Voting Gets Harder and Harder

 

                                            it seems to be this over and over.

So we got a blue wave....

Will the Iran war be ended?

Will the Epstein files be exposed?

Will the politicians help people with economic misery?

I don't know. I'm dubious based on previous experiences.

The Republican party never seems to let up on it's worse traits.

I wrote this article on the Republican party years ago.

Five Hundred Pound Peep: The Republican Party Scares Me

11 years later, it was the same BS round and round. They may as well add to the Republican party platform, "We hate the disabled!" and "We love war!" 

Remember what happened with the Olmstead Act 6 months ago? Remember the Big Beautiful Bill goes into action in January. Will the Democrats do anything about this stuff? 

Well we will see. ..

I did vote, it wasn't easy. It's getting harder and harder. Being disabled, one has to think of survival issues and that puts pressure on the disabled no matter how much we think the left has betrayed.  With many races, I don't like any of the candidates. I did vote for some Dems, and third party and on the non-partisan races and proposals. My head hurt as I asked who would do the least damage to us in the next few years? Which locals would make things better instead of worse?  One conservative senator, was a Big Pharm sell-out, who donated millions to data centers. I'm not surprised he lost. I told one Republican friend, "I can't vote for that guy, he's a crook!"

Why do the politicians of both parties support data centers? That bugs me. 

Is anyone from either party coming out against this stuff? I would really like to know....

Trump was getting out of control with endless wars and just craziness. The Supreme Court licked his boots at every conjecture and gave him those sickening "immunity" rights as president. Even so many MAGAs were fed up, I bet some of them secretly voted for Dems and third parties and kept their mouths shut. The farmers probably were among the first with secret votes as Trump screwed them all over. Trump with his threats of WWIII and being Bibi's slave disgusted millions of people. "America First" was a lie from the start. Trump is most likely an actor placed on the political stage by the real powers that be. He's basically playing the boss on "The Apprentice" over and over screaming"You're Fired!" like he fired endless American generals who probably didn't want America destroyed in nuclear war. 

I don't agree with what most of Matt Walsh writes or says, but he got this right:

I will forever be disgusted too, that both parties supported the genocide in Gaza. Obviously, Trump did.
I read a saying how Israel is basically America's aircraft carrier in the Middle East and there seemed to be truth to it, but who owns who? Trump seemed to do whatever Bibi demanded. Did you all know they are planning to join our military to Israel's? That's definitely going against George Washington's warnings about "foreign entanglements". 

Trump has used the presidency as his personal bank account and enriched his family while bankrupting the American people. Do you realize how many laws on the books he's broken? I'm not talking about of TDS either, he just seemed to do whatever he wants and get away with it. Don't just look at what he does or say, see the overall results and influence as a result of these things. What has become acceptable during his terms?

Have you ever notice every presidents seems to just grow more and more corrupt? Oh the American public are sick of 80-90 year olds too, where you can't tell if they are alive like Mitch McConnell. These people need to go retire yesterday instead of making complex decisions for the country when they won't even be here to see the results. They are all so old, and out of touch, they have no idea what is really going on. When I voted, I thought of age. If they were over 65, I was more apt, to say "Forget it!"

American people are sick of war. Some of us worry in the pit of our souls, that some of the death and destruction that the USA has dished out to the rest of the world like the million in Iraq is going to come back and haunt us. I spent many years war protesting. We didn't want more war. War with Iran was planned during the Plan for a New American Century days, and appears on that notorious video with General Wesley Clark where he added Iran to the future war list. Sometimes I sighed and thought that creepy second IFB pastor got what he wanted. For 25 years or more, our feckless leaders have involved us in endless wars that have bankrupted America and helped to destroy our economy. Trump continued with all that. Why would anyone vote for him and his party? He suckered us all.

                              yeah we all remember and the fact is he lied. 

Yes, the conspiracy theorists, talk about the real powers behind the throne always wanting war and destruction. They say the presidents serve them. Hmmm, Trump sure made it seem that way. Are you noticing that now they are blathering about turning the electricity off, via CyberPolygon? I've mentioned this on this blog maybe even years ago. What do you think all that 90 days of no power stuff is about or how they are using the internet to turn the refrigerators off and do what they call "cyber-attacks". Those are all "inside jobs" in my opinion. What kind of idiots thought it was a good idea to hook refrigerators to the internet? The tech-dweebs strike again.

Everyone says America is a democracy, well it's actually technically a Republic, they tell us our votes count. Sometimes I wonder if I am dupe to vote at all. I still do it, probably filled with some ideals. Some of my friends gave up voting, and I can see why and it gives me pause. Have you noticed our government does a lot of things that MOST people do not support like another stupid war in the Middle East? 

Politics seems to interfere with our daily life too much. I had the thought, "Lets get some boring politicians that leave us alone for once!" The other day I wanted to go shopping, and we read on Facebook that ICE was all over the town where we go shopping in. It annoyed me, because I needed a frame for an art show.  Later my compromise was buying plexiglass at a hardware store to replace too-loose glass in a frame. Thankfully it worked!

My husband said, "I don't want to go out to that area, they are all over in their fleet of unmarked cars". People had put up pictures of their caravan all over the place, it bugged me how they were unmarked in a combination of sedans and SUVs. We read rumors they pull everyone over, legal or non-legal and drag them in. There was one social media picture of one Hispanic guy who had two ICE people on top of him.

 Remember I'm a bit brown, olive skinned toned. My husband thinks they are just going to grab me off the street. Maybe he is overly cautious. My response was when first hearing this "You are too worried, they won't bother us!" However then, I thought, "Why go looking for trouble?"  So, we went the opposite way. 

In my case, I do think something needs to be done about illegal immigration, Americans need jobs, but the ICE craziness bothers me. If someone like me who thinks immigration should be curtailed is afraid of these people think about that. Something has gone really wrong in this country. Why do they abuse people? There was so much cruelty and madness surrounding ICE, I'm scared of those people. Why do they just pick up people at random? Read about all the legal people and citizens they threw in their jails. They scoop you up and then ask questions later.  My husband is very light I said, "They would leave you alone!" later I thought this is messed up, that we even had to have this discussion. What does that mean for today that our freedom of movement is impacted this way?

Now look at this graphic novel. "The Dissidents" by Derf Backdref. He makes sure to let people know he is not a Marxist at the beginning of the graphic novel. I read it in the last couple days. He wrote this book as a warning about today.  Reading this book was an intense experience. Some of the stuff was shocking like Wilson passing laws that made it illegal to criticize World War1! Wilson is far more of an autocrat than many people know. They had a group that ran around like ICE called The American Protective League that was a citizens vigilante group that took on war dissenters and others.

This graphic novel makes that clear. He backs up his information too lest you think he is on the propaganda bus. I looked up some stuff while reading it. He's an artist and a journalist too. Check out his graphic novel Kent State. They are very heavily researched and documented.

The graphic novel centers on these radical cartoonists who are anarchists, Communists and other leftists. One may not agree with their politics but the way they were cracked down on was extreme. Freedom of speech definitely was thrown out the window to push WW1. Maybe the same is being done with would be WWIII. The conscientious objectors in this era literally were tortured in prison. Being an anti-war protester in this era brought one a lot of problems. 

