Monday, May 22, 2017

The Price of an Evangelical Christian Soul

The Price of the Evangelical Soul


 invited Jesus into their hearts, but when the rubber met the narrow road they evicted him and took the cash. 

you cannot serve both God and money—he just probably thought he’d do better in the Bible Belt this year.

cost, is that the Church itself, though winning this political battle has lost the greater war for its humanity and its dignity.

America Needs a New Labor Movement

Why Worker's Won't Unite

"So far, though, the fraught future of labor in the U.S. has notably failed to generate public protest on a significant scale. Nothing in American politics compares with the civil-rights crusade, the movement against the Vietnam War, or the labor wars of the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Could that change? Might the future possibly hold a resurgence of the indignation about class disparities—and about the labor and economic circumstances they reflect—that was once focused on the workplace?

Today, the labor movement’s decline is widely considered an irreversible reality—the inevitable outcome of globalization and automation, and the norm for a postindustrial economy, hardly worthy of comment. When discussions turn to the glaring and still growing imbalance of power between working-class and elite interests in our political system, Republicans celebrate the free market and certainly don’t invoke a return of unions. But neither do most Democrats. Why this is so, why it’s a problem, and what if anything might be done to revive the politics of work—these issues are the subject of two very different books: the historian Steve Fraser’s The Age of Acquiescence and Only One Thing Can Save Us, by Thomas Geoghegan, a longtime labor attorney."

This is because both parties, are for the wealthy and sold off to the mega-corporations. The Democrat party has already forsaken the working class and below and even with Hillary's loss, I do not see any changes. I have seen a few bloggers and others speak of a "new progressive" movement or the "alt-left" but they seem to be just on the fringes. The wealthy are running both, and they don't want the workers to unite. It seems to me people who are poor or working class in America, are so divided via race and other divisions, and so beaten down, and fearful of their survival, that worker's rights are being basically stripped away. The "free market" is a joke. There's no such thing as that unicorn in this world, freedom for the most rich who can buy their way out of rules and regulations. One thing I worry about is that expectations have sunk so low, that most have subscribed to the "dog eat dog" ethos, I see this all the time on Facebook where the hatred for the poor has grown. They got working class people more busy beating up on the "deadbeats" on welfare and disability--notice how Trump has focused on the most vulnerable in society rather then wondering why their wages haven't gone up in 20 years.

One can see the REGRESSION when it comes to the work world. There's no bright future. They cling to the ideals of the 19th century and wish to strip away the hard won rights of the 20th. I hope young people especially millennials wake up before it is too late. Sadly too many subscribe to Social Darwinism for the new American Hunger Games.

In Defense of Needy People

This video is great in that it sees the problem not with the "needy" person but those around them who are angered by emotions and need for attachment. Many ACONs can struggle with being needy. It was a bigger problem for me in my 20s,secure love and marriage helped to curtail the needs of loneliness and my desire to seek connection. I can still struggle now wishing that socially I had been more successful, but when people lack love in their background, neediness can arise. Human beings have social needs that must be met.We are not islands. American culture is dysfunctional in that it expects people to operate solely alone.

Monday, May 15, 2017

The Surprisingly Mysterious Life of Famed Artist Bob Ross

Family Scapegoating Article

I found these articles interesting, it is from a Christian website against abuse:

Family Scapegoating Part 1

"The chances of a family scapegoat escaping are slim and usually do not occur until a person reaches their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s. And, when a victim does, indeed, escape and boundaries go up, the family is viciously angry. The victim continues to be the scapegoat and the family further bonds with each other in their hatred for the victim. But, he or she is no longer available to accuse. Accusations are slung in other, less direct capacities (blog posts, letters to friends, letters to the workplace). However, after a while, as the victim is no longer bothered by this, they cease. More attacks may come up later but, all in all, with “no contact” from the victim, things get better. The family of origin, however, begins bickering, back-biting, gossiping and dramatizing within their own cesspool of hatred and they, eventually, find another scapegoat! And the cycle begins again.
So, what often happens is, a man or woman leaves an abusive marriage, pursues divorce (enormous amount of bravery required here) and the family of origin begins to (for lack of a better term) freak out. They are afraid that their secrets will be revealed as they watch the strength of their former victim blossoming. Their grip on the victim’s emotions becomes tighter than ever. The victim is laying on the floor, trying to rise and the dysfunctional family stands on his or her neck. They  make a healthy relationship impossible (unless the victim is willing to place his- or herself under their control) so the victim begins to set up healthy boundaries. The family of origin then claims “abandonment”. Mud-slinging begins. And the victim is left shattered in pieces . . . completely dazed and frantic as he or she tries to make sense of the world that has gone crazy in a few short weeks.
She was always the scapegoat; and she will continue to be. The only hope for her is to escape, go “no contact”, and learn how to become all that God intended her to be in Him. This is no easy feat and takes a lot of time"

Deathly Allergic to Seafood? Let's go to Red Lobster!

