Friday, June 15, 2012


This one I wrote in reaction to this video Regarding HAES and a new HBO documentary Weight of the Nation

Why do fat people today have only 2 choices?

1. Accept their fat, which can be ok at smaller sizes as long as one's weight remains stable, but means a shorter life span for those of us in the huge weights?

2. JOIN the harmful DIET INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX and accept all their lies and hatred knowing they are there to profit off you and your long term failures.?

Shouldn't there be a place of reason between fat promotion and delusion and fat discrimination and "be thin" at all costs messages?

I know on this blog I have covered many of the studies behind obesity, the chemical toxins, the scientists asking what is going on and far more. Why are those topics neglected in size acceptance and HAES? Because to deal with asking the question about fatter animals and human babies and food adulteration, PCPs and endocrine disrupters, means that their basic premise which is that obesity is to be advanced and promoted JUST FALLS APART.

Ever have thin friends? I have plenty of them. I also have been every size this world has to offer. People know that going from even 150lbs to 190lbs means there are losses. At 150lbs you may be able to walk acouple miles and not feel detrimental effects, at 190lbs, you are getting a little bit tired. Yes there are other factors, health, stamina, fitness, constitution. Even among the 500lb set that varies, I saw a man around my size able to traverse a large grocery store without a scooter, but then I know many are bedbound, but no one at 500lbs is running a marathon.

People know these truths, this is not to put down fat people or say that they should be discriminated against it is the truth. Between 200lbs and 280lbs, I knew at 200lbs or so I could spend hours at an amusement park and think nothing of it, on my feet for 8 hours a day, at 280lbs, I could walk downtown and back a distance of 3-4 miles but would be tired and wiped out for the day once I got home.When I hit 380lbs, the swelling began, I could barely get through the day. When I hit the 400s, walking for recreation got majorly chipped away and ebbed away. The near 700lb world was a frightening morass of being short of breathe constantly even to get across the room, not even being able to lay down without the breathing feeling compromised and other horrors.

Are those things supposed to be ignored?

Even if they are right about the failures of the industrial diet complex...see  #2

Let's think this out....

Even if there are NO ANSWERS that work for obesity TODAY, at this present moment, doesn't anyone wish for better for future generations? Even if I die young, why don't I want my obese nephews to have a better chance of survival to NOT suffer the way I have? How about my 20 something 350lb plus cousin, who is facing not being able to get a job, do I want him to have a miserable middle age? How about the friends I have lost?

Maybe the HAES and size acceptance people need to educate themselves on some of these side issues too, the human endocrine and metabolic system is getting in trouble in our present world, and it's not PERSONAL RESPONSIBLITY running the show. These issues need to be looked at and addressed.

If the world sees a group of fat people saying, "hey we will just accept being fat, and we don't need any 'help'!", hey that may good for a certain segment of the population who are active and doing well, but for many of us obesity IS an ILLNESS or a SYMPTON OF ONE. It seems to be WHITE FLAG TIME. "Ok, you fat haters win, we don't want a real cure or real help, we will "accept" our fat and go whistle by the graveyard."

Yes the fat haters and discriminators work against fat people, trying to shove everyone into a thin mold, but what about reality? What about that life spans are dropping, diabetes is increasing, and other affects are REAL?

For years I have tried to get certain parties to pay attention to these issues. It is hard when you realize the people meant to stand up for your "fat rights", a lot of them are not willing to face reality. I would be ok, with HAES admitting, "LOOK our SYSTEM has LIMITATIONS." It is good for the midsized fat who have tired of the failed diet treadmill. We realize for those facing severe obesity, that there are serious limitations here." The healthy and wealthy fat, who are able to work, and function do not even live in the same world like someone like myself. Being told, you must accept this, and by the way "do your best" is no longer an answer. People are going to be having shorter lives. That is not be a fat hater or down on fat people, it is a FACT.

I will never understand the rejection of any non harmful FAT CURE.

I feel like they are flying the WHITE FLAG. You only got two options they tell us. Ok, maybe TODAY there is FEW OPTIONS, but what about TOMMOROW?


I know I have many times in a variety of different ways.

I never want anyone to go through what I have. I want a future where there is HONESTY.

How many 500lb people are in HAES? A few exceptionally healthy ones? I dare say the first time, you can't breath or sit by the pool in 90 degrees at one of the conference hotels, that social foray would be over.

To me being as "healthy as possible" means ANSWERS not cop-outs. It's the reason I survived 15 years after being near 700lbs. It is the reason I write this blog. Whatever happens to me, I am glad I spoke out. Fat people deserve better.

I think some of the HAES people mean well but they need to look at the BIG PICTURE.