I follow Derf Backderf on Social media. I don't agree with all his politics, he is a liberal from what I can tell. We disagreed about Covid. Everyone here knows my disappointment already in Chris Hedges and liberals in general when it comes to Covid.  I will never understand why the left accepted the tyranny of Covid and didn't question the likes of Trump Mr. Warp Speed, Bill Gates, Fauci and the rest of the cretins. I do hope some have since woken up. 

We need real changes, I think most people vote hoping for less punishment and corruption from one side than the other. The sad thing is the "greater agendas" like planned wars and digital surveillance keep getting promoted beyond the scenes. I had some guilty moments, "Maybe I shouldn't have voted for those people, maybe they'll screw us over!" I had angst worrying about forced vaccines, MAID and other issues. 

Most of our local Republicans here are bad news. There are too many Trump lackeys. The guy who ran for governor definitely was, and he probably lost alone for that. If he complained about Trump, I bet you he would have won! I thought a lot of people didn't like the Democratic governor due to my state's bad economy, and they'd vote him in but his devotion to Trump cost him. I actually liked the Democratic governor, but she was completely wrong about Covid. She seemed to run things well, but had huge blind spots. 

 The local Republicans scapegoat the disabled and in my old area, one is against homeless shelter. There's too many real estate investors too. That seems to be a conflict in interests. There's one good regional Republican I would vote for him hands down but I am under a different state representative. He is like Massie and even openly talks about the Epstein files. I follow him on social media. He seems to be a sincere one. He hates Trump. He's lower level state guy, but I found myself thinking they always push the sincere ones like that out. Some of the local Dems, seem like old school ones from years ago. One promotes unions, maybe they'd force him out too if he moved up too high. 

Our libertarians were kind of annoying, I vote for some third party members but they all seem stuck on stupid with wanting get rid of all property taxes. I hate property taxes and think they are out of control even though I am a renter. Where are they going to get the money that comes in from them? Libertarians have that giant economic fault too. They think everyone has money and those who don't should just go die in the gutter. It's sad the one party that is good on civil liberties has that as a fault line. 

Voting is getting more difficult. I do hope Democrats can remember this moment and the votes they made with certain expectations. See if there is follow through.....and apply this knowledge later on. Were your expectations met?

Will the Democrats end the Iran war?

Will the Democrats do anything to alleviate economic suffering?

Will they reign in some of the abuses that Trump has wrought?

Will they deal with the corruption?

Will they expose the Epstein files and deal with the people involved?

Voting is hard, so I'm not going to judge. I made voting mistakes like voting for Biden in 2020. Lately some probably vote just to buy time hoping some evils are slowed down. Fear of WWIII probably motivated a few votes for the blue wave. 

I hope people pay attention to the "results" or "non-results" from this election. American people need leaders that look out for them for once and not greater agendas that seek to steer this country a certain way. We are losing too much economic stability and the march to war is even more dangerous than before. If you are a Democrat, I remain an independent, take a look and notice these things. If you are a Republican, analyze the false promises from Trump and why did things go the way they did? Do you understand the lies and false promises America was given? It's better if more people question the system and why Americans are betrayed so often, even if you still vote, or not. Remember history often repeats itself too. Derf's book has some true warnings in it as well. 

Why More Christians Don't Go To Church

 

                                 The negative experiences and spiritual abuse has some of us now afraid of church

Years ago I wrote this article:

Five Hundred Pound Peep: The Poor and Disabled in the Churches

It still applies, if anything, more of this has worsened. 

Maybe then I was getting an inkling of my feelings about church and how the experiences impacted my life. I expanded on this in these articles:

Five Hundred Pound Peep: Churches and Me

Five Hundred Pound Peep: Professor Archive on Churches: Are Churches in America Dying?

They say that now there's a lot of unchurched people. That term is used for those who are Christians and do not attend or belong to a church. They still have faith but they do not attend church. Their numbers are growing.  

The other week, I was talking to some friends and my husband about churches. The friends knew I was thinking of finding another church and asked how that was going. I told them, "I haven't found another church, I think at this conjecture I am not going to fit in any, maybe church isn't meant for me anymore. God certainly hasn't led me to one either. The whole enterprise feels empty. 

My husband brought up one point beyond the first IFB  was happy in, he says, "I have no interest in going anywhere, you always have us leave them". This is true since I moved here, we struggled to find a church home. Twenty years is a long time to try something and keep failing at it. There's a point banging your head on the wall continually gets foolish. Take the good and leave the bad? I had good experiences too, though the second IFB church was a nightmare. I wrote about other spiritual abuse I faced on this blog about Mrs. Curses.

 My husband was happy in the UU, and I told him I would understand him staying but the way we do church is we go somewhere together. It's always been like that. He attended my fundamentalist churches with me even though he didn't agree with everything they were preaching. 

I've been watching Professor Archive and talked about that video channel some. Life for the poor and disabled have gotten worse in churches, since I wrote that article in 2015. By my reckoning most working class and poor people have left the churches outside of rural areas. Who can afford it, when you struggle to pay the rent or buy groceries? It is more demands and expectations. Poor and working class people simply do not fit in. 

                             Peter 2:3 KJV: And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you: whose judgment now of a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not.

Churches seem more like a business now where you're the consumer especially in the evangelical world. The bigger churches with the bookstores instead of library and coffee shops are going to expect you to have a little bit of expendable income. Crony Capitalism ruined many churches with their greedy pastors. You read about the church in the book of Acts, they share things in common, it's not a money game where you have to purchase your way in. Tithing is a false doctrine. Why did I watch pastors richer than me always begging for money? This Christian exposes some of the problems with tithing doctrine and talks about how American capitalism ruined Christianity.

"As a result of this blindness, we see ultra-materialism and multi-million dollar structures rising at the exact same time that homelessness is at epidemic levels. Many people sitting in these pews are already financially strapped, yet pastors teach that if you “plant seeds of faith,” you will receive tenfold. They weaponize scriptures like, “Will a man rob God?” against the congregation.

But truly, after we deep dive into the Word, we will discover that it is actually these pastors who are robbing God. Every ministry peddling this doctrine has fallen into apostasy, and their day of judgment will be made evident by the end of 2027."

Those under immense financial pressures probably are already departing from churches. Many poor people think if I had money to give anyone, maybe I need to give some to my soon to be homeless friends? They aren't so keen to hand it over to a wealthy pastor to waste. 

One thing I don't understand is while the USA economy implodes even as some churches do community programs like food pantries and other programs, why don't they admit what is going on out there? Why don't they talk about it? Why do they stick to the likes of Dave Ramsey? Why are their members all middle class and above and the people needing the charities not part of the churches? Why don't we have pastors who talk about any of this? Maybe most of them don't relate. Outside of Barber who is an exception, none of them touch economic realities with a 10-foot pole. 

If people feel like they can't even go to church because they can't afford it and all the pastors are out of touch about our day to day lives, what is the use then? One thing I told my friends was I never saw a fellow renter in church.  Isn't that strange like the act of simply needing to rent, kept you away from church membership. 

No one came to evangelical church who was not a home owner! Sometimes you would encounter an old person who had gone into a condo to avoid yard work and physical strain, but that part was interesting to me. I never ever met a person who lived a lifestyle like mine not even in the nice first IFB. This tells me something about the "needed status" of going to church. Sure there are some biker churches out there, and a few churches that cater to the substance abuse/homeless crowd, but they are rare exceptions. One doesn't always live by one. 

