Friday, June 9, 2017

My Posts to Ollie Matthews Regarding His Support of Trump

It's no surprise he's losing subscribers.  People are having some cognitive dissonance, me included over his avid support of narcissist Trump.

I have many friends who don't like Trump and some are independents like me. I ask myself "How could someone not see through Trump?" It does bother me. I think Ollie is sincere, but I used to make my own internet visits in the alt-right world until I figured out most of Zero Hedge seemed to have every conversation steered by a bunch of astro-turfers. They shut up anyone who talked about how hard it was to make a living today or questioned the prison industrial system.

On boards like those, I noticed there was real denial about the economic life I lived in and a total hatred for any disabled people, we were all called mooches who should just go die. My being disabled set me apart from this world in an instant.

The alt-right world would make some true charges about Hillary Clinton and the mind prison of political correctness but their racism which grew by the years, was nauseating from the start.

Remember I wrote that article questioning why the left pushes the idea of white supremacy and believe it causes more racism, but that doesn't excuse the blatant racism on the right, so many of those websites seemed to love Charles Murray theories about other races and poor whites, that they all  supposedly have "lower IQs" [google "The Bell Curve" and "Coming Apart: The State of White America"] and that is why they have failed to "win" in the cut-throat capitalist world. There is manipulation and EVIL on both sides and it is spiritual. 

Unfriending someone over differences in politics isn't good, since I hate both parties this would mean a lot more social problems but Ollie's support of Trump is odd to me. Trump is so obviously narcissistic in what he says, his facial expressions and more, how can someone not see it? This is not a man who worked his way up from the trenches but was born with a silver spoon in his mouth from his father who was a real estate mogul.

Could our experiences as ACONs influence our politics as adults? I wondered aloud if Ollie, faced some die-hard narc Democrats growing up? I dealt with the hard core Tea Party set who called me a loser and hated the disabled,  but then I also had some Democrat narc relatives angry about me being a Christian and questioning political correctness.  Politics has grown more confusing by the minute too, with them steering every demographic into their "place",  will I have to do "hold my nose" votes for a party I can't stand, just due to sheer survival? The Republican party is clear about their beliefs, that my life as a disabled person is wortheless to them.

Ollie is not religious from what I can tell, so why does he support the politician that is in with the Dominionists and religious right. With my time in independent fundamentalist baptist churches, this is a world I know well.  Trump is in with all sorts of hardcore religious right groups, ones I never could stand because of their support for the police state and rejection of civil liberties.

I know trying to change someone's political mind often can be a waste of time, but I left a few comments on Ollie's videos. One thing with his coming out so stridently for Trump, some other ACONs have questioned this too, why can't you see that this man is a narcissist?

Sometimes political fleas can crop up. Do some fall into the "might makes right" philosophies due to narcissistic abuse? Do some want to honor the "strong man" who teaches less empathy where "winning is everything? All good questions. Being disabled in this economic and political climate is very frightening from my end of things. [Sorry for misspellings in posts below, I had posted them quickly]

Here's an article for you Ollie,please read it. This guy is like me and knows the left scammed us too:

"You're spot on with narcissism Ollie, so I won't stop watching due to disagreements politically, but please research Trump more. Alex Jones is a shill, and the alt-right just another scam to get the working class and others in America to bow before the bankers and billionaires who own both sides, Koch equals Soros, etc.The Republican party is in with the crazies including the Dominionists and it's growing worse. Yeah the Democrat party sucks too and Hillary is a crook, but so are the rest of them on the other side. It sucks to realize the whole system is a put on and I know it's easier to "choose a side" but they are ALL betraying us. 

Trump didn't do anyway with NAFTA, he appointed 5 Goldman Sachs people same as Hillary would and Obama did, both parties support the Plan For a New American Century wars---next up Iran, and any country without a centralized bank tied into the globalist system. 4.8 billion spent on Middle Eastern wars instead of USA infrastructure and Trump is doing nothing to stop that either. 

Donald Drumpf sold himself as a populist to the economically oppressed and people sick of the Democrat's focus on identity politics and ignoring of economic realities, the betrayal is already in. I didn't vote for him but how someone can't see the betrayal Trump is part of, is mind boggling to me. Hey I know it's easier to believe one side "is for us" but they BOTH SUCK."

I responded to another commenter here:

I hope Ollie is open to discussion, I have been a little worried over some of my comments, and I am no defender of Clinton and pals being ignored.:/ Sometimes it is disappointing to see so many people become excuse makers for the system. Maybe Ollie has extreme narc Democrats he dealt with, but I had extreme Narc Tea Partiers who told me everyone who didn't make money were "losers" and told me to go into the gutter because I was disabled.I have to admit I am very disappointed in Ollie's political views. I have studied politics as a hobby, and well, many do not see through the entire theatre show. Hasn't Ollie even seen a website online that has spoken of the "new world order" and no I don't mean owned and controlled conspiracy stuff [9-11 was an inside job], but knowing how the system really works.

There are surface differences but the flight path for more consolidation of wealth for the ultra elite, stronger police state, endless wars to centralize banks, and tyranny remain the same. There's a reason Clinton and Bush golfed together. Trump went to Clinton weddings. It's SHOWTIME to fool you and me. I sometimes wish Ollie, could go a bit deeper and understand how the system works.

The fix was put in for the chess-pieces to be reshuffled by the elite, this is why the timing for Brexit and Trump came together all at once. Just like Clinton had Podesta and her spirit cookers, Trumps put on the shows too.

I do wish that alt-right people figured out they are being scammed too, taught to blame other races, and the "disabled" who they call "parasites" in service to the elite, people voting for their own demise. There will be NOTHING replacing the social safety net the Republicans hope to remove and people will die. Republicans are as much hypocrites as Democrats, refusing to address problems with the job market, and how people are hired and fired and our dropping wages. 

There are people on both sides, who know we are being scammed. The Democratic party betrayed the working class. Trump is betraying the working class and poor. I'm not going to choose a side, they both suck. The elite use the Machivallian crap like with that frog getting people to blame other races instead of realizing who the real culprits to all the oppression are.


Update: I wrote this prior to my deconversion, now I am most likely to vote for the most progressive candidates in the Democratic party. My concerns about neo-liberalism and all the kowtowing to the Republican party and betrayals of the working class and poor remain but I realized how they were able to use the people that rejected both parties to bring in the extreme wing of the Republican party.  I find myself surprised that people still support Trump even now.


  1. I have acquired a lot of useful information from his video's. But if you couldn't tell trump was a braying Jack ass up front. That makes me leery of anything you might say after that. I used to ask my mother about old family history and try to shore the myths up with the truth of what really happened waaaay back. I thought I was learning things about how we were back in the old days. But once I found out she was a stinking liar it cast a shadow of doubt on every thing she ever said. Things that might have been true. Catching her in an obvious lie made me realize all of her truth's were suspect.

