Both Sides: Still Wrong

My opinions about NAAFA are still the same. These seem to be two ladies who are making the new size acceptance rounds in the media. I find the lady, Jeanette DePatie, who teaches exercise fascinating. She admits later in the video, she did a marathon. I know that would not be possible for the lady, Julianne Wotasik, who is in the 400s sitting next to her. Julianne seems to be a well spoken and put together woman, but she is going down the wrong path, she is already super-sized and it saddens me they even forced her to sit awkwardly up on those high stools. Exercise is a good thing and fighting weight discrimination, both of those I do agree on but as I have said before, why accept a health condition that is so painful? The "Fat Shame" side and "We Must Love our Fat" side all work with each other.

Meme Roth just spouts the same nonsense, but then she is just the other side of the coin as I have said before: Both sides are WRONG.

Does Fat Mean Being Stared At?

Overweight woman photographs strangers staring at her

An obese woman has captured the cruel looks and stares she attracts in public by photographing herself in different social settings. Haley Morris-Cafiero, 37, an artist from Memphis, Tennessee, is seen sitting in restaurants, out shopping and strolling around bustling tourist attractions such as Times Square while curious passers-by are captured in the background. 

Talking about the revealing collection of images she writes on her website: 'I have always been aware of people making faces, commenting and laughing at me about my size.' She admits that her weight has been a constant battle and growing up she often felt 'left out and awkward'. Instead of talking about her body she refers to 'my uncontrollable exterior'. 

On the subject of her eating habits she told MailOnline: 'My biggest temptation has to be donuts. They contain all of the caloric evils in one round, portable container: fried, bread and sugar,' Explaining what inspired her picture series titled Wait Watchers, she said: 'I decided to photograph myself sitting alone on the Times Square stairs to capture my solitude in a busy crowd.

I'm not so sure about this. What if the people were looking at her getting her picture taken? Was the camera even hidden? If it wasn't you are not going to get a fair look, people are going to wonder why the camera is there? In my area of the country, she is not that fat, she is not exceptional, she would blur into the background mostly. Even in the picture above, the woman in the plaid coat is near her size.

She does seem kind of awkward, that alone can attract people's attention. Don't take this wrong, I think fat people have the right to dress badly as everyone else and be left in peace, but I found myself thinking, if I was that size and with the wide variety of clothes in size 18-20, the size I am guessing she wears, I'd be dressed a whole lot better. Clothing comes near and dear for us super-sized folks. She seems to dress "young" for her age. Hope folks don't get upset with me for saying that, maybe I have this personal bugaboo about fat women who dress so down almost reinforcing the role they are expected to play. Rebel a bit, and allow yourself some style.

That may be more about "me", but I found myself thinking and feeling guilty about it, "Why are you dressed so badly, why are you wearing red shoes with the primary colors blue and green!- Fashion alert!" Remember I am poor myself and probably break endless fashion rules, but that one bugged me. She dresses like she is still a teen. Clinton and Stacy could have a field day on "What Not To Wear". I wish she would buy herself a pretty dress and a nice necklace to wear or even something that she is COMFORTABLE in wearing.

Anyhow, one other thing I thought, is "YOU ARE BARELY FAT!" Ok, she isn't svelte, but I could go to the local Wal-mart and find 10 people who outweigh her by at least 150lbs within 20 minutes. Does she expect people to stare being that weight? Isn't this setting one's self up as a victim? And how is someone like myself to feel who is 500lbs who this woman would be functional and "thin" in comparison to?

People stared at me. When I was near 700lbs, I lived in a big city, and well they looked, I was so unique, it was like the circus came to town as I bumbled down the sidewalk at a huge weight. I had to learn to get used to it, and had the attitude "Give them something to look at!" I know today if I am "new" somewhere, I can get the CURIOSITY looks and yes I even get the RUDE looks, every supersized fat person knows. Today I weigh less, but I am still hugely fat and I am tromping around with a hearing aid, a leg double the size of the other and either a cane or a walker. When I go without the walker, I trumble around from side to side with the cane, because my balance is gone so I do not have a normal gait. One thing being an artist myself, my dress style is different, and well I do stand out, and do not wear what people consider "average fashion", think "hippie art teacher" in long dresses. I dress for myself. Yes I sure do, I wear what is comfortable to me and what I LIKE.

She is young, well 7 years younger then me, one thing when you grow old enough, there is less gawking. There is a lot of older and fatter people out there. Past a certain age, it just doesn't matter. Once you enter "grandma" territory, even if you are childless, there does seem to be less judgment out there based on your looks. That said however why walk around in pain from people judging your looks?

My balding head, skin sores, and almost 700lb body was a trial by fire, that allowed me to bust open the locks on the beauty prison and escape for good. I wonder if I walk around now imparting the viewpoint it doesn't matter. Look all you want if you want. Some may say, hey you've left your mug off your own blog for over three years. I posted one picture of my body on here. But isn't that the point? Why should EVERYTHING be about our looks? I want my looks to take backseat to what I have to say. Now what would I say to this lady if I ever met her?  I would say, "you are healthy, you are only mildly overweight, you have a good career as an art professor, life's not that bad!"

Maybe life for me has been easier having spent my life living in two smaller towns, the last one quite small and this one just a bit larger. If a place is small enough, you do ebb into the background with time, everyone's seen you so you are no longer a "shock" or a "curiosity".

I went around my last town and this one, not really even thinking about anyone looking at me. The last time anyone made fun of me overtly, was two times in the last five years. I had this woman at the library give me this horrified look of disgust who turned giggling to her friend next to her, and this woman at a health class for the elderly and disabled say mean things to me for being fat. So it's going to happen. What do you do? Try and stand up for yourself and move to the nice people. There is always going to be someone who doesn't like someone for the way they look or even are.

I just don't buy this idea that a size 18 woman in American society is being stared at for being fat when the AVERAGE American woman is only 3 sizes off.  Take pictures of me walking around, let's see what happens, people in small towns smile at each other. I'd like to catch pictures of people SMILING at me. Am I crazy? The auto shop man smiled at me, the waitress did, the people at book club, when I last got out and around.

Could I make an art show of that? Look I know fat discrimination exists but looks aren't everything. Be someone beyond your looks. Does anyone understand what I mean here? Those other people in the crowd even if they are not fat they have troubles too.

My response to Marily Wann's Latest: "You Can Be Fat and Fit!"

