out of 100 people which always gave me a strange feeling. I've seen that in churches I've visited, Single over a certain age? Childless? Those people just were not there.  It was like only nuclear families were allowed. It seemed a given that the people in that church, expect certain lifestyles and incomes. Sadly this was the outlook of the entire church. To be poor in many of today's evangelical churches means you are considered a "bum" who did not work hard enough. You didn't do what was "right" to get ahead. You don't fit in. It's like the white picket fence life is mandated.

Sadly classism is a growing problem in the churches. I am sure there are exceptions to this rule but when Rick Warren got a hold of Drucker a business executive to write Purpose Driven Life, there is a reason that churches were affected by the change of churches into a business model. Some churches of course reject Rick Warren but some of his work has had a cultural impact that has infiltrated society as a whole.  Churches are more focused on solving global poverty rather then dealing with the poverty right across the street or the train tracks. Pastors are more like business men then ministers and the most successful "sell" and get as many butts in seats as possible. Years ago the whole "seeker sensitive phenomenon was more about sales. Churches became more like 'consumer" organizations where salesmen or pastors were told to get in there and "hustle".

Poor church members don't work well in that model. If you are poor enough and groceries are negotiable and you can barely keep a 12-13 year old car running, there is not going to be any money for tithing. I don't believe in the 10 percent tithe but that is a whole other article and subject. In my old town I had people telling me, they didn't go to church because the pastors were always demanding money. Some told me point blank, "We are too poor to go to church.". I'm in that boat now.  In my case, I have strong beliefs that have taken me out of the churches, I'm not interested in things that range from Patriarchy/Quiverful to the Prosperity gospel, but yes, being poor influences church membership.  

Poor people don't make the pastors rich. I hope that doesn't sound too cynical, but think about the pastor who wants a good salary, a church full of very poor people who can barely throw a fiver in the basket weekly isn't going to pay his bills. His attention is going to go more towards the established and wealthier families handing over 10 percent of their entire income. More and more I'm with the people who start discussing how Paul was a tent-maker and provided for himself.

 Some of these people were going without medical care and necessities so I understood even as I was in a church myself back then. One thing that always got me, is I noticed some pastors living far higher socioeconomic levels then some of their church members. It seemed odd to be trying to dig out money I didn't have for some guy to have a newer car and huge home. We see the super-wealthy televangelists and others who live like millionaires but this happens on the lower level a lot. There's still a few humble folks out there, but there's many pastors living large who are out of touch with realities of the USA economy.

I became a Christian as an adult, and well, having recently left the church world for good, I'm mulling over a lot of stuff. I'm in a "wrestle" with God moment, arguing night and day. The best I can say is "I am still talking to God." I already had my atheist years so throwing down and walking away from the Christian faith is not an option but I do fear my own falling away. Maybe my faith is growing more real and this is some kind of "growth" process. A lot of what I saw in the Christian world while I had much to enjoy in my first good church, bothers me now, it seems appearing good there is actually more important then being good.  The fakeness doesn't appeal to me nor false displays of righteousness. I have discussed before in other articles along with a guest blogger, how people are told God will solve all their problems and guarantee them a great life, which in my mind is ensuring there are lots more atheists and others against God out there.  It is concerning how  "No" seems to be the answer to so many prayers lately.

The "Christian" world is troubling me on many levels. "Christians" seem "meaner" to me. Not all. I have good Christian friends and others who have a kind faith I meet all the time, but around a lot of Christians, I felt "judged". Hey I was a non-Christian long enough to know how that can go down, how I was screamed at for going to hell and told I was no good. It affected even the way I witnessed the gospel to others. Today I will witness once or twice but don't harangue people.

Among the church set for so many years, I noticed a lot of the same attitudes about the poor, that bothered me. Many loved the politicians that told people to "pull themselves up by their bootstraps" and went on and on about self reliance. They believed poor people had become poor via sin. That laziness, sloth, and drug and alcohol use were a given among the poor. In my case, they saw us as "lazy". My first church was rural and poor and more friendly, but I encountered more of this later as our own fortunes fell.

No one would imagine that my husband worked 14 hour days at the newspapers for years. Even now as poor as we are, he can spend the whole night hunched over the computer doing work. I was looking for more freelance work for him today and checking out job listings for him. The jobs are jokes, many jobs he can't physically do because they are manual, but all part time, temp and paying 8 dollars an hour. I swear wages have not advanced since the 1990s. I even checked out some newspaper jobs for him, we don't have money to move, but they are very few in number, and the pay for one was $25,000 a year which is what was offered in 1999 for reporter jobs. We know he is not in good enough health with caretaking duties to go back to the long days required in newspapers, it's troubling figuring out what to do.

