Oversharing in this Crazy Covid World is a Danger!

 

From "Suffering is my Hobby" on Facebook.

 I can't be around people I have to walk on eggshells around all the time. Every time I open my mouth even for the most mild things, it's smack down time. Outside of my husband, I'm in a life where I am not free to me.

I was on Facebook earlier, and I put up some post about Bill Gates, it was about how he is backing a scientific experiment to block the sun with dust [reported in Forbes magazine by the way]

https://www.forbes.com/sites/arielcohen/2021/01/11/bill-gates-backed-climate-solution-gains-traction-but-concerns-linger/?sh=4877314a793b

Can imagine what that will do to my asthma....Didn't Mr. Burns on The Simpsons get this idea first?

One person who believes narrative got upset at me for criticizing Bill Gates, I wrote her and told her read RFK's book "The Real Anthony Fauci" to learn more about Bill Gates. She told me RFK is a "conspiracy theorist, and told me "Be careful at what you are getting yourself pulled into".

I can't talk to these people even about basics, and the most mild thing seems to be a problem. On Zooms at these groups, I've smiled a plastic grin on my face as they blame people like me for every problem on earth, and help the powers that be dismantle all Western freedoms we took for granted. I can't do it anymore.  I took the post down. 

Light ostracization already has begun in one group. I faced facts I feared being around them, should my status ever be found out. What if I showed up finally in person and they caught Covid and then blamed me? Many people around here are not the live and let live types, they hound you about your private medical choices. I'm cool with being on a "no need to know basis", just letting people be. However around here, full conformity is expected, mask wearing won't help you either, you have to be ALL IN.

No one understood or had empathy for my immense medical pressures. I have gone more deaf during the time of Covid. This has been a difficult backdrop, this loss, and well in dystopian world, there's no one to care about your more "minor" problems. 

I'm realizing yet again, I am around the "wrong" people. I wasted 5 years trying to "connect" only to fail and be turned into "the enemy" from things beyond my control. I liked these people a lot for years, and enjoyed my time around them. Covid is ruining my relationships with them, not just from the social distancing but from other things that are happening.

In an instant I was divided and made the "other".  It is ironic some liberals pride themselves on being so tolerant, so accepting and warn about discriminating against others, but it's empty words. This is bullying. Where you are deemed "unacceptable". They scare me too, seeming all gung-ho for WWIII to break out too. I guess now we will have pestilence and war. In too many privileged worlds, Covid didn't stop the long distant vacations, concerts and life. In mine it did. 

Inside I feel "afraid" of them. The book The Gift of Fear warns you if you have emotions like this, to pay attention to them. Am I paranoid to think they could even be a danger to me? These were former acquaintances in liberal groups I liked and got on with. Inside I feel afraid. Does anyone understand what I am talking about? 

I am far far far far less outspoken in real life than online so when I say, the retribution for mild statements is what is happening I mean it. Can you imagine if I told them what I thought the vaxxes they already took are going to do? By the way it has been proven now the vaxxes are integrating into the human genome. Those of us who warned this was an invasion of the human genome were CORRECT.
See below:

https://twitter.com/Parsifaler/status/1497303352484548608

@JikkyKjj WHY THE F*KC DIDN'T PEOPLE LISTEN TO MYSELF AND THOUSANDS OF OTHERS! MY WORST FEARS COFIRMED.

PEER REVIEWED.

FEYESER WRITES ITSELF INTO YOUR DNA JUST LIKE HIV! W.T.F.

https://twitter.com/JLegalt/status/1497333043568136194

https://old.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/t1fg6h/worst_fears_realized_pfizer_mrna_integrates_into/

I am not talking about this stuff in real life. I have to lock it down more. I have to stay safe.  My husband told me I need to be more careful of what I say to people but then also was apologetic saying he didn't want to repress me. Are some of you walking on eggshells like this? We are living in times where it's dangerous now to TALK to people. Does anyone feel it? It's like you have to fit on one side or the other. 

It is scary to be in a life where you can't talk to anyone openly. It reminds me of life with my family. I would rather be alone than deal with people like this. I have to put more energy into making decisions about my life. It scares me in trying to do positive things with my life and get out in the community that things have become this broken and messed up. Did I just waste 5 years? At least some activity based groups I visit on Zoom are still okay. 

