I Miss the Old Left

 

The left has gone off the rails long ago. See: The Modern Left has gone Fascist for Covid Oppression

Food Costs Skyrocketing

 I've been watching this guy's channel, "The Real Economy", he lives in Florida, but the prices are very similar to where I live. Food is getting too high. My fridge is completely empty except for some condiments, and eggs. We bought some lunch meat, a tomato and bread. It is getting to the point where we can't afford groceries anymore ourselves. I wonder why Americans just roll over and take this crap, they'll take to the streets about a crime 5 states away but won't do jack to protest as the economy crushes them.

 I haven't missed a meal yet but many of them have sucked. I've done a few bouts of involuntary "intermittent fasting" delaying breakfast into lunch time, etc, but with diabetes you can only push this so far. I just ate now for first time, [at around 11] but know more hunger pain will come in the afternoon. 

The food pantry food still sucks too. Beggars can't be choosers but why can't people tell them, we can't eat all sugar and carbs? There's a few decent finds like a bag of almonds I've been eating a few out of at a time for acouple of months, but one box had 3 bags of sugary granola, 3 bags of frozen sugary fruit, and other foods I can't eat. I've had to eat macaroni with some government Velveeta-like cheese they've passed out. It's always starch and sugar city and you never see ingredients for actual meals. 

Our household is on the edge of collapse. Emergency mode is here, where I'm boxing up what I can and selling what I can. My rent is paid on time because of my disability check, but there's no money for anything! I'm two weeks late on the electric bill. Get this, my husband works all the time at his freelance and gig employment but it's so little money, the bills are destroying us.

 My clothes are getting frayed again and like usual my self esteem is dropping like a rock as a result. My walker is taped together, with the ripped up handles wrapped in layers of duct tape. I'm wearing old shoes falling apart because the shoes I saved from Trump money times, sadly are too tight, and I didn't gain weight since then!

Friends have helped us. Thank you friends, but you get scared of being a burden to your friends. Always a taker instead of a giver, what a cursed life! We got three years free of the food pantries and other BS but now we are back in the poverty zone. I'm sure my rich mother and sister won't be going without food. My mother's pantries were always full to the bursting level with two full refrigerators and two freezers.

God always votes against me. I don't know why.  I wonder if God will send my mother more money while allowing me to be crushed. I didn't want much, just a life with basic bills paid, able to do art work, go to a few groups, see a few friends. One reason I left the UU church is they gave a lot more damn about wealthy trans people with the cash to alter body parts than any poor people. I was still planning to write the pastor an email about why I left, and that may be mentioned. At least one guy there still helps us with car repairs, I like him, he's nice, but wonder if he questions some of their priorities too. He gave our car a jump the other day. 

We disagree about what to do. I want to sell everything off and leave. There's no future here. I wonder if we should go find a boarding house or rental room but my disabilities are too severe to live with any strangers. If we are going be poor, at least let's get a life not gutted by bills and living on the constant edge and go live around other poor people so we are not lonely. We failed to "adult"! I have stuff to post and sell today. Selling a starving artist wall painting for 40 bucks--not painted by me, it was a decorative item, bought dinner the other day.  If I was healthy, I'd maybe chose van life or other alternatives. 

  Let's have rent that doesn't totally blast my disability check out of the water.  Imagine a disability check vaporized in one day from rent and electric bill--the electric bill money had to go to something else last week. Oh yeah it was the 60 dollar car oil change which was overdue, and something else. By the way car oil changes used to cost 30 dollars just two years ago. My husband shares his money, all money is considered each other's money but what's the use of that if there's none left?  I'm paying for a life that lacks meaning at this point beyond "survival". Why the hell don't I ever meet anyone poor like me, who can talk about it? Why do I always have to be the one in the ditch?

Maybe the places where you have rent for 500 a month, aren't the fanciest but we can't afford the nice stuff around us here anyway. Even subsidized may not save us, since we ride the edges of the cut off income. I get the feeling they don't want many married people in those places. The list could come up this summer or next year, there's no way to know. 

He wants to stay in the land of wealthy boomers. I told him while there's doctors and charities here, my life quality now sucks, there's no one to relate and we can't pay all these bills anymore. I understand why he is wary. Things could get worse. The work-world is hell for autistics. I believe one reason husband's career has been so troubled, is he has major traits of autism though he remains undiagnosed. If his best friend is autistic [told by his counselors] and his wife is autistic, do the math. I know autistic people in their 50s who still live at home. One in town here, struggles to get jobs, he gets hired for short periods of time in his case but then gets laid off far too easily. My husband could keep employed for longer periods of time but always got pushed to the back of the room. 

 All the politicians and leaders have done is crush us. They suck. They destroyed my life with their Covid shit, got away with MURDERING millions, yeah I will call it murder, and now are destroying us via the economy. Look at the food prices on that video. That's what it costs here. Who can afford that crap? Even the middle income people have to be losing it now since their overhead is far higher. He has another video where he goes through the COSTCO, and everything costs so much, it must be all for millionaires. I couldn't even see someone making 100,000 a year affording that garbage.

 I can see the streets filling with homeless people. One thing that pisses me off, is how they keep gaslighting us about the economy through official channels, the same bullshit, that is papering over all the health effects from the Covid vaxx. I can't even tolerate reading any "liberal" website as they still gloat over Biden. Maybe most of that crap is written by rich trust fund kids. Biden sucks. Biden/Trump whatever, they all suck!

I don't know what to do. My husband's applied for new jobs. He can barely walk [this is a chronic problem] and even last night when we went to a friend's art opening, he had a lot of problems getting around and had to sit down to rest quite a bit. If we had money, I'd buy him his own sit-down rollator too. He should have been on disability years ago. He already makes minimum wage [10 dollars an hour in this state] full time a week at his remote work, so trying to get a retail, fast food or other low level job wouldn't change anything. His lack of a vacation or downtime, shows. Imagine a life where you never get time off work, or have to always worry about bringing in money every second. 

I'm shutting everything off--well the only thing to shut off is rock bottom basic cable, but we can't afford that either. A friend got me a firestick which was nice. I tried to talk him into shutting off the long distance line but he says he needs it for work along with the Internet. I have to keep my transcribe phone going [40 dollars a month] for communication.

 At least he doesn't have to drive anywhere except a few events he covers for freelance. We have discovered Indeed seems to just have listings that lead nowhere and there are tons of jobs now, that are nothing but scams. He applied for government jobs and never hears back, even remote ones. The "labor shortage" is a lie. They are destroying the economy too via "controlled demolition" and lying about it.