One thing I noticed is how boomers dominated every church I was in. Now as the boomers die off, the churches are dying out. I talked in other posts how I would visit churches, and there'd be a long line of empty pews there and a small group of elderly people. Sorry, but they deserve it for ignoring Generation X, Millennials and Gen Z. Why were boomer concerns the only ones that mattered? 

This also ties into economics as the churches stagnated and adhered to a world that no longer exists economically.  The pastors would praise Ronald Reagan and go on like the 1980s were the epitome of civilization. They didn't care what younger people faced. The Catholic church did seem more multigenerational but ignored singles and the childless outside of the monastery and convent world. The evangelical world was just as bad if not worse. The young have left, some have deconverted and become pagans, atheists or agnostics. Some reclaimed Christian faith after deconversion but have nowhere to go.

 I saw a Catholic writer write that "belonging" was part of Christian faith. He's right about that. What happens when there's no belonging and you are allowed no voice? The speechlessness in churches for the young took over. That's why they are gone. No one was interested in what they had to say. I think this is one reason that young Christian converts are leaving the evangelical world and going to Catholic and Orthodox churches. They probably are tired of the politics, fads and nonsense in the evangelical world.

As I considered returning to church, feelings of fear came in because of past bad experiences and loss. With the internet, you can watch local videos online. The sameness of so many places appalled me, like they were downloading business plans for a church off the internet. A new church opened up, meeting at this local German club and restaurant. They had language like "equipped for impact". The pastor and family looked like bots, and dressed like you would imagine a "cool evangelical pastor" to dress. How come none ever depart from the formula? They had the memes about being family friendly. What about the people without families? None of them ever seem to care about them. 

However my fear almost seemed hard to understand, I noticed with time, it didn't go away. I prayed to God, "Please show me where to go". I got no response. Maybe it's God's will I not be in a church at all. That is possible. I'm too old to start over somewhere new, and I have made a mess of religion. There's not much energy left to do anything and the energy that is left goes into art and staying alive.  The people who did it right, probably stuck to a church and grew within its confines, I suppose, they focused on community. They didn't wonder all over the map. A lot of this is my fault. I was a commitment-phobe when it came to religion. 

I told one Catholic friend, it may not be God's will for me to be anywhere. His faith is enviable as he has close relationship with his religious home. His church really brings out the best in him. He shares the love of Christ in his day to day life. Religion got messed up for me, seeking too much and my faith was too troubled by my life circumstances. There's good and bad in various churches. There are things I miss about Catholicism too. With my plastered icons on the wall, books by monks and other religious books on bible prophecy, I would confuse most Christians. Obviously, I'm not a UU anymore. I'm not a fundamentalist either. The IFB wouldn't work again even if I found a decent one. 

                                 how were evangelicals so fooled by these people?

The evangelical world definitely has problems. The Christian nationalism and slavish devotion to Israel is appalling. The churches showed no discernment bowing before the Orange malignant narcissist.  He constantly makes it clear he is not a Christian over and over and still the evangelicals never woke up about the guy. My interest into returning to sermons blaming the poor and homeless for poverty is very low. Think about it, I spent over 8 years as an admin and moderator on a message board for ex-evangelicals. This wasn't a paid thing just some online stuff. They knew after I deconverted and deconstructed, I renewed my Christian faith.  Some on that board did stay Christians. The pain, spiritual abuse and rest people went through was off the charts.  There was concerns I shared with them about the negative directions the evangelical world had taken. Hopefully I helped some of them.  One thing I kept arriving at, was why go back to what failed before? I would confront the same! 

For some time I was on a board for ex-UUs after I left the UU church. Some of the moderators there were a pain, as they were extreme liberals that did not allow questioning of some social issues without major push-back. They seemed to want to censor me talking about the realities of the US economy as they fit into the UU more socioeconomically and were wealthy professionals. I made some friends on there too, and talked about religion and how I had more Christian beliefs. There were a few there who went into mainline Protestantism after leaving the UU church but that wasn't for me either. Many did discuss how the Unitarian Universalist church had changed in a very short time. How they did not allow freedom of thought or exploration. It did help in discussing these things with others. 

I'm intrigued with the Orthodox church for some reason lately, but I know there's a level of personal foolishness where I have tried every church on the planet already. The Orthodox intrigued me because they saw God not as an angry Dad ready to beat us for the smallest transgression but as a healing Physician. This Orthodox video talking about being trapped in slavish fear when it came to spiritual things also meant a lot to me. 

Even the Catholics presented God in a less fire and brimstone way than the fundamentalists. My interest in Orthodoxy came from reading all those Russian writers some time ago. It sounds trite but Dostoevsky saved the dying embers of my Christian faith. 

The Orthodox church is too far away. If I went to one, I'd only make it about once a month, and I think I need a church if I was to return to one, that is part of my local community. Sola Scripture and Orthodoxy don't go together either.   Interestingly enough more seem awake about the world system than many evangelicals. I was talking to some online for a while. The Orthodox seemed to have avoided some of the problems of Catholicism like with the Pope and later teachings like Purgatory. .They don't believe in the centralized papal authority, but it's a whole other culture, and they have their own political problems. They aren't free of scandal. No church is. I don't agree with all the teachings but sometimes when I read Orthodox articles on the evangelical world and why they are now ex-evangelicals that became Orthodox, I understand WHY.

(1) Varieties Of Evangelical Anguish - by Michael Stefan

Orthodoxy And The End Of The Personality Wars

He's right about the expected personalities in evangelicalism, where the glad-handers and extroverts get first billing. The Cholerics do rule the roost. Evangelicalism is an American product flavored by the two "Great Awakenings" and contains all the inherent traits of America. He's right too about the anti-intellectualism of the evangelical world. You aren't allowed to ask questions or debate anything or even go too deep. If you like studying the Bible and want to discuss it, the majority of pastors I dealt with, weren't too keen on the idea. The Orthodox approach to God is far different too. One aspect some of the Orthodox teachers kept bringing up is how evangelicalism stresses "initial justification" [being born again] and then abandons discipleship. That made sense to me. One evangelical belief I do question and was taught was "Once Saved, Always Saved", since I almost lost my faith for good isn't it dangerous to teach people that one? 

My beliefs are different from many evangelicals now. I don't believe in Christian Nationalism and abhor it. On my old religion and conspiracy blog, I had literally dozens of articles against what I called Dominionists. This was a very unique stance even back then. Realizing the IFB was inherently Dominionist despite my own good church, was something I had to face. I don't believe in Zionism, or the pre-Trib Rapture. Darby changed things, dispensationalism just seemed to add error after error. God is presented as too much fire and brimstone instead of a loving Father in many evangelical churches too. The politics and rhetoric against the poor really got oppressive and is one reason, I wrote The Poor and Disabled in Churches article. That has only grown worse as far as my view of things on the internet. Mercy for the homeless seemed rare. Most conservatives considered all the homeless to be drug addicts. I wrote about how the homeless were turned away from help in churches. My first IFB took in a homeless young man and got him a room. That church had some true love in it. I don't see that sort of thing happening in most of the churches in my present community. 