[cite for picture above]

Big Deal: You Can Be Fat and Fit

I am going to start this with the caveat that there can be people of large sizes and large proportions who certainly can be in great shape, aerobically and otherwise. The large sized weight lifter that made it to the Olympics is probably in better shape then most large people. There are football players, wrestlers and others who play sports at heavier and larger sizes. There are many midsized people who do enjoy sports, dancing and active living. All the best to them. Stay as active as you can and enjoy life as much as you can no matter your size. A lot of people MY size are totally bedbound, the housebound doctors have told me, so I even say by the grace of God go I. So enjoy but now I must address yet another article that just adds to the pile of confusion out there. Are there Healthy smaller fat people? Sure. Are the scientists finding proof, that one doesn't have to be a skinny-minny to be "healthy" and when it comes to some problems like pneumonia that it actually may be a detriment...Sure.

But newsflash....this is up to a certain point. In most cases dependent on height, up to the mid-200s line.

Over 300lbs for most people, the breathing is affected, movement is affected and more. I mean how far does the delusion have to go and the active denials? Sad to say this one even made it to mainstream media on CNN

Marilyn Wann states in the article...

"Another recent study found people who were "metabolically healthy" and overweight or obese had no higher death risk than metabolically healthy "normal" weight people."

How many fat people are "metabolically healthy"? That would be an interesting question to ask especially for the supersized given the very idea of metabolism has been set aside by the diet industry. I obviously am NOT metabolically healthy. Though would they say someone at a supersized weight who suffers from eating disorders which has led them to a high weight is? I am a bit confused by that study and doubt it applies to those in the super-sized weight categories.

Wann continues:

"I take an interest in the topic because I'm fat and because I don't have a death wish. I'm also interested because, like so many fat people, I've encountered weight discrimination when I seek routine medical care. I was 26 years old when I was denied the right to purchase health insurance. I had no significant history of illness or injury. I was just fat. That day, I became a fat rights activist."

What is this talk about a "death wish"? I often have pondered what if Wann did get ill? It is strange to me I am still hearing the same lines written in the mid 1990s. Most women her age, she is two years older then me which makes her 46, are starting to face some health problems, that includes THIN women. Most of my friends who have hit the age of 40 or over have dealt with at least ONE health issue that took some degree of comprehensive health care. She seems to have a very strong Baby Boomer ethos rather then that of a Generation Xer with a whole "we are going to live forever" theme to it.

Does illness as a fat person mean having a "death wish" or that you did something wrong? This is the "healthism" stuff I've mentioned in passing.  One ponders this. And who cares if she had some history of injury or illness? Should anyone who hasn't been there think anything less of anyone who has? Should one give out medals to those blessed with good genetics and good fortune in avoiding car accidents, thyroid issues, some arthritis,  a hole in the snow to trip in, or a cup of too hot of coffee spilling on the leg? She is right about weight discrimination in the medical arena, I certainly have explored that issue myself. She is also correct about the non availability of medical equipment but should the response of the fat be an enforced smiles, "we aren't that sick anyhow" response? Or demanding that some changes be made to the above? Yes too much blaming the fat happens and weight loss techniques like WLS that fail and maim and all the biases!  But what if I said to Marilyn Wann, fat is often the RESULT of illness a symptom in itself, that is where size activists who believe the way she does, refuse to get on board. She continues in the article to praise HAES which I of course disagree with. She talks about those living to 65. Long-lived society?, actually the lifespans in America are dropping.

"Here's a finding from the recent research that didn't make the headlines: For people over 65, being fat wasn't associated with increased risk, not even for the fattest old people. When do most people die, in our increasingly long-lived society? Over age 65, perhaps?"

This part of her article really disturbed me though....

"I also learned this week that a highly accurate way to predict a person's risk of dying is to see how easily they can get up from the floor. I'm trying to imagine how different our health care system would be if, instead of focusing on weight and weight loss, caregivers did the sitting-rising test instead."

How many supersized especially extremely super-sized people can get off the floor? I fail this test massively. Why? I fell down twice and know I cannot get off the floor. I was stuck and it was terrifying both times, and in one case, needed three grown men to help get me up to the place where I could finish the job in getting up all the way. Wann seems to have this edge to her articles where someone being sick, is enough to prove them wrong or "bad". That one would be an interesting sociological study and essay. We live in a society now where sick equals someone is "bad", instead of just with the admittance of the natural flow of things on this earth. Why must caregivers do the sitting-rising test? That one confused me. Okay my thin doctor gets down on the ground and gets up? So what? They probably can go camping and other things I miss. What does that prove? Did she think this one through?

With my failures to get off the floor, at least I was saved the medical bills from calling the paramedics to bring me to a standing position. My first fall I wrote about and the second one I had only weeks later, and at that point switched to a walker due to my balance issues. Since this summer there hasn't been any more falls. For years, due to youth, and after my initial weight loss from the massive weight gain, I did practice getting on the floor and then getting up, to make sure I still "could" but I lost the ability with time anyway, and remember in my case, I am not bedbound and tried to stay as active as I could including physical therapy. So what does that test say to fat people but hey you midsized people who can still get down on the floor and play with your puppy or your kids or scrub a spot on the floor are okay and those of you whose weight has become too heavy for you to lift off the floor are not? Is she living in reality here?

Hey I could take some of these edicts from on high if she did admit, "OK I am talking for smaller sized fat people here, I know you supersized or in my case extreme super-sized folks have other concerns" but she does not, she expects the HAES formula to work, and issues a blanket edict of "You Can be Fat and Fit!" Um no..... I am even facing battling a leg infection over the last month, I am not sure what has brought on the reaffirmed battles with leg infections, this time with huge fevers to go along with them, once I hit near 104. Trust me I am sad because I struggled with this for years, having 6-7 of these a year for so long and many times in the hospital, and recently I went almost an entire year without a leg infection in my lymphedema leg and being thrown back into the infection merry-go-round obviously is very frightening to me. I almost have lost my life to this stuff before. What brought it on? I am not sure, and even have the worrying feeling that my intense commitment to a physical therapy and walking program brought these latest infections on despite improved sugars.
Hey I write this blog knowing I live in a society where the prevailing ethos is unless you are healthy and well, [and wealthy in a lot of cases] you aren't worth listening too, but since it's an ethos I reject, I speak out anyway.


Wann continues:

"How much healthier would we be? How much more would we actually enjoy healthy living, free from weight judgment? How much time and money would we save? How much discrimination and human tragedy could we avoid? I'm guessing it'd be tons."

How about just some reality? How about some understanding? How about some size activists admitting that people like me exist? How about telling the truth about weight while at the same time demanding good treatment for fat people and good medical care without shame and hatred even if we are indeed stuck on the floor when we fall down? How about admitting what is going on? 