 One friend told me too, these wealthier liberals and academics got to the higher echelons by following all the rules, they don't like independent thinkers when it gets right down to it. Some people online told me, they felt forced to move from areas like I am living in to get happier lives. I'm not sure what I am going to do. Something is really wrong. I don't feel the same about a lot anymore. Is leaving my liberal circles for conservative ones the solution? Should I pack up and move to a "red state"? I was IN  conservative circles as a fundamentalist Christian already. You all know how that worked out. Why is everyone turning so authoritarian now on both sides? I guess I am screwed because I piss everyone off. 

There are too many "wrong people" I overshared with. I've gotten to the point where I'm scared to open my mouth in real life. Caution needs exercised on Facebook. I'll post art work from time to time and that will be it and talk to friends on messages and private groups there. I hope for anyone that they have people they can talk to who don't treat them this way. 

I still question things on the "right wing" though even if I agree with some freedom principles, I'm not going to go vote for Trump in other words. I sometimes get worried how the virus is seen as "harmless"  among parts of the right wing, why can't they accept both vaxx and virus can be harmful since both deliver spike proteins? I don't trust Joe Rogan and pals to bring all the solutions either. Even if I agree with them on mandates, what's going to happen to a USA that goes ultra-right wing?

I'm having difficulty with my PTSD lately, every time I go to a grocery store, or feel an allergic tinge in my ear or snot in my nose, I get scared I have caught it. It's caused tears and more. My panic attacks are out of control. Sometimes lately feel like I can barely think. One side tells me, I am foolish to worry, one side thinks it's my fault for not making their same medical choices. I feared getting it and dying and being made an example of. My family if they learned of my would be death would say, "She got what she deserved, she was crazy anyway." Even in apocalypse, I'm supposed to be positive and focused on achievements. I wear KN95 masks still and make people wear them in my apt including 2 friends who visit on occasion. Most right wingers would call me a nut who got suckered into the plandemic. So to say I can leave one side for the other isn't going to work either.

Lise wrote a good article exploring all the sides here. 

The Narcissistic Nation: What side are you on in the Covid War over Masks and Vaccines? Black and White Thinking and Confirmation Bias About Rights During the Pandemic.

She wrote this and I agree. I think both the vaxx and virus are dangerous in my case.

"The one thing I notice too, is that the against-the-vaccination "side" is studying and reading about mRNA, and how safe and dangerous the vaccinations are (and not reading much about the disease of Covid) and the for-the-vaccinations side is studying a lot more about the disease of Covid and not much about what is in the vaccinations. One side is blind to what the disease is doing to their fellow human beings (or they down-play it as some sort of a survivable flu and that their countrymen are babies for making a big deal out of it), and the other side is blind to the "novelty" and the possible long term damages of the vaccine (or they down-play it as like every other vaccine that has been introduced and that their countrymen are like babies for not getting jabbed). "

As I have said, I believe both virus and vaxx are dangerous. This whole problem has been so politicized we got a giant mess on our hands. I remain ultra-concerned how they have censored and downplayed serious serious side effects from the Covid vaxxes. That said, why is the "right" side so intent on claiming the pandemic is OVER and that Covid is harmless? I've been posting some scientists on Twitter who have warned that more variants are coming and that Covid itself is bringing real harm. Some of these scientists reject the vaxxes too. 

When people are afraid to talk to each other, and I am in a life where I can't safely talk to others, we got a bad problem on our hands. Reality is going to fall through the middle here you see. 

The Modern Left Has Turned Fascist for Covid Oppression

 

Caveat for this one when I use the word liberal here, it is for the "modern left, DNC, neoliberals, I do not consider these people "liberals" in the classic sense of the word. 

Life among "liberals" has grown scary for me. What does the mainstream left in America represent anymore but slavish ass-kissing devotion to Pfizer and pals? I worry about dangers from the right but at least some of the right wing still seems to support some bodily autonomy. These globalist lovers and sold out types are pissing away all the human rights and freedoms established in Western Civilization. 

How many of us are uncomfortable around people now? Afraid to say the wrong thing? Everyone can feel it in the air. I've talked to a few who have been petrified to open up to me. That's life under the Stasi and is not what America used to be. And none of these people care!

