Friday, October 31, 2014

The Latest with my Brother

I am realizing more about my brother. He is not only trained by the family system he is just a more covert version of the rest of them. Maybe not so covert as I am analyzing all this. I am keeping very low contact for now but will be reassessing this with time.  Sadly this relationship is on the ebb too. It could easily be no contact one day.

 I will have no family left [never really had one] but I just can't put up with this stuff anymore. I know I can't trust him either as he has played flying monkey and been a source of information to my mother. He would not stick up for me even when it wouldn't cost him a thing. This was always in the back of my mind, but while he can appearing friendlier and charming at times expending efforts my sister does not, the same meanness and issues of poor character apply.

The only reason for any contact is a practical point of getting information. In this case, I saw him as the relative who cared about me to a certain extent but I was wrong. I will view him like an old high school acquaintance on a social website.. I only have contact left with him and distant cousins at this point and cards to nieces and nephews. I have given up on him. I am glad I did not push myself to go on a visit, that I could barely afford health wise or money wise. This would have been a waste of my time. He's been slamming the door in my face just as much as my sister but with a bigger smile on his face.

 I haven't seen him in five years. I have noticed his actions don't match his words. I have noticed while he told me he loved me, he has the same attitude of contempt towards me and is just as mean as the rest.  He is manipulative, when I confronted him with an issue, he suddenly took ill and yelled at me for "not caring" as he had to go to the hospital the night before with chest pain, suggesting he had
a heart attack when it was really an esophageal issue.  I tried to talk to him about some things, and was treated like I was a "bother". I only private message him about once every 8 weeks or so, this is not someone I am talking to everyday. He has a filthy mouth so I've had to erase many f-bombs in the below and make some spelling corrections

Here is some excerpts from our latest conversations. Notice the excuses and contempt.  I know reading this, some will say to me, "He doesn't sound like a very nice person." The scary thing he was one of the "nicer" ones. With the family, I was always pushed away even if I doled out myself very sparsely. This rejection got hard to take.  He blew off my birthday the week we had this exchange too and couldn't even write a social website greeting.

"Wow you need to calm the ***** down. I've been extremely busy this morning. left at 8:45 and just got home. The reason you see me on messenger  {and I told you this **** before is because it is on my ****** phone."

Here I tried to send him an article about narcissism, of course he did not read it. Anything that takes too much intellectual effort is not for them. The willful laziness is beyond annoying. Of course that applied to all of them. Scapegoats will attest to how none of them listen to us.

"Now to your book you wrote last week. One when the ****** have I ever listened to mom on anything? That's always been her problem with me."

Excuses for flat out ignoring private messages over a series of month. His business? Taking 6-8 teens around to sell candy bars out of a van. He sold e-cigarettes for awhile at a flea market but I believe that is on hiatus. I am in shock, he can maintain his lifestyle on both of these seemingly limited ventures.  He does everything his mother tells him to do.

"The only reason I don't talk as much to anyone {Your not the only one I haven't seen any of my friends in months! is because Im so damn busy running a business, taking care of personal stuff and dealing with Dumbass."

"Dumbass" is his exwife who while she is not perfect I feel more and more sorry for. While she had her faults, he did treat her badly. He never defended her as my mother scapegoated and attacked her for years.

Here I am talking about how my mother is manipulating him and that I am going to continue my no contact. He is not happy with that.

" I'm not going to do that though.  You need to put sh*t behind you.  You seem to have an issue with that!"

I responded to him: "I can't forgive and forget when the abuse is ongoing and that it is was the "new" stuff that down the pike to be worried about."

I had an exchange just like this with my sister, one of the last times I talked to her where she wrote to me on private message, "You need to put the small stuff behind you."

Both of my siblings have drank the narc Kool-Aid and gone swimming in it.

He wrote me then: "But  I'm ** years old, have a business, girlfriend two kids and a life. I put all that sh*t behind me."