See:

Health At Every Size? And Healthism in the Size Acceptance Movement"

"Seeing Through the Obesity Lies"

Only The Positive Side of Fatness Can Be Discussed?

I knew size acceptance was bad with the censorship even years ago, but didn't know how hard and fast their ideological rules held or had grown over the ten years, I was totally detached from their world. I found this written about my blog. She had commented on that other blog in dispute with my own.

I have realized most likely I will be avoiding all size acceptance blogs, why bother if talking to these people is like talking to brick walls? I will still be on the outlook for fellow independent thinkers.

If anyone who is in my size category reads this blog, please honestly look at what I have faced, they do not want you in their movement, you disprove their false theories. Actually given I stand against discrimination against the overweight, their incredible block-headed positions that refuse to "LISTEN" have been astounding. I am ok with people who are happy to be fat, who never want to go on a diet again but explaining things from my perspective, is a perspective, they want nothing to do with. I often have said sometimes the worse hatred for the super-sized person, can come from the midsized crowd, and while I have friends of all sizes from the extremely thin to even at or near the weights I have been, you meet the types, who fear being you. You represent their deepest fears, thus the automatic loathing, anger and more. I know this is true in the hyper-radical circles of size acceptance. The claims of "you only think of yourself"--the world doesn't revolve around YOU, is just more distraction.

Let's begin addressing her points:

Every now and then, someone will make the rounds of FA blogs and basically criticize fat acceptance for being fat acceptance. They want to talk about how much they hate being fat. They want to discuss a cure for obesity that doesn’t involve dieting or surgery. They don’t BLAME fat people, of course. They just want them to stop being fat because it obviously is an unhealthy, unhappy existence. They want to talk about the “other side” of obesity.

It is interesting she mentions this as a recurring theme. I suppose they have driven off fat people like myself they wish to silence or well refuse to listen to. I guess I live an odd life, in that I can have interesting conversations with people on the liberal to the conservative spectrum, I guess I do not get this new American tendency to shut out those who do not fit your specific demographic but these women, seem even unable to engage. Their immediate reaction is to say, GO AWAY!, hands slapped over both ears. Now why is that? Where have I EVER said I want anyone to stop being fat as if I dream of a dystopian world of thin-only people? That is hyperbole to the max. As I wrote on another blog entry what is wrong with a cure? None of them ever answered that. Strange how they never have an answer to such questions.

No I do not blame fat people but obviously this person BLAMES me, for not being the super-healthy, extremely happy fat icons she only accepts in her inner circle. That is yet another level of extreme hypocrisy. As I have said on this blog, if you are dealing with severe obesity, your very existence threatens their whole fat acceptance house of sticks.

Our culture is full of opportunities of discuss the “other side” of obesity.

Where? Is she telling me I have to slink back to the diet mongers and fat haters, because I will not drink the fat acceptance Kool-Aid, slap a smile on my face and hide the truth? Is that what she desires of anyone who speaks the truth about fat? I have to pick one side of the other? Where on the web matches this blog?

That “other side” of obesity is all that really gets discussed.

Where? There are things I discuss on this blog that have been discussed nowhere else.

It is fat acceptance that is the “other side” of obesity. Because of the near total opposition to our ideas, we have created safe spaces to discuss the positive side of being fat, how to live a satisfying life while fat, and advocating for fat rights as we are.

Ironic how she brings up safe spaces, safe spaces with bars on the windows, maybe... I can address that, pretty bluntly. I am a very large woman, I agree with them about being against the discrimination and functioning at your best while fat, but WHAM, down comes the boom for my other viewpoints regarding obesity or even sharing factual aspects of my life. By the way, she can try to portray me as a woeful victim that should be shoved over the shining fat happy people boat but I am not. This is why I can confront these people in these lies. I am not the type to slink off, and say, "Oh I am sorry." No, I am not sorry for sharing my experiences, or for questioning the status quo.

We discuss what it is like to be fat as well as [insert intersectional identity here]. Yet even this is too much for people opposed to FA. We do not do enough to talk about the “other side” of obesity.

What is "intersectional identity"? Sometimes this liberal new academic speak escapes me. I discuss what it is like to be fat at the higher weights, and she does not like it. She wants it hidden? Why? One thing about this blog, being this weight and stepping out to admit what it is really like is not easy. The world screams at you to go back in your hole and shut up! Well these fat acceptance denizens are the leaders of that.

Well, guess what. That’s not what we do. That’s not what we’re about.

So what are you about? Certainly not being welcoming to people of all sizes of fat.

From what I can tell you are about imposing censorship, control of free speech, thought control, dumbed down thinking, and more disrespect towards those who are in the higher weights.

If you want to do that, go someplace else. FA is not for you, apparently,

Well she is right, FA is not a movement for me, it has become a movement of hyper-liberal elitist radicals from what I can tell who care nothing about the opinions, lives, feelings or realities of those they pretend to represent. If she thinks her arrogant support in the sending me off from that other blog, speaks well for her FA movement, it does not. In fact, it only helps my theory, that FA remains a small exclusive, rejected movement because of these traits.

and there is nothing I can do about that. But I am not oppressing you by not allowing you to hijack my blog for a purpose to which I am opposed.

She can't handle one disagreement? What purpose is that? Does she even know what my purpose is? She seems to miss that by a mile. I want real help and support for fat people, not a bunch of "Up with Fat" nonsense brokers.

For the record, you do not HAVE to like being fat, disabled, or anything else you happen to be.

Who on the planet would like being over 500lbs? Who on the planet would like being disabled? thin or fat? I would like to ask that of her friend too over on Fat Heffalump? Isn't she angry over the fact that I am questioning the whole be happy about being fat paradigm? It just doesn't fit for all of us.

You don’t have to agree with me or any other FA blogger. You don’t have to do anything, and it’s not my job to live your life for you. I provide options and alternative views. It’s not about “oppressing” you.

Hey she can say and do what she wants. I have the right to ban anyone I do not want from this blog too, and yes it is my life. I have the freedom to say she and those like her are WRONG.

But at least I live my life free not letting others tell me what to say, do and be. Their censorship of fat people speaks for itself.

I am glad I left the fat acceptance movement. This is total evidence of what it has become. Where is the acceptance in fat acceptance? Only perky younger midsized women who have good health need apply who can sing the praises of fat to each other and live in delusion land. Now what is interesting is how closed they are to any other opinions.

I have realized engagement with these folks, is a waste of time, so dear reader, you probably will not hear of any more personal battles with them, but I will still write against the two sided set of lies when it comes to obesity. By the way I am not the first one who has encountered this, they do ban anyone [fat or thin] who questions their theories.