I had this adult memory return I haven't thought about in years. I forget why the family was eating out with my brother's ex wife and family but this was around 18 years ago when they were still married. I am deathly allergic to seafood. I have not eaten shrimp, or shellfish in 25 plus years. I could eat fish into the 1990s but that ended really quick. My mother wanted everyone to go to Red Lobster, I remember protesting, saying "I am allergic to seafood" but everyone ignored me. They always did what she told them. I was even scared of breathing in seafood fumes from the kitchen, with shrimp and lobster and getting an asthma attack. I loaded up with Benadryl to go. The person I am today, I now think, "What in the hell were you thinking?" I would not enter a Red Lobster today, I probably would die just smelling the shellfish in the air. My boundaries were so low. As time passed, and I got more ill, I had to draw boundaries to preserve my health, and life. Only a narcissist would get someone who is deathly allergic to seafood to go to Red Lobster where there was barely anything on the menu they could eat.

700 Calorie Carrot Cake?

Does Posting Calorie Counts Change Ordering Habits?

Most fat people have calories memorized, after years of dieting and weight gain paranoia. I swear I can guess every food on the dot. I even ordered one meal at a recent restaurant that had a calorie count on it, but it did not surprise or shock me and was around the amount I would have guessed. I do wonder if people will forgo donuts and lattes and more "external" foods. I always drink coffee with a little bit of creamer in it, and never one of those lattes knowing it can blast through 500 calories and a giant sugar-rush. Diabetes is a constant calorie and carb count a thon anyhow. If I eat 2 hours too late near 9 or 10 at night, it will mean 20 more points. Too many carbs like eating something like fried rice with vegetables and some meat is higher on the carbs. It's a constant science project. If I saw a 700 calorie carrot cake, I would not order it, thinking, "Oh yeah that's equal to one whole meal" or a third of calories for the day, or more. Forget that!" 

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Take Care of Yourself Today

Treat yourself on this non-holiday day.  I may go down to a local beach today and enjoy some time outside.  I plan to finish a painting today and mail it off soon, and have a lot of others things to get done after I post here. I've been cooking a lot lately and made some vegetable curry and chicken yesterday. Take care of yourselves and remember the above. :)

Monday, May 8, 2017

Zine Fest!

                               Poster display at the zine fest
The other day, a friend drove us to a big city zine fest. It was a nice day trip. I am still recovering physically but it was worth it. I bought some zines, and there were hundreds of booths, I was like a kid in the candy store. My favorite zines are ones with comics and ones that write about personal lives.

We had a couple work shops and a zine reading room. We made buttons at one and another workshop showed printing techniques. It was fun to see the variety of zines, art work,comics and more. I got a cookbook zine,personal life zines, and ones with comics. I took my 140 page zine comic I finally had got shrunk down and photocopied and showed it to one cartoonist whose work I recognized, and he had good things to say about it. I have decided to "old school" this comic, the technicalities of computer art techniques are difficult for me, but since it is 140 pages long, I have to figure out how to divide in into volumes and plan to include some writing with the art. My husband took a few copies of a zine he has made that has some of my art work in it, and passed a few out.

 It was nice to see a variety of ages at the zine fest, and it was a crowd I felt comfortable and happy with. The freedom of zines and self publishing, and time away from screens is growing popular out there!

Here's a couple of zines I got....

Peep at a Political Meeting

Well they are still trying to push that horrible Trumpcare through. If my husband is up to it, I plan to go to our Tuesday protest. There are many independents against Trump, so don't make mistake thinking everyone has "joined the other side". I'll go to whatever "side" I think is "right"on individual issues. The Republican attack on health care personally frightens me. I need the level of medical care I get right now. Having it taken away would be a tragedy.  I have stayed "Stable"and that is a good thing. It is hard won, with a house call doctor, I now get on with quite well, and medications that yes are too expensive,but keep me alive and breathing.