    1. I have liked his videos for years and gotten a lot of good information too. I don't get this, why protest the oppression of narcissists and then defend the OPPRESSION of TRUMP? I am giving benefit of the doubt for now, we all have our blind spots. LOL I posted a bunch today, but don't want to argue about it too long and have it go nowhere. So much of politics is lies now, making heads and tails of anything is tough, I certainly will understand a big of confusion, but to look at Trump and not see the narcissism shown so nakedly, how can he miss that? It's hard for me to understand. I know I am a more "conspiracy" minded person, but yeah it does make me more leery. Maybe I've studied too many weird conspiracy things where information is so manipulated. My Aspie mind probably goes some strange places, but how on earth could someone support Trump who knows about NPD?

      I know admitting the system on both sides is broken is a hard step for many to make. I 'get it", I sometimes wish I could ignore reality and have "hope" in one side, I just follow the rule to stand up for what is right by individual case and issue, it is all I can do.

  2. I'm with you on this: scratching my head about Ollie's inability to see the narcissism in our present political leader. Grrumph...

    1. lise,

      welcome to the blog. I liked your recent article on sociopaths. Check out this article
      I wrote thanks. With Ollie, I am totally confused. Trump is like the caricature of a narcissist. Thanks.

  3. I'd never listened to Ollie before but after reading these comments about how great his non Trump vids were, I went and ended up listening to a phone conversation he had with his mother. WOW. I figured it was going to make me depressed but she is so over the top crazy that it was very helpful to listen to. Actually her shrieking and constant contradicting of herself made me laugh, in a positive way. Even while it reminded me of the insane shrieking of my own father. Also I have to say, your blog is a kind of political education for me, I always have to go look terms up you use like Zero Hedge and astroturfer and end up learning a lot. I'm curious if you liked Bernie who now I'm sorry I didn't vote for - but if you don't want to get into Bernie here on the blog, never mind - I totally get that!

    1. Yeah thats the notorious video, I always wished I had gotten Queen Spider on tape, but one party recordings aren't legal here. She definitely is over the top, no doubt of that. I remember laughing at some parts. His brother or father showing up on his channel with the weird name Bunny Rabbit is a bit much. Thanks, I have studied politics for a hobby though I am kind of on a break now from current events. I used to read all the Trumpkin websites, and read the other sides too. There's a lot of crazy stuff going on. Bernie would have been perferable,I don't agree with him on everything, hated that he went to the Vatican but all of them make those rounds, but at least he seemed to have a few ideas that went beyond just pushing everyone into severe poverty. I know life would be a lot better being a disabled person with Bernie as president instead. And you know I am not a typical leftist, but yeah, he is the only one who deviated from the enriching the 1 percent formula. HIllary I believe did steal the election from him, they got so many built in lies super delegates....ugh....I believe our presidents are selected not elected as I told Ollie, and well Bernie they never were going to give a chance to.

  4. I remember Ollie dealt with nasty child custody battles with his narc parents and ex-wife. Maybe these people supported Clinton or claimed they are liberal Democrats. Ollie is an ACON who is dealing with issues as we do. His naive support of Trump is an example of his fleas or PTSD.

    1. Yeah as you see in the above, I questioned that. For some definitely having a narc family impose one political view could put in a flea that definitely rebounds.

  5. Ollie's stated in glowing terms a brief but impressive encounter he had with Trump when he worked for Macy's and that is the unshakable lens he sees present day Trump through — for him to believe otherwise would, I think, reflect a personal failure to him and he has proven to lash out and do ANYTHING to avoid that. Take that for what it's worth. I've found his channel to be very validating when I needed validation but (maybe because I've changed) I feel he also comes off very narcissistic, charismatic, ultra defensive, makes a lot of excuses and looks you in the eye to make sure you're buying them and doesn't appear to follow much if any of his own (often very good) advice. This "Dear Ollie" shtick of his seems to have turned a once sympathetic character into a professional victim, pumped up by a steady supply of swooning worship from a core contingency of his subscribers whom he threatens with abrasive political commentary should they dare short him this entitlement. I couldn't care less about his politics but I'm absolutely fascinated as well as horrified to observe a victim of narcissistic abuse choose to become an enabler of it and participant in it rather than recover from it — if only to reveal the pitfalls for me to recognize and avoid in my own recovery. And all under the guise of helping others. Our gut instinct tells us what this is — the hardest part is making our mind believe it, to make sense of the senseless.

    1. Wow I never knew he met him at Macy's but I haven't been able to watch every Ollie video,just have time for some here and there. I don't understand people who don't reasess viewpoints, I am in one of those places of re-examination.

      Why do people avoid that like the plague? Ollie helped me a lot too, so I still watch but I wonder about "fleas" making him so gung-ho for Trump. Of course I have those conspiracy minded stuff on the edges of my mind, that flit around where I wonder why so many teach status quo things who acquire any real followings. :(

      What got me is he follows the kek, red pill/real Donald/Infowars brainwashthons with no stepping back to think about things. I know I am one of those weirdos who questions both sides, trust me that is not comfortable but I know which side is out to destroy the disabled. I probably would refrain from calling him a professional victim, though I wonder about the place his making his main money from his channel is affecting his healing.

      I still plan to write about narcissism some, I just had a horrible falling out with a friend of 30 years that defending my narc family, but even I realize I have to figure out some new directions for life, which is hard to do when so disabled, but I wonder about the extreme political commentary. What is Trump doing for someone like Ollie? Ollie's has had more stable employment then my household, probably a few notches up, but I find it strange that a fellow Gen X is bowing before a trickle down supply economics has-been who is so obviously a narcissist and liar and conniver. I had relatives in New Jersey, and it's strange, most New Yorkers and New Jeresy folks are familiar with the REAL DONALD TRUMP, crushing business juggernaut who was deep into selling gambling and screwing people over.

      It seems if one is going to escape narcissism, that means escaping narcissism and evil in one's self, when one becomes a willing sychophant for the evil, that doesn't speak well of their recovery. By the way being in the IFB, independent fundamentalist baptist, I was more then familiar with the alt-right, my churches in rural areas, lived and breathed the alt right, some were main stream Republicans but many were not. I even in the early days liked some of the defenses of libertarian civil rights and questioning government control while eschewing their war loving and police state-eugenics loving garbage, yes both comingle believe it or not but I realized it was just more lies for control and oppression. How he doesn't see this baffles me. I even have written him very clear posts as explained here he chose to ignore. Trump actually makes me so sick, I avoid watching him on TV and want as little to do with him as possible.

      There is major conflict in two of Ollie's messages, that between calling out the Baby Boomers and his defense of their [well for the conservative ones] last political "trickle-down Hurrah" Conflicts bother me, it's the Aspie in me. Also if you had two narc parents something I and Ollie have in common, why would you kneel before the "strong man" as a willing slave? I just don't get it. I am the type to question whoever is in power and hate slavish political devotion in general.