Even on the Dead of Winter blog, looks like I am not the first she has pushed off...as for the delusions they remain entrenched:

I have said it before and I will say it again. Fat does not cause health or mobility problems, so curing fat would do no good. We could make all fat people thin, or at least less fat, and the health issues would remain. Even if it did, we cannot make people permanently thin in a safe way.

I have realized some today are just unable to think.

This Space is NOT FOR YOU!

Maybe while I do agree with no discriminating against fat people, and standing up for them, I should totally detach myself from anything size acceptance. What is odd is some of them will speak to their rights, their voices, but if someone has a differing opinion all those *liberal* ideals about "tolerance" go flying out the window. I basically wrote in this discussion I did not agree with the concept of 'fat identity". Do thin people walk around identifying as 'thin people" everywhere they go? Hey my name is Joe, happy to meet you, I am a thin person!"

The more you comment, the more I think this space is not for you. You seem determined to try to form other people to your standards, rather than defining your own standards. Fat Acceptance isn’t a service to take charge of your life for you, it’s about finding your own space, your own voice and your own path. That’s what I’m doing here with MY space, MY voice and MY path. It’s not my job to speak for you.

They have the right to identify themselves as anything they please, even Martian, that is what free speech is all about but what is wrong with me sharing my viewpoint about how the fat identity stuff, seems to be just another trap, and making one's physical nature much more important then it should be? That's MY VOICE. What is odd, is why they defend their voice, their space, they do not allow for others which is hypocritical to the max. They never expect ANYONE to disagree with them?

Just do you know, Five-Hundred Pound Peep has been making the rounds of FA blogs basically criticizing fat acceptance for being fat acceptance. She came onto my blog more than once to tell me that FA was wrong for encouraging fat pride, for not wanting a cure for obesity, and a number of other things I won’t get into right now. The point is she is against much of what FA stands for and is demanding that FA allow her their spaces to promote those points of view.

They are right I do not agree with all the mandates of "fat acceptance". What kind of frightens me lately is how so many of them think totally alike, and do not want to hear any other opinions, even those of other fat people, even someone as fat as myself. It's not like I am going to scream at them "Go on a diet!" or something. It is insane. This just gives more credence to my theory that fat acceptance has become a socio-political deception of it's own. Question anything and they consider you "out" and scream at you on their message boards; "This space is not for you!"

Is there any other blog out there of independent-thinking fat people who reject the diet nonsense but haven't drank the fat acceptance Kool-Aid, who just want to censor anyone that makes them feel uncomfortable? I'm over 500lbs for goodness sakes, 522lbs as of last month, 545lbs in April, it's not like I'm a fashion model showing up at their blog to tell them to go on a diet and shut up! But they sure want me to shut up! [What is scary is I had left posts of agreement on there too, and even linked to her blog on my website]

The Size Acceptance Ideologue's List of Rules

I know some here probably think I give size acceptance too hard of a time. I do not regret what I have written. I wish it had truly been a movement and gathering place for obese people for support and help, in my opinion if it had truly been a movement for the fat, instead of just using the fat to advance social programming agendas, all tied to the liberal side of the right/left paradigms [ever wonder why just about every size activist is an extreme liberal?], there would be real research to help obese people, and demands against all the garbage that isn't working. As I have said size acceptance has become the enabler to the abusive fat hating society. The more they tell us fat people are responsible and at fault, for their own conditions and are fat due to failed diets, will power and more, the more size acceptance in their praise and promotion of life altering adipose tissue serves more as the enablers to all the lies. Where does that get anyone? Choose your side....[well I said forget it!] Between the weight loss gurus, who offer nothing that really works, to the sociopath agitators like the Bigger Fatter Blog guy who posts nasty pictures to the extreme hyper fat activists, fat people do not have much to go on anymore. Well I'm sick of all their lies!

Here is a list of the size acceptance rules out there. Yes I know there are some exceptions, and admit speaking in generalities. Having broken many of these, I have found myself banned at many a size acceptance website. Even trying to get traffic up here, is difficult, because with the exception of a few blogs, censorship is heavy in the size acceptance world. This blog gets removed fast!

1.Never admit any pain when it comes to obesity.

Hey we know this is NOT this is not allowed. As I have shared on this blog, I am even having comments ERASED off size acceptance blogs. Sharing nitty gritty "hard" stuff about being fat especially among mid-sized and healthy brethern is not permitted. When it comes to the ultra-fat, nursing homes, loss of mobility and other problems are to be rapidly hidden behind closed doors.

2. You must love your fat no matter what it does to you. You must tell the world celebrate fat.

Obviously I am failing at that one. I won't tell any of you celebrate fat and by the way, I hate the diets and all the nonsense too, but telling people to love their fat is like telling an amputee victim to love their stump or a deaf person to love their non-working ears. To me, its a cop out, running from the diet mongers does not translate to lying to the world and saying being over 500lbs is great! Staying alive to me comes before groveling for anyone's acceptance.

3. You must be an extreme liberal. [hey I have noticed that there doesn't seem to be many Fox news watchers and people against Obama in the size acceptance camp. By the way I can't stand Fox news and am not a Republican either myself. There are also "progressives" who are more independent minded, of course. Why are size acceptance circles overall far more liberal and the kind of liberals who still love Obama even though he has continued all of Bush's wars and policies? I think this probably is because those against size discrimination and want to codify it, still believe the government can end size discrimination via "rule of law". I find that rather dubious, your boss may know if he calls you "fatty" at work, in certain areas you probably can sue him, but if you apply for a job, and aren't hired because you are fat, try proving it! More government power and intervention with fat people means fat camps one day, and having your BMI tracked, so wake up people!

4. You must defend everything fat related, even the woman that wants to be the fattest woman in the world and yes I have seen that done on a variety of size acceptance blogs.

5. Do not question the status quo. No one in size acceptance is questioning the inner reasons why people are growing fatter and why the obesity epidemic is out of control refusing to see the profit that is attached. Things like GMO and adulterated food remain off the radar as well as the pool of toxins we are all swimming in. Very few are questioning the corporate and other interests that are forwarding the obesity epidemic.

6. BODIES come before mind, souls, etc. I have noticed this in size acceptance for years, it is a growing trend in this world, as a whole, a shallowness, a denial of character where the fat activists become just as looks obsessed as their thin sisters. Otherwise why are the academics promoting nonsense such as "fat identity"? My whole life has been trying to get the morally deficient to see beyond the fat.