 One lung medicine changed my life for better, no more severe bronchitis, I believe this drug even allowed my heart to grow stronger and less under strain too. Other people are scared and petrified. While ACA was NOT perfect, and I know it cost too much to working class and middle class people and had too many insurance middlemen, taking the rug from underneath people is evil. Of course single payer which would be the best bet, is cried against as "socialism". Fox news has sheep dipped many into worshipping Capitalism and thinking the "Christian" way is to go let people die who cannot afford healthcare. So I'll be protesting again and wearing a button I made that says "Healthcare is a right."

I went to a local political meeting that had some regional representatives, mostly state reps. It was a forum on aging and disability issues. I didn't vote for any there. They were all Republicans. One was from a small town south of us, and was more moderate and supported my ideas on health care, but one thing I noticed is how out of touch some of these Republicans were. They kept talking about all the unfilled jobs out there and this idea that poor people don't want to work. I thought "What jobs?" Later I and my husband talked about this and I said, "Even that has become a lie, they are posting jobs all over that are going unfilled. The idea that there are all these jobs out there is crazy when we know all these unemployed people." There is that Republican blind spot where they do not realize most on welfare are working.  Some higher social classes have no inkling how the majority live. This bothered me but I kept quiet, and kind of regret it but I was saving my fire for a more important question.

I said to them, "What is the state plan if Trumpcare is passed and seniors and disabled can no longer attain care?" I also then said, "Why does the Republican party seem to have it out for the disabled and elderly where we are the first on the chopping block,and there's always more money for war?" I got a few shocked faces, and the more moderate representative responded to me, telling me he believed health care was a right, so that eased the tensions.Later I did say "Disabled and seniors are frightened, and have every reason to be."

One lady brought up the fact that many people are afraid of sliding through the cracks, and fear losing health care. She also pointed out that home health care workers are severely underpaid and the politicians in the room did accept that fact. Most agreed that would turn into a serious problem.My state has a 7,000 long waiting list, for care programs that will keep people out of the nursing home. That seems counterproductive as having someone in nursing home care will cost a lot more then having them at home. I have signed all the petitions I can in defense of the disabled and against Trumpcare.

There was one guy there who represented the office of local federal politician who has been in support of Trumpcare recently. I noticed his reactions at my question and others when Trumpcare got brought up. He nervously laughed.That federal politician has ignored the calls for town meetings and more. We used to run into him in town, but I get the feeling with all the protests and more, he's probably hiding out. I read he didn't attend an annual parade he usually is at.  Probably to avoid all the booing.

This country is losing it's heart and the orange faced sociopath is leading the way. For some of us, this is our life.

The Republican Party Scares Me

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

A Young Woman Who Had Her Lipedema Caught Early

She's at stage 1. I am glad young people are finding out about this disorder at an early age before it disfigures them or takes them into the higher stages. Liposuction for Lipedema is considered new, from what I can tell it works better on lower stage patients. It is not a viable solution for me,though if I won the Lotto who knows, but my dangers of infection would be very high. I don't like them using the 11 percent number. Some women may have mild Lipedema in higher numbers but high stage people it is considered a "rare fat disorder".Hopefully now people will be diagnosed sooner and won't end up losing their mobility or at very high weights like me anymore.

May Art and Photo

Done with them ALL

I'm finally done with them ALL.  Don't make the mistake of trying to win a few family members to yourself or getting down in the pit of trying to win them over. 

I put the last on restricted status on Facebook. I spent too long trying to "win" a few stragglers to my side. It was a waste of time. Even ACON's who go no contact from abusers and are a few years in, can make that mistake of thinking, "Maybe I can get this nicer relative to see my side of things," So you try and are nice and think thoughts like, "Let's focus on positive things" but then you realize the betrayals are still there. The disrespect is still there. It's more subtle but it is there. 

I tried to hang around and "win" a few over away from the narcissists. I wanted to have a few family members left in the world.  It failed.They will always do what they are told by the narcissist even if they tell you to the contrary. They do not care. Even trying to hold on to relationships with the cousins, hurt me. They still were visiting my abusers. They all kissed the butt of my abusers and those people came FIRST.

