Saturday, October 13, 2018

Peep Paintings for Sale!

These are two of my favorite paintings, I hate to even have to let them go but here's your chance to enjoy! Write me here at I will send you the link to my ebay. Thanks :)

Tuesday, October 9, 2018


I'm enjoying watercolor class. This definitely is a media I am getting into. I had a lot of fun making this painting, even dotting the strawberries.

Monday, October 8, 2018

They Do Want to Subjugate Women

The Kavenaugh debacle was rough on me and many others.  The Republicans gave a big middle finger to women nationally putting a wannabe rapist on the Supreme Court. Remember they could have chosen a man or woman who was not a would be rapist or sex abuser and didn't have all that baggage, but they wanted Mr. Patriot Act and defender of extreme presidential pardons put into that office. You know years ago moderate Republicans used to have an idea of treating women with some respect but these present day extremists and monsters don't care. So if you are a Republican woman, this article is to warn you too. They do want to subjugate women.

 It's time to wake up and smell the coffee. I woke up and realized I had been led to false ideas about feminism when I wrote the old article Not a Fan of Feminism. I realized it wasn't the feminists bringing the economic oppression but other forces in society. Here too, is where my own religious indoctrination influenced me in a negative way. I now have returned to feminist ideals.

Since Trump brought the racists out of the closet with their pointy hoods in Charlottesville, I suspect now sexism is going to increase and sexual violence is going to grow.  Rapey sociopathic frat boys and red pill woman-hating incels will now cheer!  The good ole boy club doesn't care, you are just an object to them. Reagan appointed Sandra Day O'Connor, and while Reagan had major faults bringing us false trickle down economics, at least back then conservative men at least wanted to make an appearance of respecting woman. Now that's gone with "Grab them by the Pussy" Trump leading the charge. They don't care, and they aren't pretending anymore, the gloves are off.

One thing, let's keep in mind that now the Republican and evangelical/conservative Christian world is joined at the hip. Many don't pay attention to these religious roots, but they have grown stronger ever since the Tea Party came into vogue and the Republican party moved further to the right.

The blatant disrespect of women is not by accident. Trump is their front bad boy to play cover, while they work on bringing us hardcore Dominionism and Theocracy. Few realize Kavenaugh even came out against birth control. Think about that as most focus on the possible demise of Roe Vs. Wade. I never could under pro-lifers who wanted to do away with all the birth control, but that's about oppression too. Activists are dressing in red robes and white bonnets, knowing that The Handmaid's Tale could be made into reality.

handmaid tale protesters

Many people don't know this, but in the evangelical world, biblical partriarchy is being advanced. It is a movement of it's own. I warn people how bad it is, but I am not sure many believe me. It's march was first hand to me. It's messages were preached to me from many pulpits and at Christian conferences and bible studies.  The Duggars support it and the homeschooling world but I noticed a change in all the churches I had attended and visited. This included mainstream evangelical and mainline churches, all of them were teaching that women should obey men. These ideas aren't just in the fundamentalist world. To refuse to submit as a wife definitely made you a sinner. Radical feminists were the devil's daughters.

In the IFB they had me read Fascinating Womanhood a book that said women had to submit to keep their marriages happy. I got in trouble at one women's bible study at my old IFB, saying I thought the book was nonsense and no woman could survive being a blind follower to men. Maybe they should have done me a favor and thrown me out of the church but I remember mutterings about me having an unsaved husband and "not understanding" because I was then a "babe in Christ".

These issues also came up  later at a book club in a mainline Lutheran church, we read a book called Redeeming Love. I told the other book club members, this historical fiction book taught women to submit to controlling and abusive men, and they disagreed with me. One pointed out, "we are supposed to obey men". I noticed this message in mainstream evangelical churches too, including in one conference, where they told the women there, men were to have leadership in the home and they were not to misled by feminism.

The big word was "Complementarianism" in Christian circles and it meant women were to stay within their role and obey their husbands.

Here is the Nashville Statement in favor of Complementarianism. The Nashville Statement was signed by thousands of top evangelical leaders. Notice the key word SUBMISSIVE is used within this document.

Have you ever wondered why these evangelicals focus so much on commanding everyone's bedrooms and now their personal at home lives? It's about power. They want the women to submit and not question. Power is easier to obtain when you have shamed half of the population into meek subservience and thinking that God Himself ordered it. This is why the white old boy's club--even the ones who are now into their 80s, can treat women like trash and get away with it. Some have equated God's will with the subjugation of women.