See: "Thought Crime and Size Acceptance, Ideologues and The Big Brush-Off"

Part II: Me and The Size Acceptance Ideologues

Years ago on a few message boards regarding size acceptance, I used to get in trouble there too.

It was pretty much the same thing. Hey this is my website at least and can speak my mind without being censored though they'll wipe every comment quicker then any 1984 civil servant rewriting history for Big Brother.

You know one thing that isn't easy in this world is holding your ground when the group, tells you how very wrong you are and lacking in every positive attribute they can think of. All I know is to go their way, I am supposed to suspend reality itself and live in some sort of fantasty world. I probably have stepped on a few toes, with the two sides against the middle argument, the whole LOVE YOUR FAT side, actually helping the FAT HATER side OUT. Even one poster posted some stuff where she kind of lost me, she had good thoughts to share too.... I do not buy the premise that I have to prove how self-loving I am or not to have others give me worth, my worth comes from God, which I know even naming God, may give some of the hyper-liberals of size acceptance a few shudders, but there it remains. In other words, how come, when you try to get people to "think" deeper about this stuff, they always want to slap you with the "you have too low self esteem" 2 x 4? I guess because it works on a lot of people.

I *think* this could be about me. Maybe it isn't and hopefully I'm wrong. I like the blogger, she has interesting thoughts on freedom I find enjoyable. I'm a bit confused on this stuff, what is "healthy weight mysticism"? Some of the weird terms throw me off. Am I crazy to deem 700lbs-500lbs as being "unhealthy"? Stop the world from spinning I want to get off!

A fat person, or former fat person, buying into the ‘healthy weight’ mysticism is not ground-breaking.

In fact? It’s downright mainstream.

A fat person, or former fat person, blaming themselves for how our culture (mis)treats fat people and (mis)characterizes the fat experience is not ground-breaking. We are (mis)fits, after all, in that we are outliers, living in a world built for those who are smaller than we are. Self-blame for nonconformity is such a normal social response that it hasn’t seen a ground-breaking since Genesis.

What does she mean by self-blame? Didn't she read the rest of the blog, when I have shared how I got to be where I am at? And what does she mean by "mischaracterize the fat experience"? Does she even understand or even guess at what life at the higher weights could be? I guess if you do not follow the party line, you are automatically self-hating. How strange, well they know how to manipulate arguments don't they. If anything wanting to stay alive and desiring that MORE IS DONE for FAT PEOPLE beyond the FAILED pathways, I think shows more self-love and love for others then anything else.

As for non-conformity, who is the conformist, the one who stands with the crowd or the one who takes the heat, making a solitary stand? Let's not forget the diet mongers, weight loss surgery types and "thin to win" people aren't giving me any high fives either. According to these types, you'd think I had signed a Weight Watchers contract or something.

A fat person, or a former fat person, coveting the higher status granted by a smaller pants-size is such a foundational part of our culture that it supports a $60 billion-dollar (and growing) industry, not to mention providing employment for bored pseudo-science journos, teevee doctors, washed up celebrities, professional snarks, and any dieter in possession of a word processor.

Forget status, I just want to be able to walk a mile one day and to see my nieces and nephews grow up.

Also considering that 60 billion dollar industry, I've taken issue with them MANY TIMES on this blog. I think they profit off failure and repeat customers which is why the wheel keeps turning, but then I do not want to complicate things for some of these angry readers.

In summary: trashing a lifestyle you fear and failed at (body acceptance) while giving lipservice to some kind of bullshit concern for others under the guise of promoting venerable Healthistic ideals and body-driven moral imperatives isn’t ground-breaking.

How does one fail at size acceptance? That is an interesting premise. Where does the "fear" come in? I know some of these ladies are younger then me, being healthy, mid-sized and being able to dance the night away is a much different exsistence then life in a higher weight body. I suppose I *failed* in that I dared to disagree. Hey that's ok with me. Am I morally degraded for wanting to stay alive? LOL How about whoever else this could be meant for if not for me? How does one pass the size acceptance test, being the most jolly? Can someone fill me in on that one?

It’s the same old bull****. And the attempt to Trojan-horse fat-hate and body-shaming into HAES and FA/SA circles?

I'm getting the feeling that anyone who is over a certain body weight who wants to share their truth and reality, are not welcome in size acceptance but I sort of knew this years ago. They get very angry at anyone who threatens the core beliefs, like size acceptance is a cult, and you can't ask any questions. I should perhaps do a paper or some sort on how size acceptance is a manifestation of the human potential movement but skewed to another market. That may be of interest.

Ah, getting a few of them mad out there, is nothing new to me. Here is a secret for your fat delusionists, most fat people especially people hitting my sizes, know that size acceptance delusions aren't working for them either. We are cool with the "do not discriminate" aspects and calls for fat people to be treated like human beings, but the rest of your garbage about being happy at any weight and refusing any REAL cures and help even at the stratosphere weights is total nonsense.

I'm out there in the world, and talking to folks like myself all the time. I hope I am wrong, this was not meant for me, but you got to wonder why the anger? It's like you can't even have a two way talk whatsoever. Notice how the verbal beat down and censorship comes so quickly and so suddenly. Not one word allowed of dissent. I certainly couldn't even get a word in edgewise.


I noticed over on "The Truth is Radical" blog article, where my secondary comments got censored, Marilyn Wann and others made an appearance.

See this blog entry too...

"Thought Crime and Size Acceptance"

for context...

I found this comment very interesting...on "The Truth is Radical" article

I totally agree that fat is not a disease. It’s just … fat, and, like food, it’s neither good nor bad. It irritates me that so many people are looking for a cure. It’s like trying to find a cure for blonde hair. Completely pointless and seriously who wants everyone to be the same size anyway. How boring would that be.

To me the above rings so weird...

Has this person been near 700lbs and almost DIED?

Fat in it's extreme forms or even less extreme forms HURTS. I do not want people to be the same size, I do not think everyone should be a skinny minny but come on people it's called reality lets go look at a little bit of it. Here too the brush-offs continue.

Marilyn Wann then chimes in....[LOL wonder if she saw my link to this blog]

Marilyn Wann said,

August 1, 2011 at 7:29 pm

Brilliantly argued and supported! I also refuse to agree with any sort of weight horizon. I believe that defining anything in life based on weight is harmful, never helpful. Each one of us, living in our bodies, can seek our own best possible health and happiness in a weight-neutral manner. There are also no guarantees for any of us that we’ll be able to avoid pain or illness or injury or unhappiness. What sort of brittle, unhuman standard is it that would devalue people who experience the inevitable downsides of embodiment?