Deconversion took me into liberal world. Seeing what they support has horrified me. Feelings of fear arise around people who support full blown tyranny. One must walk on eggshells around them lest you say the wrong thing and get blacklisted, or labeled crazy. I'm already facing light ostracization in life for the very little I've exposed in real life. I am far more outspoken online than in real life for safety reasons. Think about that one a little bit, living in America, I have to worry about my safety and well-being for having the "wrong political opinions". Well, the Canadians who got their banks accounts frozen for sending 20 dollar donations to the trucker convoy are definitely feeling that even more.

In the old days, real liberals would have been outraged at people having their money taken away for opinions but in crazy world this is now deemed acceptable. These present day neofascist neoliberals support every juggernaut of the elite. I guess civil liberties are just for those who think the "right thoughts".

How many of us are walking on eggshells around people? What does it mean when you feel afraid of many of your friends and acquaintances, and they trouble you inside? What does it mean when you think thoughts like "You better not let too many know your real opinions or your vax status."  None of these so called liberals care that freedom of speech has been suppressed. We are moving into totalitarianism. When you are afraid to speak your truth fearing for your own safety in a community that means something. Americans took for freedom of speech for granted. These neo-liberals don't support it.

This whole thing has worked via censoring people and to go with the "cancel culture" is the push to "cancel", "erase", silence and sequester everyone who speaks out against what is happening. I wrote this to a pro-narrative doctor on Twitter who supports all dissenting doctors from the mainstream narrative having their licenses taken away. Think about the insanity of that, just to question means you are to be punished. Patient care and survival is put last! At least some are trying. 


 

What does the "left" in America stand for anymore? Medical apartheid? Medical dictatorship? Everyone thrown out to the wolves jobless and more for refusing health destroying vaxxes that don't even work and don't prevent it from being spread?  The "modern left" in America definitely hates the working class and sees them as "deplorables". The poor, minorities and disabled are just to be thrown under the bus. Trust the experts, trust the mega-rich people, trust the ones who profit from all this they tell us. They are insane.

They see people who just want to be left alone to live their lives in peace as a threat.  They push open segregation. They promote censorship to keep Fauci's and Pfizer's gospel as the only one. They refused to push for treatments like IVM or other or traditional vaccines that would work. They lick the boots now of giant corporations. They promote gene therapy that kills children and teens via myocarditis, and life long side effects that are unknown. They want people's jobs taken away and thus their lives for not obeying. They want to outlaw peaceful protests and support violence against them such as with the trucker convoy.  Examine this, what good are any of them doing for us? The mainstream medicos have failed to beat Covid. The PCR tests muddy the issues. Everyone is confused, they want us to be. It's not stopping. They have no plan. There's no end road.  Let's boil it down, none of their shit is working. They have failed and are failing now. 
 

I don't like either team, but what am I to think of people who want to force me to get a shot that would kill me in my case? Who don't believe in leaving people to live in peace? Who hate bodily autonomy? Who think it's okay to force an obviously failing clot shot on people that has out and out killed people and IS NOT WORKING? My horror and disgust have reached new heights. Every person who has opposed me on here, just tells me, take your damn shot, and shut up. They don't care if I die. They don't care if your kid gets myocarditis. They don't care that every repeated booster is a new spin of the roulette wheel. None of them demanded better from our failed establishments. None of them demanded safer vaccines or investment in treatments. None of them told Biden to hold off from war mongering as we got bigger problems on our hands. The "modern left" doesn't care about anti-war initiatives or peace either. That's one thing I'm noticing, none of the pro-Covid narrative supporters have said no to war with Russia.

My disrespect has grown for those who are against the truckers fight for freedom and against mandates. Truckers sit in a truck alone most of the day, there's no logic here.  I support the trucker battle for freedom. Well Trudeau being a WEF member sent his goons in to break up and commit violence against a peaceful demonstration. People don't want their jobs taken away, they want to stay alive! They don't want blood clots. Let them do their jobs. It is disgusting how they have been treated.

Canada is now a dictatorship. America could follow the same way, only plenty of pissed off people on the right and the second amendment has kept us from falling into the same place. The main reason the Supreme Court ended mandates for workers demanded by Biden, is they didn't want the country to crack apart and they knew it would.  In Ottawa, the only violence came from police, who barged in and ran over people with their horses, smashing windows. One disabled woman on a walker was pushed over and trampled by a horse. Hmm almost a metaphor for the disabled and elderly they have destroyed via all this, not caring about our rights, not caring about our health. 

