A Very Cool Plus Sized Wedding Dress

If only there were dresses like this I could buy and wear everyday, hey I try to get as close to it as I can, but not as long.  I'm already married and designed my own wedding dress, maybe I should picture it here someday, I can't sew but someone else made it. Anyhow I loved this dress and thought it was very nice and the color is great too.

I really do hate jeans

"I hate jeans"

"George F. Will: I hate Jeans"


I was just told I made a "sizeist" on a fat acceptance website, for writing that I think jeans are not flattering on fat women over size 18. Hey it's an opinion no one has to agree with it. It is not against the fat women themselves but the look they insist on dressing everyone in, even the thin people. I have to admit, I am not always the most PC person. I didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings, but well read on and hopefully you will understand more of what I meant....

How do they not know in my mind, I am thinking, I wish plus sized women had better options to dress and maybe I long for the days where there WAS variety in fashion. It's strange because whatever happened to freedom of speech? My friends thin and fat, know I hate jeans, and yes many of them DO WEAR jeans. Hey, if they are comfortable, and that's okay for them, so be it.

I spent so many of my teen years with my own mid-sized body squeezed into jeans, with very few options to wear anything else, perhaps I wrote that remembering the feeling of unease, of my large body poured into the worse clothing item anyone could have designed for a fat person. I remember putting on the tight, hot and thick denim pants getting a work out every morning in getting them on and wishing for skirts and dresses. In the 1980s too was the tyranny of the Jordache and other designer jeans and it was "in" for people to wear them as tight as possible. I wonder how life could have been dressed in beautiful clothes instead of one's that made me uncomfortable? Ok maybe I am a bit of a clothes snob, but I remember wondering why I had to dress just like my brother for so many years. Even to get flat shoes, that were not the proverbial boring "white sneakers" took some arguments on my part.

The worse things about jeans are how unforgiving they were. Gain 10lbs and they do not fit right. Get a bit swelled up, and they are tight. In a way being forced to wear jeans instead of more flattering clothing as a young person left me more vulnerable, every figure flaw on full display and oddly in my junior high and high school with the strange rules, that our shirts be tucked in and no jackets or cardigans worn in the classroom which meant my very large pear shape was even more emphasized. There was little modesty in that formula. For some reason, my mother did not let me wear dresses or more feminine fashions, except for special events, where the once a year or so dress for the wedding always had to have the nylons with it, so day to day, I was stuck in sweaters, t-shirts and jeans. When I left the house, and started buying my own clothes, I made the transition to knit pants and then to wearing dresses the majority of the time. The last year I wore a pair of jeans was 1992, once I was out of the house, I ditched them all.

I never felt "right" in jeans. My body is extremely pear shaped, my waist runs 20 inches under the hips even now, and always the hips were tight while the waist was looser, I felt like I was being forced to dress like everyone else, when my body was NOT like everyone else's. I was left vulnerable with my very large butt on display like a beacon, which actually I think I figured out why so many of that insults in junior high and high school focused on that one area of my body. Today even if I wanted to wear jeans, I could not. They do not make them in my size.

I think fat women now, try to dress too much like thin women, instead of choosing fashions that are FLATTERING, COMFORTABLE and make them feel good.  I see way too many fat women, literally POURED into tight fitting jeans. Sorry if someone thinks I am being fat hating to say that does not look good. They are trying to be something they are not, and most of them DO look UNCOMFORTABLE. One thing about me, I break endless fashion rules but I'd rather see people break them on the side of feeling better about themselves rather then CONFORMITY!

Often even finding nice clothes that flatter for fat people is hard, but how many people are wearing jeans now because there is little else out there on the market. I remember the older days where there was fun to fashion, and different styles and nothing has changed since the 1990s. Can you even name a style to the 00s? I sure can't. It's like creativity died in America and conformity became the rule. To me, the wearing of jeans is a sign of this insisted upon new thing that everyone must look like everyone else.

Bras Should Go the Way of Corsets

Over at the living at 400lbs blog, she discusses finding a bra, and one's that are taken off the market and trying to find new ones. I relate, as the bras I always founded and fit, would crumble or be impossible to find at a future date.

Death of a Bra

I hate bras. I can understand a well-endowed woman wearing one for various reasons, but I have not worn a bra since the late 90s when I had my weight gain. To me, the height of absurdity was bounding up my breasts while I had fat rolls that stuck out way past my bosom. I am definitely very-pear shaped. I do tend to wear sweater sets and double layers, for modesty sake. Bras to me were so uncomfortable, even though I used sports bras in my midsized years, I remember the horrible, chafing, the rashes, the straps that always cut into my shoulders and I thought why do it anymore? The bras never fit either in the cups or elsewhere. They were expensive, they wore out. I am not even sure I could hook a bra nowadays. The last bra size I wore was 43 B, this was before the major weight gain.

