A new poem by me: What Being Poor Means

 

                                                       Peep falling down the ladder yet again!

If I publish any of these I'll have to take it down but for now will post it here. When Fat Pat is done, I'm planning an art chapbook/zine of my poetry and art combined. Probably paintings related to what the poems are about. We are sinking back into poverty. My husband just learned of a new layoff to come for one half of his freelance work. This shows really bad economic signals. Think "Depression" not recession. Hopefully he will be able to find more work, but my life is in upheaval yet again with the "bottom falling out". Anyhow here's a poem about what being poor means. 

What Being Poor Means

I think of the brown briefcase

with a million dollars,

my favorite talkative bus driver

found in 1996 under the seat 

I usually sat in. He turned it in. 

Was he insane?

Not on the work schedule that day

this shimmer of change

vaporized.

One slight peek of the green paper

and I would have left the city of 

Big Shoulders that night

for a new state. 

No more bus for me.

God is the angry Dad behind the door

that always says No

and ignores you

My religious years

were spent reading the bible daily 

My pastor preached God blesses those

who obey him

Now pay your tithe of 10 percent!

Some of us never could afford it

I could quote Deuteronomy to Revelation

It didn't fix things

God didn't listen

I didn't care about the suburban house

or diamond ring or fancy vacation

Thrift stores were heaven

We just wanted meaning 

purpose and direction

and the threats to stop.

All the bad stuff came true

as we await another world war

another vat for trillions of dollars

The church family was vaporized

with the crash of 2008

Prayer was begging for the boot

stomping on the face of humanity 

to stop. 

The hand with the Play-Doh 

squeezed harder.

We faked "gratitude"

 but only found it outside

away from civilization

a few sunsets

with red in the sky

above the waters

The ultra rich never lack a dollar for war

and have the money to sell it 

And we are supposed to cheer for the billions for death

in their endless human destroying resets

as we sink under the waves. 

Its time to refuse.

Duper's Delight exploding across 

little troll faces in suits

too many Napoleons with

glints in the eye yearning for pockets to empty

The fraternity rewarded sociopathy

No soup for you!

They don't care about the children

they destroy.

But everyone does what they say

with minds full of coins

cold to the touch 

Grocery shopping in shame with the plastic card

that always says No. Not Today

Guilt for bread as the groceries cost too much

Cheese is a treat from the food pantry

Cabbage for the Willy Wonka grandparents

always boiling and stinking on the stove. 

The farmers worked so hard

but saw instant rewards in black dirt and community

It's having no home, and looking at maps

Where can we pay 500 dollars a month in rent

[to scramble more back] but still find a doctor?

Appalachia? The Upper Pennisula? Maine?

Johnstown Pennsylvania?

One city already died with abandoned houses

and now another is pushing you out.

The poor are the outcasts

and don't even have each other anymore. 

"Lets stay here!" but then how do we survive?

The affluent live in another world

some can't even imagine.

The ones with lands, family and farms want the

safety nets cut away

The ones with good corporate jobs

go with the causes of the system.

The poor are to be hidden away

So they don't talk about them anymore. 

The tent cities are everywhere now

but this time, they don't put them in the news

The new invisible people

all knowing they are not seen.

Hardworking people now with nothing

their car-bedroom 

towed away 

Walmart shuts down the overnight parking

People losing motivation

because getting ahead only

happens for the connected and

superstars now 

and the costs have shot up like rockets.

This country is dying

because the greedy rule

They don't care about us

was the truest statement ever. 

Today I have no mice scampering across the floor

Today there's some food in the kitchen

There's medicine available

The rent was paid on time

but all these things can so easily disappear

One must prepare lest things get wiped away

And that deer in the headlights feeling

never goes away. 

the alone panic

helplessness isn't always learned.

There's a reason people smile less

we all think of escape to the woods now

and a world that makes sense.

They invaded our lives three years ago

and ruined many.

and still there's no accountability

their lies will fill history books yet again.

Standing on that road lost alone in the big city

knowing there wasn't another soul in the world

who cared [before I met my love]

made it's mark. 

