Monday, June 29, 2015
The Giant Set-Up
"You are being set up. You have been set up all your life, conditioned to try, try, try to stay in the game, and to fail in ways that bring Nsupply to the Ns in your family. Eventually, some of us don’t even need to be manipulated by our NMs to provide the source: we drop out of school, get involved with abusive, passive aggressive, or even narcissistic men, we get pregnant without marriage or we get married and have too many kids or we have them too close together; we get involved with drugs and/or alcohol, live marginal life styles, go on welfare, struggle for the barest necessities. And those of us who “make it”? I stood in an elevator in a hotel in Las Vegas with my NM after not seeing her for ten years: I was wearing a silk dress the same size I wore in high school, my hair had been professionally coiffed, my jewellery was real gold and diamonds. My mother said only three words to me “You’ve gotten fat.”
You are being set up. You have been set up all of your life. You have been conditioned not to achieve and succeed, but to fail in ways that give your NParents the greatest amount of Nsupply, whether from without or within. When you do poorly, when you are broke and hungry and on welfare so your kids can eat, your NParents not only get NSupply from others who sympathize with them about how lazy and shiftless and worthless you have become, they get NSupply from within because they feel superior to you. “Such good people,” their friends mutter as a scapegoat son is hauled away in handcuffs, “how sad for them that their son ended up a criminal…” Who is asking that “criminal” how he got to that point?"
I was set up...and so were you!
A life rule for ACONs, stay away from anyone who thinks they are SUPERIOR to you. I know I am still trying to work through the brainwashing that I had to attain the upper-middle class to be considered worthy as a person. Scapegoats are often set up for severe failure. You know that wedding I was not invited to from a few years ago? The cousin was marrying a multi-millionaire publisher whose father was a Stock Broker on Wall-Street. I wouldn't expect anyone to make book deals at the reception but imagine a writer like my husband getting to know someone like that?
The narcissists desire that we fail, so they look good compared to us. My family is busy setting up three new cousins for failure, and the rich ones with endless connections aren't even helping them get a simple mail room job that can help them move out of their parent's house. I know my mother fed on my poverty like a vampire. Even 15 years ago, she suddenly acted helpless when my husband applied for a government job at the same place she was showed a straight path into.
Some may say you can't blame narcissistic parents for all life failures, and this is true to a point. But one part of the career and "making it" world, is social connections. If someone is smear campaigning you behind the scenes, success is going to be harder to come by.
Young ACONs make financial independence your first priority.