So I set myself free. I stopped wearing them somewhere around 1995 or so. I would put on undershirts, to get by when I was still working. Depending on the outfit this isn't always needed. I wished the bras had stayed burned in the 1960s, what happened with that? Bras should go the way of corsets. I even wonder if bras have led to more breast cancer blocking the lymph system. So have other people.

Now I am relatively flat chested so maybe this decision was made easier. They also do not make a size 56 B bra. [I am smaller on top then on the bottom]. So today, wearing a bra is NOT an OPTION anyway, and by the way, at the height of my weight that measurement was even higher but the breasts stayed around a B. This is something I was happy to let go of. If you are reading this, and are a fat woman wearing a bra. Ask yourself if it really helps you, in some cases, they may, but if you can walk away from wearing one, ponder that too. Some probably will be shocked thinking I am flouting societal conventions, but I do not believe in doing that what makes no sense.

Got Some New Dresses

I know I stress the theme of fat ladies getting themselves some flattering clothes. A good friend of mine bought me two dresses, and I was very thankful and I told her my favorite clothes website to order them off of. Thanks very much to that dear friend! Another friend got me a very pretty blue purse as well, which will go with both these dresses for my birthday. And then I have this other friend who always thinks of me all the time as well as well as many others. I do have many sweet friends. :)

The clothes website was Sanctuarie....

One dress was cut in princess style for pear shapes, and that is a very flattering dress.

Lane Bryant/Fashion Bug Closing Stores

Lane Bryant/Fashion Bug Closing Stores

Charming Shoppes Inc., parent to Lane Bryant, says it plans to close more than 10 percent of its stores nationwide this year.
Bensalem, Pa.-based Charming Shoppes Inc. (Nasdaq:CHRS), whose holdings also include the Cacique, Fashion Bug and Catherines Plus Sizes brands, said the closings will hit 240 of its 2,064 stores. About half of the stores to be shuttered will be its Fashion Bug nameplate, which has nine Phoenix-area locations, according to the company’s website...

I stopped wearing their clothes years ago, even before the years I was too big to fit in their clothing. Some of us don't want to dress like hookers or like someone's grandmother from 1970. I worked at a Fashion Bug Plus when I was in college, when I still fit into the clothes, and even with a discount, saw little I wanted to wear.

The Fat Girl's New Clothes or I Don't Want to Dress Like a Construction Worker!

Being tall and fat, my round features and double chin consigned me to Sears Roebucks "Pretty Plus Department', where my mother worked. I couldn't count on the safety net of my jumper uniforms-with their blue, plaid, Peter Pan style collars that had gotten me through seven years of Catholic school. I dreaded shopping for clothes with every ounce of my being: I'd see my mother getting frustrated, dragging me from store to store, hoping for the right pants to fit my extreme-pear shaped figure.

I'd shot up to a 24/26 misses size--where I'd stay until around age 26 before the fun really began and a size 12-13 shoe. Being 5'11, I stood taller then 80% of the boys I'd meet, and a good deal heavier too; but how could I stage-manage my height, when the weight was ever present.

I'd dream of cutting off my toes and shrinking into the "petite' drawer where all the popular girls resided. Truthfully, I hardly felt like a girl, when they were supposed to be cute, thin and smaller then men.

Adding to my misery, the larger women's clothes were usually ill-fitting, too short, and locked into those mysterious half sizes for the "stocky and short". In the mid-80s of axis of Calvin Klein, Guess and Gloria Vanderbilt, my grandma styled shirts with those weird useless tabs on the sleeves, men's shoes and "high water pants" only cemented my low high school status.

The pattern never changed with my mother admonishing me as she fit pants over hips that outpaced my waist by 10 inches. That didn't include my arms--always too long for the '80s blazers--causing my mother to tell me, "you have very long arms!"

Other times I'd hear, "Soon you will be wearing muu-muus", or "What will you do for clothes when you get too fat to buy any?" since I was at the tippy top of the size scale for the 16 Plus shop. Such one-liners became an unpleasant reality when I shot up past my mother's 18-20 size during my junior year. It couldn't be any fun for her either, but not surprisingly, these trips ended with me getting mad or in tears, and my mother fuming about the weight that refused to come down: "Don't you want to be able to wear pretty clothes?"

I'd shoot back, "Why don't they just make them in larger sizes?"

But even the plus sized stores, it seemed, were prejudiced against my upper end of the scale. For years, I noticed the odd size 24 mingled with the endless colors of size 14-20 styles-even though I was seeing plenty of older women my size too.

Everything seemed made for extremely short fat women with big bosoms, not fat tall, extremely flat chested and large hipped women like myself. I dreamed of flowing fabrics, long dresses and tunics, but felt consigned to my mother's taste for Oxford shirts and narrowing jeans--everything unforgiving of a large figure. Even then I wouldn't find any dresses that fell below my knees until the mid-90s.

When I got out of the house and become free to make my own fashion choices, I started buying more dresses and started breaking the constricting fashion rules I was brought up with such as the odd rule that one had to wear uncomfortable nylons every time they wore a dress. Those things were abysmal.