    2. I'm sorry you lost an old friend to the lies of your family — I think too many of us can relate to that feeling.

      I would say not to overthink Ollie's on-screen behavior. When someone tells you who they are, believe them. On immigrants his loudly stated position is "walls not bridges"; generalizes all Muslims as terrorists; very defensive about being labeled sexist; scapegoats entire industries (press) and groups (baby boomers, people with mental disorders, employers who won't hire middle-aged men) to blame for his problems; and the Kek crap he identifies with is basically candy coated neo-fascism from what I can tell which his stated beliefs closely align with. He brags about his sexual prowess; about how he doesn't consider any other sources on narcissism because no one is more expert than he; claims to be completely open (and presumably honest) but regularly deletes videos (that make him look bad?); threatens to send his more ardent followers (flying monkeys?) to attack his enemies (anyone who he feels criticized by); and I can't remember him ever sincerely admitting fault or changing his mind about anything — at best, he rationalizes, twists, makes excuses for inconsistent behavior he's called out on.

      All this isn't to say that Ollie isn't a victim (the evidence is there for all to hear) or that his advice isn't valid. He is and some of it is. I also consider Sam Vaknin's perspective who is a diagnosed NPD, according to him. Narcissism is characterized as a defense mechanism that, if unchecked, consumes and takes the place of the person. Not all victims of narcissistic abuse become narcissists but all narcissists are victims. Recovering ACONs tend to be hyper-vigilant about fleas in their own behavior; recognize fleas and seek to correct themselves when the behaviors are called out. But Ollie flaunts these behaviors as virtues. "I am who I am," he repeats. And so he is. Even if that isn't what people assumed he was before the real him, like many other people I know, became emboldened by Trump's ascension to let the mask fall.

      Ollie was clearly a man in distress when I discovered his channel whom my heart went out to and whose perspectives I took some solace in for myself. But he was diminished then. It elicited sympathy (mine and many others') until now, supplied enough to at least manage the appearance of being fully supplied as a cult of personality, when he's demanding higher grade supply in the form of ideological devotion and financial support (two things he appears to receive from his wife; I watched him criticize the "unbelievable entitlement" of one of his subscribers who refused him on both counts). This has the dual benefits of removing dissenters and galvanizing dependably obedient core supporters. Since we only know the parts of Ollie's story he decides to share with us and given this emerging pattern of behavior, I think it's entirely probable that he tried to employ a similar strategy before either of us knew of him and it blew up in his face — as these things often do.

      Again, trust your instincts. If something feels off, it is. We may want to believe that the unflinching Trump support is where Ollie's off because it turns us off but I think we probably deceived ourselves about who he was all along and that unsettling notion that calls our very judge of character into question is the discomfort we recoil in horror from. And that's worth exploring, I think.

    3. Thanks regarding the friend, her lack of empathy was hard to take. There's been problems all along. I have to avoid people who treated me the same as my mother. I may write about that issue soon. How I was led to certain relationships via narcissists.

      I agree about not overthinking things, I agree about those who tell you who they are. I have written that maybe immigration should be limited mostly because of employment issues for Americans, but the Republican party has gone into sheer hate and it's just more of the usual scapegoating. Trump would outsource labor on his companies so it was just more of the same hypocrisy. The wall is so stupid, I will puke if they actually end up building it.

      I don't like the red pill attitudes, they are getting a bit out there. Some men did get treated unfairly by family courts but joining the "we hate women" contingent, is sick. With Baby Boomers, you know I have written about them too, but even I am trying to realize even there they want the generational divides for control. They can get the elderly death panels humming using the outrage of the younger generations. Like him, I certainly faced severe abuse from Baby Boomer parents who treated me like a piece of crap while they threw their financial success in my face but this should not translate into Hate every Baby Boomer, some one got upset on me on this board for that, I don't mind people disagreeing with me, they DID GET ME TO THINK. I know I have to be careful when describing economic differences, not to make it personal, aka all Baby Boomers are arch enemies and I think Ollie has taken it to that place.
      I do know age discrimination is happening because of what happened to my husband, but why would someone then embrace a party that gives all the power to employers and wipes it away from the employees? It makes no damn sense to me.

      The Kek crap pisses me off. I HATE IT. It is some weird crap. I find it fascist. Notice the frog is always flying bombers?

      The Cult of Kek, also known as the Church of Kek, is a satirical religion based around the worship of the ancient Egyptian deity Kek[4] (also spelled Kuk or Keku), an androgynous God of darkness and chaos who is often depicted as a frog or frog-headed man in male form or a snake-headed woman in female form. On 4chan, the character Pepe the Frog is often considered a modern avatar of the diety, who uses ancient Egyptian meme magic to influence the world, often by fulfilling the wishes of posts that end in repeating numbers. Additionally, the deity is associated with the popular 4chan slang term “Kek”, and is often embraced by supporters of 2016 Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump. Practitioners are known to frequently write “praise Kek,” and jokingly refer to the church as a “religion of peace.”

      This is some weird crap:

      I don't even get it. If Ollie hangs out on 4chan, that would explain a lot.LOL

    4. Ollie is almost becoming a stereotype of the alt-right "angry white male". If he has bragged about his sexual prowess, that would concern me, but those kind of attitudes are rife in the red pill world. I explored too many weird areas of the internet, there are alt right websites for men [think red pill stuff] where they rank women according to number and encourage men to be seducers, so I can tell where he got those attitudes from. He has drank the alt-right Kool-Aid and then some then.

      I know a lot about the Mens right movement,because we had an extremist in the movement on one of my Aspie boards for years. He didn't know what to make of me,but he REALLY hated women, and I found his blog and read the men's rights blog and they were disgusting. I guess the elites really want to turn people into a bunch of sociopaths who don't even see women as human beings.

      His viewpoints concern me.

      I agree he really is a victim and it does not take away from the good work he has done on videos etc.
      One thing I have written on here, is that some ACONs do follow in their parents foot steps, the less severe may have fleas to contend with while others, may follow the examples they were given. I know this far too well from having two siblings I believe have gone far into the narcissistic end of being.

      I certainly have worried about my own fleas and have wondered about being raised by two sociopaths influenced my own empathy or ability to show it.
      People who never examine themselves, or their beliefs, concern me. I think that is not a good sign. And from what you tell me about Ollie, that is a trait, and I saw it for myself when he ignored my comments. Some may say he is playing a character for his channel, people decide on a public view to display, but why the politics then, they are not necessary to be deemed an expert on narcissism and definitely detract from this for at least half the population. His extreme politics actually work against his narcissism business for half the population. To be frank, I am kind of creeped out by ANY ACON, no matter what political party identifying so much with the wealthy and powerful, because after all for most ACONs, the powerful have oppressed us lifelong, when one wants to become one of the POWERFUL, doesn't this kind of convey, they want to become one of the narcissists?

    5. He seems to have changed to me too. In the early years and I was there at the start of the channel, he seemed like a more vulnerable and caring person, there seems to have been some hardness that has grown. Maybe this is from the pain of going through what he has as an ACON and being cut off from his daughter. Certainly all of us ACONs face that danger, I had the temptations even with me to harden up and "not be such a sucker" and start being more of a "bitch" to manage in life but I have the conscience that says, "Do not become like them" and "Seek after Goodness and Love" which whatever my religious journey takes me I hope I adhere to both of those things.