One weird thing that happened as I was talking to Christians in other branches online, is I came to question more of the evangelical world. I encountered a Middle Eastern Coptic Christian who seemed to show evidence that his church was even older than the Orthodox and Catholic church. I found what he said to be interesting. History can't tell us everything, we must examine all teachings, but I got the inkling the evangelical world went with some "new developments". Darby would be an example of one of those. Sometimes I have thoughts about how Americanism and religion got in a big stew pot and it blended into a mess. This is one reason Jesus's words about the poor are ignored. I saw evangelical friend's complaining about the "socialists", but none of them seem to understand that a lot of the socialism today is millions of dollars in payouts to those like Musk from the government. 

Are we seeing this happen in most of today's evangelical churches?

"Luk 14:13    But when thou makest a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind:"

The thoughtful introverts are pushed aside especially in mainstream evangelicalism. I told my friends with my experiences in evangelicalism, the world lacked depth to me. I was tired of churches that taught kindergarten level stories of the bible and never took things past 6th grade. They always told us not to be intellectually prideful in the evangelical world but was that to shut our minds down? Looking back, I know these things fueled my deconversion. I renewed my Christian faith but now have no where to go. It's difficult. Some online Christians said No one was meant to be a solo Christian, but I've met others in my position. We debated their apostolic succession beliefs with our belief in the ecclesia. Maybe no human institution has gotten things completely right. The Bible says the wheat and chaff are to be found everywhere. Luke 3:17  What good are these pastors if they are committed to the world system and can't even get the basics about Covid or support every war and crooked politicians?

My head and memories were filled with finger-wagging church ladies, who always saw me as a "project" they had to fix. There was less of that in the first IFB probably because I was still young and we lived in a working-class area, but it grew worse later in Christian churches. Why did they always have families? Why did they always have a security I lacked? Sometimes I asked God those questions and got nowhere. You don't want to be an object of pathos, or the "worm" or the one the rest "feel sorry" for as they plan ladies trips out shopping and gather together for meals out. There was nothing to talk to with them either. One evangelical friend told me, I was sinning to forsaking assembling together, but I just can't go through that again.

This Christian article interestingly brings up a point. I never made any close friends at church. I don't know why but that was just reality. While I had better social connections in my first IFB, we went to each other's houses and had dinners together and discussions, in my other churches, while people were nice, no one became close. The pastors were so controlling when I moved to this community, free discussions were rare.

 "As one person told me, “They’re nice to you, but no one becomes your friend.” 

It's supposed to be more personal than listening to one guy talk for hours on a stage.

One reason I got bored with churches here, is it seemed like you had to pay all this money to go to this building, and to have people around you. You listened to this one guy for hours and hours and never got to talk to anyone else. Maybe I idealized church too much from the one good experience and what I read in the Bible. I don't know. When we moved here, churches were so impersonal. It was boring and hard to get to know anyone. Some of the pastors barely let the rest of us talk as all the attention had to be on them. There were worship production teams and songs with repeating lyrics and pastors demanding their 10 percent cut, but it seemed a group of people who lacked any true community. You never felt like someone truly had your back.  If trouble came, and it did for us a few times, no money or less money meant feeling a lot less welcomed. The whole enterprise got boring and frustrating for me. Maybe it's because they have departed from what church is truly supposed to be like

I've seen websites ask was it all supposed to rotate around one pastor? On my old religion blog I asked about the Nicolaitans. 

During this conversation I said to my friends, "Church has become a place for those who had life go by the script, there is no understanding for people who had different lives, It is for higher status people who are homeowners, and have families and financial stability. I'm just not interested in trying to measure up to all the expectations". One thing I noticed in many evangelical churches is that money equaled holiness. Did you have a good appearance of the proper life? Otherwise you were deemed sinful to a degree or not walking with God in the right way. One thing I noticed especially in the evangelical world was unless you were prosperous due to the prosperity gospel infused everywhere you were deemed to have something wrong with you and to be lacking enough faith. 

The Christian Century in their article "Has Worship Become a Luxury Good?" agreed with me. They basically came out and said the churches are focusing on middle class people and above. After all that's where the money is, isn't it?

"“Churches have not simply lost working-class people; they have been formed as institutions built on a brand of moral superiority that requires middle-class stability to participate.”

and
"I thought of my former church members’ economically driven attendance when Ryan Burge assessed the data on church membership in relation to class and declared that “religion has become a luxury good.” The religious demographer’s research found that churches are increasingly the habitat of the more educated and wealthy in our society. The people most likely to attend Christian worship have a master’s degree and earn a salary between $60k and $100k. Those least likely to attend worship, who ticked the religious box “nothing,” hold a high school diploma.

Surge’s assessment is stark. Our churches are increasingly designed by and for those who have done everything right according to the White, middle-class script: college degree, marriage, stable income.

Other studies confirm Burge’s findings. One researcher, seeking to understand why White working-class people were defecting from institutional churches, noticed that the economic erosion of viable working-class wages led to a crisis in values and identity. As livable wages, adequate housing, and affordable health care options evaporated in the 1970s, churches that upheld values of education, delayed gratification, and self-control—bourgeois virtues—increasingly became detached from workers’ lives. Churches have not simply lost working-class people; they have been formed as institutions built on a brand of moral superiority that requires middle-class stability to participate."

There was always that burden of class in all the churches I visited here. What is there to talk about for me in Christian housewife circles as they talked about vacations, and home décor?  Maybe deconversion came from wilting on the intellectual vine. The Orthodox church seemed more intellectual, that appealed to me and the Catholics have the scholastic tradition. You could be poor far easier in the Catholic church, there may be a little gossip, but there was less demands for money. Poverty also wasn't taught in Catholicism as a personal failing. Think about it, even some of their religious take "vows of poverty".  Why were all the saints tossed away in the evangelical world like they had no good advice about life? Why weren't we allowed examples? That was one thing I missed. 

The evangelical world definitely became classist. That was the strange thing about Christian Nationalists, there's a certain level where you are just "too poor" to be one, and if you need disability, Medicare, Medicaid, as they all yell about the leeches on government, it just doesn't work out!  One thing I noticed while I was a fundamentalist, there was this expectation that everyone owned a house, had children, the wife cooked, cleaned and homeschooled. The expected life never fit my economic parameters. Even among the Catholics I felt the pressure over being childless but it was worse in the evangelical world.  This applies to all the evangelical Christian churches in this area, that push Dave Ramsey, where there is assumption that there is good health, I said to my friends, "Church today is for people who had life go by the script!"

There is a religious caste system. One needs a certain lifestyle to have it all lock together. I found out the hard way the conservative churches expect a certain type of person and the liberal churches do too. I left the UU over this caste system being imposed from the liberal side of things. Could some reject Covid tyranny and be a UU still? The answer for me was No.  I never met another UU who agreed with me on Covid though I met a few ex-UUs online willing to talk to me about it. The conservative world was just as bad. Those who didn't vote Republican or support Trump were almost automatic outsiders. The churches have just grown more political with time. This is one major reason that people don't go to church. Where do independents go? They are tired of politics. 

With multiple denominations and churches, I see the good and bad, the commitment to scripture in evangelical churches is a positive, the Catholic church has their saint and intellectual tradition but then the corruption of the Vatican and them doing things like being involved with the World Economic Forum is not a positive. Roman Catholicism has monasteries and convents and charity programs worldwide.  The Orthodox are more intellectual too, and I can see the positive reasons for the conversion to Orthodox trend in America. They have avoided some of the pitfalls of the Catholic church and are seen as more "ancient". Some evangelicals may point out the "smells and bells" are bringing them in too. There is beauty in these churches with the art alone as well. The fundamentalists and iconoclasts took things too far. 

