The False Shame of Fat Women Affects Lipedema

                                    a picture of my leg wrappings after I took them off.

I  recently got in trouble for "fat shaming" someone on a Lipedema health support board I won't mention the name of here.

Funny thing judging by this someone's wall on Facebook, they looked like they were a size 10-12 with no health problems and these were pictures over a series of YEARS.  Every other post on their very public wall, was an advertisement for the organization they did sales for, and I asked people several times to go look at these public photos but I guess no one did because they did not believe me. The diet they were bringing up was actually one sponsored by the organization they did sales for.

 I don't think I understand all the rules of political correctness. I thought they were a sales-person coming on a health support board and warned people. Aspie honesty got me  hated by some in a group of neurotypicals.  Later I was banned. Well I was made out to be the "bad" person, even though this new poster included "selling a diet" that had Beach Bodies in the name, and I thought some people believed the same way I did about diets, espousing basic size acceptance principles but I guess not. I was the "meanie" for trying to warn of someone I thought was an imposter. They called me a "fat-shamer".

It's weird to be 500lbs and told I am a "fat-shamer" for someone far smaller and functional then me. Can someone explain that one to me? The liberal world bugs me too just as much as the conservative world and all their "go die in the ditch", "pick a job off a tree" Tea Partiers. The speech controls and endless impossible rules are too much.

Yes I'm a big meanie. The Lipedema world has gotten to be a tough one or me. Some still believe in diets and the fantasy of weight loss. It's weird since all the medical literature rightly says this is not weight that can NOT be taken off by dieting. If anything dieting messes up Lipedema more and sinks your metabolism. Many severe Lippys like me have nutritional deficients. Dieting is a joke to me. I got doctors to finally believe me and got diagnosed. Yesterday I had eggs for breakfast, sandwich, and some broccoli slaw for lunch, and rice and chicken with broccoli for dinner. I am not eating that bad. My blood sugar was 122 this morning. So to be told, that I can fix my body with the "perfect diet" is a dream. Yes I have to watch WHAT I eat, but the dream world of  having a body that functions like everyone else died long ago for me. Thinking a diet will fix this is the definition of insanity.

My own body is full of Lipomas and fluid. I see constant weight changes now dependent on how active I've been and how much I've peed off and every night shrink a bit from Flexitouch treatments.  The hormonal crap foisted on me by Lipedema has affected my life far more. In fact I believe much of the research for Lipedema is being ruined because the focus is on weight loss, diets and liposuctions and not the internal health, and endocrine realities of this disease. Because it is a WOMAN'S disease primarily all it seems is cared about is LOOKS, LOOKS, LOOKS. 

Google Plastic Surgery and Lipedema, or Lipedema and Beauty and you will get a look-see at what I am talking about.

Even the liposuction stuff seems unproven to me. What's going to keep the fat in the legs from coming back? The plastic surgeons are setting up for a new market, and on Lipedema boards for early stage women, one can see the model thin, on there who seem to care most about having sculpted legs showing up who complain of having Lipedema and it makes one wonder. Their reality bears no resemblance to my own hell of Lipo-Lymphedema. I believe that the "worried well" market is the focus in the Lipedema world, where the plastic surgeons are diagnosing otherwise thin and healthy woman with Lipedema to do leg sculpting. There are some who seek out the liposuction who are higher stage and who do truly have the condition and some sincere doctors like one in Germany who see it as a break-through but I remain concerned about how so many of the  main treatments for Lipedema all focus on the removal of fat and "being made thin" instead of the root endocrine and lymphatic causes.

In my case,  I renounced the beauty prison and yes this has been mentioned on this blog but the "beauty prison" seems to be running a lot of the Lipedema world. In a disease that has hurt me, brought me endless pain and destroyed my life on a multiple levels including almost dying of sepsis [leg infections that poisoned my blood] how do you think I feel about this development that the main focus for Lipedemics is to be BEAUTY and LOOKS and doing away with the FAT, and becoming THIN?