He is trying to imply I have no life. My childlessness was something they always used to attack me. PCOS doesn't help with fertility.  The wall of iron stays up. None ever listen to me. They never take any of my feelings in consideration. So why bother? I'd rather be alone then around people like this. He isn't a very nice person. Even the craziness I talked about in this article with his ex-wife, shows how they are willing to crush and malign someone.

My mother is busy buttering him up. He flipped in a milli-second. She went to visit him [around 300 miles away] twice in two months. Before he was lucky to have her drive down once every five years.  I know there is a reason for that. It was to ensure me being tossed under the bus. He never said one word to defend me to her. In one PM he even wrote to me, "Mom doesn't know why you did what you did"!

I wrote him back and said, "I sent her a 2 page email", and I told her!" He of course ignored me.

 I also have noticed an extreme pattern of him only calling me up to brag about a new purchase or show something off. Years ago I complained about this to my husband. He got this from my parents where material possessions were the sum total of any person. He is poorer then my sister, mother and my other relatives, and always going into debt to measure up to the rest and exaggerating his achievements.

His girlfriend contacted me and he did too, to brag about moving into a 2600 square foot rental house last week.  She private messaged me pictures of the inside of one rental house and then the one they did end up renting. I didn't ask for any of this information. I know Mommy trained him for this too. My mother has been buttering up the girlfriend too, who I had to go more distant with too as her questions got nosey, and I knew the answers would be going back to my mother. She was friendly and treated me well but sadly, the Queen Spider tosses a web on everyone.  For years, most of my brother's phone calls centered around bragging, I wouldn't hear from him for months but he would call me on the very day, he bought a new wide screen jumbo TV, new computer equipment, a new van, a new car and now a new larger rental house.

Ok so this is our latest conversations, my feelings are ignored, he never stands up for me and then yesterday he writes me saying, "I wrote you down as a reference for a finance company to buy some new furniture, they will be calling you today."

This made me laugh.

Like the person who has refused me even the smallest iota of respect now wants a favor from me?

When they called, I had my husband tell them I was not home.

Today Caller ID will be my friend.

This is something new for me. I was always dive-bombing for their crumbs. Those days are over.

Wannabe Physics Majors Fail When It Comes to Fat!

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire! isn't going to fix the problem with obesity in this country.

Essentially that is the position of many out there.

So 40% of the population decided to become fat?

I don't think so.

I see memes like this one:

It's funny how many people out there think the human body runs like a car.

Put the gas in, it's supposed to all burn off like in a car?

Does the human body work like a car?

Most of them should flunk high school chemistry on that one alone.

They are so so ever disgusted with the overeaters.

These aren't brains who will break out a copy of Salt, Sugar, Fat  and get the bigger picture. Remember that Idiocracy movie I mentioned, well, big picture thinking is falling by the way side. Fat people eat too much, is the thing they have burned into their brain like a laser.

You will note, that none ever ask, "Why are people eating so much?"

Even when it screws their bodies up.

A long time ago, I wrote this article.

Are Fat People Hungrier?

How come none ever ask that question? A few scientists have like Lustig have.

It's the food, stupid, is my response.

Also it is metabolism, it does differ in people, but fat people are the CANARY in the COAL MINE in a toxic environment.

In other words some are more sensitive then others.

Do I eat too much? Well I run at around 2,000-1800 a day. 1800 is the aim. A bad day is around 2000.  Maybe I would lose more on 1200, but the hunger pain kills me. I ate an apple and a turkey bacon sandwich for breakfast, I keep a running tally in my head all day long.

I have written down everything I've eaten in the last 4 months.

I know for sure there are thin people who eat about the same as me or less. I lost around 10lbs in the last 2 months. I believe that one has to actively prevent weight gain when they are at my size, this is to preserve my mobility. They do not realize since I lost down from near 700lbs, I have to fight to stay in the 500s. I want to be back down to the 400s, which I have reached on occasion. Of course the wannabe physics majors will claim, I have to be eating 4 pumpkin pies a day. My Flexitouch takes off enough water, I can have shorts fit one day that fall down the next.