      How do I put this but I think selling your recovery can be counterproductive. It makes me wonder about those who would desire to do so. Posting anonymously on a blog is different then being out and public, as the "expert" on narcissism. Being an interactive expert is different too then writing a book or zine or one memoir that is frozen in time. One thing I wondered about him, since we are dealing with people who have faced extreme and severe abuse, does he ever worry about giving people bad advice that may not work in their situation?

      Here I tell my own story and give advice based on my experiences, but I wonder at the pressures of being a public figure who 'sells' their advice, maybe his intentions were all good and positive, he came across as vulnerable and caring certainly in the earlier days, but now, I think things have taken a turn too just like you.

      Maybe he became this character to be more impervious,but maybe this was who he was all along? I worry about that too.

      It makes me question who he is too really and who he may have been from the beginning. Extremist politics can tell us who a person is certainly if vulnerability, kindness and even empathy are shut down for the sake of someone's world view.

    6. Ollie has said that people shouldn't try to contact him via the comments for his videos because he doesn't read them; however, again, this is not true. He probably noticed your comments but unless they offer him an opportunity for better supply (for instance, another fascist looking to open a dialog with him) or injure (shame) him then he won't respond. It's why that Bunny Rabbit character (allegedly his father) trolling him doesn't bother trying to hide themselves or their intentions anymore than Ollie, himself, does — because they know what buttons to push to receive a reward. The only time Ollie ever responded to a comment I made was in the context of a discussion with others (not even to him) regarding the topic you and I are discussing here, where he issued a veiled threat posting "openly gaslighting me is never a good idea. Especially on my own channel." before deleting the video all this was taking place under and following up with a video wherein he explains he deleted the previous video because it was receiving too many hits and throwing off his stats somehow while learing at the camera, unblinkingly nodding as though we should just agree with this ridiculous excuse. He does have striking eyes and I get the impression he's learned a lot of people are convinced by these looks of his.

      I don't think he's recovering because he believes he's already recovered and, in a narcissistic sense, that's true. I notice myself and other ACONs seeking recovery begin where Ollie began: wounded, vulnerable, grasping for anything that might help. Then, as we begin to receive support (validation) and information we get angry that we were violated, betrayed. We go no contact with our abusers, physically detach. As our strength continues to grow, we gain with it perspective. We see our role in the destructive dynamic that left us hurt, broken and we are empowered to self-validate, self-care and change the dynamic by changing ourselves. In doing so we gradually emotionally detach from thoughts about our abusers and move on to wherever's next for us in life. Even narcissistic abuse survivors who choose to become life coaches or licensed therapists to help others encourage healing more or less in this way.

      But Ollie remains angry with a huge, ugly chip on his shoulder and it's toxic. I notice a lot of his returning contributors he reads from and offers advice to also appear to remain hurt and angry, as though the validation he provides them also gives them an excuse to remain so (shifting responsibility to their abusers) rather than to encourage and empower them to be able to help themselves. And, in turn, their contributions validate Ollie's hurt and anger, but at a cost that exhausts him. He is still fulfilling his familiar, designated role as scapegoat by making himself an emotional dumping ground for others. The only difference is now he's doing it for money. As such, I don't believe he helps people so much as he enables them. A lot of us mistake enabling for support and the more narcissistic of us seek only to be enabled.

      Ollie isn't a licensed therapist of any sort (and therefore not bound by those codes of ethics), makes no claims to be and I think if his advice ever went sour for someone that this would be his argument, blaming that person for ever believing he was something he never claimed to be or trusting him in the first place or accusing them of improperly following his advice in some way. It really is the responsibility of people to do due diligence.

    7. As far as Ollie's politics, his claims come off conservative but appears content to let someone else support him, advises contributors to seek government assistance and, since his wife was laid off from her job, appears to complain that the social safety net for the unemployed in Florida doesn't give enough. Duplicity like this tends to indicate a lack of character and could explain attraction to authoritarian strongmen (Trump). Perhaps this Kek business offers some semblance of structure he's otherwise lacking? It's the only thing resembling a personal philosophy I've ever seen him mention. All I know is that I see a lot of neo-fascists (nazis) associated with this Kek thing and Ollie's stated beliefs more or less line up with that sort of perspective. And whether he's pretending or not (I don't think he is) is irrelevant when people take him seriously (and they do). I don't happen to agree with his politics but he has no more power than I do so arguing with him would be a waste of effort better spent on influencing those who do wield more power than I, in my opinion.

      I just find someone interesting who calls out narcissism in their words while endorsing it with their deeds — it's an opportunity to test new insights. I've been looking around for others' reactions which is how I happened upon your blog entry here. Among them, Ollie's politics bewilder and offend many as well. Those who share his politics use his describing Trump as confident, not narcissistic, as though it were expert opinion. But this is America where they're free (and I defend their right) to be wrong as narcissism offers a fairly accurate and simple predictive model for the president's seemingly erratic behavior.

      Ollie is telling us who (and what) he is and not to try to change him — we just have to believe and learn to accept it.

    8. Taraccas, guess I am going to respond to this very late, sometimes I see a comment and then forget to respond even when I approved it especially for an older article. I wonder if he saw my comments about Trump. I did change after writing this article since my Christian deconversion and leaving fundamentalism. I do vote for Democrat candidates now though I am still upset with the DNC's sell out to neoliberalism and economic blindness with the neoliberals and try to vote for the most progressive candidates possible.

      I was not happy about being ignored. I still find the PRESENT support of Trump worrisome as Trump has worsened and gave tax give aways to the ultra rich and I don't know why this has not woken up Ollie.
      LOL about striking eyes. He does have some charisma. He has attracted a huge following.

      I wrote below my worries about ACON pressures and taking on people's problems, and problems with transference. I do see some good in his videos don't get me wrong I used to post them here, but I stopped as some concerns and the political divide came to my attention. ACONS can be very vulnerable, see what I wrote below, in trying to seek answers in this life, we want someone to give us answers, or "fix it all" Many of us have to accept there will be no "fixing" of lives and bad situations that cannot be undone and have to figure out how to move on with life as it is, not life as we want it to be. Yes we go through the steps you outlined. Some of these steps can take years, as some of us are working through literally decades of abuse, and dealing with hoovering and other games. If an ACON goes into counseling or a licensed field, they would have to face their own issues, in terms of being cautious with their clients, and not bring their issues into the counseling room. I think for an ACON that one would have to be very mindful of these risks.
      I can understand the anger, p4erhaps I even have some myself, but I understand what you are warning about....we don't want to invalidate the feelings of anger that are natural to an ACON and righteous, but then I worry about the anger. I had strange thoughts about Ollie, his way of making a living, is related to reliving his pain over and over again. If you need to pay the rent this way there's a bit more pressure. yes I write on ACON issues here, but I can go weeks and weeks without doing so, if I choose.