I have to admit I was disappointed by the people touting size acceptance beliefs contradicting themselves allowing the discussion of another failed diet to be sold to wealthier women who can afford trips to a giant theme park. It was unjust and unfair for "Beach Bodies" to be advanced among many women who have weighed 400lbs-700lbs from a disease we had no control over. Haven't we suffered enough? This was a contradiction to the max. It felt like a middle finger in my face. Of course I was the one being "too sensitive" for refusing the mainstream cultural mandates.

 I believe one neglected avenue of Lipedema is the psychological and emotional. We are being hurt, by the constant diet talk and the non-answers being sold us. We are told that the shape of our body is the thing most wrong with us and that must be corrected no matter what. While there are good medical professionals dealing with the lymphatic system and MLDs and others out there to help us, the beauty imperatives and prejudice against fat is influencing treatment of a disease in a very negative fashion. Many Lipedema women are reporting that some doctors are pushing weight loss surgery and weight loss as the first thing they "must do" instead of dealing with their failed lymphatic systems. There is a weird focus on "non Lipedema fat". How do they know what's fluid or fat or not?

We are shamed for our bodies constantly and some eat the shame, still acting like it is their fault, and they must all conform to societies impossible demands and still "live in the dream" of thinness one day being theirs. I suppose this is why I got banned from the health board. I am too radical for them and a "trouble-maker" because I got a big mouth and I have written against the diet industrial complex for 5 years on this blog. I have pissed off the size acceptance side out there by exposing their "normalization of obesity" and  health "denials" about severe obesity and I have pissed off others by calling out the "diet industry" as completely harmful to our health. My life values are in opposition to those who want perfect clone bodies among humanity, and who sell conformist "beauty" as the highest ideal above all.

 I threatened the "dream" and even some of the denizens of size acceptance will show their true colors when pressed. They don't want to give the "thin dreams" up and no matter their size support the cultural imperatives, that put thinness and the status of the thin above real treatment and research for a severe medical condition. Maybe if they got to the root of the problem, there'd be far less people struggling with severe obesity.

It reminded me of the Lipedema spokes person who got honored by a top obesity organization with several weight loss surgeons on the board that I wrote about before without naming names.

All the focus is still on the fat and the looks of a body and the SYMPTOMS of a disease instead of the inherent disease process within. Cultural mandates of shame among the fat, affecting treatment of Lipedema. The diet industry is a negative influence on Lipedema and Lipedema treatment. I stand by this belief whether they like it or not.

Does Fat Mean Being Stared At?

Overweight woman photographs strangers staring at her

An obese woman has captured the cruel looks and stares she attracts in public by photographing herself in different social settings. Haley Morris-Cafiero, 37, an artist from Memphis, Tennessee, is seen sitting in restaurants, out shopping and strolling around bustling tourist attractions such as Times Square while curious passers-by are captured in the background. 

Talking about the revealing collection of images she writes on her website: 'I have always been aware of people making faces, commenting and laughing at me about my size.' She admits that her weight has been a constant battle and growing up she often felt 'left out and awkward'. Instead of talking about her body she refers to 'my uncontrollable exterior'. 

On the subject of her eating habits she told MailOnline: 'My biggest temptation has to be donuts. They contain all of the caloric evils in one round, portable container: fried, bread and sugar,' Explaining what inspired her picture series titled Wait Watchers, she said: 'I decided to photograph myself sitting alone on the Times Square stairs to capture my solitude in a busy crowd.

I'm not so sure about this. What if the people were looking at her getting her picture taken? Was the camera even hidden? If it wasn't you are not going to get a fair look, people are going to wonder why the camera is there? In my area of the country, she is not that fat, she is not exceptional, she would blur into the background mostly. Even in the picture above, the woman in the plaid coat is near her size.

She does seem kind of awkward, that alone can attract people's attention. Don't take this wrong, I think fat people have the right to dress badly as everyone else and be left in peace, but I found myself thinking, if I was that size and with the wide variety of clothes in size 18-20, the size I am guessing she wears, I'd be dressed a whole lot better. Clothing comes near and dear for us super-sized folks. She seems to dress "young" for her age. Hope folks don't get upset with me for saying that, maybe I have this personal bugaboo about fat women who dress so down almost reinforcing the role they are expected to play. Rebel a bit, and allow yourself some style.