She refuses to agree with any weight horizon?

What about 800lbs and above? Yes there are people reaching those weights. I know about them from my visit at home doctors, and from own life experiences reaching out to other very overweight people. My health and happiness demands MORE answers then just go "move a little" and some vague nebulous "go eat healthy" which I already do to best of my ability, and so it does for other fat people. Of course Marilyn Wann would never consider anything regarding modern culture or what is being done to our food for even such heights of weight to become even more prevelant. I suppose her eyes would glaze over if I discussed endocrine disrupters. If I told her about the super-fat people my deceased friend knew in her nursing home--[she herself was more midized], who could not walk or had their skin break down, what would Marilyn Wann then have to say? Who is talking about anyone being devalued? Haven't I been devalued by these folks? Yes I have, by basically having my thoughts and opinions censored. Notice how they lump me in automatically with the other side. They are like political idealogues, that can't even imagine that another position beyond the other mainstream side can even exist.

If anything what I have written would give super fat people more value, in that their very lives would be honored as real help and answers would be found or demanded beyond the fat haters and the fat delusionists.

By the way, I do not plan on shutting up. I believe the way things are going there are many people getting fatter and sicker out there too. The delusionists can live in their fantasty world while some of us deal with reality. If people want to know what has held size acceptance back, as anything but just a "fringe" enterprise, there you have it.

Thought Crime and Size Acceptance, Ideologues and The Big Brush-Off

I went to read this article, I got it from the Big Liberty blog...and it's from another blog...called Dead of Winter...

But here is:

"The Truth Is Radical"

I will share two of the posts, but there are more in the comments:

Blogger to me:

This was aimed at the general population, not at every single possible instance there is. I beg to differ that some people are too fat for fat acceptance or that you cannot be healthy at every size (depending on your definition of health.) Indeed, that was my point-I used to think this way until I was radicalized.

Even if fat did cause or exacerbated health problems, we still cannot be made permanently thin in a safe way and doctors should stop prescribing weight loss as the cure.

It may not be radical to you to be told to accept what is before you, and it really isn’t, another point I made in my post.It’s radical to ask to be treated with basic respect. However, it’s radical in our culture of fat hate to say, “I’m fat, get used to it” and stop making concessions that grant fat phobics their arguments. We’re under pressure to make the larger fat phobic culture feel good instead of challenging them with the best we have and our message gets watered down in the process.

Society has a toxic potion to sell at both ends of the spectrum? Sorry, but I find the idea of society promoting fat to any degree laughable.

Oh, and have Americans really gotten fatter? Or is that just the BMI talking? Most people that get labeled “fat” are either only slightly fat or not visibly fat at all. We wouldn’t have as many fat people as we do if the BMI charts did not change to include more people in the fat category.

No, we don’t support a cure for obesity because…we’re fat acceptance. Pretty straightforward really.

My post still stands. You are certainly welcome to comment on whatever you like here, but this is not the place to win converts away from fat acceptance and to hash out your issues with it.

What I Wrote in Response: [well unless it gets taken down]

Again I get the brush off, as if there is only one of me in this country. I know in the size acceptance world that super-fat people are the lowest of the totem pole especially if they are of lower financial means which most are being disabled, and because they do not protray the image that size acceptance wants. I know from friends and even my own doctors there are people who are bedbound, wheelchair bound and even in nursing homes. I can still walk, my life is limited more by the breathing problems-COPD, but I can walk far further then I could acouple years ago. I can still get out and live a bit when the weather is good. I know even on the spectrum, there are people suffering far worse then me.

A person my size yes can stand against fat discrimination and more, and have dignity, but this idea that fat should stand alone and untouched, what if they found a cure? You know that one worked? I am not saying everyone has to be a skinny minny, I am talking about those with severe obesity…it’s like telling a kidney patient, “oh, you do not accept the fact your kidney’s have failed no more research and help for you, go be proud of needing dialysis everyday. Give me a break!

So what has your “radicalization” done but give out the usual status quo? If you read my blog, you will see I am anything BUT an apologist for the rotten diet industry, but no instead of listening you tell me, “Oh this doesn’t apply to you”. Well why wouldn’t it, I’m fat too. Hey call it “the midsized and still healthy fat acceptance movement”, then we can call it a day.

Ok the dieting and WLS is failing most, we cannot be made thin “pernamently” in a thin way, but does this mean saying Ok, now we embrace the health problems for those on the higher end of the spectrum? Why not demand some more answers and better ones that work?

Hey I know in this life, there is a 99.95 chance that I will die fat. So don’t try and claim I expect to wake up lithe tommorow. Maybe I’ll be thinner, or maybe I’ll be bigger from the heart failure, putting on even more fluid, whatever but don’t tell me that I am supposed to “accept” what is a serious health problem and tell the world, Ok now because you have abused us, we will turn the other way and say, “We love our fat!” no matter WHAT it does to us. It is operating only in response to them!. Forget them. I want help, and by the way I used to weight near 700lbs and probably would have been dead 15 years ago, it wasn’t like the size acceptance world was any help then too. Your brush off of me and my issues is nothing new.

I have the self respect to say, “Look you are wrong”. An overabundance of adipose tissue can destroy lives, taking the moral imperatives out of it all. Basically you want me to ignore my own reality, and here you basically are telling me to go away. If anything I worry about midsized women because I was smaller one until my late 20s. So think that one out. .

I don’t care what the fat phobic culture thinks or doesn’t think, I want to stay alive, and if I die young from being fat, maybe my nephews do not have to. Maybe they will be able to get help without all the baggage and social engineering garbage. It’s like the two political parties, two wings of the same predatory bird, well size acceptance has become a dance partner with the diet-fat industry, no one wants a real cure or answers. I know people have gotten fatter, no doubt of it, have lived long enough to see the difference, back in the 90s people my size I never saw them, now I see them all over–the ones who can still get out.

The main post was typical boiler-plate size acceptance stuff, we are radical and standing against the fat-phobes, OK I get it, I just wanted to put my viewpoint out there.

But has anyone wondered if gearing all your positions in response to the fat haters, is the most healthy position? If anything it becomes a dance of two parties, where one makes all decisions in RESPONSE to the decisions the other makes. Sorry to say this, and some may find me unusual to state it, it is a position of WEAKNESS. It merely makes you a puppet to their strings. They scream, "We hate you fat people!", the size acceptance idealogues scream back "Forget you, We Love our Fat!"

