Guest Blogger: "God's Will or Plans for Our Lives?"

God’s Will or Plans For Our Lives?

A picture in Peep’s latest blog entitled “Putting a Brave Face On” reminds me of the days I was spiritually abused by so-called Christians. I saw this picture “Your Plan v God’s Plan” in many places when I tried organizations like Calvary Chapel churches and Intervarsity Christian Fellowship. It would be years before I learned that it was one of the biggest lies perpetuated on us by Satan, with to help of narcs and false Christians. Yes, narcs have been behind this all along, because it was one of their plans, not God’s!

I had a light-bulb moment this morning and began to realize the truest motivation behind posting this meme, or a Christian tract as it was before internet came into existence. There were some ulterior motives behind giving this meme or a tract. It was not a good motive. These so-called, well-off false Christians are not true Christians after all and they don’t love God. They did not surrender their lives to the Lord nor had their hearts changed! No, they lied to us about it. Why are they doing this to us?

                                        [picture source]

They don’t want to compete with poor people for resources and wealth. The resources they are concerned about are more than just money or wealth. They want to keep their easy and comfortable lives and be with people who are “clean, perfect, good-looking, successful, and happy.” They want a great life which consists of businesses they own, their properties, going on vacations at least two times per year, paying for their children’s education in prep schools and in Ivy League university, great family gatherings in Thanksgivings and Christmases as well as sometime during the summer, perfect credit rating and abundance of resources.

Matthew 19:24 "And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God."

They don’t care about God or Jesus. Having a good life is more important to them than being a loving and caring Christians. And they want to have their good lives and eat cake too, meaning that what they have been doing, hurting people in order to live a good and comfortable life, is okay with God. What they want is to ignore those who are less fortunate and have God “control” our lives so we would not fight for justice or look for a better life. What they really want is to have God scoop us away from them so they don’t have to hear about our complaints and laments about injustices in our lives. They want God to “control” our lives so we would shut up!

Matthew 16:25 "For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it."

I am giving you several examples. They did not want to give their wealth to charitable organizations that are run by caring people rather than those who would abuse those who need help. A caring organization with caring case workers, Volunteer of America, paid for my dental care years ago so I could save my teeth rather than an extraction. When a case worker accepted my application, she told me that people gave generously to Volunteer of America so poor people like me could get a quality dental care. There were no strings attached and I did not have to donate money as long as I am still struggling to pay bills. Since the economic downtown, Volunteer of America could not do the same because people did not donate enough money, or those who had money withheld it from organizations that could help those less fortunate. They did not care and want God to scoop us up and “control” us so we would stop complaining about their contributions to our harder lives. They don’t want people to complain about them not donating their money to caring organizations who could have helped them.

In the past up to three years ago, a program for poor woman received generous donations for a scholarship program for women who attended college. I used to get $1,000 per year but it stopped as of late 2013. People stopped donating to the organization either because of economic downturn or those who have money are hoarding it. Many women and I were forced to take out a few loans to make up for $1,000. I was angry and prayed to God for money. My college had a way to giving me a scholarship and paid for some of my classes in full so I only took $3000 in loans from that school.

What these self-absorbed people are doing is "buying their way to heaven" by “tithing” and going to church every Sunday. False preachers are being paid well to tell them what they want to hear and to sooth them of any guilt they could have for unforgivable sins such as not loving God as much and not loving those who are unfortunate. They are paying for pastor who printed or give out tracts that make us angry with God. They don’t care about us. It is their way of telling us, “I don’t want to hear your complaints because I don’t care. I want a good life and go to heaven too. Please leave me alone!”

They don’t like to hear us complaining about our misfortunes and asking them to pray for good things to happen to us. They don’t want to hear our laments against narcs and evil people ruining our lives, and our problems with injustices in life in general. They don’t want to hear about our complaints about God not answering our prayers or keep on praying for us or giving us support and resources we need. Why don’t they care? Why are they living good lives and not caring? Why are they going to church and still living good lives? Because they are not Christians!

                                          [picture source]

There had been a realization that these good-living, faithful church-going people had been guilty all along or if they have not been guilty, they are supporting or enabling guilty parties of those who caused our suffering. Instead of acknowledging their guilt or absolving it by working on becoming loving Christians who help and care about those with less fortune, they tell us that God is in control of our lives, he had it planned all along, he is waiting for us to understand that he is in control and we need to accept that, and we need to let go and let God. They want us to submit ourselves and surrender our lives completely to the Lord! They want us to lose our freedom of making choices and having good lives for ourselves. Oh no, they don’t care about us. They want us to “accept our lots in our lives” and believe it was God’s will or God’s plans for our lives. I’m sure they are laughing and crossing their fingers behind their backs and breathing heavily that we will never figure out their true intentions.

Why did they claim that they embraced their suffering and accepted God’s wills for their lives? Why did they say that their lives are wonderful and fulfilling? If you look around and review their live situations compared to ours, you will notice that these people did not suffer much during their lives. They don’t have narcissistic parents to abuse them as children or conduct smear campaign against them as adults. Some are narcissistic themselves.