Does Physics describe the totality of the human body?

Hasn't the calories in and calories out rule been disproven?

But they cling to that one so hard.


Because obesity is now becoming a them vs. us, class marker contest of profits and lies.

No one wants to hear the truth on that one.

Obesity is far more complicated then Calories in and Calories out.

And if anyone is really interested in solving the problem of obesity, they need to go back to metabolism, food and other issues.

Not pound on the 40 years of diets that have failed and the same shaming garbage. Obesity is the health problem they just want to abuse people over. I am not kidding myself thinking that the wannabe physics majors want me healthy and thin, they just see being thin as a status seeking enterprise where they can beat up on fat people because it is something sanctioned by this sick society. The sick society is causing the obesity to begin with. 

Profit off the Obesity Epidemic? I don't believe it~!

Investors profit off the Obesity Epidemic

My title of course is a bit tongue in cheek. When millions need diabetic drugs, that will bring in the cash as well.

Try New Foods: Parsnips

Allergic to potatoes, parsnips are a good alternative. I roasted some for a side dish last night with fresh brussel sprouts, and that was a very tasty dish.

Propaganda Against the Fat

                                                 [picture source]

Isn't this just another way to say "Fat People are Stupid" but using biased studies to do so?

Hey I know America as a whole is dumbing down like crazy.  Idiocracy wasn't just a movie it was prophecy.  All the fluoride poured into the water? The stupid believe that the news tells the truth like this article.

"(CBS) Does being not-so-smart make people not-so-skinny? Experts say a controversial new study adds to a growing body of evidence linking low intelligence to weight problems. It shows that men who score low on IQ tests in adolescence are more likely to be overweight in middle age.
PICTURES: Living large: 31 ginormous goods for plus-sized people
For the study - described at a recent meeting of the American Heart Association - researchers in Sweden compared the waist-hip ratios of more than 5,000 40-year-old men to their scores on IQ tests taken when they were around 18 years of age. The researchers found a strong inverse relationship between the ratios, which scientists use to gauge obesity and heart disease risk.
In other words, the fattest men had the lowest IQ scores.
What might explain the link between low intelligence and middle-aged spread? One possibility is that less-intelligent people make poorer food choices, Dr. Robert H. Eckel, professor of medicine at the University of Colorado School Medicine, told CBS News. Another, he said, is that they are more averse to exercising than people who are more intelligent."

Some of us are too smart to fall for their garbage.

We know propaganda is real, and so is social programming. We don't fall for stupid crap like a woman who is a nurse supposedly having Ebola which supposedly makes you bleed out of every orifice, suddenly showing up bouncy like she just got out of the spa to give Obama a hug. We ask questions and realize money floats the boat as well as a multitude of other agendas. Obesity in the USA is being used more and more as a class marker as they pour toxic chemicals into the food. Some of that stuff most likely will affect the brain but what way to help with the slim thin as racing dogs elite vs, the fat peasant divide then to publish propaganda like this.  Supposedly the fat are stupid, that is why they are fat. Hey it keeps the focus off the real problems.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Dr. Phil Needs to Call Out Narcissists and Sociopaths Directly

 Yesterday I watched this show on Dr. Phil, the second video has it, in it's entirety. The show includes a past guest, Andrue who seems to be a very strong young man now in recovery who got taken out of his house for shooting himself in the chest. I saw the first show some time ago and he relayed how he wanted to escape the abuse and misery he was in. He was taken out of the home and reunited with his real father who treats him far better. This is a second show where his parents Minnie and Lon [his stepfather] were allowed to come back and make a plea for their children to be returned to their home.