      With the anger, I am in the stage where I am trying to move on to the "rest of life" and figuring out how to make this happen. I have had some major hooverings too, the family is realizing I am "gone" now for "good". I ignore it and still get feelings of 'fear" but that's far more controlled now. I don't want to live the rest of my life in misery. I'm trying to now to figure out a "reset", I am an older woman and there's not much time left, I want to spend the rest of it as happy as I can be. I think being the narcissist "expert" outside of a licensed counseling arena where you are taking on the problems of others, could be very painful and troubling. Some people were mean to me, saying I was too angry, I expect ACONS to be angry, the anger gets you out, but even with myself I have had to figure out a new path in this life. I am kind of crawling up the banks of the river, grabbing onto the weeds to get out of the muck seeing the light ahead. He's getting dragged into the muck over and over and over and over.

      You sum things up well here:

      "He is still fulfilling his familiar, designated role as scapegoat by making himself an emotional dumping ground for others. The only difference is now he's doing it for money."

      See below what I wrote about those who have all the answers and my own experiences with Mrs. Curses who sold herself as having all the answers.

    9. Yeah if things went sour I see that happening too. It's a lot of responsibility to take on. Today he has even posted some video having difficulties with some type of troubled female client. I haven't kept up all his videos--I know his mother recently died-- so don't know what is exactly going on. People do have to be careful of advice givers online. With ACONs, learning proper boundaries, is not easy. It has been a trip for me especially with the involvement of Aspergers. Desperate ACONs want answers and want someone to give them answers in this life. It's one reason I got sucked into false fundamentalist religion. Healing comes in realizing trying to find answers outside yourself screws you over and leads you

      I do see contradictions in his conservative philosophies too. His girlfriend is the main bread winner [as far as I can tell], he has to realize many of his clients who have scapegoat resultant health problems and mental health problems need government assistance, so his support of politicians who want to wipe all that help away is even more noxious.
      I didn't know the girlfriend or wife had lost her job. I find it contradictory but then you see very poor whites, like the people in my old rural town with a 37 percent poverty rate, and many live far under my level even [shacks, no decent apt, or medical care] and they support politicians and policies where they will be squashed.
      He may desire the structure of it all, maybe he has a community related to it or a pseduo online one. There are a lot of neo-fasicsts into the kek stuff.

      I do think it is a shame, how much can you really be against narcissism if you support narcissistic and sociopathic societal structures and figures like Trump?
      I get the feeling he probably did lose some people as the politics were focused on. It troubles me he mixes the Trump stuff with advertising for new "clients", there's such a built in cognitive dissonance there, He loves big daddy trump who can do no wrong, and is a narc to the hilt but wants people abused by narcissists to come forward.

  6. I can tell you exactly who Ollie is.I ended up setting up an appt. to do a private phone call with him yesterday and it ended with me crying uncontrollably.I have been in a relationship with a covert narc for 6 yrs and was curious to get Ollie's take on his behaviors as I had some audio for him to listen to. I never got to play the audio as he started asking me questions about me and my family, and the covert narc, which I answered every question and was very honest.He seemed irritated when I would start giving pertinent additional details to the questions he asked. He cut me off several times and wouldn't let me finish what I was saying and got snippy with me and said:"okay, okay..I got it,I got it! He then proceeded to berate me and told me I was a bad mother,spoiled,that I was a narcissist,that my situation had nothing to do with narcisstic abuse and I was the real problem,said I had no issues with my dad but that my mother was toxic and I needed to remove her from my life,told me I was not a good person and that I really didn't want to be a mother.He also proceeded to tell me that I put all my value in my pussy and that I cared more about letting men fuck me up the ass than I cared about my children.He came to this conclusion only after I told him that I became rebellious about the age of 16 and was angry and didn't know why.I told him that I thought if I had sex with a guy that he would then like me.I was just seeking approval and love that I didn't get growing up as my dad passed away from cancer when I was 5.I also told him that the covert narc I was involved with,had an obsession with anal sex and had Googled "pain first time anal sex porn" and that I felt used and like an object when we had sex.I told him I felt like the covert was a misogynist.I said I know I'm a good person but I'm not perfect and have made some bad choices since being involved in this very emotionally abusive relationship but that I wanted to heal my past wounds and become a happier,healthier person, and that I know this is not who I'm supposed to be.

  7. He then told me I was a horrible person because my son was living with my mom and step dad and not me. #1,my son was having issues being bullied at the school in the town where I live and wanted to change schools and go to the one near my mom and step dad. #2,When the covert was living with me,it was advised by my counselor that my son go stay with my mom and step dad until I could get the covert to move out as he had begun to not be very nice to my son,shortly after our daughter was born. My son really loves the school he's at now and says he doesn't want to go back to the school near where I live. My mom and I live about 15-20 min from each of our towns in a very rural area with no neighbors. My son doesn't really want to live at either place and wants to live in town but prefers the school that's near my mom. Ollie just kept berating,belittling and mocking me saying "You keep saying I know,I know,I know,but you aren't doing a fucking thing about it!" You just keep making excuses,do you think that's what a good mother would do?"Fuck no that's why you are a bad mother!" I told him that I took full responsibility for the mistakes I have made but that doesn't make me a bad or horrible person and that I was willing to fix and heal myself so I can get better. He then says:"what are you doing about it?" You keep telling me you know and you don't like the situation you are in but you are still there.I said:"and that's why I'm so angry and confused with myself because logically,I know I need to get out of this toxic relationship but I feel like my feet are stuck to one of those mouse traps with the really sticky glue.I told him that I did not like who I had become and didn't recognize myself anymore.He also harped on me about me losing my job I had been at for 6 years. I explained I was a hard worker and had not one time been written up or received a negative evaluation.I said this just wasn't like me to do this and he said:

  8. "That's you,that's who you are. "I told him that no,that's not who I was and also that my employer did everything she could to try to help me out as she didn't want to see me lose my job.I was also told by the superintendent,that once I got myself healthy,they would hire me back in a heartbeat.Ollie couldn't understand how I lost my job and I explained to him that my life just started spiraling out of control after finding out the covert had been leading a double life and had been seeing not only me but also was cheating on me with his best friend's wife and another gal as well.I had severe anxiety, insomnia,felt on edge,couldn't concentrate.Ollie said "It sounds to me like you are making excuses and trying to blame the covert for why you lost your job."I said "No, I take full responsibility for losing my job,I am an adult and because I was not being punctual, they had to let me go.But,I said that's what the covert wanted all along,he wanted to wear me down to the point that I would then have to be completely dependent on him and that would give him that much more power and control over me.He again said "You are making excuses and trying to blame the covert.This isn't about narcisstic abuse or your mother,you are the problem.I have to ask myself,who is really the narcissist here? "I said,"You aren't suggesting that I'm a narcissist are you?" He said "Well, it's all about you,you are selfish, you are choosing a man over your son." I said,"You have got to be kidding me..I have empathy and compassion for others,I have the ability to gain insight and recognize what my issues are,I can put myself in others shoes and see things from their perspective,I am able to show remorse and am capable of feeling true love,not a pathological liar, my words and actions match, I'm not cruel or mean,so how does that make me a narcissist? "He says,"Well,not every narcissist is cruel and mean."He then tells me again that I'm "not a good person and a bad mother."