That may be more about "me", but I found myself thinking and feeling guilty about it, "Why are you dressed so badly, why are you wearing red shoes with the primary colors blue and green!- Fashion alert!" Remember I am poor myself and probably break endless fashion rules, but that one bugged me. She dresses like she is still a teen. Clinton and Stacy could have a field day on "What Not To Wear". I wish she would buy herself a pretty dress and a nice necklace to wear or even something that she is COMFORTABLE in wearing.

Anyhow, one other thing I thought, is "YOU ARE BARELY FAT!" Ok, she isn't svelte, but I could go to the local Wal-mart and find 10 people who outweigh her by at least 150lbs within 20 minutes. Does she expect people to stare being that weight? Isn't this setting one's self up as a victim? And how is someone like myself to feel who is 500lbs who this woman would be functional and "thin" in comparison to?

People stared at me. When I was near 700lbs, I lived in a big city, and well they looked, I was so unique, it was like the circus came to town as I bumbled down the sidewalk at a huge weight. I had to learn to get used to it, and had the attitude "Give them something to look at!" I know today if I am "new" somewhere, I can get the CURIOSITY looks and yes I even get the RUDE looks, every supersized fat person knows. Today I weigh less, but I am still hugely fat and I am tromping around with a hearing aid, a leg double the size of the other and either a cane or a walker. When I go without the walker, I trumble around from side to side with the cane, because my balance is gone so I do not have a normal gait. One thing being an artist myself, my dress style is different, and well I do stand out, and do not wear what people consider "average fashion", think "hippie art teacher" in long dresses. I dress for myself. Yes I sure do, I wear what is comfortable to me and what I LIKE.

She is young, well 7 years younger then me, one thing when you grow old enough, there is less gawking. There is a lot of older and fatter people out there. Past a certain age, it just doesn't matter. Once you enter "grandma" territory, even if you are childless, there does seem to be less judgment out there based on your looks. That said however why walk around in pain from people judging your looks?

My balding head, skin sores, and almost 700lb body was a trial by fire, that allowed me to bust open the locks on the beauty prison and escape for good. I wonder if I walk around now imparting the viewpoint it doesn't matter. Look all you want if you want. Some may say, hey you've left your mug off your own blog for over three years. I posted one picture of my body on here. But isn't that the point? Why should EVERYTHING be about our looks? I want my looks to take backseat to what I have to say. Now what would I say to this lady if I ever met her?  I would say, "you are healthy, you are only mildly overweight, you have a good career as an art professor, life's not that bad!"

Maybe life for me has been easier having spent my life living in two smaller towns, the last one quite small and this one just a bit larger. If a place is small enough, you do ebb into the background with time, everyone's seen you so you are no longer a "shock" or a "curiosity".

I went around my last town and this one, not really even thinking about anyone looking at me. The last time anyone made fun of me overtly, was two times in the last five years. I had this woman at the library give me this horrified look of disgust who turned giggling to her friend next to her, and this woman at a health class for the elderly and disabled say mean things to me for being fat. So it's going to happen. What do you do? Try and stand up for yourself and move to the nice people. There is always going to be someone who doesn't like someone for the way they look or even are.

I just don't buy this idea that a size 18 woman in American society is being stared at for being fat when the AVERAGE American woman is only 3 sizes off.  Take pictures of me walking around, let's see what happens, people in small towns smile at each other. I'd like to catch pictures of people SMILING at me. Am I crazy? The auto shop man smiled at me, the waitress did, the people at book club, when I last got out and around.

Could I make an art show of that? Look I know fat discrimination exists but looks aren't everything. Be someone beyond your looks. Does anyone understand what I mean here? Those other people in the crowd even if they are not fat they have troubles too.

An Elephant in the Room?