The evangelicals love power, while they claim these things are about religion and restoring the order and goodness of society, it is all about power. This is Dominator vs. Persuader Society stuff. Someone always has to be in charge and vying for power in Dominator Societies. The religion itself is about power. Thousands of Christian and religious leaders signed a document that calls directly for women to submit. This document was called The Nashville Statement.  At the link you can see who signed it. It was written by a group called The Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. They are one of the groups who are the biggest promoters of biblical patriarchy and Dominionism. Lest you think this is just some "small" group of a few extremists, realize it's connections to top Republican politicians. Michele Bachmann supports it's endeavors. There are members of the Family Research Council in this group including Tony Perkins.

James Dobson as well as many other notables signed it. Some of these men are advisors to Trump and on his evangelical council. So don't dismiss this stuff as just a few religious nuts trying to lord over women in their churches, they want women lorded over nation wide. They do have the reigns of power now. This is one reason the blue wave is important and you must go vote. The evangelical Dominionists do have Catholic allies for their pursuit of religious and political power, and Kavenaugh is definitely among that number.

I left Christianity because I believe it is an authoritarian religion at it's root, but I know there are Christians who are not authoritarian in outlook, problem is these are, and they have millions supporting them who want women, and other minorities too be subjugated. The racism goes with the hatred for women.

 Kavenaugh's placement in the Supreme Court, was a dismissal of all women nation wide. A man of any integrity even if innocent would have withdrawn and not presented himself as angry and belligerent talking about "liking beer". He didn't look innocent at all to me. His facial expressions took me right back to "I am always right!" narcissistic rages. He didn't have the look of a man falsely accused either begging to get his name cleared but the arrogance of someone who plans to get their way no matter what and is used to getting it too. The gaslighting stunk up the whole nation especially when he and his friends claimed Devil's Triangle was a drinking game instead of a threesome. Anyone who has been a victim of abuse and has any degree of being "woke" to them, knew that guy was lying out his teeth.

I grew up in the upper middle class Catholic culture. Ironically some of those years were in the Washington DC area, with government worker parents. I grew up being taught too in the Catholic church that men were in charge, after all women couldn't be priests. I've seen Kavenaugh's type among many legions of drunk dead-eyed frat boys, including one who in college tried to sleep with me because I was a fat girl for a fraternity contest. That smaller guy didn't try to jump or rape me unlike others but the disrespect was there. He left after I rejected his advances.

 I was brought up with the idea men were worth far more then girls. While I drove the old family station wagon later as a teen in fly-over country, my year older brother drove a new gold Trans-Am. After all I was told he was going to be continuing the family name. I was told as a girl my main job was to be pretty, and to have babies. Because I failed on normative standards of beauty, I was treated like a boy but without all the privileges of being male because I was female. Femininity in my family was equated to being second class, and lower status. Boys were far more higher status.

When there is no appreciation or love of women in a family, abuse for women is a given. I watched my father excuse the domestic violence against his own sister. He treated me with disrespect and abuse as well. Do you want this for an entire nation? Well these sad excuses for leaders are bringing it unless people start standing up. 

Boys will be boys ethos was all around me. Because I was not a pretty thin girl and was the scapegoat, I was treated like Meg in Family Guy, where I was smacked around like a dude and had to fight. It occurred to me, even how when my brother told me to F off,  when I am 50 year old disabled woman, that really spoke more of one man fighting another man then how a brother should ever talk to a sister, fight or no fight. My brother once stopped traffic on a major highway to impress a girl. He drove his car side by side with hers, and blocked miles of traffic for a long period of time. A poorer black or even poor white kid would have seen the inside of the juvenile home, but he never did. It was a slap on the wrist and nothing else. He was never told by my parents to protect me as a brother or to treat me with any respect. He wasn't the golden child, but because he was male, his status was far higher.

Disrespect for women was paramount in my family so what I saw on the national stage was nothing new. Women's ideas were discounted. Basic respect thrown out the window. For many of us it was reliving abusive moments in our lives like when I got grabbed in the breasts at one job surrounded by male laughter about my weight, and I jammed the guy hard with my elbows ready to start punching and because I fought back, they then left me alone. And what of us who have faced sexual assault attempted or completed and other sexual abuse? This last week, with an abusive man in our faces imposed upon the nation as a JUDGE, was triggering. Narcissists don't care what people think. They don't try to resolve anything either. They just lie.

It was reliving basic disrespect, dismissal and being devalued by men for many women. There's a point in a nation where evil is reigning and we are at that time now. If you are a woman, realize these men want to subjugate women. Many of them are using religion to do it. Many of them are getting you to vote and support malignant narcissists and sociopaths. If your religion is telling you to support these men, maybe you need to rethink what you are being told.

Old Ideas


I believe her.  Many people don't report at the time, they know the repercussions that await.

Thursday, September 27, 2018

creating sickness | recovering from religion [cc]

This video explores the inherent injustice in religion and brings forth the question "Why does a supposedly perfect being demand perfection out of beings it created to be imperfect?"  Another question the video asks is "Why are we subjected to these sufferings by a Creator whose immune to them?."