 The evangelical world fell in love with trends, it always seemed to be constantly changing, Does that stuff hold with time or do people simply get worn out by the latest, greatest thing? I was in when The Prayer of Jabez was popular and Weight Down, and some of that got old, how the newest latest thing was presented as having all the answers but would fade away. While the Catholic church is having some church closures, evangelical churches didn't seem so long lasting. We all knew of popular evangelical churches, that would rise and fall, and often they would close when the popular pastor who was good at sermons left. The consumerism got old, towards the end of my sojourn the churches were selling more diets based on 40 days of fasting. The Purpose Driven life stuff of 20 years ago was a bad influence. It made everyone want to be a 'star" lending itself to narcissism instead of dealing with the fact most people in this world just have ordinary lives. One thought I had about the evangelical world is everything always had to be "new". Sure some stuck to the Bible and taught truth in testing things by scripture, but there's a fault line there when a church gets involved in constant fads. 

The IFB taught me scripture beyond any other church. That was a positive being in that church but sadly they have the things they got wrong too. Some may say just choose a church, Peep and take the good and the bad. I explored things too heavily. Maybe this was the price of being a seeker, and wanting to know what was true. Maybe autism affects this, where I over-analyzed things. I've prayed to God about where to go and simply haven't been shown and haven't been given any direction. Sometimes I think my life is better without church. I read my Bible, pray and read other spiritual books and talk to Christians online and a few in real life. Other times I yearn for the community of a church and think I should be in one, but just get stuck. I don't know where to go. 

Churches are not comfortable places for independent thinkers. This applies to bother liberal and conservative churches. I shouldn't have been so alone in my views with Covid in the UU. It unsettled me and probably will for the rest of my life how everyone there followed it and did not question. People should not have liberal litmus tests applied to them either. Single and childless people in the majority of churches I have been in, were ostracized. Some mainstream evangelical churches I visited appealed to the young but the majority appealed to Boomers and people who had money first. If someone is an "outsider", disabled, etc, that too, made church uncomfortable. The UUs were more accepting and friendly when it came to disabilities and the childless.

 Many are let down promised "great fellowship" and "church families". I got a taste of that  for a time, but didn't realize how extremely rare it was. Many churches have cliques, and it can be hard to break in a new-comer. Things are so transitional in American culture, you can find a group only to have it break up. Remember after I moved my good church closed for a few years and re-opened in a neighboring town. There's around 4-5 of the original members left from 20 years ago. I have some contact on social media, that's how I know. 

Many evangelical and other churches became more structured, where they followed national programs, scripts and business models instead of taking into account what the members wanted and the local community. Some during church classes would institute endless rules of "no cross talk" and more that often served to silence members instead of church leaders. 

If you face hard times, churches will teach that you lack faith to complain too much. Even liberal ones will push programs and messages to "think positive" and focus on the positive and false teachings about forgiveness that really gives place and enablement to abusers.  One issue I had with the evangelical church is they were not honest about suffering or how life could bring suffering. There was too much boosterism and denial of the pain and trouble faced. The Orthodox and Catholics seemed to have better answers about suffering and avoided the prosperity gospel dreck, that taught if you lacked faith, that "bad things" would happen to you.  
 
Some of us women who had life not go by the script, faced pain, censure and judgement especially in conservative Christian circles where depression, anxiety, severe health problems and more were judged as personal shortcomings. Some would be compassionate on the front end, offer prayers and tell us to turn things over to God, but with the passage of time unless your problems were solved, judgement could enter in. "Why won't she get herself together?" "Why isn't her faith being rewarded?" My life became happier being free of these pressures. I do not want them back and that's another reason,  I just never went back to church. Comparison is the thief of joy, and honestly I got tired of trying to integrate into circles where they had no understanding of a life of extreme challenges and judged it.

 I learned to keep more problems to myself to survive but then you think at a certain point "Why go through superficial gestures with people you'll never be close to?" One thing I noticed over the years, is I never met anyone like me in a church situation. I did elsewhere don't get me wrong, I have people I have met with harder lives than me especially women with severe Lipedema. How come I never met one disabled woman who faced economic challenges in the local evangelical churches here? Why were they gone? It's something to think about you know. There were a few in far away rural churches.  When I was Catholic think there was more variety in people in churches, we did have some poor and ill people in my last Catholic church. 

One thing in some of these well-heeled Christian circles, is you learn you will never be "one of them" and you have wasted your time. With the UUs, they did respect both I and my husband as artists and a writer in his case and while we had the socioeconomic chasm, things worked better there. Many people there were to be respected for their work, and art too from the other direction. I do wonder about how false teachings in the Christian religion impact this treatment of "down and out" people. The prosperity gospel is literally infused into the evangelical world all over the place. One can feel the disrespect on the edges. This is why I believe American poor and working class people unless they live in a small rural area with a church full of people in the same position, church is no longer a comfortable place for us. It is worse in the evangelical world too. 

If you have problems, you can see the others growing weary with them. You think, "Why did I share my problems to begin with, with people who don't share in them?" Or if they have any, they'd never dare share them. It seemed very easy to make church people uncomfortable. Some did have very sheltered and comfortable lives. This is a judgement on my part, but it didn't seem to take much to have them clutch their pearls. When I was in the second IFB, I kept my no contact from my family a secret, I referred to a little religious estrangement but kept it vague. It's good I did because the pastor did a sermon about the "wicked" people who go no contact from their families. This was around 2015, and I was 2 years in. That's a sermon I didn't need to hear back then. Christian love and understanding was rare in supply. Even today I see the estranged parent crowd who often are evangelical preach against "no contact" ignoring great parts of the Bible where Jesus warns of the division to come in families.

I do think in churches trying to connect and be part of a group you have very little in common with socioeconomically may be a great burden no matter how nice the people are. Over the years I have asked outside of one regional ministry that ministers to the homeless and poor, and is too far away for me to attend, is why aren't there churches for poor people? Some avoid church because they are tattooed from their past, or don't have the right clothes, appearance and more. This is an issue for me, being so overweight. I am in the 450s, stuck in another plateau, I hope will end soon. Some churches teach that fat people are wicked and openly do so. They assume we are all sinful "gluttons" and ignore medical problems and rare cases. 

Many people are uncomfortable and disappointed by their church experiences. I was happiest in the first IFB and also in the latest UU before Covid and things changed there.  My differing beliefs and renewal of my Christian faith would have had me eventually leave there anyhow. Church hopping definitely is a trend now, some say people treat church like a consumer product to be chosen, but what do they expect when we aren't raised in a church or becoming part of one via extended family, history, or heritage? I talk about this stuff with some religious folks on Substack.

 Religion was determined a lot more by one's family and heritage even just one-two generations ago. Would I still have been a Catholic for life, if I had not been wrenched away from the church I was very close to as a child in Virginia? I've looked the place up, it's still going. It's something to think about. My family was so angry that I left the Catholic church as a young adult but they sowed the seeds too, breaking attachments and being so abusive. The caring nuns there probably kept me from being completely destroyed by my parents too.

