New Hobby: Russian Literature and Films

 I watched this film the other week, a friend suggested it to me. I loved it, it's a Russian film with English Subtitles. I never have read War and Peace, somehow I missed that one in school but I'm planning to find a certain translation and read it soon. I have read Dead Souls, Oblomov, and several other Russian books and authors. Tolstoy is one of my favorite. Next on my list is Crime and Punishment. Check out this film, some of the cinematography looks like paintings. There's a lot of war scenes. Wish some of our crazy leaders could see this film regarding the futility of war. 

Wrapped Around Their Finger

 

It took me years later to realize how the narcissists were manipulating the others. Like when the wife of Uncle Narcissist, cried to my cousins to make me look bad, feigning sadness. I even showed the cousin a copy of our text discussion but it didn't wake him up. There is a real focus to turn everyone against you too. I remember how my family gleefully talked about my brother's ex-wife, and bonded over put-downs, it was crazy to watch. That's how it worked. She was another scapegoat as I mentioned years ago. I had a weird dream the other night where I was visiting the family at my old grandmother's house, and I didn't want to go in. I was there with suitcases, in the dream I was homeless and a lot younger. Ive never been homeless but was in this dream. I said, "I don't want to go in there, you have to walk away". In the dream, I was trying to choose a new place to live. Guess I can see the obvious meaning of that dream. 

Don't Expect Them to Wake Up....

 

I'm planning to write an article soon on how scapegoats reject other scapegoats in a family system that will be coming later. When I used to talk to mine, I could hear the disassociation, and the shutting down. Emotions were to be denied, there was no reality allowed and everything was run according to status and who had it. They are fully invested in the toxic system. 

Dystopia is Here Now

 

Some of oldsters remember when society seemed to function a lot better.  I think the USA is declining and going into a full blown depression. We are in a dying empire. I know some don't like me saying this but it's true. Other countries look out for their own people while this one is led by politicians who are emptying the till as they dismantle the place. I watched a video the other day, with the economist Michael Hudson, so gives out some interesting facts about America, that 50 percent of Americans can't come up with 400 dollars in an emergency, and that home ownership here is falling. Our middle class is disappearing. He has different views about Russia, their middle class is growing while ours is in freefall. I've never been middle class as an adult, his definition of it fits too. When people have to constantly beg and borrow for necessities your society is not a functioning one. This place is a dystopia now. Just wait until they get the bio-tech garbage at full-throttle. I plan to post more on that too. 

The Best Men

 

Sometimes I wonder why good jobs are so hard to get and why some people were given places in society and others weren't. It's something I mull over. I'm worn out helping husband with the job-hunt. it all seems a dead-end. I get the feeling they see the gig employment/his age and just chuck the computer files of his resume into the computer trash-can or the algorithm does. I'm not sure what direction there is to go. I feel like there's something in the formula we missed. By the way it seems almost every job he has gotten we had to know someone, even for gig stuff. I'm not kidding.

He's working all the time, not resting on his laurels. He will even do survey stuff to get immediate money like if we need groceries. I asked around for jobs for him, everything seems entry level and all related to STEM, cell phones or computers. You can see the ruination of our society via job hunting for someone. They really did toss out so many areas. 

Everything is specialized to the extreme, almost like they made humans into robots, and there's a 19th century edge of court rules of mandated language, looks and more. They got all these jobs writing for AI, do these people realize they are writing themselves and others OUT of jobs? A lot of jobs seemed centered around evil, surveillance, AI, and digital biotech dystopian crap. My husband's background isn't related to any of that, but I see that stuff scrolling through Indeed. Remote work seems to be compressing that's what I'm focused on for husband. 

 Journalism is dead. I can go on one journalism jobs website for our state for husband and count 6 newspaper jobs for the entire state. They will want young energetic desperate people to pay a lousy 25,000 dollars a year to.

I was in shock to read about this young woman majoring in journalism and thought unless she's a trust fund kid, who has connections to get into a high tier newspaper or magazine or foundation via relatives or friends, welcome to poverty! He's in that realm of disability now, where it's not enough for the check, but too much problems to stand at a retail store, or be cashier. I found group home jobs for him but he discussed that and said, that would be too physically demanding. It really was for me. 

 Sometimes I see these people that don't seem especially talented or hard driving, who were okay in life, who got good jobs, stability and were okay, but we weren't. I can understand with me, disabled people don't get rich. I have ADHD off the charts, and multiple physical disabilities. Even today I can barely get through a day doing what needs done, it seems my life is overwhelmed with physical and other tasks I'm not that good at. I just spent two hours sorting pills, taking a shower, nebulizing my lungs, and I'm in my leg machine now.  I have to make some soup for lunch, and then wrap my leg and try to clean up a few things. I have to deal with some internet addiction but then body is so much in pain, I end up in bed too much which is where the computer and videos are. My body swelled up huge this week. Time is always vaporizing for me like a fart in the wind. Maybe I'm not responsible enough and want to do things like read War and Peace and paint or go online too much. I did get my printer to work at least recently. I also got a painting done for an art show, that is to be delivered soon. 

 My husband though deserved a lot better. There's reasons I don't believe in the system, isn't there? At least with him getting some stringer work writing articles for a local paper and continuing with transcription we have been able to survive, but it's right on the edge of the cliff.  That gets tiring. I read an article years ago that talked about how older men were just being cast aside. I think they are lying about the unemployment numbers. They are just blatant lies. If you know of a remote job related to transcription, journalism, writing, proof-reading and editing tell me about it here. If you hire for those jobs and read this blog, save Peep from descending into worse poverty and write her and tell her of a job for her husband. The scary thing is he is working all the time, but as expensive as everything is, we need something more stable. 

Update on this one:

I went out to make soup, it had cabbage and tomatoes in it, I'm out of onions, but had some garlic left, and heated up some bread I got from a food pantry with frozen lunch meat ham to go on the side. I usually don't eat ham that often but beggars can't be choosers. Dinner has to be homemade mac and cheese--I got cheese from a food pantry and some chicken patties, it's what I have. 

 Anyhow husband tells me he got downgraded twice by the algorithims on his transcription. You can be going swimmingly along for months and get dinged, and the punishment? Less work. He hasn't been cut down yet--thats a few points away, but they keep the screws on them. Imagine a job where there's no benefits, no vacation, and constant testing, and if you make one mistake, you're punished. The computer determines your fate. 

Now the mistakes are dubious, I've looked what the machine considers a mistake and most often they are NOT. People think gig stuff is easy but its not. Even ebay slowed down this week, but I have to help get more stuff up. I'm kind of depressed from digging through my stamp collection, selling parts of it off. We were digging up autographs to sell, they are real ones, but probably everyone is too broke to care. 

Decades of Decline

 

Maybe next it will be cardboard boxes on the sidewalk for Generation Alpha. Things definitely been in a decline for a long time.