Monday, September 24, 2018

Did Dr. Phil Betray A Scapegoat? Dropping the Ball When it comes to Narcissistic Families!

“My Mother and Sister Poisoned My Daughter Against Me and Now I Refuse to Go to Her Wedding!”

 Did anyone see this Dr. Phil from last week? It was awful.

Kristen, the focus of the show, did have some problems and showed too many emotions to narcissists which is the soonest way to get burned. I could see those narcissists sitting there and laughing with their exaggerated lies. It was gang-up time. Their cold dead eyes and smirks spoke for themselves.

Dr Phil sent her off to get treatment for PTSD, but I wish there was some real education about narcissism on Dr. Phil. Some say he is one himself, so maybe that's why we never see narcissists called out for their evil behavior on his show. There seems to be no other explanation. This family had definitely ganged up on this woman as the "identified patient" and gone to town, and he had nothing to say about it like usual. Has Dr. Phil ever mentioned malignant narcissism or sociopathy?

Dr Phil always seems to ally with the narcissists or be very silent in the face of their behavior.  Here, he diagnosed Kristen with PTSD but pussyfooted around the real cause of the PTSD and that sucked. That denied millions of viewers information about these narcissistic families and what they can do to people. Narcs will never out narcs, and always defend them.

"Aunt Susie" definitely has stolen this woman's daughter and put herself in the place of where her mother should be. The daughter to me, acted like every other flying monkey and narcissist enabler I have ever seen, where they defend the family members and treat the scapegoat like a throwaway. Sadly Kristen let her emotions lead which dug her hole deeper.

Narcissists will use everything said in the heat of anger or upset and twist it and turn it against a scapegoat. The only solution here is to go no contact with the daughter as well as the rest of the family. The daughter has already chosen the narcissistic family. It's a horrific loss to lose an adult child this way, but this daughter will bring her down along with the rest.

I noticed they had no empathy for her mental health issues, and denied and mocked her PTSD diagnosis. She was sexually abused too. That's how narcissists operate, there's no mercy for ANY health problems. I have lived that. If you suffer from anxiety, or depression or other issues, THEY DON'T CARE. While you are considered defective, the irony is at the same time, in that "defectiveness", any mental health issues are denied, and a scapegoat is blamed and devalued.

She stood alone, facing down all those flying monkeys and her daughter. Many of us ACONs have been in that position. We know what's its like. No one ever took my side. I was used to being alone pretty early on.  I talked about how I went no contact with the whole family after a time of trying to reason with the others and presenting my side of things. There was two choices, be abused, and listen to excuses and put-downs the rest of my life or walk. Kristen is at that crossroads too. I hope someone tells her to walk and about no contact.

There's no talking things out or reasoning with narcissists or a narcissistic family system. Many probably go on these talk shows thinking they will find justice or someone to go to bat for them, but they just get thrown under the bus yet again. This is disappointing to watch. I had thoughts years of ago taking Queen Spider on a talk show, and fantasies about "outing" her on national TV.  We probably all have those fleeting thoughts, that Dr. Phil, Oprah, and the rest would bring us justice. It is a pipe dream. There's something negative in the human psyche too where they believe narcissists. The majority on Dr. Phil's Facebook page rooted for the family and chided Kristen. 

Dr. Phil never challenged the narcissists, he had them leave at one point, but that was it. He did not address their behavior or anything. He let the family get off scott-free while they remained in cruel dismissal of Kristen. With some groups, we have been maligned and there is no changing it. I hope Kristen is not told by false psychologists and others to "behave" for her family, whatever she does nothing will be good enough. She will always be the scapegoat.
Dr Phil never told us how she got PTSD from abusers, the sexual abuse was named in passing, she was never gave much empathy or support and he gave her no true defense. He believed everything the narcissists said, and told her that her behavior was "outrageous" and "overshadowed" the behavior of "others" without mentioning that bad behavior of the others. So she got called on the carpet and their bad behavior was never addressed.

Dr Phil did excuse the gang-up and I noticed he focused on the mother's behavior but never questioned the daughter. Yeah that poor woman got really no support. I actually think they victimized her right in front of anyone. Some of the stuff that they reported she said sounded like exaggerated bullshit to me.

At one point that horrified me, she was trying to tell Dr. Phil they manufactured some of the "crazy texts" and this was ignored. I could tell she was telling the truth.The smirks were giant then. They took pleasure in her pain, and knew they "had her".  They reveled in her humiliation.

Yeah this show fed off the suffering of a scapegoat. If that PNP centers tells her to "forgive and forget" abusive family members or tells her she has to "reconcile" and keep these people in her life, they will be wasting her time, and taking her to a worse place. For her PTSD to be healed, she needs to be away from these abusers and go no contact.

I have warned about Dr. Phil before on this blog.