This means from Queen Spider, I have no family left. NOONE. All nieces and nephews were turned against me. They all chose to believe her smear campaigns. I hate my "role" in the family and have rejected it and even the most extended relative never failed to remind me, so I am finished with the ENTIRE LOT.

I wasted the few years after the initial no contact trying to "win" a "few" people over after going NC with the majority. Scapegoats are never validated. They will not give a crap about your causes, art work,or who you are, they will only see you as the narcs do. Even with "nice" ones be careful, too many people are sheep and they love to bootlick narcs. My Uncle narc got really chummy with all the cousins. You may have hopes and dreams of recovered relationships or keeping that niece or cousin in your life, but in my case it ended up being a pile of dung. I just got hurt again.

Some of us will get to that place and inner strength of realizing all the "trying" is for naught. The whole family system is poison, we have to accept that this is a group of people we were not loved and cherished in and nothing we do or say is going to change that. This can go out to the extended relatives too.

Many ACONs face this, where they think they can "save" or "recover" a few relationships in the family. We are a few years into no contact and that is going well, but we have false thoughts, about recovering a few family members and think "Well maybe I won't have to cut everyone off, that's a bit harsh isn't it?" 

The narcissists move in, they don't leave one thread or person untouched. Even the most extended relatives will be used as report tellers, and grilled for information, they will keep secrets for the narcissists and always betray you. You may note too among the "nicer" extended people, there are things that bother you, how every time you tell them anything you are "wrong" or "too emotional" or how you feel on edge around them all. Validation is rare or you must always be on your "best behavior". Some families are so narcissist riddled, that if you expose one or two narcissists, there's another to pop up in place, and they will lie too. I faced facts that Aunt Denial was just as poisonous as my mother with her specialty of "concerned trolling" and crocodile tears to be far more advanced. I went no contact with her three and a half years ago along with my mother but my cousins were being very influenced by her and her husband, Uncle Narcissist. They visited each other several times a year.

We get dreams of potentially viable relationships. I had it with one niece who I was emailing for a while, and who refused to befriend me on Facebook and treated me as though I was poison. I tried so hard to reach out and loved and cared for her, so this one hurt me a lot. I realized however I was not going to win over the messages or control of her parents and walked away peacefully. I thought I could keep my cousins in my life on a very low contact basis and maybe later visit and reconnect but I noticed how often they were visiting Uncle Narcissist and even making sure I was not invited to family events my mother and sister were not at. They followed all the directions of the narcissists, and the flow of communication within the family remained narcissist driven. To be frank, if someone has any connection with a narcissist, you have gone no contact with, in most of the cases the relationship will not be to rescued. It didn't escape my notice how lovingly they spoke of my mother. One cousin would admit my mother was "toxic to you" but that's all I got, past that he saw her as a nice woman, and me as the "problem" and that "she was just the way she was".

Don't waste a few years spinning your wheels like me. Ditch all who have treated you with disrespect and who have chosen the narcissists over you.  They are betrayers already not to defend or stand up for you and the constant litany of trying to correct the endless narcissist's lies grows old. Younger members of the family may be less culpable, but they are in the fog and have been given a picture of you via the narcissists as well. Escape the trap of seeking love and validation.

 I know even three and half years in, I still struggle,like I am pulling myself out of a mudbog. I know I have walked away from so many people. I went no contact with my brother a year ago and still do not regret it.  I dealt with one of the most severe sociopaths out there, where every word was manipulation. Four decades of abuse is a lot to overcome. There is so much to fix.  With the ended friendships, having no family, it has been worth it, but there has been a lot of pain. Inside I ask myself continously "How did it go so bad?" I have been disappointed and betrayed so often. I can't do it anymore and I am not. 

Facing the fact of how I was seen and treated was very difficult. It bothers me that I had so many unhealthy relationships in my life where the main message was that I was "not good enough" and was surrounded by so many people who told me I must be fixed to be acceptable. I realize now the immensity of what I was denied. I believe if I had not entered into a loving marriage, where there was true acceptance and love, I would have been destroyed. What these people did to me is that bad.

To heal one must seek out people who do love you and accept you. I have a few. But I know at this time in life, I am no longer going to "TRY" to "WIN" anyone over. Once that begins, you have already LOST the relationship and there was never a real one to begin with.