 Of course many "Christians" have told me disability and welfare are evil, and to be frank, it was hard to be on social security disability and have a bunch of smug people tell me social security was a "slave system" and that only the wicked depended on the government. Roosevelt was still discussed as evil incarnate for the likes of Ronald Reagan who seemed to destroy the economic system that worked far better before. I noticed the Tea Party and Libertarian types who sought to shame me, always owned their own homes, had land and extensive families networks and safety nets I never could dream of. Their jobs and businesses were secure. Life for them had an easier path. To me the dogging out the poor and disabled made no sense. Why not have the attitude of "By the grace of God, go I?".

Here too, with Christian Republican set, they never offer any real options in place of social security and other helps. Some would sneer at me saying I hadn't overcome my liberalism of my UU days. Lets get real.  What church, charity or family is going to cover thousands of dollars in medical costs? A medicine I need to breathe daily and I have to use a nebulizer to take costs $1,066 retail PER MONTH. This med changed my life by the way, in terms of functionality, it helped my walking.

That's just one of my medicines, at least 2 others cost $700 bucks a monthly pop and I'm on more. I manage to keep myself out of the hospital via lots of maintenance medical care and nursing care when needed, but lets just say to me none of these people are realistic. They also scream about people "sucking off the government tit" at the behest of their brainwashers on radio stations and news programs. I have said to a few, "Ok so your answer to me is to go to the gutter?"

They thought they were special. I got the feeling many believed their blessings came to them because God had specially blessed them and they believed people lacking those things, did not obey God or did something to deserve their lot. Even if a church was not immersed into Word of Faith teachings that taught that prosperity came via closeness to God, I feel like this was a belief in many churches nonetheless. Really even in your non-Word of Faith churches, even "conservative-evangelical" the prosperity gospel has filtered through, like when the pastor at the last one taught, that if "you do right: God will bless you for it". What's that say about all the good people killed in wars and concentration camps and martyrs. My brain feels confused. Good home lives meant you were a good person. Identifying with the poor was identifying with the wicked and those God had not blessed.

 One guy who has influenced the churches greatly is a man named Dave Ramsey who had had financial seminars in the churches for years. That fellow had advanced "hate the poor" philosophies in the churches. His books seem to think expendable income is a given and that frugal living will save us all and anyone can afford a house and good cars if they are just practical and don't make budgetary mistakes. Many of the financially struggling were assured that Dave Ramsey would show them the way out.

 His prejudices are plain to see on his own website. Supposedly rich people are more moral and read a lot more. What would he think of my apartment with it's literally thousands of books. I never buy books, books can be gotten for very cheap. We used to sell books on ebay years ago for a little bit of money. This man's prejudices against the poor are sickening.  You mean poor people don't make to-do lists? I have right now detailing what car repairs need done. What is the deal with #11? What's wrong with speaking your mind? The idea that the poor sitting around eating junk food is also pure prejudice. Many poor people cook beans and pre-plan meals to the extreme.

When poor in the "Christian" community one is literally pounded with the "self reliant" gospel. Ayn Rand who was a Theosphist by the way and anti-Christian to the core is more adhered to then anything Jesus Christ said about the poor. Her gospel of selfishness has definitely taken root in some of the churches over the gospel of Jesus Christ. I read Fountainhead and her books in my 20s. She definitely seemed to advance self-service and a sociopathic attitude towards life. One pundit wrote of Ayn Rand I read years ago saying there were no children, old or disabled people in her books. Well children need care and giving, so wonder her fictional world was a child-free one.! Her philosophies today is one reason that so much of the "evangelical" right wing pairs themselves up with the most heartless bastards. It's one reason that Trump who has been divorced several times and who has lived by the gospel of "me" for decades--by the way he was born rich with a business owner father, is being endorsed by the Republican party.

There is a cold cruelty in much of the church world and it is showing in their politics. Some here may tell me why don't you go into more liberal churches, but I don't agree with their teachings either, so I will remain an outsider for life. There are Christians leaving the church system.

One of my husband's said to me, "Well the best Christians don't go to church" and I got what he meant.  Religion is used to shame the poor, time and time again, and they teach totally against what Jesus taught in this. I get the feeling that if Jesus broke out the loaves and fishes for the poor around these right wing evangelists types, most would get angry and say he was making the poor ,more dependent who wanted to suck off the system. Hey when their politicians say this stuff, they give them more votes. They don't care about billions being handed over for wars and bankers, the poor are easy scapegoats, they want to toss overboard. I believe many will find Jesus saying to them, "I never knew you". The war praisers I left in that last church definitely are in a precarious spiritual position.

