Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Generation X: The Scapegoat Generation is Dying Young

Age 45-54 is now Generation X.

Generation X is dying young...The above study spoken about in the above videos makes it clear.

The death rates for our group are rising. Yesterday's "slackers" are kicking the bucket far faster then their parents.

Some articles blame the drugs, and AIDS.  These are window covering issues. The power that be outside a few alternative media outlets are hiding the real issue which is the dying economy and changed life-styles. NAFTA and other trade deals like it have changed life in America and are stripping things down.  Other races and minority groups have greatly suffered themselves with higher death rates for decades so this study concerns mostly white people. It's obvious the economy has kicked Generation X in the face. There's a reason that Baby Boomers have 47 times the wealth. 

Being 47 years old, I have noticed my friends have died far younger and been more sick, then my parent's generation. None of us expect to live as long. One friend died at 46, one man at 55, another in his 50s, my husband's best friend died at 39 and this doesn't include the people who are already disabled. Generation X is not living as long as the Baby Boom generation. Why not? Our parent's generation had a far more economically stable life. They had more access to medical care. They had more secure lives. They had stable families that stuck by them, who did not abandon them or constantly move away. My mother has never faced want or loneliness as an adult. She has never gone to a hospital fearing a resultant tens of thousands of dollar bill from lack of medical insurance. My mother's life has been nothing like my own. She has never seen the inside of a food pantry, she had stable employment that was 8 hours a day, which included retirement benefits and allowed for a life with vacations, a nice home, and expendable income. Many of her peers have shared in the same easier lives.

 I will be talking about generational trends.  So yes, there will be a broad brush applied to some of these issues. There are good and bad people in every generation so I post this with the caveat again, this does not apply to every individual and there are good and bad people in every generation.  The Baby Boomer generation being one of most selfish generations in human history in America, has thrown their own children--Generation X and millennials under the bus for their own benefit. Do any of the wealthy oldsters around here enjoying their retirements, giant bank accounts and new cars, notice the people my age, walking in the rain and snow from their low wage jobs?

While Generation X sunk further down and the millennials have not even been able to afford their own apartments or homes, the Baby Boom generation benefitted from this. The Baby Boomers were told they were special over and over, and boy they never let us forget it! Thus they did not care about what happened to their children after them. Most generations want things to improve for their children, the Baby Boomers, put up bumper stickers on their new Cadillac that said "Spending my children's inheritance"---and boy did they!

The narcissistic sabotage for Generation X, started when we were in our twenties. Don't you know there was a reason when they labeled us all lazy slackers? We couldn't do anything right and we just got out of college. Like narcissist parents do to the scapegoat, we were handed bags of hot air and false illusions that did not pan out. Baby Boomers got the full attention of the world's media, and intelligentsia, and still even as they age, this has not ended. Did you know the millennials are a bigger generation in numbers then Baby Boomers? Bet you didn't. Why? Because all of our lives we have been told how the Baby Boomers are the biggest and the best generation and others did not matter. 

We are reaching late adulthood and still hearing about Kennedy getting shot and the rest ad nauseum, while our youthful times get mere nods. No one's talking much about the 80s, sure the Germans got their show Deutschland 83 and there's been a few movies, and memes referring to movies like Back to the Future, but it's like the 60s never ended. I never expected to be this old, and still having it shoved down my throat.

Everytime it seems I read a book even, it's a Baby Boomer doing the talking. Even a recent book I'm reading from the library on education Mission High, featured a teacher who had been in the Weathermen as a youth and graduated in 1967. He was another old hippie pontificating to me the virtues in this case of Common Core. They couldn't get any younger teachers to interview? Generation X still remains invisible even as we ascend into late adulthood and middle age, behind the attention hogging Baby Boomers. 

  “Generation Xers are the forgotten middle child generation,” says Faith Popcorn, a trend consultant who advises companies on generational differences. “They’re worried about both the present and future. They understand more than millennials that they could be replaced by robots and a lot of them don’t think they’ll ever be able to afford kids or qualify for mortgages.”
Popcorn says “6 in 10 boomers and millennials think their generations are special but only one-third of Gen Xers do. You wouldn’t want to be a Gen Xer.”

We were gas-lighted and told we were "entitled" for having basic wants and needs like an actual full time job that paid the bills instead of pieced together temp work and part time jobs at the coffee shop counter. While Baby Boomers enjoyed the benefits of worker rights and unions, today many of them join the Tea Party and make sure to vote away any of the same breaks for the younger generations. Empathy must be gone, because aren't some of them seeing their adult children doing far worse, because of the cut-throat job market? Selfishness is winning out at the polls. None of the partying in Florida Baby Boomer set, seems to care that most of their adult children will be cooking a can of beans over a rusted metal trash can when they hit their old age, because retirements and pensions are a thing of the past. Even as we get older and sicker, they tell us we deserved it for "failing".