  9. He then said in a cold,condescending voice.."what,do you want me to tell you that you are a good person..because I'm not going to. You are a bad mother!!! "He then hung up on me. As the conversation went on,I kept getting more and more upset and by the end,I was in complete shock. I was a bawling,hysterical mess at this point and completely dumbfounded.I felt like I had been emotionally raped.I couldn't stop crying and couldn't believe what had just happened.Thank goodness that once I calmed down, I was able to recognize what had really happened. He let the mask slip and I saw who he really is..a covert narc.He presents the false self in the videos he posts,but saves his attacks for the unlucky people that set up private phone calls..where he has no audience.His subscribers are his flying monkeys and will come to his defense dare anyone criticize him or call him out on his bullshit.What he was doing was projecting all of his bad/negative feelings about himself onto me.I did a Google search on him and found on several comments that people had made about them having similar interactions with him and that he was actually a covert narcissist himself and was a con man that left his wife and daughter to be with his current, younger wife and does not see his daughter nor pay child support. They said he was very abusive to his current wife and that he was conning innocent people that were looking for help,out of their hard earned money.A couple of the people that commented knew him personally and felt like he should be in jail for what he has done.It all made sense to me after reading those comments that when he told me,you are a bad mother,you are not a good person,you are a narcissist,you put all your value in your pussy..he should have actually been saying to himself..I am a bad father,I am not a good person,I am a narcissist,I am a pussy,a coward,a bully.I am telling you I witnessed who this person really is first hand and it was downright scary.

  10. I was second guessing myself and beginning to believe that I was crazy and something was wrong with me but after speaking to a couple people,they validated my feelings and agreed what this person said to me was so atrocious and ludicrous and completely untrue and uncalled for.He was getting a thrill out of seeing how his words were affecting me so greatly.I was his supply for the day. He hated the fact that I had figured out how covert narcissists work and he thought I will wear her down and fuck with her head to the point that she won't know which way is up. Except that it didn't work. I saw him for who he really is. What really scares me are the people that are just discovering what narcissism is and beginning to learn about it,that they may actually believe the garbage that he's feeding them.I wasn't going to comment at first but then I thought,I would hate for someone else to have to be subjected to his abuse and felt it best to share my personal experience.

    1. Wow I didn't know he took private phone calls and those come with a donation right? That seems kind of risky getting involved with the public that way. He's not a licensed therapist. It's terrible he made you cry. I thought he was supposed to stand against narcissists, you know, even the coverts. It's crazy he turned everything on you supposedly, why? I mean you were calling him. Sorry to hear it went so badly. One thing I would suggest is if someone starts being rude to you, hang up faster. It sounds like it ran off the rails pretty fast. He doesn't know you to make those judgments. I hope with your son, you are putting life together to be with him soon. Maybe he thinks you abandoned your son but that doesn't call for saying those things. That is strange he was so hard on you for losing your job. He's had job lay-offs, isn't that why he switched to the narc videos in the first place?
      If you admitted you lost your job from making mistakes and life being out of control why should he harangue you about it? I think he sees you as abandoning the son. That's why he got mad at you and then he saw "red". I think at that point you became the "evil mother" in this mind, and the whole conversation went to hell on that one fine point. I actually think it is a bad idea for him to have private "counseling" or whatnot phone calls with women, what do the therapists call it countertransference? He had no reason to go on the attack like that. I can understand someone sending a child to a better school and place temporarily, I hope things work out for you and your son, but I think a switch was thrown. One thing with ACONS who have gone through severe abuse, I am not sure that is a place to offer counseling to OTHERS, especially in the early years, we are going to have our own blind spots. I think he was entering a danger zone becoming the NARCISSISM GURU to people for himself and for others. He's not a therapist. I have people write me about problems here, but I don't put myself in the place that I have special advice to give them, I just share my experiences and what I have discovered.


    2. I went no contact with my whole family and I don't see myself as having all the answers. I worry about people who DO SEE THEMSELVES as having all the answers. I always wanted to ask him if he feared ever screwing up and giving people bad advice? I wanted to even donate money and get a video with him responding about my family years ago but then I feared a conservative haranguing me over "being fat" or using the place to be a bigot, and decided not to. I also don't believe in gurus anymore, and figure well advice is good, but analyze everything. [I had enough of taking my troubles to Mrs. Curses who made mincemeat of me] Here's some of my advice, LOL take it or leave it, I am not the ACON whisperer either, be careful of taking problems to other people thinking they will have ANSWERS for YOU. Every life is different and complex. I fell into the trap with the deliverance minister thinking I could get answers. That is one very VULNERABLE PLACE where people can be abused, taking problems especially outside of an already formed trust friendship or therapist, and then seeking help. I don't know Ollie's motivations, and or what happened here, but I think it's a place that can bring too much vulnerability. I actually had to train myself to shut up about my problems more in daily life, and actually threw off the burden of feeling like I had to fix everything--my deconversion helped with this, and not seek out so much help from outside sources. I do think many personality disordered people do take on the mantle of gurus, pseudo-counselors and life coaches. Some people may be well meaning. I think Ollie has helped some people too, but there's a danger zone here, if there is any personality disorders or other issues or ones the therapists call counter transference, it can be a mess. I am kind of in shock he is crossing the personal private phone call line if that is true, that he is taking phone calls from people for donations. if anyone wants to call me, I would say NO, I don't know you. LOL

      It sounds like he was having projection day with you. this is a guy whose ex wife severed contact from his daughter, and narc parents took the daughter away so there you have a dozen sore points waiting to happen.

      I think if he said all those things, that they were uncalled for. I have seen him get "too tough" with people on videos and that has worried me. I mean doesn't he realize if he is dealing with ACONS, and people abused by narcs he is dealing with some fragile personalities or people in crisis. I am sorry this happened to you. Yeah I would just stay away. I have read message boards and others full of concerns about him too. When I wrote this piece, for me the acceptance of Trump and gung ho Trump support is connected to lack of empathy. Why support a narcissist who is the ultimate authoritarian if you are supposedly standing against narcs, it worried me. You did not deserve this. I am glad he did not lambast you in a video and this was a private call. I definitely would stay away and not contact him again.

    3. One thing I was thinking about more too with this issue, is here is this guy taking all these people's problems on to respond to. Therapists have therapists to keep them on track. Counseling takes some giving away of yourself, on the professional level. Here too, this worries me about someone who is doing calls, and taking on people's individual troubles. People don't have all the information just being emailed online. I know I could not handle it, taking people's stories and offering them "advice". Getting one's own life together is difficult enough. That's a danger zone too.