Many of them are fearful of identifying with the poor and this is one way the politicians get laws passed for people's own demise. Even the anti-union movements had a lot to do with this. Why do right wing Christians hate unions? Even if some went corrupt, I don't get that one. It worries me how America is growing to be a more hateful place, and the 1% are laughing and running to the bank as more is handed to them from all the "temporarily embarrassed millionaires" Steinbeck style.  Many of them call themselves "Christians" as their love of money and propriety takes precedent. They are choosing denial rather then truth and throwing all ideas of Christian charity under the bus. They scream and shout about the socialists, as the "threat" while advancing the powerful and corrupt themselves.

More and more their wolves in the pulpit are united with the powerbrokers of our society and they have gotten their congregations to do likewise too. Forgotten is that Jesus was sent to the cross via the religious and state system married together. Today religion and state are unifying in a muddle-mess of power and sociopathy worship, this is why the poor are being disenfranchised from the false Babylonian churches.

I think the cloaks of denial is bring more coldness and cruelty to the poor and disabled too. They are afraid of seeing us and want us hidden away. They don't want to know what all the empty store fronts and full soup kitchens and food pantries mean for their future too. Many disabled and other people have learned to be careful of do-gooders who will beat us down with a present in one hand and a boatload of criticism and false judgment in another. Philanthropy can be  used for sadism. Many poor get tired of in some religious circles of being the "pitied" and of being the "other".

There are good people out there who let you keep your humanity, there is one Lutheran woman in my town, who I believe has a true love for the poor but there are many who do not. They want to take it away. They see the poor as less then "human". You literally are not a human being to them. I know this feeling all too well.  Their own fears lead them to deny that they could be in your boat. When I see someone worse off then me, I don't think "Oh look at that old drunk, or what did he do to end up behind that shopping cart?" I think "What happened to him?" He is a person to me. Compassion is an emotion getting in shorter supply.

I had a discussion with an older man at a church food pantry on this. One thing I had said during that course of the conversation was, "How come poor people who are Christians don't have our own church families taking care of them?" This poor old man told me three churches had treated him like he was invisible. I said if Jesus showed up wearing his robe and sandals with some dust of the road on him, they'd throw him out and yell "Get a job you bum!" He told me about his last pastor who drove a Cadillac.

Yeah some of the liberal world isn't much different either. It's not any easier on the poor. The New Age went into that book "The Secret" think and grow rich and money will come to you!  This became a new Social Darwinism of it's own. Strange how there is an overlap with Ayn Rand there too.  Rich New Agers told me "I lacked good karma" and have directly told me I must have been a very wicked person in my last life to have these severe disfiguring health problems and money problems." One psychic--medical intuitive to be exact,  I visited during my UU days, told me, that I had been a very wicked woman in my past life. He gave me details of these lives which seemed very made up and was now equalizing my karmic position via suffering.

This oddly happened to me with some of the "Christians" too.  It is an overlap that I was sure to notice. By the way I am learning to keep my mouth more shut about any problems outside of this blog. I think it will help me. One person I dealt with basically became a spiritual abuser using my abuse, and troubles to tell me that in a Christian context, I was "wicked" and "paying the price" for it.

[this verse is supposed to be spiritual healing not, you will never have any health problems in your life]

 The spiritual abuser told me because of my abuse and severe health problems I needed freed via "deliverance". She told me God wanted to heal me. She told me I did not have a natural disease--well the one I took 17 years to get diagnosed but at that time it wasn't diagnosed yet. If disabled be very careful of any Christians that promise "deliverance" or "healing" via prayer. I even faced this in the Catholic church where some charismatic Catholics told me, that if I had enough faith God would heal me. Problem is if you are still sick 5 years later, they see you as not having done what you were "supposed to".  I can see many people already having lost their faith under some pressures I've been under. Here the message too was, same as the karma New Agers, if you suffer, it's your fault. If I had not read the book of Job, they would have destroyed me with their false teachings.

