Puerto Rico

America is literally fraying at the edges. I hope some help is coming now for the Puerto Rican people. This is the worse time to have someone like Trump in charge. Many will be have to evacuate, in some of the photos it looks like the whole infrastructure has been destroyed. Living in a hurricane zone is very dangerous for anyone with health problems where one needs power for dialysis or a CPAP machine. I always wonder why no one has worked to invent affordable in house or apartment power generators, so our weather isn't so immediately life-threatening. Humanity needs this far more then video games and more screens. Texas is still dealing with the aftermath of Harvey and Florida with Maria.

One thing with gas, that struck me as incredibly dumb once even for my own American state, is the power went out, which means no pumps worked at the gas station. No one thought that one out very well. Food goes off fast after that initial day. I am worried for the people there and others that have been hit by severe hurricanes.

Things are getting scary in Puerto Rico

Bill Maher Makes Fun of Fat People

Bill Maher the elitist doesn't get it. They question why fat people can't get good clothes, because stupidity and prejudice outweighs profit when it comes to extreme hatred of fat people? Tim Gunn at least speaks out for some diversity. The chemical diet with low nutrition are many factors behind obesity, instead Maher shows the typical blame towards fat people.

The Mission UK Wasteland

Advice From a Good Mother

Mom's List of Don'ts

"To my daughter,

Don't apologize when someone else bumps into you.

Don't say "sorry to be such a pain." You're not a pain. You're a person with thoughts and feelings who deserves respect.

Don't make up reasons as to why you can't go out with a guy you don't wanna go out with. You don't owe anyone an explanation. A simple "no thanks" should be acceptable.

Don't overthink what you eat in front of people. If you're hungry, eat, and eat what you want. If you want pizza, don't get a salad just because other people are around. Order the damn pizza.

Don't keep your hair long to make someone else happy.

Don't wear a dress if you don't want to.

Don't stay home because you don't have anyone to go out with. Take yourself out. Have experiences by yourself and for yourself.

Don't hold back your tears. Crying means you're feeling something that needs to get out. It's not a weakness. It's being human.

Don't smile because someone told you to.

Don't be afraid to laugh at your own jokes.

Don't say "yes" to be polite. Say "no" because it's your life.

Don't hide your opinions. Speak up and speak loudly. You should be heard.

Don't apologize for being who you are. Be brave and bold and beautiful. Be unapologetically you."

Queen Spider told me the opposite of everything on this list. With the first one, she would drag me out of the way of strangers who were 10 feet away. Just grab me and push so they always had the right of way, this told me, that strangers meant far more to her then I did.  Many ACONs it was their destiny to spend their lives making excuses for their existence. This is a mother who cares about her daughter and wants her to be happy. Dresses are cool though, the same would apply for those who want you to wear jeans every minute and who demand you wear short hair when you do not want to.

Elder Goths

The reality of Elder Goths

Since I left fundamentalism, I've been listening to more music again. I realized I still dressed "goth" to an extent, people used to ask me why I dressed like it was 1890. Because it was cooler? LOL When I get a new dress, it will be black.

I was a fat goth

I see my MLD therapist this week

I am planning to talk to my MLD therapist about going into short term rehab. I would have to see if insurance would pay for it. When the therapists wrapped me, they got my legs very thin, I just manage to keep them from growing bigger. My body is getting more swollen and in pain. The Flexitouch helps but the litany of wrapping and swelling is wearing me out. She probably is going to tell me all my bandages have worn out, but I will be able to get them all replaced when I see her. A kind friend gave me some Tubigrip, she saved my ability to keep wrapping. All this stuff wears out. It is insane.

I have concerns about my mobility. I got my sugars in good control cooking like crazy, and having more food money for vegetables this week, under 120 daily for fasting, but weight loss obviously I am getting no where outside of taking a teeny bit off and working not to gain. My concerns about my mobility are growing, my legs hurt a lot, and it seems I am getting injuries a lot just from walking around normally.

I don't want to go into long term rehab or end up in a nursing home. One fact people don't know, is because of how insurance works for disabled people, this means losing your apartment, and becoming homeless. I just wonder if they can get my legs down really small in a rehab situation but then there's this issue, of how would I "keep" them that way, when I do the best I can now? It is complicated. Weight loss has gotten weird, as all my clothes are falling off the top of me, and don't fit right, but it's not showing up on the scale with the swollen lower body that grows and swells the more I do.  So I need new clothes too.

Taking Another Art Class

recent painting, sorry it's tilted. This painting actually looks better in life. I was doing some painting layers on it that succeeded. I may sell it but have to get a better picture of it. I may keep it too for an art show. One painting I recently donated to a charity auction.

I'm taking another art class. I plan to start two paintings today and we will have some free working time in class tomorrow.. One is a fall scene, and another of a giant flower. I may paint a political painting too, that has war protesters in it. Lately, I want to try and break out of the traditional subjects in painting and talked to my new art teachers about that. Years ago I would paint some weird and goth stuff but then I went more traditional.

One was a college art professor for thirty years, I am eager to see what he says about art. I did reveal my art past in this class during introductions of when I used to be an art teacher for such a short time. Some other older retired art teachers who had far longer careers got the same idea. One thing that troubles me, is I never have been able to break into the traditional art world. When I saw the "Members Show" at the local art center, I thought, "How did they manage to get in?" Some of my work I hope would be good enough to get in. I have always wanted to get into a regular art show but outside of school ones when young and my own several "Do it yourself" affairs, I have not managed it. Yes, the fees and framing and other financial concerns were a major barrier.