Many of us fat people will relate to this cartoon...it was done by a blogger calling herself "fat chick on stage"

The feelings of insecurity were worse for me when young, I've been superfat so many years. For me, the only option was to adapt. I have my times of feeling like the "giant" among "regular people". One thing pertaining to the blogger, I openly call myself FAT out in public. Once you stop hiding or trying to deny reality life is far easier.

Chapter #2 There's an Elephant in the Room

The Size Acceptance Ideologue's List of Rules

I know some here probably think I give size acceptance too hard of a time. I do not regret what I have written. I wish it had truly been a movement and gathering place for obese people for support and help, in my opinion if it had truly been a movement for the fat, instead of just using the fat to advance social programming agendas, all tied to the liberal side of the right/left paradigms [ever wonder why just about every size activist is an extreme liberal?], there would be real research to help obese people, and demands against all the garbage that isn't working. As I have said size acceptance has become the enabler to the abusive fat hating society. The more they tell us fat people are responsible and at fault, for their own conditions and are fat due to failed diets, will power and more, the more size acceptance in their praise and promotion of life altering adipose tissue serves more as the enablers to all the lies. Where does that get anyone? Choose your side....[well I said forget it!] Between the weight loss gurus, who offer nothing that really works, to the sociopath agitators like the Bigger Fatter Blog guy who posts nasty pictures to the extreme hyper fat activists, fat people do not have much to go on anymore. Well I'm sick of all their lies!

Here is a list of the size acceptance rules out there. Yes I know there are some exceptions, and admit speaking in generalities. Having broken many of these, I have found myself banned at many a size acceptance website. Even trying to get traffic up here, is difficult, because with the exception of a few blogs, censorship is heavy in the size acceptance world. This blog gets removed fast!

1.Never admit any pain when it comes to obesity.

Hey we know this is NOT this is not allowed. As I have shared on this blog, I am even having comments ERASED off size acceptance blogs. Sharing nitty gritty "hard" stuff about being fat especially among mid-sized and healthy brethern is not permitted. When it comes to the ultra-fat, nursing homes, loss of mobility and other problems are to be rapidly hidden behind closed doors.

2. You must love your fat no matter what it does to you. You must tell the world celebrate fat.

Obviously I am failing at that one. I won't tell any of you celebrate fat and by the way, I hate the diets and all the nonsense too, but telling people to love their fat is like telling an amputee victim to love their stump or a deaf person to love their non-working ears. To me, its a cop out, running from the diet mongers does not translate to lying to the world and saying being over 500lbs is great! Staying alive to me comes before groveling for anyone's acceptance.

3. You must be an extreme liberal. [hey I have noticed that there doesn't seem to be many Fox news watchers and people against Obama in the size acceptance camp. By the way I can't stand Fox news and am not a Republican either myself. There are also "progressives" who are more independent minded, of course. Why are size acceptance circles overall far more liberal and the kind of liberals who still love Obama even though he has continued all of Bush's wars and policies? I think this probably is because those against size discrimination and want to codify it, still believe the government can end size discrimination via "rule of law". I find that rather dubious, your boss may know if he calls you "fatty" at work, in certain areas you probably can sue him, but if you apply for a job, and aren't hired because you are fat, try proving it! More government power and intervention with fat people means fat camps one day, and having your BMI tracked, so wake up people!

4. You must defend everything fat related, even the woman that wants to be the fattest woman in the world and yes I have seen that done on a variety of size acceptance blogs.

5. Do not question the status quo. No one in size acceptance is questioning the inner reasons why people are growing fatter and why the obesity epidemic is out of control refusing to see the profit that is attached. Things like GMO and adulterated food remain off the radar as well as the pool of toxins we are all swimming in. Very few are questioning the corporate and other interests that are forwarding the obesity epidemic.

6. BODIES come before mind, souls, etc. I have noticed this in size acceptance for years, it is a growing trend in this world, as a whole, a shallowness, a denial of character where the fat activists become just as looks obsessed as their thin sisters. Otherwise why are the academics promoting nonsense such as "fat identity"? My whole life has been trying to get the morally deficient to see beyond the fat.