 It is a place where many abuses and false theology and doctrines can abound. Even if one is questioning, and keeps an open mind that examines what they have to offer, these religious types can wiggle into your mind in an insidious fashion. Deeming themselves always the supreme experts, being a deferential scapegoat here, is not a good position.  I thought surely something is spiritually awry being so poor and sick. Isn't God supposed to be blessing me? It only troubled my mind. Thankfully I broke away from the person in question, but one question I still ponder in that context, why are the suffering always the ones who are deemed wicked and the prosperous are the good? The Bible actually says the exact opposite.

Psalm 73:12
Behold, these are the ungodly, who prosper in the world; they increase in riches.

What does that say about Jesus Christ who ended up suffering the most on the cross? I never attended any Pentecostal or Charismatic churches in my case, but they are notorious for this. I've met ill people who took a pounding from those who told them they need their demons and curses of illness and financial problems drummed out of them.  Those are dangerous places to admit you have any life challenges. My spiritual abuse came via an online "friendship", but in those churches, a disabled person will be told they have been "cursed" by the demon if illness or told that once delivered God will heal all their health problems. They are not seen as human either. They are seen as a problem to be reckoned with. The only answer is to be healed. If you failed to do that, you are a spiritual failure.

I never judged poor people myself this way but I figured out even in the churches I was in, that the main message was "Bad Things happen to Bad People" so what does that say about Jesus Christ on the cross?

There seems to be an open war on the disabled, suffering and poor in many of these churches. Their bad politics speak to their dark hearts.  I believe that false teachings have taken over, and they are not preaching the comfort and goodness of God but drawing a net around people giving false hopes and dreams and answers for this life they focus on instead of eternal life. It ties into the sheer hatred shown many groups of people too. I can't go hate everyone like one certain party seems to want me to do. I'm not politically correct but I figure that is a path of evil too many of them are going down. The whole "Lets blow up the Islamic world"  following the Plan for a New American Century "Christian response", gets on my nerves, and yes I care about the Jewish people too.  By the way Iran is next on the list for the war mongers. The churches seem like they will be cheering to the day mushroom clouds are on the horizon.

The day I sat there, watching the pastor's ex-soldier son gleefully speak of killing people of another religion made me sick to my stomach. It's even hard to explain. A dark spirit has taken over many churches and I was feeling it that day. That very moment I knew I would be walking for good. Really they have become religious sock puppets to the elites who want their globalist wars and wars of civilizations. Evangelical churches almost seem to lust for Armageddon and can't wait until it gets here.

So why should I expect the treatment of the poor and disabled to be any better? All I know is I am done with the lot of them.  I will see where God takes me now.

Positive Attitude BS

“Positive Attitude” Bullshit: On the dangers of “radical self-love”

I found this article the other day and while I have to offer a language warning on it, it agrees with a lot of things I've posted on regarding the "Think Positive" stuff that is used to abuse so many of us.

Positive thinking tyranny quote

"You're Not Positive Enough!" My Failure to be a Jolly Droid

Be Positive or Else!

Definitely you can see this is a topic I have written on before.

The above author has many good things to say but you'll notice in the comments some pod people get into the fray who will tell us things if we "think the right thoughts" we will all have great jobs and wonderful lives.

Chloe Anne King writes:

"There is an endless supply of people who are ready and willing to inform us about what we are doing wrong, and how we can alter our behaviour so we can get ahead and inject magic and happiness into our lives. Between modern day guru Gala Darling who believes “positive thoughts generate positive realities,” and you can “manifest” your own destiny, to capitalist public thinkers such as Oprah Winfrey telling us positive thinking can help us obtain “the sweet life,” it is easy to get misled into a muddle of mistruths.

A recent blog by Gala is entitled “Happiness is simple: why too many choices make us miserable and 5 ways to improve your life!” Yeah? Nah. Too many choices are not the issue for a huge majority of the political underclass; a lack of choice is exactly the problem. Whether it be lack of choice when it comes to quality of education, or lack of access to higher education because you were not born into wealth and privilege, or lack of choice when it comes to nutritious food or warm dry housing because wages are often too low in this country, too often, too much choice is not an issue for the growing majority of the 99 percent; restricted choice is."