    4. I abandoned Ollie last year because he and the environment he was creating through the sorts of people he was attracting was toxic. Among the small number of remaining narcissism-parsing YouTubers I follow, Richard Grannon Spartan Life Coach (and practicing psychologist) is empowering. Also, Sam Vaknin, a diagnosed narcissist. Both are wellsprings of information, acknowledge their own failings and that they're on this journey of recovery themselves. Both recommend others in need of help to reach out to certified therapists and warn against falling for predators masquerading as wounded healers. Another YouTuber I follow is currently promoting a professional mental health service: . I haven't used that service myself but I have been recovering with the help of therapy for several years now. Inquire about EMDR. People like Ollie represent important if difficult life lessons, an example of how the abuse cycle perpetuates itself. All the best to you breaking that cycle, healing and moving forward in the life you want.

    5. I don't support Sam V, too much crazy making there, even if he admits he is a narcissist. With Grannon don't know much about him. I do like Narcissistic Survivor on Youtube, that man seems very KIND. I think he is a good person. I agree about making sure to avoid predators playing the whole wounded healer act. ACONS especially in early years of recovery can be very vulnerable to people who will promise healing but then will use this vulnerability to mess with them, like with me with Catfish and Mrs. Curses.

  11. I just abandoned him too. The red flags always bothered me - his predominantly cynical tone, the fact that he abandoned his daughter and moved like 8 states away from her, smears her mother by name on the internet and then accuses her of parental alienation, won't keep a job, the go-fund-me for the custody lawyer, by his own admission - only paying child support when a tax refund of his gets confiscated by the government and forwarded to his ex-wife, never making any effort to fly up to where his daughter is to see her. But, somehow, I stayed in denial for a couple of years and enjoyed his videos. Now, I totally understand why he's so good at explaining narcissistic behavior - because he is one. I think he's totally become his father - doesn't want to work, so creates a scam to get out of it. I feel so bad for his poor wife. Hope she sees the light and gets away. He's really been off the rails since his mother passed. His channel has attracted lots of toxic people who behave like swarming flying monkeys if you comment in disagreement with him. Did you all see the last bit he did where he basically allowed a histrionic borderline to hijack his channel and defended her when some very logical people started commenting pointing out the glaringly obvious and asking "How are you all not seeing this? Why are we wasting our time here with this attention whore?" That one absolutely backfired on him but he'll never admit it. I think he was trying to get some sort of sick reality show like online therapy thing going. I think being a You Tuber isn't as profitable as it maybe once was and now he's getting desperate.

    1. One thing I never got about him, is his parents actually committed a criminal act against him as he supposedly outlined on some videos, signing his name on a house loan with his permission, and HE HAD THEM, and didn't do anything about it. I just didn't understand that. I always thought why move so far away from the daughter too, maybe he got a job down there in the beginning. I don't get why he doesn't attempt some visitation with the daughter either. Can't afford to travel up there? It confuses me. Isn't it illegal to deny visitation? Why doesn't the daughter ever go visit him? Is there no money for a plane ticket or did the ex-wife get sole custody. the whole thing confuses me. Did he lose total custody where the courts barred him? If not he is neglecting her by not having HER COME VISIT, ie send a plane ticket. Maybe's he's too poor but then I question the moving away thing.

      He seems upset about the daughter, and I know narcissists definitely can stand in the way of fathers, I get that piece but there's something to that story I don't get.

      I also wonder why is he keeping his channel as a main deal as Youtube is having the bottom fall out. Why not get a regular job? I know I don't work and some would say you are one to talk, but if I had a normal body, and could breathe, wasn't housebound or swelling up by sitting up for two hours, I would get get a job. It seems like a very hard way to make a living, having strangers dump their problems on you without any counseling oversight or boundaries even to protect YOURSELF. I got burned to toast by ONE fellow supposed ACON [the cat fish] befriending me and telling me problems, I can't imagine hundreds of them.

      I see narcissism in him too. Fleas can come to us all. I have sat down and cried, thinking my own ability to relate to people may have been permanently damaged, as I burned down all the narc bridges but in him when he defends Sociopathic Trump or goes on these rants, he's playing out too many family dramas. He's acting too much like the parents.

      An ACON in total healing has to UNMAKE the family training. I should write about this sometime. He seems to be following in their footsteps. I enjoyed his videos too but for me the red flags piled up. I saw some of the borderline stuff briefly that was weird. Oh I watched some videos and thought some of these people are taking him for a ride, and he doesn't even see it. This is where the exchange of money really can put you in a compromised position. There was one, I can't remember her name--I was skimming the videos only watching 1 or 2 where she purchased MULTIPLE videos and seemed to demand all his attention and yeah he didn't see it. I hate to say it but if you are going to become the ACON whisperer....that's asking for a heap of trouble, because well SOME become like the parents who raised them. I wonder if he wanted some crazy reality show too. Youtube is falling, I have seen complaints in other arenas how the money hand out was changed so they aren't making good livings like they used to. I feel weird about it, I LIKED a lot of his videos, he had good advice, but he definitely has some problems. I can take and leave whats good or bad, but I even wonder about him making videos dealing with so many problems with the stuff with the daughter not being resolved and the recent death of the narc mother. one thing terrible about this ACON stuff is even if one goes no contact, nothing is "fixed" in the way that any of us can count on resolution in this world. I may write about that soon too. I don't watch nearly as many narcissistic videos as I used to.

    2. I think a clue to he was, is and will probably always be was in his first post, that recorded call from his mother, where he would echo to his wife every awful thing his mother was screaming about his wife. He says he doesn't need help, bristles at the mere mention of it and it's not our responsibility to help him. I think it's important to accept that, instead reflect on what about this person drew us to them in the first place and what, if anything, to do about that. I discovered Ollie at a time when I needed validation, I noted his insights and empathized with his struggle. All valid in spite of him seeming to have been disordered all along and happened to vulnerable for simply having been starved of an adequate supply of attention ... until Trump (a mentor figure) rose to prominence and the number of his followers grew, esp. those who seem to dependent upon him. Now empowered, his true self is revealed. I want nothing to do with it and it stands to reason why employers or his daughter wouldn't either.

    3. Yeah I remember what you are talking about. Reminds me of my brother screaming at his ex-wife. I know I was drawn to him for the information on narcissists, I mean there was some, I empathized with his struggle too. He does seem like he was a different person too in the early years in this videos. He did seem vulnerable back then too. So I know what you mean. He had normal jobs, I find it odd, that someone who is not physically disabled would give up a normal work life, especially one where it seems he made decent money, to have to do the salesman thing on youtube. That sounds a lot higher stress. The Trump thing worries me, Trump has won over a lot of the disaffected incels, red pillers and people who feel disempowered in life, thinking he will be their hero. I do think his family is narcissistic, problem is a lot of narcissists can come out of those families. I feel for the daughter caught up in all this.