We dug, dug, dug out

three times now

to the working class

Up and Down

boxes piled to the ceiling

so many goodbyes

just to survive

There used to be tribes

to share troubles and solve problems

and now there's cold paper

and a few friendly souls

with a box of food

but in reality no money

means others shrink away

Some can hide it until the clothes

start to fray. 

Once a can man always a can man

Those newspapers were heavy

and cookie trays, and wheelchairs

What can we sell today? 

Some poor went to the fairground to sell scraps

I sold a painting to Ireland

Garage sales of lives

and Storage Units of

lost Souls.

. 

This one lady makes videos of the

Hutterite life.

Wish I was still young to convert in.

Grabbing on to

a practical focused life with other people in it

instead of a scattered one jumping from puddle to puddle.

Spare me from modern life

in this body.

A place to belong

Let's join a intentional community

Let's drop out.

"I don't want a thousand brothers and sisters"

We should have done it when we were young.

These bills fly around me like white bats with

sharp teeth. Always threatening to chew me

into a paste, and tear my clothes into rags. 

Some of us don't believe in the system

because it never worked for us

The men behind the desks always said No.

and begging only makes it worse. 

The doors were shut long ago. We lived outside

the fence and could see what laid beyond it

We saw how the sausage was made. 

It changed us. 

My sister's husband makes 500,000 a year

she was a pride to the family

Celebrated and lauded

for the good fortune

of sitting on the right bar stool

married by 19.

In the East they believe in fate

Maybe because so many are poor

There was enough people to say

Maybe I didn't chose this

Maybe it just happened.

Wojack and pals as wage slaves

at least still had their health and

crypto to give hope, Doomer

knows the score of a collapsing

system and the fact the asylum

is on fire

We were so responsible

We tried

but it always fell apart.

Nothing genteel about poverty

and the edges it gives you

that the normal people find too sharp. 

There were so many I wanted to help

At the casino where I've never been, there's lots who lose and a few who win

and the ones who lose, you never hear about. They slink

back to their grey rooms at night, mourning their lost money

Bent over the computer, the dreams of another life

is all that keeps them going. 

"Go Back to Your Life!"

My doctor yesterday basically told me to give up all this Covid crap. I want to. I'm glad my husband was there to hear it. 

Yesterday I saw the doctor, I'm not doing that great fighting off Candidiasis yet again and my blood sugar is high though there is less food from the groceries being so high in cost. The horrible sores keep coming back and there is another appointment needed to deal with that. 

My house call doctor [NP]  is supportive of me seeing the functional doctor, he is serving as support while they keep my main case. The functional doctor told me he wanted me to stay with them. The functional doctor believes I have thyroiditis, and MCTD instead of UCTD. The rheumatologist believes it's still UCTD, but I don't know all the ins and outs. How bad is full lupus? My forehead is broken out in sores, there's other life damaging sores and fatigue that feels like it's going to kill me, but I still came out "stable" on my rheumatology tests. [not in full lupus]

 The doctors always tell me to walk and move around. I do think some fat bias could be with that stuff but then maybe they just mean well, and don't want me to become immobile. This practice deals with a lot of super-fat people along with elderly, many of them are completely bedbound and wheelchair bound. She thinks I am depressed [true] but the fatigue is beyond that.

More sunshine, movement and people definitely could not hurt. She told me, speaking of the masks: "You shouldn't have to wear those masks anymore" and said this directly, "Go back to your life!".

When a doctor [she's my regular NP] says "Go back to your life" it means something. Time to listen. She would know too if anyone was dying of or being hospitalized with Covid.  My second NP said it too a few months back in a different way.  She said my mental and physical health have been harmed.  I know it. My depression is off the charts. I'm sure it shows. The problem is I don't have a life anymore. 

I have 3 regional friends and no groups except a 30 mile away art club in a rural area I visit about once every 4-6 weeks and a writer's group on Zoom. Winter will lower even those. If this was a normal world instead of hell or purgatory, I would go on a trip or visit some people or go find some happiness, but I can't afford anything. An art friend is supposed to have an art show, and its 40 miles away and I'm wondering if I can afford the gas. I wish it was closer because like usual I'm scared, of breaking down or not having money to handle problems. I want to be there to support her. 