I get scared of lies from the right too, the truckers could be scapegoated and used to collapse supply chains, we could end up with dominionism or problems from the right I've warned about. The failures of the "modern left" definitely means worse is coming.   I don't like Trump, Trump was part of this hell too, creating Operation Warp Speed. Why are the majority of fellow "liberals" embracing tyranny, governmental overreach and evil? It is heart breaking.

So many groups I am associated with, the people are all pro-vaxx. It hurt to be "othered" and banned from people's parties and gatherings for being "unvaccinated". I didn't plan to go, but plenty made that rule. Here I was put in a horrible position, stay silent or paint a bullseye on my back. The "modern left" is doing this to people in general. Taking the vaxx is the modern version of Mao's struggle sessions. You either submit or you're out.  Even a regional group banned all unvaxxed. None of them care about severe medical problems involved in one's decision either. It is not safe to share my personal decisions and medical details, I shouldn't have to, but look at these people demanding to know everyone elses!

I am already pulling away from so many. I don't understand nor relate to them. Their experience of this pandemic also widened a chasm between us. They didn't seem so bothered by it. My emotions about it had no place. I've noticed that with the majority of my Facebook friends, who are mostly "liberals", and who support all this. 

 They had financial resources to go on long distant vacations and have breaks from the Soviet like grey repressed life in our blue state. They could seek sunshine and happiness. They had close knit friends and family and careers that did not bring the same isolation to their lives. A lot of upper middle class and above people seemed to not be bothered so much about the pandemic, while for those like me most of the fun, spontaneous joy, happiness and time with people was all erased away. No one seemed to understand how I was experiencing it. It was constant invalidation. 

It concerns me I have three choices. I can submit and join the Borg and most likely die of vaxx side effects, and spiritually and otherwise die inside with all integrity lost--obviously this is a decision I am NOT going to make. I can live a non-life isolated away for the rest of the few years I have left--thank goodness for my marriage but I am having severe effects both mental and physical from the isolation. The third choice is I can live my life despite the dangers, find new people [I have a few] I can be safe around in being "me" and who do not support this tyranny and take the risks of getting and dying from Covid. Every choice has a price. It is disgusting that people have even been forced into all these Faustian deals. My husband is scared, heck I am scared for him. The pressure of all this is beating us down. He has told me to wait, but I can't live like this forever. There's only so many years of life left for me. Even the COPD is progressive.

As I have stated before, so many of the most ardent Covid disciples aren't suffering. They don't understand my pain. They took vacations to lovely areas where they could see normalcy and happiness.  They aren't living a life like the children in Flowers in the Attic. They could escape. They had large homes to move around in with space, not a a few little rooms that grew around them like a prison cell. They had yards to walk around in not shrinking away in parks always too full of people. They seem to almost find a passion and meaning in the mess I found disturbing. Almost like they wanted to prove how obedient they were, how impassioned at spreading the gospel of Fauci.

 Some seem to be cosplaying like they are stars in a World War II novel, trying to prove how brave and how stalwart they are. No one is crying like me. No one is angry in this group of people. My distance grew. I used to think inside, "Come on tell me you are upset over this, like I am" They simply wouldn't. I always found the people in this town to be weird.

The elite seemed hellbent on their forever pandemic and vaxxes program. This isn't going to be over from what I can tell any time soon. If Omicron doesn't "end" it and they produce another variant or another one comes out or they lie about one, I can see another "lockdown" happening. They will of course scapegoat the truckers and everyone else against this. They don't care if you wear masks or have been hidden away. All the "unvaxxed" and freedom supporters are their scapegoats for what they have done to us!

On one online deconversion group I am part of, there was someone who said, that authoritarian groups of any kind are not going to work for me. This explains my divide from the left. They are a fellow antiauthoritarian who is consistent in their views. Let's boil this down too, the authoritarianism of the left now sickens me. Come on, I left fundamentalist Christianity over this issue, the authoritarianism. The whole "comply" or die/go to hell bullshit!

This person is right. I can't tolerate being told who and what to believe. I'm someone who walked from my entire family. I don't tolerate or accept this and neither can I pretend to despite the prices I will pay. 

This is a place where my own integrity haunts me. I read an article by a fellow autistic once where they wrote some people with autism do pay a price in standing up for what is right and putting that first over compliance and conformity to a group. This is getting to be a life theme for me.