See: "Thought Crime and Size Acceptance, Ideologues and The Big Brush-Off"

What is Fat Studies?

I took the women studies class in college an eon ago, and realize it was more a brainwashing indoctrination session, to love hyper-feminism, and to "worship" the "goddess". My professor there was hard core. Shout that you were against the patriarchy, and ready to go back in time, to burn a few bras and your "A" was almost guaranteed.

Now we have "fat studies".

Should I write a paper? I doubt academia would give me much of an ear. That is it's own world, if you divert from the "rules" in the size acceptance world, refusing to celebrate fat, and desiring a real cure--not the nonsense they are shoveling--any free thinkers need not reply. Even here, how could I write a paper of "fat ACCEPTANCE", I do not accept my fat, my fat is equal to my almost deaf ears, annoying but to be celebrated? Forget it. Some of the language here gets kind of odd.

Fat Studies reminds us that all bodies are inscribed with the fears and hopes of the particular culture they reside in, and these emotions often are mislabeled as objective “facts” of health and biology. More importantly, perhaps, Fat Studies insists on the recognition that fat identity can be as fundamental and world-shaping as other identity constructs analyzed within the academy and represented in media

.

What about the hope to stay alive? This seems a lot to ask Mr. Adipose cell...I suppose Mr. Adipose does not realize the trouble he has caused.


What's wrong with using the words overweight or obesity? They want those only used in "ironic" fashion.

Marilyn Wann's Yay Scale

What world does this fat activist live in?

I discovered her YAY! scale...[see here too]

LOL it's too small for me....oops guess Marilyn Wann forgot about the over 280-300lb crowd who would crush a small drugstore scale like that under their feet. I tried two, one for each foot, to weight myself, and succeeded in breaking both of them.

YAY! I just broke the scale. LOL!

I found out about this here....

I also showed him how passersby of all sizes on Haight Street react with relieved delight to my invention, the Yay! Scale. It's merely a bathroom scale with compliments instead of numbers on the dial. Step on it to find out you're "sexy" or "gorgeous" or "perfect" or "fine." He urged me to find fat people to Yay! themselves. The next fat woman who happened by not only failed to feel downtrodden, she had read my book.

Anyone here remember "Up With People!"? I know I'm dating myself here, ah they were a good group in some ways....kept everyone happy and singing during the oil embargoes. I guess Marilyn Wann seems to be a one woman "up with fat people" [well smaller fat people] show. Reminds me of back in 1989, when I watched Michael Moore running around on "Roger and Me", filming all the "be positive" parades and Auto World as Flint crashed into the economic void. Michael Moore instead of being another sell-out, still seemed to care at least back then. I know Marilyn Wann doesn't do serious except on rare occasion, that may be a bummer on the self obsessive, self esteem fat praise-a-thon...but a YAY scale, LOL, I think the over-fat promotion "jumped the shark" long ago.

"Out of Touch Marilyn Wann: Let's Have a Parade!"

"Thought Crime and Size Acceptance, Ideologues and The Big Brush-Off"

Seriously folks, I liked Marilyn Wann when I first came across her book which was a zine years ago. It's too bad she has gone this route, I wish there could be honesty, instead of the usual show-boat stuff. There is a place for frivolity and fun, but it's like she is committed to emphasizing the fluff. They have proven the "self-esteem" movement has failed on the kids, on adults especially fat adults it just gets insulting, wearisome and speaks of over-compensation. To me this stuff is empty. How else can I put it?

"Why We Need Size Acceptance" [Violence on The Fat]

"Why We Need Size Acceptance"

Hey, I do not disagree with EVERYTHING having to do with size acceptance. While I have some giant beefs about the movement, standing up against abuse of fat people is a GOOD thing.

