The Backlash Against No Contact Continues: It's the Therapists Fault!

Matt Walsh is a right-wing commentator. He's one of those usual pundits that claims jobs can be picked off trees and nothing's wrong with the economy. Funny how these types always serve the interests of elite. I agree with a few of his views on the insanity of the left, and the "cancel culture". He has 3 million plus followers on social media. I will give him this, he at least mentions those parents who were "really abusive" but sadly there's this trend lately of claiming everyone going no contact is doing it over petty matters!

The latest trend in "estranged parent" land is to blame the therapists. Matt Walsh is not the only one discussing this, it's been talked about elsewhere.  It's funny because if anything when I was in therapy years ago, they always stressed reconciliation. I never had a therapist who told me to go no contact. Never! 

I was thinking about religious stuff the other day. Don't most right wingers claim to be Christians? Don't they know their own bibles?  I believe in bible prophecy. Jesus said there will be separation among families in the last days. How come no one on the right remembers this? Didn't they learn a little prophecy in bible camp?  This verse is in context of watching the signs of the end. 

"51 Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division:

52 For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three.

53 The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

The Bible is full of these warnings and talks about the days people "will wax cold".

So this right-wing guy is preaching against predictions of the bible. He says: "Your family is your family". No. They never were. 

The estrangement "experts" also assume there's a family waiting with open arms for everyone including those who went no contact in the first place because no one was really there. They know very little of what they talk about. For most of us it was a "last resort". They also left us before we left them. 

This society shows itself for what it is...

1. No one ever calls for the estranged parents who abused their children or adult children to apologize or change or make anything right. Why aren't they ever helped accountable. While some ACONS counter these points, I never see an outsider say, "Why don't these parents just apologize or treat their adult children better or understand that times are different now?"

2. They tell people to forgive. Problem is the abusive behavior continues.

3. They do not understand the greater forces that have led to family estrangement such as spiritual ones, I also have written about the economic and other factors such as distance.

The Demise of the American Family 3: The Economic Chasm Was Part of It

The Demise of the American Family 4: Distance Was Part of It

The comments were interesting under this video by Matt Walsh. I don't like Walsh. I agree with him about trans and a few things with the craziness of the left however the rest of it, forget it! I am squeezed between the pro-vaxx leftists who want to force MAID on disabled people to save the government money, and the right-wingers who want the disabled to go die in the gutter and homelessness to be made illegal.  Matt Walsh is definitely one of those, he thinks everyone is rich like him.

The comment section on this one was interesting. One lady wrote that Jesus said division would come in families in the last days. Obviously, I agree. Some put up the usual "forgive and forget" messages never with any calls for people to change their behavior or repent. One wisely wrote, "This is going to start playing out in estate law" [well most scapegoats will be disinherited, we know] There were a few people who probably went through experiences like my own, who wrote, it was healthier not to engage, and that their parents were too abusive to be in contact. Many agreed with Walsh blaming the therapists. 

 I don't support some things with the therapy world, it has its uses but also has major problems. Look up Dr. Breggin here and see some of his warnings. They still do ECT in psych wards and seem want to match the movie "One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest. There are situations where people need therapy. Sadly, too many therapists don't realize the system we live in with its corruptions, forced poverty and expectations leading to much of the mental illness. I wrote a friend the other day that most people in psych wards needed friends, money, love, stability, and physical supports they could not get in society. I had too many middle class and above therapists who did not understand what my life was really like. I don't know where all these therapists are that are telling people to go "no contact" with abusive parents, I never had them. All of mine told me to reconcile and "work it out". Maybe things changed after I left but I don't think counselors are even trained to tell people that but to let their clients come to this decision on their own. 

Matt Walsh has that usual dismissive attitudes towards those abused as children basically telling someone to shut up--"we don't want to hear about when you were seven! " Yes one needs to look at their future and not live in the past but telling abused kids to shut up, is part of why we are where we are as a society! I never talk about my past except with very close friends and on here now. I've been gone so many years.

Some wrote stuff like [paraphrasing here]

"Kids can be a pain, sometimes we grow up and realize what pains we were!"

"Don't bitch and whine about things that happened in the past, you need to forgive!

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"My husband finally went no contact with his 90 year old mother, he is far happier!"

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"Some of the parents are going no contact with their kids now, dishing it all back!"

 
"You all need to work through things!"

"In the 19th century, kids cleared out, it was called 'Going out West'!"

This was an interesting point:

"Technology made things worse, before one could just see family for once a year at holidays and didn't have to deal with them most of the time but now with technology we had to talk to them everyday!"

This I agree with

"Most parents are cutoff not because of what they did when their kids were young but how they treat their adult children today!"

Some wrote about therapists destroying families, that occurred over and over. They agreed with Matt Walsh that it was the therapists' fault.

"These young people can tell any sloppy story and the therapists will take their side against the parent".

These estranged parents only see the adult children as extensions of themselves so they see their adult children as incapable of their own decisions and thoughts! Of course they blame the therapists thinking they planted the idea in their head. They also act like this was a sudden decision when for many this is after decades of disrespect and abuse. "

"These therapists are out to make money and want to hear your childhood woes to build a trauma bond, it keeps them employed and the business coming in."

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I don't agree with the therapists being at fault. If you think about what therapists cost now, the last price I was quoted was about 15 years ago and it was 170 dollars for a 50 minute session. Back then Medicare would pay about 110, and I had to pay 60-70. I couldn't afford it. This is around the time I stopped seeing therapists for good and went into my now defunct peer support group. Therapy was useful for a time but it had become unaffordable.

People aren't sitting around thinking "I'm bored, I want to go see a therapist!" 200 bucks for the average person is a lot of money and it costs more than that now. Most people who end up at the therapist's doorstep are people facing real troubles who aren't showing up because they want to get over on Mom and Dad but because they have some issues to deal with.

I've written about how some therapists pushed reconciliation in my case to my detriment. Most therapists at least when I was in therapy were trained to SAVE relationships. Maybe more education in narcissism has occurred since then but I remain doubtful any therapists are doing direct recommendations that someone go no contact.

 Maybe that's changed, but this is another way society is diverting from people's bad behavior and making excuses for those who won't take accountability. Blaming the therapists is easier than admitting you are wrong. One thing these parents should think about if your adult child is troubled or depressed enough to go seek therapy, that means something went wrong in the first place. Happy people don't go running to the therapist's office. You can see how empathy itself is dying in this society.