I believe people are being killed and children hurt by the vaxxes, and I am horrified. Watching liberals excuse blood clots, myocarditis and other insanity has me wanting to get out puke pails. There's even a commenter here who walked because I broke the liberal mold. This guy seemed to like me and my blog but because I didn't want to die of a clot shot, I became a non-person to him. If you don't comply, you are thrown away.

Imagine what it feels like, a church member brings you flowers at home and demands to know if you have gotten vaccinated or not. You sit there sputtering a bit, but then relent and say "NO, I have major health problems."  My health problems are visible including huge dark patches on my arms from dermamyotosis, and forehead sores. Anyone can tell I am not lying. My Meniere's has worsened and I've gone into more extreme deafness, I am now incapable of holding a conversation with people without a transcribe phone. And this person shrinks away from me, acts like I am "diseased" and gets angry. I only told 4, and that was too many and usually happened when directly confronted. 

I had a few episodes where fellow liberals would visit me and then who complained about the unvaccinated but I did not want them to know my status, and said nothing. The other day at one group, this one lady had a relative die of Covid and proclaimed it was their fault for not getting the vaccination. I sat there in cringing silence, hoping the expression on my face on Zoom did not reveal too much. It is all heart breaking to me. I could let all this go on the premise everyone has their own medical decisions to make and that's what I did, but as the crack downs and insanity worsen, I find myself thinking, "I need to have people in my life who will have my back."

The "liberals" I know are acting so much in concert, I am creeped out by the utter conformity. You can't question even the most mild thing without complete outrage. Remember I wear the masks in my case, but in their book I'm a crazy Qanon for not accepting it all. You can't talk about your fears or worries or your emotions. If not for a few decent friends who see through the matrix with me, I think I would have gone insane. Being around people that make me feel this way has been almost as bad as the pandemic itself.

They parrot MSM talking points, Fauci, and even state things that make no sense. I am afraid of Covid too, but they just offer nothing answers that have failed over and over. That's another thing that bothers me, all these people expecting stiff upper lip bravery while sociopaths destroy our lives, our health both from vaxxes and gain of function, our economy and more. What is there to look forward to? From what I can tell they have no answers to STOP it all. There's still no treatments that work being offered, no allowing of IVM and Zinc and HCQ or other things that could work. They are removing the monoclonal antibodies. I still ask why the gain of function sociopaths have not been arrested yet. 

They want to name everyone who questions the "official narrative" as a "domestic terrorist". I have spoken out online, and know one day they could drag me off even for what I have written here and on Twitter. I've lost friends already over this blog, but don't share it with everyone in my life. The fact they now have the "modern left" signed onto the NDAA war that started with 9-11 sickens me. None of these people understand how the NDAA removed our constitutional freedoms and means that more people can find themselves thrown away into a black box prison. I'm speaking out for now. We need people who do, but it comes with anxiety. Very few are listening. 

 Democracy in Canada and the United States is falling, and most liberals don't care. They are busy navel gazing blathering on about climate justice, when I realize that's just a pathway to forcing carbon credits on poor people so the elites can still keep their private jets but say goodbye to air conditioning and having to pay taxes over driving more than 10 miles. They don't care that the shots are harming people. Everyone I have seen whose had health problems or people die or other disabling things are censored, hidden away and silenced.

 I find myself yawning when they go on about BLM. No one cares about the black people who are being segregated from society for refusing to become part of a government experiment for good reason. Some scientists are warning Covid is worsening, and it's going to wipe everyone out. All I got to say about that is if Omicron is not the end of it, lean over and kiss any future normal life goodbye as they either release more variants on us, or more are produced by the leaky vaxxes. Maybe the variants are a "lie" too, I don't know but if something worse comes after Omicron and you start knowing more people who have died of Covid, the future is going to be very dark. 

Let's boil this down, they have failed to stop it and are only doubling down on their "failed solutions". The right failed us telling everyone it was a hoax at the start and helping it to be spread, the left is failing us now. The experts, politicians and more have failed. I'm just an average human trying to figure things out. All I know is that freedom haters of any stripe should be stood against. The present "modern left's position against freedom are disgusting.

 I yawn double hearing about voter's rights, I believe in them, but what is there to vote for anymore when every election is rigged and they just put WEF flunkies in anyway? Do these people care about our lives? My answer is no. To the elite we are just fodder.  We are in the middle of being genocided from two sides, and the "left" is asleep. They smile like the dog in the burning room. They have turned too many people into potted plants who refuse to ask any questions who want to help them oppress us all.

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