Into the 90s there become more choices for clothes but even then they were hard won. I would travel 20 miles to this one specialized clothing store that catered to large women, dropping 400 bucks [a huge amount of money for me] to buy decent dresses. Most of what the mainstream plus size stores offered was far too masculine, boring, too form fitted and "tailored". Walk into those places, you see a couple dresses on the far wall, and there's nothing but jeans and construction worker clothes!

Most of these places make the mistake of just making the thin women's styles "bigger" which doesn't mean on a fat women they will be flattering. Wide waist bands on pants? Come on! , these pants if anything will make a woman look far fatter. Culottes? Do not get me started. One thing I'd love to tell the plus sized moguls, do not design dresses with top to bottom buttons for fat women! Why are most of these dresses so short?!

Modern fashion has lost a lot of zing, and gotten uglier and uglier, where it seems we have gone to a place of everything look like it's from the 80s but shorter and tighter. OK, so maybe I dress like it's 1890 but at least I can move around and bend over without everything being put on display. What is it with those tops that are cinched in right under the bust, that make everyone overweight look pregnant?

Also someone needs to tell women over size 18, jeans are not flattering! Actually I do not think they are flattering to anyone! If anything has become the new Maoist uniform for American it is blue jeans! I'm bored even seeing them on everyone! Adding high heels to the picture, doesn't help either, it just looks tacky.

Today, I wear all dresses, yes there is some practicality to it, weighting 500lbs and trying to hoist some pants over your rear-end, isn't easy. Pants on a body shaped like mine look ludicrous. I buy my clothes special made from couple stores that specialize in the ultra plus sized woman. The main one already mentioned is sancutarie. but there are deals to be found on ebay too.

Say Yes to the Dress: Big Bliss

Say Yes to the Dress, is the TLC program, that shows a large wedding dress shop, where they have made a show out of women selecting their wedding dresses. Well last night, they did their new plus size version.

Some things I noticed:

1. Most of these women were in the 20-26 size range, why couldn't the dresses have been made to actually fit them? Most could not zip their dresses up. Here the dress manufacturers need to actually make the dresses for the real sizes. The majority of the women were apple shaped vs. pear shaped. Any woman with bigger hips would have been even worse off.

2. The staff was very nice and accommodating, of course I found the constant tears and deflated egos, a bit off putting. The thin women cry too out of loving their wedding dress, but what is about TV that always shows fat women bawling their eyes out every two seconds about how horrible and overweight they are?

3. One woman with the square black glasses, had a very over-affected personality, such as if someone was writing a play and wanted to script in, a "tough as nails" outspoken fat "diva".

4. The dresses looked like they just fattened up "thin" women's dresses, I mean for goodness sakes, designing a dress that is "tight" around the stomach area? What fat woman would look good in that? They were far too tailored, and tight, and not enough give. Is this to save money on fabric?

5. I had my wedding dress custom made. Not everyone can afford this or manage that {I sold art to finance it}, but I never got to try on wedding dresses when I was married, I was so far out of the normal sizes, I did design my own dress and got someone to sew it. It had a higher "empire" waist with a full skirt.

6. Watching the ladies choose which dress is always interesting, as well as the reaction of the friends and family.

My Most Favorite Dress Ever

I had this friend give me this dress who lost weight. This dress is called the Juliet Dress. This was the most figure flattering dress ever, I wore it everywhere I could for a few years til it wore out in the early 2000s, plan to get another after I save for it. In my case, clothes snobbery rules, you won't see me walking around in sweats, yes I know a 500lb flat broke clothes snob is rare. I do think the size chart has come down, but could see them customizing one. [would only need a little more room in the hips on the highest size]. My dress style is very different, many people like my choices, but also I've told I dress like its the 1890s, which to me is a compliment!

Clothes that look good on thin people do not necessarily look good on fat people. One pet peeve, is fat women wearing very tight jeans and/or halter tops etc. Toss them in the trash and go find something, that fits right and even more importantly you feel good in. Refuse to wear clothes that are an affront to your dignity. If you are poor, you can get good cheap clothes off ebay!

Plus Sized Wars: More Fat People in Fashion and on TV

Plus-Size Wars: NYTimes.com

This is an interesting article showing some of the new developments in fashion and on TV where more plus sized people are being given a place. This is a good development. It would be nice one day for fat people to be able to buy more clothes and have more variety. I don't know what people my size did 30 years ago? Wear bed sheets or have all the clothes custom made? Thankfully with the Internet us super sized people can find clothes. For years, I would buy dresses off ebay, pressing the 5x plus keys. Some high fashion shows with fat women would be a great thing to see.

My Favorite Clothes Company

Sanctuarie Designs, Inc

This is one of the best places to get clothes if you are supersized or even more midsized.

I've been a customer for over 6 years. Need to save my money because I want to get another batch of dresses. They make the dresses to order, as long as you want, and they have clothes fitted for the pear-shaped of various fabrics and other styles. Even if you are very large like me they can serve your needs. Compliments will come your way. One can look good no matter their size, and if you dress with style, even more so!