I think if fat people weren't so hated, and we weren't being used as a vehicle to be profited from or to be exploited, there would be SOME REAL HELP and change out there, but she is on to something with this one:

We are all participants, willing or no, in a culture that promotes and glorifies this kind of violence against ourselves, and which revels in that violence’s effects. Even the language we use in discussing our body fat is steeped in violence; our fat parts are to be burned, blasted, destroyed, dissolved, eliminated, eradicated, or otherwise abolished. Let’s think for a moment about the broader effects of regarding our bodies—even an aspect of our bodies—with such language and imagery. This thinking divorces us from ourselves, and from the wonderful mechanism which enables us to experience the world. It creates a divide where none should exist. It turns our bodies into enemies, or antagonists, or discrete objects to be controlled and restrained. It denies us healthful connections between the thoughts in our heads, our interactions with the world around us, and the physical form that enables us to connect and communicate. It does us harm.

Sometimes I think about all the 'answers' they give to the fat, and it always incorporates pain and suffering. Nothing about wellness, joy and happiness. I don't have to go smack myself around for having thyroid disease or have some crazed trainer scream at me like the TV show "Heavy" but supposedly for being fat, I should be groveling on the ground, and prepared to suffer.....

Would some of you be offended if I told you that sometimes I wonder in my mind if weight loss surgery is more about torture?

Let me talk this one out, the other day, I was reading a book about "footbinding" in young Chinese girls, as I sat there getting grossed out as the fictional author Lisa See, described the breaking of foot bones and the rest to give Chinese women of some hundreds of years ago [footbinding lasted 1000 years], teeny feet, I thought what else is weight loss surgery, but more pain and "suffering" to get a "good" look, and most of the time it doesn't even work, even in this book, they admit 1 out of 10 girls died from footbinding and infections, gangrene and the rest plagued the rest. So human beings have done really screwed up things with their bodies for centuries.

So when they tell you to go under the knife and tell you, hey we will shrink your stomach down and make you "thin", they couldn't have thought of a worse way of torture. Trust me as a person with severe digestive problems where I projectile vomit for literally 18 hours with severe bowel pain [dry-heaves are no fun] if I accidentally eat some MSG or some high fat item [it took me 6 months to figure things out], one does not want to go to the land of digestive organs that do not work.

I think about the VIOLENCE of that....

and how fat people are so hated....

and how no one wants us to get any REAL HELP, because we are considered NOTHING to them.

I still am NOT going to LOVE fat [because of what it has done to me], but I know when things are seriously screwed up, and looking at a society that is so messed up in so many ways. All the "wars" on obesity, are about violence, instead of actual HELP and HEALING.

From Big Fat Delicious: Some Thoughts on Fat Identity

I found this blog entry interesting...

"Some Thoughts on Fat Identity"

In it she talks about girls who are thin, who are critiqued over their weight and memories about being younger and really not that big and told how she is fat over and over.

Now, before y'all start flaming me - understand where I'm coming from as a DEATHFATZ woman who, when I look back at pictures of me as a kid/teenager, wasn't really fat back then but sure as hell thought I was because that's all I heard. Sure, I never wore single digit sizes in my life (well, maybe as a baby and a toddler), and I don't remember ever wearing a size that wasn't classified as "Chubby" in girls' sizes or ever getting to wear any of the clothes like my peers wore when I was teen (I had to shop in the womens' sections of the stores to find anything over size 14/16 to fit me). But I wasn't fat like I'm fat now

I think about the times I was younger, and remember being 12-13 years old wearing size 12, and ironically remember being told how fat I was. At that age, I sunk to the level where some of the teasing stopped, but it was short lived, a summer where my parents had bought a pool membership, probably brought me more exercise, and the 100lb weight gain that would come in high school and from the blossoming of PCOS, would still be acouple years in the future and would begin after the trauma of a move on my 13th birthday. [Remember the 12 plus years I speak of where I was in the mid 200s before my massive fast weight gain that drove my weight to nearly 700lbs?]

There is one moment that stands out in my mind, where the brown size 12/13 pants suit with vest I wore on New Years Eve no longer fits 6 months later and my mother is very angry at me, at the time, I felt devestated and like I was being blamed for something beyond my control. Later I would wonder why didn't anyone take me to a doctor since my weight would skyrocket so fast especially between 1983 [the summer I went out West with my family and 1984?]