So there's not much of a life to go back to. I had a life before, it worked. Things aren't working now. Before all this I was really involved in that Unitarian Universalist church, it is sad how things went. It was a great place for me for years. I just chose to focus on the good things and they did give me the gift of gardening for a few years. Covid destroyed that world for me.  I'm planning to shut down my garden this week. 

 I had art classes, stamp group, and did other activities. Maybe I can get a life wherever I end up moving, I'm making sure any new places I go have some activities. If here I am looking for new things here too.  Hopefully the Senior Center will help my life since we qualify this winter. 

My life is a complete mess. I did have some good things happen with the art show, and am glad I achieved that goal and selling a lot of paintings. I even sold a painting to someone in Ireland last week. I also completed another book illustration project too with a local author. I have goals to put up an ETSY page, and to complete FAT PAT. Fat Pat is now almost done at over 200 pages and try to get some stuff together. You will soon see FAT PAT put up here. It is close!

So I have been TRYING. The functional doctor told me he believes my severe weight is the results of inflammation, and hormonal problems. [well Lipedema too] He also says while they can treat severe sleep apnea, that it can keep weight high even while one is treated and on their CPAP every night. He is helping me. I will see what happens. I wish I had money to get more supplements and better foods. Next week I hope to buy some he wants me to go on. The functional doctor told me he believe Covid was real, but he doesn't wear masks as they make him feel ill. All my other doctors gave up mask-wearing months ago.

Am I afraid in stripping off the masks? Yes I am. They damaged me. I'm scared because my oxygen started reading lower at 96% while wearing them instead of the usual 98% that I have had for years and years. It scares me. I think the doctor noticed too, and is growing concerned at the harms the Covid "lifestyle" did to me. I stopped wearing masks around friends around 3 months ago. 

We are stopping wearing the masks. I walked into my apartment hallway without the mask for the first time in 3 and half years yesterday after she said this. Am I afraid? Yes. They damaged me. The evil controllers of this world unloaded so much bullshit on billions of us. I am glad I did not take their genome invader and clot shot. That would have utterly destroyed me. I still am scared of catching something, but I know I will get sicker and die anyhow if I didn't change this. There's no going on like this. My mental health even forced removing the masks to see the friends. Physically I can't live life like this muzzled and with so few people in my life. So many connections have been destroyed. 

I had stopped wearing them around friends a few months ago, now stopping wearing them in apt hall and small stores. Maybe big stores too but I still feel nervous.

The masks did create a lot of physical suffering for me. I got short of breath in them often. I couldn't walk too fast. That's sad when I'm on a walker, and now being curtailed and suppressed. My doctor wanted me to start taking walks again, I should have told her, I can't walk that far anymore, but maybe she just wanted me to amble around like I used to do. I can maybe walk 200-300 feet without a rest, I'm not even sure it's that much now. I can walk through a Dollar Tree still with a couple rests but that's pretty crappy isn't it?

One reason the masks damaged me was walking sucked, even on my walker I would have to slow down constantly. This happened in stores and going to the doctor. I stopped walking because I live in a place where there's really no private place to walk without people, and was paranoid even outside for a while. Yes this is embarrassing but true. So I stopped taking my walks. Up to 18 months ago I was still following an exercise program, doing videos at home, but sadly the fatigue just grew so much worse and worse, all that energy just went into things like taking showers, cleaning, cooking and getting art projects done. 

Due to inactivity, I was scared to death of weight gain during lock downs. A 500lb person who used to be 700lbs could easily go back up, that is reality. I am glad I kept the weight stable at least, but this took effort. Hopefully the functional doctor will come up with more answers. He went deep into researching things. He even knew about abuse and PTSD issue that I faced.  I was 504 two days ago. The 400s are at least in shouting distance. It would be nice to sink below 500 again. I was 460 in 2013. I told him I am in shock, that I am maintaining such high weight. With age, my appetite has gone down. A lot of foods gross me out, I am still hungry every 5-6 hours but whatever takes weight off is not happening. Due to poverty, food portions were cut down months ago even further. My husband has complained a little about any seconds being denied because I want to make sure there's enough for another meal. 