 A life time of being called a "loser" by your parents has taken an extreme emotional toll on Generation X. Broken homes, constant moving, lack of stability and then financial insecurity with huge loads of stigma for not measuring up to parental expectations has hurt many members of Generation X without measure. Our lives were destroyed via our parent's selfishness.  Narcissists to the end, they sabotaged their own children and competed with them and never let them in the door. Financial pressures that never ended where cash-starved twenties became still struggling forties and fifties took a massive mental and physical toll in Generation X. We never could relax. In too many of our lives, while our parents had fun and shopped while they dropped, the answer for us was always "No". The false dreams we were handed by a bunch of narcissists were crushed by the hard cold hand of reality.

The Baby Boom generation up rooted marriage with their constant divorces, and destruction of traditional values, with the counterculture and drugs leading the way, Baby Boomers led us to many of the rotten places we are today. The old Woodstock navel gazing hippies who only cared about themselves graduated to the career and money obsessed yuppies of the 1980s.  The "freedom fighters" became the world's biggest neo-liberal fascists or fascist Tea Partier/Republicans. They codified lack of mercy and the worship of monolithic power.  They told us "God is dead" and spat on natural human emotions like affection. Earlier generations were taught family cohesion, loyalty, and defending the weaker and young. Baby Boomers weren't interested in any of that. They were more interested in "finding themselves". Baby Boomers being the most godless narcissistic generation to ever exist, have paved a path of destruction through this country like no other generation before them.

Do the Baby Boomers have empathy for people younger then them? Surely there are some good souls among them, but empathy is lacking in many places. How many Generation X people were told they were "losers" and couldn't do anything right as the carpet was ripped from beneath them? How many were told by the often New Age believing Baby Boomers, that they didn't think positive thoughts? So many of us are told "thinking positive" will deliver the cash right to our door. Sorry it doesn't work. Our media expresses no empathy for the younger generations. They repeat over and over young people [and now middle aged people]  are selfish, and lazy.

The SAME exact thing happened to Generation X [this magazine is from the early 90s]

"Hard act to follow"? Anyone want to barf along with me? Maybe there's a reason we wore nothing but black in our twenties. We were already in mourning knowing what awaited us. I had three years in my life where I wore nothing but black. We were already told we were LOST and that it was ALL OUR FAULT, and had nothing to do with the horrible changes being wrought in the economy. There's a reason we went goth, grunge and had the depressed Kurt Cobain as a spokesman.

In other words, Generation X was SCAPEGOATED TO THE MAX.

and they are still doing it to younger people too. "It's your fault there's no job, it's because you are too immature!" is the subtext on this Baby-boomer insulting cover.

Two Thirds Of Gen X Households Have Less Wealth Than Their Parents Did At The Same Age

Let's not forget the gas-lighting is part of the Baby Boomer game too. The poorer generations have been gas lighted to death. Told they are not achievers or as "hard working". There is a reason that many wealthier Boomers have joined the Tea-Party and want to do away with welfare and help for the poor.  It's not about improving the country, it's about protecting their own money. How many of us younger people were told we were personally responsible for all of our economic troubles? My husband was blamed for his lay-offs and so was I. My family in my extreme case literally threw me away for my money problems, well before I went no contact. The insults never stopped coming. Lest some see this as just my personal experience, I see the same treatment all over in different degrees.

Young people and middle aged Generation X are called "bums", "losers" and more. They move home to angry older Baby Boomer parents who are outraged at their child's failures and don't let them forget it. How many Baby Boomers did I see complaining about their adult children living with them, who "couldn't get it together"?  One still sees in in the magazine articles complaining about the young people and middled aged living at home with their parents. Gas lighting here, covers the real situation which is the 1 percent busy destroying the economy and opportunities within it.

Baby Boomers as a whole are not a generation that is aging gracefully.  Since they have more money, life is easier, they seem younger then people my age, in a certain way. My husband took me to this 50's/60s music show where he got some free tickets. People 20-25 years older then me danced around, a few were on canes and sitting at tables who were less mobile. They flirted as much as high schoolers, the women shook their booties, some wearing tight jeans and halter tops and were all dressed "sexy". It was perverse display with some of them. The good times never ended for Grandma and Grandpa Baby Boomer! I felt like a peasant woman sitting there in my long dress and with my walker entering some kind of altered world where these people were experiencing reverse aging while I was growing older at an accelerated rate. Narcissists don't age like the rest of us. A predominantly narcissistic generation will cling on to youth with a death grip.  There seems to be little admittance of the passage of time or the normal introspection that should come with age, I've seen in people a generation ahead of them. 

