Monday, June 11, 2018

Natural Causes By Barbara Ehrenreich






"Like workout culture, wellness is a form of conspicuous consumption. It is only the wealthy who have the resources to maintain the illusion of an integral and bounded self, capable of responsible self-care and thus worthy of social status. The same logic says that those who smoke (read: poor), or don’t eat right (poor again), or don’t exercise enough (also poor) have personally failed and somehow deserve their health problems and low life expectancy."

 Natural Causes sounds like a great book, and one that definitely talks about an issue I am coping with in my life. Along with ACON matters, how much shame, blame and judgment have I gotten from being in this body? It looks like her book challenges the assumptions about health, that we all have total control over our bodies and it's outcomes. Sadly many are brainwashed into thinking everyone has chosen the state of their bodies.  This is used as oppression on fat people because too many believe if we all ate right and exercised that we would be thin, just like the trolls I wrote about. 

Just like the prosperity gospel has taken over evangelical religion, we have a health "word of faith" gospel that teaches people, do everything the "right way" and your health will be perfect and you will live to be very old. Well it doesn't work that way. I knew people far healthier then me, who dropped dead of a wide range of unprepared diseases, circumstances or accidents. We now have class oppression delivered on a health platter, where some of us feel that inside dread that we can't afford certain things we know would improve our health. For some of us, the day to day workings of being income challenged have increased our stress, cortisol and limited all the "mindfulness" moments.

Just like fat people are told their very weights are all in their control and their pounds will all magically melt off because we all supposedly choose to be overweight, and are just "too lazy" to know "how easy it is", others are served magical thinking too via the new health "gospel".
People with cancer are told to visualize battling cancer cells with little imaginary lasers, people in pain now are told they can manage their pain, and that "it's all in their heads" and they don't need painkillers because the drug war comes first. Reality is suspended. 

Some seem to treat life like a race, where whoever lives the longest "wins", and that's kind of sick in it's own way because what enjoyment are they getting out of it all along the way?

Charlie Brown Vs.The Wall

What I have Been Up to Lately

I'm still living oddly, I will go and do some stuff and then collapse into bed. It's a strange way to live life. My intent is to try and get more done and balance things out but the health is a constant battle. There was one evening I just wanted to lay in bed and not get up and do all these medical things, I have to be cautious of that. The rheumatologist never returned my calls, maybe one option is having the doctor do the tests the specialist would have done. The bloating and pain from Lipedema can be maddening, one day when I was out and about a little bit, I was limping and hanging over my walker, but you know, "I WANT TO HAVE A LIFE" even if it occurs in only small segments. This week was a non-housebound week, so decided to do stuff in between collapsing in my ever used bed.

1. I went to a Fan-Comic Con. They had cosplay dressers, comics, a theatrical battle team and a lot more. They advertised some anime conference in a town about an hour from here. Wish I had money for that kind of travel but that's a small hobby, I like to read anime, with the graphic novels. Japanese culture fascinates me. There were some one dollar Archie comics to be bought too. My husband enjoyed it a lot too.

2. Sewing may begin more in earnest beyond simple clothing repairs.  I finally had collected some material. Some nice friends donated me some, and some are great patterns. Sewing is new to me, I sewed a stuffed moose in home ec, and some quilt squares at one church years ago. The reality is I need clothes bad, and am going to be naked without any. The plan is to start with some simple jumper dresses. Hopefully there will be something wearable at the end of my ventures.

3. I did a lecture at UU fellowship, this church is far more interactive. One odd hobby I've had for years is studying everything that has to do with religion, it was my informal "major" even in college. I'd go to my art ed classes and then read books on religion during rare free moments. So when I was asked to lecture on the transcendental movement as one of the readers/lecturers, I did so. It turned out well. One thing I talked about is how we have lost the intuition, independence and exploration/value of nature and independent spirits pertaining to this. It was a good experience. Public speaking is not easy for Aspies, I can do it from some of the past teaching experience. For me the motivator is the intellectual pursuit behind it.