The functional doctor was really worried about stress affecting me. It is. I'm not sure how I am going to go back to my life or how I am going to get a life now. It's hard. So much is in the air. My life was difficult before Covid. Then Covid took away the life I had managed to build. Some here may understand why that was so overwhelming to me. Many people have had their lives destroyed by these psychopaths. My shock remains in how few people have protested or fought back. My losses are more mild compared to people who lost their lives or loved ones. Some should go file lawsuits, I know about a few doing so on Twitter. The masses aren't sleeping, they are in a damn coma!

I waited things out this long due to my very high risk. I don't even know anyone who has been in the hospital for Covid for more than 2 years. I believe something made people sick in the early days there was too much evidence for that but things got dragged out. Even if Covid is real and endemic now, it's been almost 4 fucking years. I can't give up living my life anymore. There's only so many years left anyway in a body like this one. I want to have a life again.

Societal Narcissism: The Baby Boomer Will Die On Their High Horse

 

This is a scary video that Ollie covers. The "estranged parent" backlash is out there. I have to admit this woman gave me the willies. My mother was more the cold fish kind of narcissist instead of the 'fake caring enmeshment" kind but I got triggered watching this video because this woman reminded me so much of a now ex-narcissistic friend or combinations of narcissists I've dealt with. The same look in the eyes, the air of elevation and acting like they are perfect is all familiar.

It's true the "estranged parent" world is lashing back and we know we will never see true apologies but just excuses from these sorts. Notice how this woman shows off her wealth, my world is full of people like this and it's scary. Ollie's right about how she stages her video to show off her wealth and body clad in tight exercise gear.

Wouldn't doubt her Facebook is full of endless vacation photos.

 I hope the daughter remains no contact and is able to find a happy life. One can see the cuts made to the daughter in the video, with the appearance of "fake caring". This includes the endless double-talk and more. I can see why the daughter ran and went no contact. All of us ACONS dealt with people like this who think they are perfect. You can see it in this woman. The daughter never would have any real apology or working things out. She's better off if she stays gone. 

Food in 2050

 This video had me laughing. Hey it has a lot of fat people in it, and maybe they aren't portrayed too good, but remember I have written a blog saying they've fattened us up [the canaries in the coal mine] I avoid fast food. There is something to be said about those giant mega hamburgers.  All those super-sized foods didn't do anyone any favors.

Some food is so disgusting out there, and they pile it up still. There's this restaurant, maybe I better not name names, but it's an off brand kind of super-cheap fast food restaurant where they always show people eating endless fried foods. They always show them eating burgers they hold in a weird way in cars. That stuff isn't even real food. There's no way I will eat bugs, and the influx of bad vegan chemical foods is horrible. Soy gives me kidney stones now and it's in everything! People's health will be badly affected by these products. 

I do see food getting worse. You all can't imagine the lengths I have to go to, to get decent food around here. It feels like a science project. It's better to laugh at some of this stuff though. 

Living Inside a Social Credit System

 

This is what they have planned for us. Well see the video. My score would be -1 million. LOL

Life is Too Weird: Not Sure What to Do

 

Who knew that when Apocalypse came, you couldn't talk about it?

Can you imagine if I told the "normies" who believe in the system here, "I can tell our town is emptying out, people are dying or being disabled!" They would all call me crazy.

There's no one to talk to about anything going on. We noticed the Dollar Tree in town has been closed for four days in a row. We also have seen my pharmacy massively understaffed where the drive through window has been closed all week. The stores are empty. Is anyone else noticing? 

I see some cars around. These folks 10 miles south of us in a popular pizza parlor wrote they had to close due to lack of staffing and "they are too sick" to keep the business going. I don't know anyone who has had hospital level Covid in 2 years. It seems like people are dying off or entering into disability. 
How asleep do people have to be to not realize something is really wrong? 

 I've been going to a small rural town, for some art related activities. Life seems more normal there, the people smile, and have emotions. I get the feeling more of them didn't take the poison juice. My budget only permits going there so much. This town is poor and the houses old and falling apart, but the people still smile and talk to you normal. It's like a visit to normalville and the past of 2019. I'm happy for some moments. 