Some narcs tell of their struggles during their childhood and young adult years, and how they overcame their difficulties. They used their stories of struggles, race, and disability to get ahead in life. When they got a degree from a prestigious university, for example, some do not help poor, minority and people with disability in their work. Some who work for these disadvantaged groups ended up abusing their clients or those who came to their employers for help. For example, I had several hard-of-hearing vocational rehabilitation counselors who abused me because I did not have a mentality of a narc woman (being cold, critical, detached, or acting like my narc mother and other narc women), and they are obviously narcs. I had many horror stories to tell you but need to suffice it here. Narc people with disability are very successful in vocational rehabilitation programs. It has been that way for years and I hope it will change in the near future.

I heard complaints from black people that there are Uncle Toms or house Negroes working in organizations that are supposed to help poor black people. Poor people or homeless women complained about formerly poor people who became counselors or social workers, because they were condescending or tried to make them do something they don’t want to do. For example, narc case workers of a transitional housing program told several women to go to a substance abuse center in order to keep their spot in a transitional housing program.  A sympathetic social worker told me it is hard for some people to get sober so they had to get these ladies into a section 8 voucher program instead of a public  housing program. There had been many complaints about these successful people. Some of these people are good-living, church going people.  They tithe but don't give to organization or help unfortunate people with love and care.

Some good-living Christian people who like these memes we could not stomach claimed that God helped them, because they surrendered their lives to the Lord. The truth is they did not surrender their lives to the Lord, not the ways they described. They had good lives so other Christians did not tell them to give up on their decisions and goals. They tithed faithfully to churches because they had jobs and abundant financial resources. They did not have to deal with a pastor because they gave generously to church. They had easier lives in a “Christian” organization, because they did not suffer and people could see that their lives went well. Christian leaders assumed that they are right with God and opened doors for them in ministry and obtaining financial resources. My friend told me one time that these people were not blessed by God. They were blessed by their parents, cooperative people, and fellow narcs who like them. Satan blessed some of these people.  These are examples.

Some became narcs themselves because of a culture that conditioned them to become one, and a false Christian culture that told them that it is okay for them to hurt others by withholding resources, being cold, putting people in situations that would force them to surrender their lives completely to God and give up on their plans or decisions. That’s spiritually abuse. Some narcs never experienced spiritual abuses because they are being blessed by Satan and evil people.  There are people who claimed that they accept God’s plans or wills for their lives, that they surrendered their lives completely to the Lord, and are at peace with God. It was not true. They are not at peace! They are very angry and bitter people.

I could give you an example and you probably ran into some yourself. I had a so-called Christian friend in college who claimed she was at peace and very happy with God’s plans and wills for her life. Before she started judging me, she revealed to me that two doctors told her she needed counseling. She was upset because she believed that “Christian people don’t need counseling.” I was young at that time so I did not know what to say. Her mother told her that Satan sent her to a doctor to tell her lies about counseling and that God could heal her. My so-called friend was in denial that she was angry.  Her beloved father died when she was nine so she was crushed when her mother told her that God took him,  She read a few passages in the bible and joined bible studies in Calvary Chapel churches.  However, she had an outburst of rage that ended our friendship.

                                      A horrible narcissistic view of the poor....

She did not like being around with poor and unlucky people. She told me that poor people are not Christians because God would give them money if they let him control their lives. It did not sound right to me, and I told her that God is not like Santa Claus. Even though God does help people, he is not like Santa Claus who would give more money to “good” people and poverty to “bad” people. Six months later, our friendship ended after months of arguing about God and her way of treating those who are less fortunate. She does not want to help or be with those who are less fortunate.

She eventually lived a great life by getting married to a man who makes a lot of money, voted for Republicans who created policies that worked against poor people, and going to churches where pastors tell rich people what they want to hear. I am still struggling and praying for a husband and children. Does that mean God has will for me and a plan for me to be single and childless, or that he is waiting for me to surrender my life completely to him so I could lose my decision and goals in life? Does that mean he wants me to let him control my life, my heart, mind and soul, so I would submit myself to abuse and reunite with my abusive adopted narc mother?

No, but these are what selfish narc Christians want to tell me. They don’t want to pray for me that I will find a husband. They don’t want to introduce me to good men to meet. They don’t want to start a bible study for single women who are waiting. They don’t want to be my mentor as married women who would help single women like me to find a right Christian man. They don’t want to help single, waiting women. No! They want to dump me and tell me to get lost. They want me to shut up and get away from them, because I was and am interfering with their great lives. Several ladies made comments or implied that they would not hang out with me until I get married with children, because they are afraid single adults would ruin their marriage! They want God to “take care of it for them so I would stop complaining to them about my singleness and the lack of a family who love me,” meaning God, as they believe, would force me to stomach it and “accept” singleness, childlessness, and a lack of a caring family as parts of his "plans or wills for my life."

Most of them are narcs. They are not Christians. If you read the whole bible, you will know what God meant when he said that you could tell if they are true Christians by their fruits. These people produced bad fruits and they are not true Christians or God’s people.-----ThreeThousandMileRunning