See: Health At Every Size? And Healthism in the Size Acceptance Movement


  1. Thank you for saying this. I have been watching HAES and the backlash and wondering the same thing. I think that in order to have control of your life on any level and be happy you do need to love yourself at any size. But, the reality is that there are actual changes and limitations that occur in your body and some things simply become more difficult to do as you get larger. I don't say that in order to limit others, but just like the face that men and women are different, bodies behave differently depending on the weight that is or isn't on them. Yes technically I guess I can only say that to be true for me, I don't know what other peoples lives are like. I just know that the bigger I get the more effort physical activity becomes, the more my knees crack and pop, the worse my acid reflux gets. Bottom line, my body and what it is capable of changes as the weight comes on or drops off. No group deserves to be hated and everyone has a right to love themselves no matter the body they are carrying around. But I agree that there should be a middle ground in all of this, that place of reason you wrote about. Thank you for speaking out.

  2. Thanks Cija.

    I appreciate your encouraging comments.

    I think instead of brushing off the fact that people do deal with real implications from increased weight, they need to deal with it too as I said above. Weight can bring bad health stuff on and in other cases can be a Sympton of a body gone awry from the get-go. You are right they need to get real about the actual changes and limitations. I believe in terms of ending discrimination against fat people, that forsaking reality helps NO ONE. There is no love in lies. Yes for every person it is different. You are right about that. I have had smaller friends tell me of increased fatigue and other symptons even between the 120-140lb world versa the 170-190lb world and I believe them. Same for those who maybe weighed in high 100s at higher heights and then went into the 200s. Are people to ignore these facts? They are REAL. As I have written on this blog many times, the switch in size acceptance from helping fat people to advancing FAT itself, really changed things around.

    Thanks for saying there should be a place of reason too :)

  3. I've moved over from another thread, I'll post my response here. I try to avoid using the word SURRENDER but I have always felt that's what HAES really is. Even on my website the initial sentiments you'll see is my assertion that fighting your weight WEARS YOU DOWN. If you've read my book, maybe you have, I wrote a section about what I call "cycling out." You get tired of constantly living "on" or "off" a diet and you just want to let it all go, at least for awhile.

    I think people who turn to HAES ARE looking for a way out, a reason to stop fighting and I can understand why they'd want that. I REALLY understand it! But the HAES Kool-Aid is not the answer either. I believe the only answer is to stop listening to everybody else and tune in very deeply to yourself. Figure out what you can do, need to do, and want to do for yourself. For some of us, the fight is VERY tough!! I have refrained from posting links to your site but you might want to check out my new website, I will be adding a video to it soon that I hope will reach a lot of people. Feel free to contribute.

  4. Let's say it this way, Dagny, don't people QUIT when something doesn't work? And for most fat people, they know the constant diet roller coaster is hell on earth. So the surrender for many comes after years of seeing NO RESULTS, or even some who can lose initially who then see the regain after hunger leads them to eat again. I gave up dieting long ago. I "follow" food rules but I'm not into being hungry 24-7 and on me it doesn't let up, doesn't let me fall asleep etc. I still plan to read your book, but plan to as soon as I can. I also have sympathy for the HAES people but as you know I have written GIVE US SOMETHING THAT WORKS! [free of torture and extreme pain] I wonder if all the fat hatred amounts to the world not really wanting to HELP the fat person regain their health. HAES is a white flag of surrender, yes we are bad fatties, we can't expect you scientists to ever help us out while you work on other medical conditions. Sigh.... I believe I have Cushings or some other complex endocrine, autoimmune, genetic or other condition beyond SEVERE PCOS, hypothyroid and the multiple seemingly unrelated health conditions like even going deaf and until things are SOLVED, well, things aren't going to improve for me. Something is very broken in my body and it goes way beyond being overweight. That is what my answer inside says.

  5. Ah ha, one of the posts I had lost track of! Yes, the futility wears people down but I believe that many of us fail because we buy into the projected shame---that we're emotionally weak and there must be "something wrong" with us. We're fat because it's "what's eating you" or you're broken and you "use food for comfort." We're told we just need to go on this diet or that one and write down our goals. NONE OF THAT WORKS!!! It's like spending a lifetime running down blind alleys! You reach a point where you're told you're fat because you're depressed but in fact you're depressed because fighting with your weight can make you crazy.

    Most people do not have to face what you deal with. People like me are generally healthy and we see our health begin to fail when we've been too overweight for too long. Losing weight "fixed" all my health issues. I'm stupid healthy now and I am grateful for it every day.

  6. I am so glad to have found your blog. I sympathise hugely with your health issues and I am so grateful you have taken the time and effort to write your thoughts on these issues.
    I weigh 181- have been putting on weight the last few years through binge eating disorder (ex-bulimic). I too fell for the kool-aid of being fat doesn't affect health, I should eat whatever I feel like and not deny myself. but my body isn't meant to be at this weight- it's a result of bingeing. Although I don't have mobility issues as such, it still involves more effort. I feel stupid and angry for being duped. I too have Asperger's and am getting a support worker soon who will help with shopping and food preparation and taking me swimming so hopefully i will get back to a healthier weight for me. THANK YOU for opening my eyes, and I wish you all the best with your health issues and battle.

  7. I was diagnosed with Lipo-lymphedema/Lipedema Stage IV in 2014, after writing these posts. With this disorder can come multiple hormonal disorders I was already diagnosed with.