This town weirds me out though. I ran into two people from my old UU church [the one I left] I'm still finishing up my garden there. Sadly they still believe in everything they've been told. I tried to ask, "Well what is going on?"  One says she just follows the CDC. I was in shock but decided not to say anything. I like her but I thought "How can you trust the agency that failed us all so much?" 

I heard rumblings about some dinner that was held there, that Covid spread there. However these are the folks who believe in all, taking PCR tests probably for every cold and getting "false positives". Another friend, he's a frequent flier vaxxer, he still doesn't question anything. I wonder how he's still standing so many friends got sick from the vaxx.

I didn't need him telling me "Covid is still everywhere" when I am trying to return to more normal life.  I'm trying to take I and my husband into some normalcy and don't need the "fear" whipped up again. This friend seems to have this idea that I should be punished by forever isolation for refusing the clot shots. I told him I am returning to normal life slowly which seemed to shock him. I can't live like this anymore and my mental health is in the gutter. There's only so much time to work with.

 Life in the small rural town almost seems normal. My husband still wants me to wear masks in crowded public places. I've read and shared the studies that say they don't do anything. They are becoming harder for me to breath in, so I told him, we will wean off them slowly to allow for our probably damaged immune systems to recover in.  This is going slower then I thought but I was maskless at an outdoor festival and with several friends, and at the art group since we wanted to have some refreshments with them. He believes Covid is real. I think there was Covid and SARS in the early days of course but a lot doesn't make sense now. 

One of my doctors told me to go back to normal living and socializing. I have seen friends without masks. The conversations were different and better.  I have talked about moving with my husband to "reset" our life. Up to me, I would go to a small rural town and just live normal but my husband is afraid of us losing medical care and specialists I have here. It's a mess. My head spins trying to figure out WHERE to go and WHAT to do. Some of these small places, are far from medical care.  Everything is so creepy now here. I need to find some other people instead of the dying vaxxed who have no spark in them. 

They all seem to be dying here and in denial about it. A second guy in one organization is now seemingly going blind out of the blue. There's another lady there losing her eyesight and they are all vaxxed and in full denial not connecting the dots. I'm glad I left some of these vaxxed up groups even ones online where people talked about their seizures and weird cancers [one 30 something claimed she had pancreatic cancer] and still wouldn't "see" what was going on.

Now that my household has sunk into more severe poverty and I wonder if WWIII is on the horizon, I have fleeting thoughts about having died already and gone to hell. If my husband wasn't here I would wonder if I was in Purgatory or something. There's not much to look forward to. I think things well, there's still TV and computers and some fun stuff, enjoy it while you can. I enjoy times with my husband too. 

I have horrible visions of heating an old can of beans under an underpass. My years in the conspiracy world, we talked about what was coming and it all seems to be coming true.  I belong to Prepper groups on Facebook but never have money to make the preps I want to make.  The people who have families all seemed to cope with this better. I can't describe how depressing it is, to not know where to move, like I have no connection anywhere. Mostly everyone died or left my old town. I've burst into tears multiple times over having "wasted" my years on this place or even that church I just left. 

I tried to write this one online pastor to pray for me and some religious matters, but the guy just ignores me. So wonder I went down deconversion highway surrounded by war mongers. It's probably not a good sign. Counselors cost money. I am around mostly zombies, I can't talk to, who believe "in the system".  People have changed so much. Yesterday, I told a friend, I realize I am grieving some of these people who are still here because they don't even seem like the same people.

 So wonder I am so lonely here except when I leave to be around the small town people and few friends who live south of here. We smile and laugh and I can talk about things that are REAL. For some reason that doesn't happen in our immediate area. There's one farmer lady I buy food from on the edge of town, that is still a REAL person. LOL now I'm having thoughts about that book The Velveteen Rabbit.