 I've had weird thoughts about that move. Why would two parents take their children out of a high-class urban area to move to a dying rust belt town, that is so crime ridden, it has a slang name for drugs and crime? Think of Chiraq for Chicago, the name is like that. My classmates became lawyers and successful. I had the academic chops to have kept up with them back then. The house I lived in then, sold for 1.3 million dollars two years ago. My parents bought it for 77,000. Sometimes I think that move had more to do with control of us kids. It's weird I was talking to my husband about how I was close to the nuns at the church and convent across the street and how I had far more freedom as a 12 year old then I did as a teenager. There are lots of caring people around via the church, it wasn't just the nuns but fellow church members and my 4-H club director right across the street. Later I had the revelation, that while I faced bad abuse, it worsened as a teenager and it's because I no longer had this religious community surrounding me and we became far more isolated. Churches served other social functions, beyond the worship and services, and we are losing those things. 

We moved from a place with buses and subways and dense community to a boring suburb of a dying town where you needed a car to get everywhere and my high school was 13 miles away even keeping me from extracurricular activities. I turned to him and said, "She moved us there, for control!" My father's job was secure by the way, he had not lost it. Maybe there were other reasons but I was thinking about the insanity of that decision and how it put my life on a negative trajectory. It meant major life regression. It's something I never confronted her on. How could you ruin your children's future potential that way? 

If you are always leaving places, maybe church in the old school way is broken. You fumble around always being the "new person". My husband had a point, "We always leave". I apologized but none of the places worked out. He apologized in turn for taking me from my rural community and first decent IFB. We stayed here for medical care we both needed. 

I've been too disappointed to try again. The churches in this community are awful. The UU was a respite but didn't work out. Many churches see the people in seats as a consumer now, not a community or a family. That's one reason CNN said 100,000 churches are going to close. The churches are dying along with the social contract and connection in America. Maybe all those megachurches were like Walmart too, cleaning out the small local churches, but now those megachurches are closing and the churches as a whole are being wiped out. Many Americans have no money for anything extra and many can't afford church donations and service they once were capable of. 

There is a trend of the "unchurched" out there now, people are tired of politics that demand endless conformity, out of touch pastors, spiritual abuse, demands for money they don't have and our society has become too transient with required moves, that mess up church in the way where one doesn't develop the connections and stability to develop a faith in a community. Economic nomads don't do church well.  We seek belonging but it's harder to find. Some may say you were given too many options. I meet others who still have faith in Jesus Christ online and who don't go to church. There are websites out there that question the church system. I wonder what wolves they faced in the pulpits too.  I don't know if I will decide on one in the future or be shown a place to go. Maybe one day, I'll decide on a church, it hasn't happened now.  The church really is believers in Jesus Christ, not organizations or buildings. Everyone wants community and a true church home. Maybe one day, I'll find something but for now it hasn't happened. There's more Christians no longer going to church, and there's many reasons for it. 

Colleges are Panicking!

 

Looks like people are waking up about how college doesn't pay off anymore and they don't want to start their young lives with a giant debt that will be impossible to pay off.  I'm surprised the colleges have gotten away with things this long! More people are figuring out the jobs aren't there. This vlogger points out several times that the college administrators ignore the fact that college is not helping people get jobs anymore and he's right the value goes down if everyone goes!

                                    college stopped paying off for most long ago....

I agree with this commenter: "For decades, colleges were more than willing to benefit from a system that placed enormous amounts of debt on the backs of Americans, with seemingly little accountability for what that debt would mean for students after graduation. So I have little sympathy now that some of those institutions are feeling the consequences. If greed, complacency, and ever-rising costs helped create this situation, then colleges should share in the pain of correcting it."

Those college administrators in the video are so out of touch, one's blathering on about prosperity as the country goes into the second Depression and young people can't find jobs. They do ignore AI's affects as the video states several times. 

Five Hundred Pound Peep: Is College Worth It? Not Anymore!

Robert Crumb Was Right About Covid Too

 

              I bleeped out the curse word so Google won't take this post down.

I saw a comic online and realized Robert Crumb agreed with me about Covid. 

You can see part of the comic here.

This comic is on my list of things to order. There's always the money thing but I have seen snippets online.

Crumb questioned Covid, just like millions of others who refused to take the Covid vaccine and thought something was fishy about the whole affair. His wife Aline sadly took it. She would die of pancreatic cancer soon after.  The cancer diagnosis came before the vaxx based on the comic but I doubt it helped her. Crumb probably tried to talk her out of it like many others with their family and friends. The ill or those with chronic disease were under more pressure to line up. I was very glad to read his daughter agreed more with her father on this issue.

 Crum went through what many independent thinkers during this time did, Crumb got called "paranoid" by his mostly liberal readers. This has happened to me. I usually avoid Covid discussions except with the like-minded but there's been a few rare occasions where I have gotten friends to start questioning things and talk to a few about it though we have disagreed.

This week I learned another old friend is going blind where she lost vision in one eye and another eye is bleeding. She isn't on Ozempic and has no history of diabetes. She is a regretter that blames the vaxx. Another friend has a brain tumor and seizures. Sometimes I just don't understand how people cannot see these patterns. I do have empathy that facing the extent of this evil is a big ask of anyone. 

Crumb had a high IQ and was a reader. The man had faults, don't get me wrong, but I've read his comics since the 1990s, I also read Aline's comics too and one of my major hobbies is the alternative comics world. So I know the Crumb saga pretty well and seen the movies made on him. Yes his views of women sucked and I didn't agree with other stuff he drew.

However he figured out what went on, doing the research. Too bad he thinks he's paranoid. I know people who didn't wake up to the real state of the world until Covid, and it tilted their world. Some never had questioned things before and told me. I've been a conspiracy theorist since the 1990s, we talked about planned pandemics 25 years ago on message boards and obscure newsletters. We may not know every detail, but he names people in this panel that most people have never heard of like Ralph Baric. Many see the front runners, Trump who spewed a lot of garbage and fake conspiracies and Fauci who lied every time he opened his mouth, but some dug deeper like me and Crumb and found the name of the other players that were involved.

Here's some more Covid links about these other names.

Douglas Valentine Interview - How The COVID-19 Police State Was Born In Vietnam

Read Doug Valentine if you ever get a chance to understand what is happening.
"In a 2020 interview, author Doug Valentine linked the U.S. COVID-19 pandemic response to historical covert operations like the Vietnam-era Phoenix Program, arguing that similar surveillance, control, and “public safety” measures have deep roots in Cold War–era intelligence work"

Covid-19 and the curious case of the conspicuous furin cleavage site.

Some suggest that the Covid virus had markers of bioweapons research right in it, like the furin cleavage. There's actually more than that as markers.