Again I am brushed off. Supersized and fat people like me don't matter in the size acceptance world, I learned that long ago. Fat hating Sociopaths will post pictures of us to make fun of us as our bodies go crazy, and then we will have the size acceptance crew say "you do not matter". They hate us too because we represent the "hole" in their arguments and their absolute concessions.

Out of Touch Marilyn Wann: Let's Have a Parade!

I know life is different in wealthy San Francisco, surrounded by loving fat adorers, but how out of touch can someone get?

"A Big Fat Parade Could Expand Living Space For Us All"

Is it just me, am I too serious of a person, or are all the party balloons, clowns, parades and belly dancers in the size acceptance world just a bit too CLOYING?

Yeah I am the personality who wishes it was 1890, collects stamps and loves antiques but there is something about Marilyn Wann that grinds my gears and I find so disingenuous. What about a little self respect? Why do us fat people have to "prove" ourselves to the rest of the world, like on a hyper-jolly freak out wearing pink and or pink hair to win the affections of others? It is actually kind of a world of froth to the more intellectual among us. Even outside to the more conservative, what if you do not relate to or agree with the hyper-liberal identity politics? Sex worker parade? You HAVE got to be kidding me, what does this mean, that now we have to support vice and prostitution too? Well I talked about what I saw in size acceptance myself. I know many in San Francisco have lost it, but guess that tells me enough there.

I vote for a big, fat parade for all of us! As a fat activist, I want people of all body types to waddle with me. A big, fat parade is also a sex-worker parade and an antiracism parade and a parade for gender diversity and a parade with people of different abilities and mobilities and a queer march and an all-ages parade, and more. Because that's who we are.

Instead of making long lists of outsider groups who deserve long-overdue welcome and then debating who's deserving and who isn't, what if we were all welcome all the time?

What would Marilyn Wann say to me, if I told her, I can't walk enough to be in a parade? Remember I do not use a scooter, though I do own one, I actually refused a wheelchair years ago, fearing I would lose mobility. What would a parade mean to my personal life? Some of my friends are thin, are they going to have a THIN parade to counteract my FAT parade? LOL

Then there is her weird "I am so healthy" message, OK we get it. She has been repeating it for years. I agree there are many mid-sized people out there, who while they probably aren't going to do an Iron Man marathon, can be pretty healthy, but what does this say to fat people who aren't? At least she has tempered some of that down.

I'll be there to continue learning what I can do. As a fat activist, I often want to say, "But I'm healthy! Look, I eat my veggies and exercise." While it's fun to flout stereotypes, social justice is unacceptably precarious if it depends on good behavior, or on access to other flavors of unearned privilege. For example, gaining respect for fat people who happen to be rich or healthy or white or able-bodied at the expense of other fat people is just more yuck, not yum. Human rights should be based on the fact that we're all here, not on some begrudging notion that some of us should or would change if we could.

Sigh...my world view doesn't even match these folks, not at all nor do I want it too. It's too bad that fat people are being suckered into this stuff....

Perhaps they see the socialist 'Communist? Left? as their fat salvation for real [notice the name of the group she lovingly mentions CASTRO towards the end...that her friend is in]....however once the gulags are in place, and food is meted out via portion control and fiat, perhaps they ought to rethink that, and understand how food and everything else was controlled even in China under Mao, with every village council counting the food, and number of chickens and pigs.

What is sad is how this type of rhetoric does to affect fat people. "Have a parade!"

Years ago, I got in a conversation with Marilyn Wann or someone claiming to be her online but it was her message board so believed it was her, I think at the time I was near my peak weight and probably about to die, wish I could remember the exact year but it was at least 10 years ago if not more. I told her, "Please go to a nursing home that specializes in bariatrics to see what obesity really does to people and how it ravages lives". She was actually quite offended by this. Even one of my friends who had lost weight but had grown more ill from another condition, was in a nursing home where she saw a score of people too overweight to function in their 30s, and 40s and beyond. Marilyn Wann probably would be in shock that I am even still alive to this day. This was around the time right before I lost weight down from near 700lbs and got involved in my last community. I described my life at the time to her. I felt absolutely no empathy whatsoever, and was condemned for not being "fat positive". She seems to be another "community organizer" and "social engineer" type that cares nothing about normal fat people, just there to influence minds and opinions for the powers that be throwing up distraction. For someone like this, I am sure it's a good money-making gig but not much more then that, but she doesn't speak for me.

Goodbye NAAFA and the rest: Why I left Size Acceptance

Here is my old 2001 article: I left size acceptance many years ago, circa 2000-2001.

Here is updated version for this blog. Over the years, I did get response to my articles with many people in agreement, many repeated my concerns, and told me they were ignored as well. I have noted the size acceptance movement in examining its websites, publications, organizations and spokespeople has declined from late 1990s, honestly I am not surprised.

While some of size acceptance's ideals are sound, which include ending discrimination against fat people and advocating for their rights, the foundations are crumbling. I have noticed while things hit more of a peak in the late 90s, where one saw NAAFA and other size acceptance organizations in the news everywhere, nowadays things seem to have shrunk. Americans have gotten even fatter and corpulence is becoming even more reviled. The Size Acceptance movement as it now and then stands has failed.

Today's primere size acceptance organizations are NAAFA [National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance] and the far lesser known ISAA International Size Acceptance Association. NAAFA as of the late 90s had thousands of members {4,000}, I do not know its present numbers. ISAA being a much less known group, one can only estimate the membership. These groups match in their basic philosophies. There are size acceptance groups with activism as the main endeavor, but many have cropped up focusing on the social end of things, dances, parties, for the overweight people and their "admirer's with Heavenly Bodies in Boston, and even nightclubs such as Club Bounce in California. Here is a list of these groups. Many of these groups sprouted up from the NAAFA fountainhead, though their first priority is social functions rather the activism. When I speak of Size Accceptance in this article, it does encompass some of these groups but focuses mostly on the activism part, and what is being sold by top 'spokesmen" and "women" for size acceptance.

The first reason Size Acceptance has not grown is it promotes fat rather then just dealing with it as a physical characteristic. Sometime around 1980, NAAFA changed its name from National Association to Aid Fat Americans, to National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. This was also a philosophical stand not just a linguistical one.

Fat is great according to the size acceptance minions and while the ideals of fat people deserving right and proper treatment are commendable, this belief flies in the face of scientific logic. The demand for pasted on smiles and glorying in my hugely rotund body, basically failed as I gasped for air merely climbing some stairs.