    4. I have no means of (nor interest in) verifying anything Ollie posted about his personal life, just his side of the story. I recall him making A LOT of excuses whenever he was called out or things otherwise went poorly for him. That's not helpful. I think if he could make the income he boasted of then he would do that rather than boasting to an audience of strangers online. He seems to have made a choice between being a nobody working under somebody menial jobs that appeared difficult to keep for whatever reason -OR- being somebody online that other people admire, look up to and are willing to give money to for guidance and wisdom. I remember one follower painting portraits of him that she'd send to him. To be made a god of sorts is a powerful temptation for anyone but for someone who was deprived of all these things, who was told he was a piece of shit by those who were supposed to nurture and protect him, it must be irresistible.

    5. I understand, me either, we all have our own lives to deal with. I do remember the odd excuses on some videos. Yeah the going with no job when he said he had good jobs to do this online thing seems weird. Since my own recovery, I don't trust all people who are "too popular", I know that may sound odd. One of my rules to avoid narcissists is to avoid people who are too charismatic. Well us Aspies are invisible to such folks anyhow, but it's a rule in my head.

      But in this society there's a lot of narcissistic traits that draw people in. Oh sure, the whole thing would be tempting to an ACON, attention, popularity, being liked when those things were denied them when they were young. I remember the picture painter too. So strange. One thing he may not realize is "fame" only lasts so long, people move on to the next bigger thing. It's a risky venture to base one's living on.

    6. If something seems off, odds are that it is amiss even if we don't know exactly how yet. And people who are invested in hiding (rather than rooting out) these inconsistencies, to cover them up with normalcy, are bad for us. Ollie is both of these. Even (perhaps especially) when he said he was being transparent and honest, I think it was an exaggeration at best. And he'd figuratively look us in the eyes (at the camera) when he did it, nodding approvingly, confidently, which is what knowingly, unashamed liars do to ensure that we swallow their bullshit. Now, he can't see us (the audience) to receive immediate feedback but does it anyway which suggests to me that this is reflexive, normal behavior for him with a proven track record for working on people — which it does. Many people want/need to be told what to think and how to feel. Obedience simplifies life.

      Where that ultimately leaves Ollie, I think can be approximated from the histories of other cult leaders. Those who interact indirectly or generally with their followers through merchandising, seminars, etc. tend to fare better over all than those who become personally enmeshed with and caught up in the lives of their followers. I think this can be summarized by the punchy adage used by drug dealers: don't get high on your own supply. And it comes down to weak boundaries of which victims of narcissistic abuse often if not universally suffer. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if Ollie again ends up at the same low point in life I happened to first find him at as he pushes the people he depends upon too far and is inevitably abandoned by them. Sam Vaknin describes this very cycle repeatedly destroying his own life several times over.

    7. Yeah sometimes it takes time to figure out things that are off. Actually I believe most scapegoats who were raised in seriously emotionally abusive households, would have a hard time presenting such a confidence persona on video. There's other ACONs I watch but even with narcissistic survivor, one guy I really like there is vulnerability there in his presence, hope I am explaining correctly here. Ollie never seemed hesitant on film. Maybe I judge this too much by myself, but it always made me wonder, didn't he ever get nervous or stage fright? yeah the wide eyed stares can be a marker too, I know what you mean.

      I think too getting too personally enmeshed with your "counselees" where the power dynamic is imbalanced, an ACON can at times make FRIENDS with other people in recovery on an equal level, is a bad idea.

      Yeah "Don't get high on your own supply". Sadly many ACONS as I wrote above are prone to gurus and to follow others, to "change their lives" and "make things right". They go out into the world, FIX IT, and there's an Ollie waiting to do just that, or a Mrs. Curses in my case. I wonder sometimes if he feels oppressed by all those "needy" people, and that may be what happened to other commenter here, he goes off on some of them. He could end up in a bad place. One thing while I still post here on ACON issues, I am working on training myself NOT TO THINK OF THEM. When I get an off week from a hoovering attempt, I know I am probably driving people crazy, bringing up the black box of inquity, aka my family....but I think about some guy, whose got to think of them every minute of the waking day just to make a living. I would go nuts. I did watercolors two hours today and watched Star Trek Voyager among all the medical junk that takes up a lot of hours of my day. But to have ACON stuff brought up HOURS a day, this many years in I would have lost my mind.

    8. ACONs can be and in many cases have become narcissists themselves regardless of their role in the family dynamic. Among other factors, it seems to depend on the coping strategy that the child happens to respond with. I've read NPD described simply as a defense mechanism run amok.

      In my own experience, I felt I had a responsibility to my family and was terrified of letting them down but may have been perceived by siblings as being especially privileged. Contrast that with my middle sibling who was completely neglected, couldn't be bothered to give a damn (because it didn't matter), behaves as though they are absolutely entitled to everything and goes out of their way to show everyone how invulnerable and awesome they must be (and how jealous everyone else must be of them).

      So I think it's very possible Ollie could've been deprived with his brother over-indulged as he describes and come away with the overtly narcissistic response we see.

      If Sam Vaknin is to be believed, Ollie both depends on his followers for supply and resents them for his dependence upon them for said supply. And in many cases, it's probably a symbiotic relationship with followers depending on him (an outside authority) for validation. I imagine it is exhausting but the feeling of power is intoxicating.

      "The Black Box of Iniquity" is a very poetic way to put them. When the thoughts bubble up to the surface, they won't be denied. I've tried. It may be coincidence but EMDR that I mentioned earlier w/my therapist seemed to have the unexpected effect of reducing my painful emotional reactions to the thoughts which is amazing. Makes them easier to deal with and they must be before they can be dismissed. Helps to remember that these thoughts are not actually other people (we can't resolve those) but rather echoes of them in our minds, our own ideas of them and that we can change.

  12. Thanks anon for the posts, but I can't post certain things here, if the discussion goes beyond what can immediately be seen right on videos, then a blog can have problems. I also hope Ollie's ex-wife didn't come here to post.

  13. Whatever good I got from Matthews was totally shredded with his constant raving about Ford's testimony regarding assault. Or simply that he's from a working class background andnactivand tries to humiliate people who oppose a rich ivy league Federalist Society pro torture pro war imperialist presidency. He's too full of his own cognitive dissonance to do me any good now. Attacking abused people while posing as anti narcissist is just ridiculous. I can't take him seriously at all anymore.

    1. I didn't see those videos but probably would have avoided them. I don't get how he is working class or from a working class background and still defends these elitist billionaires either. I guess Ollie has come out as a Kavenaugh supporter? Doesn't he realize these folks are all uber-religious and he's not, why does he support the Dominionists. I don't find his views consistent, he's all over the map. Yeah I checked out too as this article displays. His non-questioning of Trump creeps me out. Trump and pals are not your average moderate Republicans during the pre-Bush era, they are extremists. Oh what would Ollie think if he knew his favorite judge was a supporter of the Patriot Act and American's going without a trial?

  14. I went on his fb and criticized the fact that his political arguments made no sense. Same deal.calls me a spoiled,entitled brat, talks about my vagina,has his followers harass me for days.He regularly savages very vulnerable people looking for help. He needs to be taken down