Fauci’s preemptive pardon goes back to 2014, when gain of function research was paused—Robby Soave

I noticed years ago very few people knew about Ralph Baric

Five Hundred Pound Peep: Search results for Ralph Baric

More here on Baric's ties to Eco-Health. Peter Daszak was associated with Eco-Health

HOWARD & HASLAM: Football gets an investigation; UNC’s COVID questions get silence – The North State Journal

FOI documents on origins of Covid-19, gain-of-function and biolabs

COVID-19 Origins

Ralph Baric feared COVID rebuttal could be used for 'nefarious purposes'

"In summary: Baric’s Senate statements and documents show he was central to a DARPA‑funded, EcoHealth‑linked gain‑of‑function coronavirus project in 2018, which included engineering a furin cleavage site — a feature later associated with SARS‑CoV‑2 — and has been a focal point in the ongoing debate over COVID‑19’s origins" [From Rand Paul's website, google this one]

Inside the risky bat-virus engineering that links America to Wuhan | MIT Technology Review

Fauci’s diary sheds light on the EcoHealth Alliance and the Wuhan lab -Capital Research Center

A Closer Look at the Dubious Peter Daszak and His Role in the COVID-19 Sham

here's the role Neil Ferguson played. 
“So the real scandal is: Why did anyone ever listen to this guy?” | Statistical Modeling, Causal Inference, and Social Science

Christian Drosten
Christian Drosten - Wikipedia

It was weird to encounter reactions to Crumb, he had a lot of angry readers though I suspect there were a few like me. He read about these different players with Covid, and listed them all along with agencies that were involved. I wish he didn't call himself "Paranoid". We live in a society that the people who ask more questions can be labeled wrongly. I've written before how the phrase "conspiracy theorist" can be abused. You can see some investigative reporters on this list. I miss that profession, we need more of them back!

There are manufactured conspiracies and lies out there, don't get me wrong but many clear-thinking people knew there was a lot of fishy stuff about Covid and the social engineering and all the other stuff that followed. I don't think the full story will ever come to light to the general public. With the latest "plague from Russia" news, I don't know if that's just a hanta virus, monkey pox scare or a would be rerun. The sad thing I think about is they could do this again. 

If you ever get a chance look up BSL labs, where bioweapons are produced and where they add "gain of function" to deadly viruses or some would say experiment with these viruses to "protect us". You can judge for yourself how you feel about that, but anyone here ever read "The Stand" by Stephen King? What about that Russia lady who dropped a test tube? Is that panning out to be anything? Has it fizzled or is it continuing?

. You will see the full extent of insanity among human beings. They have these labs all over America by the way. I don't think Crumb was paranoid. Whether Covid was planned or not [I think it was], think just alone about the risks being taken by themselves. I looked up how many BSL-4 labs there are in America alone, and the number some biology website said was 13. 

Mainstream Press Continues to Go to Bat For Estranged Parents Instead of ACONS

                                   source: from Esther B. Strong on social media

  11 questions to ask yourself before going no contact with a family member | Family | The Guardian

More Adults Are Cutting Off Family. Expert Reveals Surprising Consequences - Newsweek

Do you think in a society like this one, they are going to admit, the realities of narcissism when this society is run by malignant narcissists? Look at the Epstein Files! The Cluster Bs are the ones in charge of the insane asylum. ACONS who are the truth tellers aren't going to get a fair shake in a society full of lies. These mainstream press articles always have that Estranged Parent apologist Joshua Coleman being quoted in them with far more sympathy for the estranged parents. Are there a few innocent estranged parents?  Sure, there are. He ignores everyone else though. He always blames the adult children and says they "expect" too much of their parents! Look at these quotes:

“One of the hardest psychological tasks is distinguishing between what someone should be and what they’re capable of being,” says Coleman. “Many adults understandably long for parents who can become emotionally attuned, validating or apologetic. 

Why is it too much to expect someone you spent many years with in the same household to have basic validation for you? Is the bare minimum that someone is capable of apologizing or validating their child? Does this mean we are to accept complete invalidation? Many of his quotes have these double meanings. It always amounts to minimization and invalidation of ACONS who talk about abusive parents. It's also not a decent quality to be a human being who is completely incapable of apologies. I understand other generations having different qualities. Older people were taught not to share troubles especially among the Silent generation but there's always this underlying message in his words, that the parents could really do no better. They simply weren't capable. This takes any accountability out of the formula. They supposedly weren't to blame!

He repeats this message over and over. I have seen this guy in multiple articles, he is one of the pundits they interview the most about estrangement and he shows his bias for the parents all the time. He is definitely is not batting for the ACON team.

In the first Guardian article, they have another expert who repeats the same message, telling the adult kids they basically "expected too much" and that their parents were "not capable".

Phil Lane, a clinical social worker and psychotherapist who has been estranged from his father for eight years, adds that it’s “important to consider if the other person is willing and/or able to provide what you need. This is not to suggest that we should cut someone off if they don’t meet our expectations, but rather it can help us determine if our expectations are reasonable and if we, not the other person, need to adjust.”

I find these experts clueless in that they seem to deny even the extremes of abuse, and don't realize how far things went for those who went no contact. Many of us adjusted for decades when we still were low contact. At least this one has been no contact before, but I found it weird he concentrated on that idea that we shouldn't cut someone off if they don't meet our expectations. Why do they always question the expectations of the adult children and not those of the estranged parents? Notice it is always the adult children told to adjust and not the parents. They won't even do the middle ground message of telling BOTH to adjust. 

Coleman does his usual dismissive stuff, claiming most families aren't harmful, implying that those who faced "real abuse" must be rarer than Hope Diamonds. See how this works? Tell the estranged adult children they were cruel to people they made too many demands of who simply weren't capable and then continue with the invalidation that most families aren't abusive implying that your family probably wasn't either.

Coleman says: “Most families are neither entirely loving nor entirely harmful.” Therefore, it’s useful to take a second look through adult eyes, which allows us to “understand pressures our parents were facing – mental illness, financial hardship, divorce, trauma, cultural expectations – that were invisible to us as children”. Crucially, though, Coleman adds: “Context doesn’t excuse harmful behaviour.”

What about the adult children's pressures? They have far more financial hardship by the demographics. They have trauma and other problems too. Why is all his concerns only for the parents? Obviously for those who go no contact, the concerns of their own children are invisible [or willfully refused to be acknowledged].

The first article isn't all bad, they have some comments about low contact, that are positive and have people ask if they feel safe. There's worth there, I just wish it was more balanced. The second article has a shocking statistic, that one out of four people are estranged from a family member. This does not surprise me as division in family is increasing. Sadly the Newsweek article quotes a psychologist that blames therapy culture or people going no contact: 

Among them is Richard L. Blake, a psychology Ph.D. and author of new book Cut Off: How Therapy Culture Is Fueling the Parental Estrangement Epidemic, available from Amazon US.

Blake believes the conversation around family estrangement has shifted dramatically in recent years, particularly on social media, where posts about "toxic" family members, trauma and going "no contact" have become increasingly common.

“One of the main myths you hear is you need to cut off toxic family members to protect your mental health,” Blake told Newsweek.

This feels like the usual invalidation of ACONS. Many ACONS have talked about how no contact was necessary for their mental health and the extreme problems they encountered due to narcissistic and other abuse. Are there some cases where things could be worked out? Sure, there are, but why do they minimize what people have gone through? He seems to deny what people are talking about too. As I have written, my own experience was having the therapists stress reconciliation to the point I ended my first no contact to my own detriment. I'm older and don't know if things changed in therapy after I stopped going, but from my own experience I never encountered therapists that pushed no contact.