The big names in size acceptance try to sell some nice sounding ideas such as "Health at Any Size" [does that apply to 600lbs too?] and brush all the health problems that come about from obesity whether the obesity itself is a sympton or not, right under the proverbial carpet. I still remember the day many years ago, where I challenged a certain notable in size acceptance circles, whose more extroverted personality gained her the attention in the national media for a short time, to go visit a bariatric nursing home, and to go see where "fat" could take people.

I get that people who have never exited the mid-sized world where normal living has never ceased may just "not get it" but ignoring the experiences of thousands you proport to represent is willfully neglectful.

Anyone who surpasses the 400lb mark soon learns that bikini parties with the "Padded Lilies" [an actual Size acceptance group that is compromised of mid-sized women who do synchronized swimming, conventions, and fat positive rhetoric soon rings hollow next to their scooter, sleep apnea machine, shortness of breathe and bottles of expensive prescriptions. It is good to be healthy, fit and happy, but where does denial of reality come into the size acceptance presentation on size? Marilyn Wann in her book "Fatso?!" points out at 250lbs how she climbs mountains, and dances for hours without exhaustion. As late as 1995, I would walk 2-3 miles for "fun" myself. But sadly this negates experiences of heavier people who find walking across a parking lot, an exhausting challenge. Fat people can indeed be healthier and in better shape via exercise and better food, but some reality checks are in order.

The SA publications all showed fat women frolicking in swimming pools and doing aerobics. While I liked much of what these publications had to offer, it is sad so many have gone defunct. While these activities are good for the more midsized person with better health, physical realities come crashing through for those who suffer with obesity in it's most severe forms. Those who find their stamina crumbling usually are ironically told to exercise more but not lose any weight. When the first health crises crop up, many did leave size acceptance for the university diet clinics or for weight surgery. I found myself thinking that size acceptance as presented in this country was just the flipside of the coin of the failed diet industry, all desiring to profit off everyone where very little truth was spoken. Years ago before I departed, I talked about this stuff, but the brick walls of refusing to face reality never budged. I doubt, that size activist I mentioned above ever went to go visit that nursing home.

Denying the fact that obesity is a disease or even a disabling condition, size acceptance has put its head in the sand and closed the door long ago on those who were not fat, "fit and healthy". Tracy a past person with PCOS as well, I knew on a size acceptance board had this to say

"I have in the past, held the concept of "size acceptance" dear to my
heart, but at this stage and with my health in the crisis that it is, I cannot
with a clear conscience, advocate or agree with any movement that does not
address the reality of the negative health consequences of severe
obesity."

No size acceptance organizations supports a cure for obesity. None that I know of have called for there to be real medical studies {the ones on supersized people my size are nearly non-existent} or for any real help to be developed. The focus even in the 90s, as I viewed it was almost all social stuff, with only a few working indepth on the "heavier" matters. After all its all about "acceptance" rather then "aiding". The people speaking for the fat are as bad as those who wish to bilk them of their wallets for liquid diets. Imagine a kidney disease foundation telling those with kidney disease they must accept their condition. Fat people are told this is "your lot in life you must accept it". This leaves the fat person out in the cold in general between fad diet charlatans and size acceptance advocates who tell them their only other option is to make the best of it!

Logic was a sold out proposition, as the elephant in the room was ignored, that elephant being, that being "fat" for most fat people is not their perferred way of being. The secret that 99% of people hate being fat, and it wasn't about the discrimination always, but the plain fact for many it hurts, and makes everything harder to do even limiting activities for the mid-sized crowd. As one NAAFA spokesperson said

"It is my position and that of many in the movement that we need to focus on
what we can do to make fat people healthy--not make fat people thin. Right now I
believe that working toward making fat people healthy is a winnable battle--I do
not believe making fat people thin is."

What better position to remain a non-threat to the diet industry complex? But I digress.

This shows that acceptance and promotion of fat was and has been one of the most prevailing goals of size acceptance. Obesity is seen like something like tallness, a normal part of person's makeup. I wonder how a 600lb person who can barely walk is supposed to take this information?

Out of fear and justified loathing of the diet industry, size acceptance took a wholly reactionary position, shoving it's head in the sand. Repeating mantras of "Fat People are healthy" even amid oxygen and wheelchair dependent people, very few are buying into the lie.

The problem is the cost of demanding equal rights for fat people should not have as its price out and out lies and denial. Most Americans know at least one friend or relative who has suffered the out and out social ramifications as well as the physical results of being obese. The public is privy now to the sufferings of the super-obese on the Discovery network. Many fat people outside of the SA network, see it as a group of extremists who have "give up"!

Science is discovering more facts on fat people's behalf that many diseases and conditions have obesity as a sympton including PCOS, Syndrome X, Cushings, side effects of prescription drugs etc. There are also those who do have eating disorders or other conditions, then there are the facets of modern life itself [which I'll be talking about more later]. With all the writing about the futility of diet, which has some truth to it, where is the writing or academics willing to face honestly the complexities of obesity? What I noticed is that the size acceptance community walled itself off from anyone will to do this. NAAFA and groups like it have nothing to offer those who face the results of severe obesity, disabled or not, because they never want to threaten their position of ever admitting fat can be the result of a disease process.

Size acceptance in the 90s, and I doubt this has changed much, had a dark side that was unknown to the public. Being more conservative in my own lifestyle choices, that alone, was reason to depart the world of NAAFA conventions and BBW social gatherings. Some leaders are involved in the selling of plus size erotica and photos. Some "size acceptance" websites, you will find obese women selling videos and nude photographs of themselves to the proverbial "FA" [or fat admirer]. Odd that objectification of fat women, has been one of the results of the "acceptance message."

Many of the so called fat advocacy organizations and social groups then center themselves on "pleasing" the FA. The integrity has been lost by that alone. The FAs [known as "chubby chasers" too] do not want anyone to lose weight as they are sexually attracted to those who are obese. It is a fetish for many who look at weight as the primary factor in choosing a partner. One other debauched world is the one of "feeders" who seek to make their significant partner fatter and "feedees" who want to be fatter. I encountered one woman years ago who had to have serious psychological problems whose life goal was to be 600lbs. Years ago, I told her she was basically inviting the Grim Reaper over for a party, those warnings were not listened to as far as I know.

Size acceptance is a failure, but then the premise of accepting what for most is basically a health issue, that causes uncomfortableness on the low end, and serious health issues on the high end, basically has been a cop out all along. Truth about obesity has been shoved under the carpet and overweight people have remained being handed the same cup of indignity, the diet profit makers have served. Perhaps it is an impossible dream, to think of a group that truly looked out for overweight people and stood up for true help instead of serving as a conduit for all those who want to exploit the fat in different ways.