My life where my average weight was around 240-250, with a few 30lb up and downs for many years is ironic now, as I remember the job discrimination, losing jobs-over my bad lungs where the doctors gave me prednisone would put back on weight I lost and then later more, the health problems and it seemed the unyielding unending abuse just for being bigger [remember I was 5'11] then the average person.

I think how did all of this affect me in the long haul? It seems they just want to bombard fat people further, rather then come up with any real answers of making lives more happy and healthy? Consider I was later diagnosed with at least one endocrine condition related to stress and high levels of cortisol, what did all this do for me but hurt my health worse?

How many people especially women live under a rain cloud of despair for an extra 20,30, 50 plus pounds? What does this do for their health in the long run? Maybe they are ensuring more fatter and sicker people down the road! I think so.

She goes on to talk about the expected perfection and more things they pressure people to fulfil, mostly to make money.

I think more and more our society has lost its mind. The feelings are very poignant when I look back at the pictures of myself at age 12-13, and see a very pretty girl who may have a little plumpness to her but who otherwise was very good looking.

From another blog: "Swept Under the Rug of Size Acceptance"

Here is an article from the FatPinkMonkey blog, "Swept Under The Rug of Size Acceptance". She addresses many of the issues I had previously with HAES, which now I am discussing different issues, per this article. One thing right now I am discussing some of these issues with a leader in HAES who I am having a very good discussion with but it continues my theme, that what applies to more moderately fat and functional people may not apply to the super sized. She does point out something I experienced in size acceptance, the fact that when you get "too big" you are seen as NOT belonging. I heard the but "there is a limit" line too.

Feeding into the isolation I felt in such a large body were the comments of "oh, yeah I like big girls, but there IS a limit", "We don't want to hear about the problems of fat people not being able to wipe their a**" ect. It's actually very common! Fat people hate fatter people. If you have ever seen a fat person and thought to yourself, or actually asked someone else, "I'm not THAT fat, am I?" Then you are guilty of this.

One thing I never have talked about on this blog, is that in the world, the people I fear the most ire and judgement from isn't always the thin but the midsized, who sometimes will run from the super sized and ostracize them, fearing that one day they could be us. She is right there are those fat people who do hate fatter people. This isn't everyone of course, but it is really a problem out there.

I have my own beliefs about weight loss surgery, but totally understand why people make this decision, being super sized is very difficult. You become more immobile, you lose semblance of a normal life, people are going to grab on to any rope that has the possibility to save them.

The Locked Down World of Size Acceptance

SOne thing that is bugging me lately, trying to get this blog out there, the fat acceptance blogs and websites are locked down tighter then a drum. I have never seen so many censored websites in my life, where every blog demands automatic moderation before any posts appear or where membership must be approved on every message board. Freedom of speech doesn't seem to be a very loved concept in size acceptance.

When one has a blog, you do want readers and you have to get your link out there to get them. So far its been very tough, I've never seen anything like this. Some just general obesity websites have been okay, the politically correct police haven't barred the door from my entrance but all the size acceptance/fat positive etc, websites, its been near impossible.

There is one big fat blog where I applied for membership and at least to enter into discussion with the folks there, and got no response. Well I left the size acceptance movement to begin with, because they did everything they could to silence my voice, and my experience. Because I talk about realities of being super-obese, they do not want the "fat positive" bubble popped by anyone. I doubt that once pink haired size activist ever took my advice, when I told her to go visit a bariatric nursing home to see what obesity could do to people. There is no intregrity in trying to control people or silence the voices of the ultra-super sized.

Sometimes I feel like the Size Acceptance world works like a closed down gulag, of ideologues, who can't stand to ever examine anything. I'm against fat people being treated like garbage, and have managed to grab on to many of the good things life has to offer even being so severely obese but that doesn't matter. Unless you think exactly like them, they do not even want to listen. The Super-sized are already rendered invisible in a lot of places in society, it stinks, when the people who are portending to represent fat people's needs, lock you out as well.