 Our household always seems on the edge of collapse. This week, I went to a food pantry. Poor people food sucks. Trying to eat enough vegetarian meals is very hard too. I end up eating too much cheese and eggs. If you get too poor, people can shrink away. I always fear losing people when the bottom falls out. They are afraid you'll be there with your hand out. Friends have helped us but you worry about their sympathy running out. "What's wrong with you two, why can't you get it together??!"

Your clothes start looking more ratty. The Birkenstocks I bought during Trump money times and saved, I can't seem to break them in, they are too tight so I am even in very bad shoes. My glasses are taped together.  The trauma of poverty haunts me. The bills so huge, they are a yawning gap. I say to him, "Let's just leave when the lease is up, this isn't worth it". He doesn't agree. Says I'm too sick to live a more dialed down life, but then keeping this place going is too hard. Why do all this to live in a place where we are always stressed out and there's no one to talk to?  I made a joke, "Can we find a group home to take two old married people?" I don't think he liked that joke.

I was hoping to sell a painting this week for groceries but since it was a possible international sale, it cost too much to mail it over there. I understand why the buyer turned it down. Trying to sell items on Facebook Marketplace and ebay--husband does those listings seems to never work.

Up to me, I'd sell everything and leave. I understand why he's afraid to do it. The devil you know is better than devil you don't. He says, "Why do you want to move to rural small towns without any medical care, and look their downtowns are dead even on a Saturday!" Well yeah that's hard to argue with. Maybe I just want some people with light in them still to talk to. Yeah that's it. Maybe I am in "flight mode". Maybe I want rent that only cleans out half my check instead of 90% of it even if I have to live with 1970s paneling and radiators in the middle of nowhere. Maybe when society collapses, and the roving desperate hoards take over, I want to be in the boonies and in a place where most people own firearms and know how to live off the land. Maybe I want a country church instead of one with a fake pastor who just wants my money.  Maybe I don't feel safe around liberals who are all ready to put my unvaxxed ass on the boxcar to the camps if Biden calls out the automatic mandates for every person. Maybe I want to avoid fall-out and getting burnt up in a sudden flash if we have nuclear war. I don't know if they will nuke my town, it's small enough they may not, but then it's big enough where they could. Maybe I want to be in a place with a few more independent thinkers instead of those who believe everything they read on MSM and Huffington Post. 

Some of the people here are nice to me, and there's still somebody home, I notice in my writer's group, some of them still are "with us". I see them on Zoom. Their lives seem happier than mine. Maybe I ruined my life believing all the Covid crap. Germphobia destroyed my social life. Maybe I should not make decision to move until I am out and fully immersed in society again. I don't know. He thinks of more practicalities than me but seems less afraid to live on the edge. 

I wish there was extra money and more safety. What if all this collapses? I can keep the rent paid as long as the government is standing to give me a social security check. Of course that even seems dubious given war and troubles to come. A small rural place seems safer to me. Having community instead of blank faced people seems kind of important. I think of the days when there was far more people to talk to when I could talk to people about how things really were, like in the days of my old rural town. I see a few awake and aware but they are so small in number here. 

I guess if you have no family there's no home to go to. My mother destroyed my life ripping the tethers out of so many communities. Everyone else has a place. I ruined my life leaving that old small town. My husband says, "We had to leave, we had no money!"

"But we have no money here, and things haven't turned out have they?"

It's not healthy to try and backtrack so much. I remember the years I was looking forward to the future even here.

Everything seems to be a lie and mirage. He even applied to something like 40 jobs on Indeed.com. Only 1 place responded and he didn't get the job with the 1 interview.  I job hunt for him too, sent him even the link to do customer service for Amazon. He's too disabled to work at a regular retail place or a factory. Even a group home where you can sit down a bit at the table with the clients requires too much cleaning and movement for him. I was trying to come up with ideas. We always seemed to "try" and not sure why nothing pans out. I don't get it. I wrote a weird poem called "The Angry Dad Behind the Door" about God, and wondering why everything falls apart. 