4. We are still going to the gym. No weight loss miracles yet, but I think it is increasing stamina. I am worried how I do not lose weight, but only can do what I can. I think its a good sign when you can increase weights a little bit too, even though that is slow going. I do hope one day maybe we can join the far closer gym, but it costs a lot more. We are averaging twice a week visits. It should probably be more but with his work, we are doing our best. I may see how taking the bus works to get over there.

The exercise has an odd effect on me like brain feels clearer at the end on some days but then I have to make sure to eat before I go too on the other end because exercise affects my blood sugars. I sweat all over the place which is kind of gross. I hope I can get on more machines.

Homeless Man is Working Full Time While Living in Homeless Shelter



I have known a lot of homeless people, most worked. That's a secret no one will tell you. Think about it this way, most of us who CAN'T WORK, get disability. Disability is low money but keeps you usually from the homeless shelter except maybe in early days when you are applying. So most people at homeless shelter either got laid off, in between jobs or are presently working. I knew people living in cars who had jobs, and no homes. I would offer a place to some past homeless friends but many knew how sick I was and probably figured my resources [correctly] were low. Most people on welfare have jobs too, but people listen to stereotypes about all the "lazy bums".

Why Don't Some People Believe Lipedema is a Real Disease?

 Troll online: "You're making it sound like you have some unfortunate disease. You made yourself morbidly obese. I can't find much sympathy to give here..."

I have faced this online and not in life. In life, I think they can tell something is "different" with me. Oh how do I explain this, my body is shaped like the MICHELIN MAN though bigger on the bottom and one leg is twice the size of the other already swollen leg, so most people BELIEVE me who see me who I have told, that something else is different and wrong.

I have attempted to go semi-Keto, and bought a tons of vegetables last week. I can't do a full Keto diet but need to cut more carbs. Today probably ate too many carbs, but most days this week I did better, got diabetes a bit under control again, 130s and 140s, instead of horrible sugars I had around time of the ear infection. We are still going to the gym, I'll be there tomorrow. We are making it over there twice a week, but maybe I should go on the bus if I can pull it off to get over there more. Last week, I made cabbage soup twice, cooked cauliflower, plated salads with cut up vegetables and meat, chicken stir frys with a multitude of vegetables and other dishes. I've had to cut down red meat, it's just making me feel like crud.

Online I have noticed when telling people about Lipedema, because it is a rare fat disease some people have been complete assholes. They have said things to me like you are so fat, you are five hundred pounds, you are crazy to blame it on Lipedema. What the hell do they know?  Our society is so fat phobic, that even if you are found to have a severe rare medical disorder in its most advanced form, you don't get a break. The same thing used to happen when I talked about having PCOS and endocrine problems, so why should I expect anything different.

Maybe these are just trolls online, they seem to populate money advice and economic boards. One I went to on reddit seemed to have some regular poorer people seeking advice and then you had the smug trolls.  I like to write and talk about economics, but because I am disabled and fat and seen as the Lowly of the low, some really go to town.

 I am not going to post in some places where I used a certain user name and my weight is evident, I kind of erred there. Same as fat people are silenced and told their issues and medical conditions aren't real, I noticed the trolls do that with the financial and economic end of things. It's weird when people tell me the economy is doing great. All I got to do is drive three or four miles and I see the closed buildings and rotting store fronts. The inner city looks worse and worse, and out in the country looks bad too. So strange like they are not in reality but then when it comes to obesity and related matters most don't want to deal with reality they just believe everything they are told.

Sometimes I wonder if multiple message boards are astroturfed where people make sure to "manage" them to keep the status quo. They don't want poor people talking about how the economy really is. They will say things like the economy is doing great, or all the things that have happened in your life are under your control. Some jerk wrote to people who had been laid off, "A Job is Not a Charity". Same with obesity, the diet industrial complex, doesn't want people talking about medical disorders and things that affect especially severe obesity.

One can see the open lack of empathy, understanding and education that is now advanced among certain circles.

Punk Cooking


seen on Pinterest/Ernie Bushmiller

This blogger's wife must cook like me. I sometimes just toss together what I got and not in order. I make up a lot of stuff when I cook too and probably have invented new dishes by accident.