His siblings were taken out of the abusive home as Andrue relayed to CPS, what abuses were happening from his baby sister being left in a car seat locked behind a closet door, the substance abuse, and beatings. To be frank, these parents were obvious malignant narcissists, both could even be sociopaths especially the stepfather, whose cold eyes glared at Dr. Phil and asserted his authority time and time again. He was evil and cruel. He didn't even pretend to be nice for national TV but one could fathom behind closed doors, he is far worse.

The mother was an obvious malignant narcissist, they could have put her photo in the dictionary above the disorder. In her case, there were definitely some histrionic leanings too but her cold eyes, lack of love and endless excuses and inability to face her sins, all showed the real deal. Now in Dr. Phil's defense, he called her out on lies about her substance abuse, displayed her drunk arrogant and self promoting Twitters, and one video where she showed her dead eyes in even fuller force where every picture of her was of modeling poses for too many minutes. He also challenged the other one and put up evidence that what Andrue had described was true, as the mother, Minnie, was divorcing Lon, the stepfather and father of the younger children put claims of violence and abuse in her divorce papers.

One sickening and self revelatory moment is when Lon claimed he had burned all of Andrue's photos. Minnie's fake tears are disgusting. The show proceeded in a very bad direction. Andrue comes out on stage and his mother Minnie kept up with her excuses and sickening denials of her evil..."I did the best I could!" Dr, Phil and a CPS leader said, they needed to comply with what CPS wanted to get their children back. Andrue said, they should never be moved and were happier where they were at. At one point he seems to be the only one with any sanity stating, "Quit playing the victim!" to his mother.

Dr. Phil and the CPS worker talked about reunification with these rotten parents, and I was livid. What these parents have wrong will never be fixable. They have no hearts and soul and no consciences or love. I kept thinking, "Oh great, now these narcs will get a can of get smart, and do an acting job to fool all the social workers!" It seemed like Dr. Phil was giving them advice to play the system. Andrue looked devastated near the end, he is free due to his age but you could see the fear he had for his siblings in his face as they blathered on about reunification. I found myself thinking, doesn't Dr. Phil know these parents are malignant narcissists? I am not a Dr. Phil supporter and wonder about some of the influences of this show, but their personality disorders were so OBVIOUS!

Maybe legally there are reasons he can't come out and say, "You are malignant narcissists!" Maybe he put on this show to display their bad behaviors to the world in defense of Andrue, I don't know. Something seemed weird. Andrue's heart seemed to be breaking as he said, why do they get all the second chances or something along those lines. He isn't perfect either, I can tell he was impacted by all the abuse, but there is too much outside evidence that he was telling the truth about his abusive parents. I hope that his siblings are protected.

 Dr. Phil was wrong to even couch reunification with narcissistic parents as a possibility. He betrayed Andrue with this talk. He let the mother insult and berate Andrue with nary a word especially when she said to him, "I've apologized to you over and over!" I hope and pray Andrue goes "No contact" with both. In his case, he is fortunate to have a loving bio father. There needs to be some standing up and direct exposure. There needs to be more truth out there about how these kind of people operate. A malignant narcissist and sociopath can never be a decent parent. Leave the children in foster homes where they are thriving. Child protective services should be having seminars on sociopathy and narcissistic personality disorder to educate their workers. Children need protected from them.

Why focus on the parents getting the children back? This sickened me. Sadly Minnie announced she was pregnant by Lon.Maybe she was lying but  I thought, "Poor baby!". I hope Andrue can go have a good life and was glad he was brave enough to stand up after he was taken out of the home on behalf of his siblings. Many agreed with me on the Dr. Phil message boards. To even discuss possible reunification was a betrayal of these children.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Water is Soothing

I took this photo some time ago. It always calms me down. The flat expanse of the water seems to be a soothing affect. One thing I like to do is spend lots of time in nature when I can or watching boats go by. I write about some of the heavy stuff on this blog but in day to day life, seeking some beauty is important too.