When I was in my 30s, I liked to befriend older people. Most of my then elderly friends were from the SILENT generation. They were different, and more traditional.  They believed in self sacrifice, they didn't tell me "think positive" or that everything was the young person's fault, they told me younger people have it far worse today and that life changed for the worse. One lady who was a mother in the 1950s told me, "We were happy and had time to spend with our families, now you see these women, and it's nothing but "work, work, work". Another elderly friend who was around 80 was direct, "You younger people are getting sick and dying far faster. Young people are not as healthy, especially in your generation and younger. I think it is because life is far harder for you.

The above statistics in the videos speak for themselves.

Babyboomers Don't Care if Generations Below Them are Poorer

Materialism, Crushed by Bills and Baby Boomers

Tuesday, November 17, 2015


This one is great. Many ACONs especially scapegoats can find art to be a refuge. I do art projects in my head, my body is too tired to do all the time. Snapping photos without a camera. "Oh those yellow leaves look good on that blue background", so forth and so on. Sometimes I have the camera though. I believe art saved my life, I really do. It's why I became an art teacher and it gave me something to live for during many years when I was totally alone. There's 110 pages on the comic. Maybe one day I'll get it done or turn it into a zine. Bristol board and more Indian ink need purchasing.

The Hungry, Alone and Homeless

Ah this one really spoke to me.  I hate those "get out of poverty" clubs. The local Catholic church has one, and I bet they will condemn the people in it and tell them that if they worked hard enough they'd rise up. They will be told they are not thinking "positive" enough. Most people need practical help not lectures.

Many of the poor are some of the hardest working people I know. In fact if this county held a working hard contest, I'd pick this fellow that works 70 hours a week at two low wage jobs. That guy loves his girlfriend and you can tell would do anything for her. They don't have a car either and he has to walk or bus his way to work. For all the talk of the "lazy" on Fox news in the inner cities, I saw some of the hardest working people on planet when I lived in some of most poor neighborhoods.

There's too many who look down from the ivory tower, throw down a few crumbs and then judge people for being hungry, alone or cold. Too many of the churches have grown more guilty of this because they they have become middle class and above clubs that teach the ethos of Ayn Rand and the Tea Party on behalf of the bankers more then what the Bible preaches about the poor. There are some that do help and seem to have a real spirit of giving without any meanness.

The bible warns about self righteousness for a reason. If one wants to help people, you can't consider them the "other" or "less human" then you, then you are doing them more harm. I've had people mock me for talking about homelessness or people in the streets. It is getting cold and hard out there. I've met too many people severely hurt while suffering in poverty or illness or homelessness, because they were looked down on. The help was given with resentment or from a position of superiority.

Poor people aren't choosing for the economy to collapse or the "good jobs" to be taken away. Some don't want to admit what is going on.  There is a hidden collapse to America that is going to become less and less hidden as time goes by. I just realized we escaped poverty leaving Chicago years ago and we were able to climb out. When we fell back in, the lack of mercy spoke for itself. What of people who face even worse? What of people who are totally alone in this world?

When I see people suffering worse then me, my first thought is not "What did they do to deserve it?" but "What can I do, or I wish I could do something for them?". Sadly too many think the former thought. I think others who have suffered have the most compassion. They have had it for me.

A Father Stands up for his son:

I haven't seen this movie yet, but had someone email me this clip. It's definitely about a narcissistic mother oppressing her own children. One sees a rarity here which is a spouse [father] in this case standing up for the son she is scapegoating. Many of us hoped and dreamed of this but it never happened. I have realized I am the only one ever in my entire family network who has ever stood up to my mother, and that is kind of a scary feeling. This woman reminds me so much of my mother, its uncanny, even in her looks and nasty words. You will note the son is creative and gifted and singing from the heart.

August Osage County Where Narcissists Rule

Friday, November 13, 2015

Nomadic Fanatic

These videos by Nomadic Fanatic are interesting to me. I always loved road trips but given my low money and health right now, virtual trips can be fun too. If I ever won the Lotto, I would not be home tomorrow and would go on some short trips. I love exploring. Sometimes I have chosen shrinky-dink little towns to go to in my own county to go see what they are like. One positive aspect of moving too much, is you get to see different areas.

 The Oregon coast seems to be incredibly scenic. I live around some great scenery and am always digging up gas money to go on beach drives with my husband but it's far different there. I took videos the other day of crashing waves, but haven't been able to get them downloaded yet. We plan to make some videos for fun this weekend, maybe I can post some here. I wish I could visit a close friend of mine in Oregon and another one on the East coast.

JADE: How to deal with Narcissists.

ACONs are told constantly how we do not measure up. In the land of numbers and measure up or else, it's turning people colder. Satan is having a hey day in parts of American society. The Narcissists hurt people time and time again telling them they do not measure up. That's one of their main ways of doing it. They don't look at their own faults, they are busy ripping you to shreds over their imagined faults pertaining to you.