She is right to point out how these positive thinking gurus always unload the lie about everyone having "choices". Lack of the green stuff--MONEY limits many choices. You don't get things done when there is no money, you are busy spending it on things like rent. In a consumerist society they try to claim we all have choices about what to do, but the amount of money really determines the practical everyday working out of this. I sit and look around and think it would be great to join a gym and get a trainer to help me with some low impact weights, or to get this carpet ripped out and removed, and get some new decent furniture to replace a bed and couch that is broken down or to take a vacation to Vermont, or to hold another art show with actual frames and advertisement, or to go see an online friend but with no money or low money, I don't have a choice in any of this. Millions of other women do not have those choices either. She continues

"Gala and magazines such as Oprah Winfrey’s O Magazine, tell us:

If you just change your attitude and think more positively over time, your life will get easier. Over time, you will land a job that affords you a contract guaranteeing you some security and a pay-check which does not leave you in poverty. You simply have to manifest what you want. Drink a couple of litres of soda pop, add diamantes to your manicure, wear a fake moustache all day long (as Gala really has suggested as a remedy for the blues), put on a nice pink dress and smile a bit more then BOOM! That suicidal depression over the stresses of life such as being unable to buy food because you are on minimum wage, working depressing precarious jobs, and/or the debilitating anxiety over whether your welfare will be cut this week will suddenly melt away.

Middle or upper class young white women seem to be the demographic of the radical self-love movement. It is all well and good to tell them to “smash that class-ceiling” and just work hard to achieve your dreams and the bling and designer shoes will follow, but as Laurie Penny points out in her book Unspeakable Things, there are a lot of women drowning in the basement. In particular women of colour, trans, and queer women who disproportionality suffer from poverty, depression, feelings of alienation, and are discriminated against in the work-place:"

She is right about the women drowning in the basement. There's many young and old woman who were given false promises and told the world would be their oyster only to find someone ready to discriminate against them behind a desk. Many of us were told if we "worked hard" we could "be come somebody" only to be shocked and dismayed the work world was run like the Lotto and that our punishment wasn't just the loss of status but out and out poverty and disrespect. 

That even those who worked hard were cast aside as easily as yesterday's trash. It's not just young upper class and middle class counterparts who think these things, but wealthier middle aged people as well. I face women of those beliefs everywhere. What do they hold in common? They had money, choices and options. This doesn't apply to all people with more money, some aren't caught in this trap, but sadly those who did see my "failures" as self-chosen including the failed health. Of course even the more monied people suffer from this "think positive" trash as life can bring them hardships they are told they are "responsible" for too, like aging, health problems and other losses. Oprah's disciples for all the talk of happiness, even the ones with "choices" and money, many are simply worn out.

 Many have told me that my life went "badly" because I didn't work hard enough and that I wasn't positive enough, and this is why I didn't get a good teaching job, or a stable middle class life. Sadly many others suffer under their judgments too. More people I believe are facing this, and slinking into the background, because the "throwaway" people aren't just getting cast aside they are being stigmatized at the same time as well, considered "unworthy" and "undeserving".

She is correct about Oprah, Oprah helped a lot with the brainwashing sessions that convinced two generations of women, they could "think" their way into wonderful lives. Oprah basically is a New Age guru, who has taught the "be positive" gospel and the same false teachings of the book "The Secret".

Oprah is a high functioning narcissist who has taught millions of women to follow the detached and selfish code of extreme self-love and aspiration. She announces to the world, "I shall be like the Most High" [Isaiah 14:13] and tells women to follow in her footsteps. 

One reason they want to beat on the hyper-self responsibility drum is because the elites feed off the power of all the plebes to get them to think they are all personally responsible for their poverty, failures, ill-health and dissatisfaction. This allows the powerful and 1 percent to steal and exploit even more freely. 

Oprah is the priestess of the lie that one's life and it's circumstances are all CHOSEN. She basically is a flying monkey for narcissistic and sociopathic elites who want normal ordinary people to blame themselves and not look at the injustices and structures of society that work against them. They want ordinary people to be separated and disenfranchised from each other.

Both left and right beat on the drum too, telling us everything is self determined. The right wing gives the same message that everything is self directed and the left does too. I've seen many Tea Party people post the same messages as the neo-liberal Oprah followers. They believe just like Oprah but in a different way everything is "choices" too. This is one popular meme you will see many conservatives post on Facebook. 

 The same self-determinism I wrote about regarding Mary Oliver and Transcendentalism infuses through American culture. You are the captain of your own ship and every action and choice you make determines your destiny. If things go wrong and you get sick, or you are broke, it is your fault, no one else's. So King is absolutely correct when she writes this:

"What Nicole suggests in her piece is that Oprah just reinforces the focus on the “individual,” which hides the role of political, economic, and socio-economic structures in our lives,"

and

"Changing your attitude is not going to change or help to dismantle structural injustice and a failed and unstainable economic model which serves only the elite rich of this world, and exploits the rest of us, particularly the working class and those living in poverty. As far as I am concerned positive thinking will fucking ruin your life.