 He obviously sees no contact as a negative. One thing I find odd about these psychologists, is they ignore the utter rejection that many ACONs had already faced, the "They left me before I left them" phenomenon. They just seem to ignore multiple basics. Why are they always playing defense for the toxic or abusive family members? One odd thing with these articles, is these psychologists make endless assumptions about family based on their own experiences. They even wrongly surmise that all the abusive parents are pining for their adult children's return. With many of these families, the scapegoat walks, and no one cares, they just find a replacement for them. 

One thing I notice about articles like this is they'll throw in a line or two to cover the very abusive situations but the whole tone of the article is that the wayward "bad" grown up kids are the ones in the wrong and not being understanding or giving enough to their parents and other family members. This one got even more odd as this psychologist claims that mental illness wasn't affected by abusive parents. This too goes against endless messages from ACONs who have suffered from anxiety, depression and worse from abuse.

"What surprised me was that the assumption that parents are causing someone's mental illness doesn't seem to hold up particularly well when it's tested in people who actually go no contact," Blake said." I don't know what world this guy lives in to ignore endless situations where mental health is adversely affected directly. I'd love to sit down with this guy and tell him how narcissistic abuse affects severe anxiety disorders.

Blake goes on talking about how family is forever and other older tropes about family. Doesn't he realize family has changed? Family is not the same. Many who went no contact were already outcasts. I've talked about the changes in finances, distance and other social impacts in my "Demise of the American Family" articles.

Five Hundred Pound Peep: The Demise of the American Family: The World of Regretful Parents

Five Hundred Pound Peep: The Demise of the American Family 2: So Much Horrific Abuse!

Five Hundred Pound Peep: The Demise of the American Family 3: The Economic Chasm is Causing the Estrangement Too.

Five Hundred Pound Peep: The Demise of the American Family 4: Distance Was Part of It

The Newsweek article gives a caveat too, "Not everyone agrees with that assessment. Many therapists and mental health experts argue that estrangement can be a necessary response to abuse, neglect or ongoing harmful behavior." but why are they quoting all these psychologists and others who say otherwise and stress that "no contact" is a harmful or overreacting trend?

 Why are they quoting psychologists that blame therapy culture? Where are the representatives being quoted who are supporting ACONS? It's not like they couldn't find one, there's multiple therapists online who warn about narcissistic abuse and who support ACONS. Why didn't they ask Rebecca C. Mandeville who wrote Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed: Help and Hope for Adults in the Family Scapegoat Role for an interview? 

Instead, we get these psychologists and other professionals who minimize the effects of abuse. I don't care if they interview innocent victims or talk about situations where there could be reconciliation, but they do true abuse victims and ACONS a disservice in these articles. Do you think mainstream press is biased about these things? I do. Hmm, maybe they fear the populace casting a jaundiced eye upon the Epstein Class and realizing how many in power act like their abusive parents. 

Blake in this article too, talks about the extremely abusive situations, "People justifiably should be cut off," he said. "[Those] who are abusive, criminal or genuinely dangerous." but have they taken a look around lately? Do they know how bad things are getting? Why do they always stress those who have minor disagreements? From my own experience, no one goes no contact for years and years over minor tiffs. There many be disagreements and fights in normal families, but it works far different. Sometimes I find the mixed messages of these pro-estranged parents articles annoying to the max. They cover their butts to not tell the "Child Called It" level of abused people to go racing back to cruel parents but the whole article tone is minimization of what multiple people are going through. How many of us were told "It's not that bad, your mother loves you!" That's the tone of these interviews.

There's an obtuseness with these articles. They don't understand how narcissistic personality disorder works, they make the assumption that the parents are all "reasonable" people who want to work things out and who "care". "When people feel heard and understood, even when you disagree with their interpretation of events, that's often where healing begins," he said. Doesn't he understand, we are talking with most who go no contact, there's been decades of not being heard or understood? He also doesn't realize that the truly toxic simply do not care. 

We deserve better than these biased articles. I get tired of the "we are so reasonable, you can work it out crowd" who have no idea what ACONS have been dealing with. They seem to understand nothing about narcissistic abuse and ignore the endless societal changes that have led to family estrangement too. 

We All Hate Your Books!

 Men Don’t Hate Reading. They Hate Your Book

I hate their books too.

Wealthy liberal women in NYC took over publishing and it shows. To find anything decent to read at the library nowadays, I've had to go to all old and classic books. That was the reason for my reading list.  It was borne out desperation and disappointment with the "new" stuff.

All the fiction seemed to be about professional wealthier women, there never was anything representing my life. You don't see poor people in fiction very often unless it's a specialized niche. The fiction is all marketed to the "middle class" plus bourgeoise. Well, they are the ones buying the books but the quality has sunk like a rock. One odd thing I have noticed is the emotional tone of old books is different. The characters are cook-cutter in comparison.  Abstract Truth is right about the formula.

"There are all sorts of creative variations on the story. She opens a bookshop, a dress shop, a bakery, or an inn on a Greek island or Nantucket. Maybe a distant aunt dies—Great-Aunt Millicent Pendergast—and leaves a fortune to the heroine because she once saw a spark in her as a little girl. The narrative is flowery and nauseating and full of feeling and description. Or perhaps she returns to the town she swore she would never return to and meets a rugged carpenter who is tortured but secretly wealthy and has chosen to work with his hands because money never brought him happiness.

By page 287, she discovers that she has been living for everyone but herself and has finally liberated herself from the horrible oppression of patriarchal submission."

Everyone in these books is rich, and their family is loving too. For years, at a Lutheran book club, I got the Christian variations of these secular books. In those the rugged carpenter always married the female character at the end of the book, and he got saved or she did. There usually was a Grandma character and a "sassy" friend who always set her straight too. Even non-evangelical churches were reading these books. Oddly most of the settings were in the 1800s-the 1940s before society got too degenerate or something.

It's interesting he talks about how Steinbeck appealed to people of all politics. Yes, that's stands out. Authors could bring in many different types of people as fans. People wanted to see how others thought not just get preached to. It's weird like a majority of the fiction books are only written for middle class or above "ladies who lunch". The men are being left out. What's a man supposed to read old Western novels? I find myself looking for fewer in number books that are written for a male audiences, because I know they'll be better. 

 Who really can relate to any of these boring characters. How come there's never a book written about a fat woman? I know of ONE, "She's Come Undone" by Wally Lamb and I like Wally Lamb but still feel pissed the character lost weight at the end and became a thin person. Check the link to see what I said about it in 2011.

You never see books on poor people either. Sometimes, once in a while there will be a book about suffering people overseas or ethnic fiction that explores poverty, but you rarely ever see any poor Americans. Lionel Shriver wrote about future poor Americans in The Mandibles: A Family, 2029-2047 but that book would be an exception.  Disabled characters are rarer than Dodo birds. There are a few books about old people like the "A Man Called Ove", but they are uncommon. I find myself reading more African American authors, who faced the world of hard knocks more often. There was this really good fiction book about a black school teacher I read months ago, where he left a prep school to teach in the inner city some months ago. The title is evading me right now but once I remember it, I'll post it. So, I still find some good fiction but it's getting harder.  I relate to books like these far more then Sherie writing about her European vacations and endless long lines of lovers while she solves mysteries about missing antiques. 

One thing about me is if I see something that is self published, I grab it off the shelf and try to go to independent presses for decent reading material when I can afford it. There in that world you will find a few things different from the norm. My reading adventures have been vastly enhanced too, going to the world of older and classic books.