Since I have gone no contact, I have had to spend a lot of time building myself back up. It has occurred to me that the people who demanded certain things of a very chronically ill woman, were morally insane. They really didn't care about any true betterment of my situation, they wanted to use me to make themselves feel better. Narcissists and other toxics enjoy knocking others down, it's what they do.  I also realized that nothing ever was going to be good enough for these people. I didn't want to waste another breathe trying to please these types or convince them.

Their criticisms were used as a battering ram on me. With many of the toxic, criticism of you will never end. We are wasting our time trying to convince them we are decent people or to treat us like human beings, the only answer is to walk. JADE is something every ACON needs in their tool box. We don't have to have our lives ruined trying to get the unloving to love us. Once a toxic is discerned, ones main prerogative should be to GET AWAY but JADE can help us until we can run for the hills.

"A Gift from a friend - "JADE"
by Quercus, via Kara, via Dee, from whomever first coined the term

JADE is an acronym for four things one must never engage in during a conversation (most likely an argument) with a narcissistically-disordered person. is for "Justify". Justifying our actions, our boundaries, our decisions will not bring us any good. All the information given to the Narcissist during our kind and generous attempts to justify our standpoints will be catalogued in their minds for future use. Factoids none of us would think important will be spin-doctored into weapons to be used against us.
Perhaps worst of all, justification is really an appeal to them. We're appealing to them for their understanding, which, as we all know, they'll gleefully deny us! Justification makes us look weak, not thoughtful and open. Just weak. And weakness is something the Narcissist loves to exploit. "Because I said so" might seem like a rotten thing to say, but it's really your only option other than silence. Don't justify anything - your decisions are yours. You don't need to show your paper-trail. The decision is final.
is for "Argue". I'm not sure if Narcissists qualify automatically as the world's best debaters (in fact, I'm sure they'd almost all get chucked out of formal debates for over-stepping the bounds and going straight into personal attacks!), but I challenge you to think of a Malignant Narcissist who wasn't argumentative . . . and good at it.
As for the Narcissists in my family, I know I can't beat them at an argument. At least, even when I think I've really hammered a point home eloquently and brilliantly (and I'm waiting for the resounding applause from the imaginary courtroom of supporters to echo loudly in my ears!), I find that, somehow, my cunning bit of logic and air-tight reasoning has been circumvented. And typically it wasn't countered or disproved - it was mocked and ridiculed. You could be the world's greatest debater, you could even be a seasoned defense attorney and have rousing speeches flowing out of you like molasses in august, and you will 'lose' to the Narcissist. It's because 'they're never wrong', even when you can prove it. So don't argue.
is for "Defend". Just like "Argue" above, you can construct such an air-tight case and deliver it, real tears and all, expecting their human heart to melt and their hard-line to waver, even ever so slightly, in response to your logical, honest case and your emotional plea. While this would probably work out as expected in the society of normal human beings, the Narcissist isn't a normal human being. They are closer to a monster, a psychopath (indeed, some of them are legitimately sociopathic!), than your average Joe. There's no point in making your case, there's no point in standing up for yourself and defending your cause in their presence - they'll jump all over you like kids in an inflatable bouncy castle! Start back-peddling, begin to reach a 'compromise', or react to a feeling of guilt, and they'll pounce. Your defensiveness is their gain; once you start making concessions or you panic and get 'defensive', they'll go in for the kill. Don't get defensive - let them accuse you of what they will. There's a reason the Bible calls Satan "The Accuser". Let the Divine defend you - just don't try it yourself!
is for "Explain". Are you starting to see a pattern here? Anytime you try to appeal to a Narcissist, you will lose. Monsters don't care if you're hurting (in fact, they like it!). They don't want to hear your case, they won't agree with it no matter what you say, and the more information you give them, the more ammunition they have to throw back in your face. And I wouldn't even say that - not all of their attacks are face-to-face: we're talking proximity mines, IED's, flying monkeys that serve (in this analogy) as 'suicide bombers'. All the ammo here will generally be harvested from your carefully-worded, thoughtful explanations. "I" statements, arguably the most useful conversation skill anyone could ever master, are completely lost on them. They don't care about anything, and your deliberate, thoughtful explanations to get them to understand and accept your position are only going to end up hurting you later in the form of figurative incendiary devices. They probably already know your position, so don't bother trying to explain it - they'll never, ever accept it, out of principle. Even if you're 100% right and they know it, they will not accept it. Save your breath and provide them no new ammunition in the war."

How to Make Cabbage Rolls

I'm making cabbage rolls for dinner. I'm out of onions but hope they will still turn out. In my cabbage rolls, I use ground turkey and some cinnamon and crushed tomatoes on the outside. A friend bought me a big broasting pan that has improved my cooking life. No more buying those flimsy metal containers for the Thanksgiving turkey. I bake mine in the oven too for two hours.