“Just think positive” is a precursor to “it gets better,” and the hard reality is it is only going to get much, much worse for our most vulnerable. With social bonds being introduced into our public welfare state, life for those who have a disability or mental health diagnosis who need support from the state is only going to get more grinding and unmanageable."

The "think positive" garbage has hurt me immensely. Everyone who is disabled in American culture feels the oppressive feel of being told in different ways that we are responsible for our misfortunes despite the natural and random aspect of chronic diseases.

 In a world where everything is a choice, even ill health is seen as one. We know they are working on crushing the poor even more so, their greed has no end and I warned myself about the threats to cut social security by 20 percent here in America.

  Positive thinking ruined my life, because it allowed people to abuse me for things I did not choose. It is abusing millions right now, bringing them severe angst and depression inside as they look at their lives and think "I have failed and it is all my fault" and absolutely despair inside. It denies the true hardships of life such as the realities of aging and lost and sets people up for false expectations and more sadness.

If you wonder why America is the most depressed nation in the world, there you have it in a nutshell. Who can be resilient or even feel supported when everything is a contest and a competition and the winners are few in number and the losers shunted aside.

There is a reason that you will never see a poor or working class woman in any woman's magazines anymore. They have "disappeared" us because it is a threat to their bubble fantasy world that we even exist.

 They feed us these lies, about the "ideal life" and that it is the "good and worthy" who obtain it and that everyone else is unworthy. These New Age and other lies are so vast, many are even rejected and thrown away by their own families because they did not obtain a certain degree of success.

 King is correct in how the "think positive" nonsense is abused in the over-saturated work-place where jobs are few in number to numbers of people and how it is used to abuse people and tell them it is the fault of negative thinking because the bean counter behind the desk did not hire them. This serves the needs of those who wish to oppress workers and fire them at the drop of a hat.  Yes these false messages bring immense feelings of insecurity and isolation.

The "be positive" nonsense has led to a break-down in social connection in our society as everyone is trying to "save face" and never talk about any problems or failures. It keeps everyone silent and not asking any questions about the discrepancies in the system. When everyone thinks they are at fault and everything is an "individual choice", they are locked alone in their own little bubble of self-doubt and angst. Neo-liberalism does suck.

I want to meet people who have broken out of the lies out there, so far I have met online friends but hope to meet some even locally who understand how we have all been taken for a ride. It's bad enough that we live in a system that is so unjust but should we accept how this system with people like Oprah rip us to shreds inside and as people taking away our dignity for not measuring up? While I am dubious about a restructuring of the system being a solution knowing the history of revolutions, at the very least, we should seek freeing our spirits and souls from this oppression. God sees these things different and knows the "think positive" gurus are the wicked filling their own pockets at the expense of the poor. 

"The disenfranchised, poor, and working class need to collectively band together to restructure the systems, and to expose the neoliberal policies and thinking which has helped create feelings of disconnection and discontent in the first place. Adherence and adaptation will further exasperate the situation, endorsing solutions built on neoliberalism to solve the very problems it has helped to create—which is exactly the thinking that people like Oprah and Gala promote—is truly next level insanity. It doesn’t even make sense!

 Radical self-love and positive attitude advocates such as Oprah and Gala are more about adapting to a world “gone mad” and systems that do not serve you, than really improving your life."

The is exactly the purpose they serve, voice pieces for a wicked system, where to keep the plebes controlled, they tell us our entire life is a manifestation of our own thoughts and choices. The Bible of course says different. 

"It is a fairy tale which tells you:

If you change your attitude and enough of yourself maybe someone might love you. If you work hard enough and want it badly enough maybe you will land some dream job which pays you enough to afford both rent and food and a bit of financial security. If you just play by the “rules” and adapt to a brutal capitalist system while changing what colour lipstick you wear and your “negative” thought patterns, your life will become easier and better."

She has that right, it's fairy tale and a lie!

Everything's a Competition in America

                                          [picture source]

Dog eat dog.

Law of the jungle

Eat or be Eaten

King and Queen of the Mountain

Hunger Games Brainwashing

This is the reason that so many of our high schools are run like the high school in the movie Heathers, where the "winner" kids openly abuse the kids they consider "losers". Think about it, what is all the bullying centered in? Getting over.

Everything is about measuring up, and if you come up short, then watch out! The narcissists thrive on this stuff, and they don't play to win, they CHEAT to win and often do! The competition and achievement queens put narcissists on pedestals if they are not already one themselves.

Everything's a Competition in America

A Sane Person