We sat down and did the math figured out he is making equal to minimum wage now in our state already. [10 dollars an hour]. on his freelance. We would have been okay on this money just two years ago. We lived on this much before and had enough. By the way this is considered "too much" for a lot of subsidized places with our combined incomes. We could come up on one subsidized list and be told that's too much. He may "retire" in a couple years so don't know what will happen. I'm on one list and yes this means moving elsewhere too. He is my caretaker too and has a lot on this plate. He's older then me and I worry for him. He never gets a vacation. Maybe we both feel like one wrong move and it could all fall apart. This makes people reluctant to mess things up more.

Biden is the worse president ever. We had more money during Trump. I think all of them suck. I'm avoiding talking politics on my Facebook wall and in life except with close friends. I would piss everyone off.  This country's leaders just care about going to blow up the world, while our lives and infrastructure here fall apart. I don't think fondly of psychopaths that are committing genocide on the world. The majority of normal people I know can't bear even to admit this to themselves.

You don't want to dump problems, people could say to me, "Well you failed to solve them, we don't want to hear it anymore!". Sometimes I feel like I am acceptable in things I am good at, but I can't talk about what's real with anyone. How come I never know anyone going through what I am going through? I've become such a repressed person with age. I don't like it. I miss the me of my 30s, where I could talk about what was really going on, not being so afraid. I live in a society that denies me my personhood, my social life and my reality too. It takes a toll on a person. Something is wrong with this emptying out town too. You can feel it in the air. Everyone's quiet about it here too. 

More War

 

Well it looks like the warmongers are getting their way.  I warned about a "one world government" for years on my old religion blog. I do wonder if we are going to have WWIII soon. If we are on the biblical time line and Corona is the first "seal" well, all those with bible knowledge know how bad everything gets. The Plan for the New American Century always had Iran on the war list. It was included in General Wesley Clark's warnings about the planned wars.

All that stuff about hang gliders and unprotected people in one of the most armed up, security conscious nations in the world, never made sense to me. This occurred to others too:

 PSYOP-ISRAEL-WAR? - 2nd Smartest Guy in the World

If someone asks what side I'm on don't bother. There's blood on both sides. The Palestinian  people definitely are being oppressed: especially as one can see Netanyahu cheering blowing up of apartment buildings of civilians in Gaza and Israelis have suffered the effects of terrorism. 

I agree with those who say they stand with the innocent, ordinary people of Israel and Palestine. The war mongers are now going to mean more innocent people die. 

How are Americans who are being crushed supposed to finance another war? Sadly the evangelical world is all lining up for war yet again. One would think they would have learned their lesson during the Iraq and Afghanistan debacle, but I guess not. This disgusts me. I walked out of that second IFB church because the pastor there went on a rant about Israel and how we should go to war with Iran. His son who had been in Afghanistan got up and praised war and acted like combat was summer camp. I was so creeped out. I literally got up and walked out mid-service and never returned, and that was after a year in that church. 

 And because Biden's stumping for Israel, the liberal world is in support. You ever notice no one cares about nuclear war anymore or humanity annihilating itself? There's no anti-war movement anymore. Humanity is on a self-destructive path because of a bunch of psychopaths that run things in this world. Our leaders aka parasites, chose nothing but evil.

Who is Behind the Trans Agenda?

This is an interesting video that delves into the money interests behind the Trans Agenda. It all relates to them raking in the cash, destroying people's core identities and making people life long patients turning formerly healthy bodies into unhealthy ones. They really do not have the technology to change someone's sex. It is changes in appearances. Sadly suffering people are made false promises. There's tons of detransitioners out there warning how many physical problems they ended up with.  Notice the billionaire money being poured into Trans causes. Also check out this blog, that discusses trans issues.

I was on a "sex change" hormone for 15 years. In my case it was to block androgens from severe PCOS [HAIR-AN Syndrome]. I was forced off it in my very late 40s. It is the same drug they give male to female trans.  Of course they will give them estrogen too. 

They don't even warn the people who enter this world, that often one's body rejects hormonal treatments. I don't regret going on this drug, it was part of how I lost 250lbs that gave me more years of life and also had heart reasons to be on it too. However there were physical effects, even some kidney problems today could be related to having taken this drug. Involuntary testosterone harmed me so much, that I am in horror to see otherwise healthy people given it. There's a reason most have severe weight gain and other problems.