Monday, October 2, 2017

Advice From a Good Mother

Mom's List of Don'ts

"To my daughter,
Don't apologize when someone else bumps into you.
Don't say "sorry to be such a pain." You're not a pain. You're a person with thoughts and feelings who deserves respect.
Don't make up reasons as to why you can't go out with a guy you don't wanna go out with. You don't owe anyone an explanation. A simple "no thanks" should be acceptable.
Don't overthink what you eat in front of people. If you're hungry, eat, and eat what you want. If you want pizza, don't get a salad just because other people are around. Order the damn pizza.
Don't keep your hair long to make someone else happy.
Don't wear a dress if you don't want to.
Don't stay home because you don't have anyone to go out with. Take yourself out. Have experiences by yourself and for yourself.
Don't hold back your tears. Crying means you're feeling something that needs to get out. It's not a weakness. It's being human.
Don't smile because someone told you to.
Don't be afraid to laugh at your own jokes.
Don't say "yes" to be polite. Say "no" because it's your life.
Don't hide your opinions. Speak up and speak loudly. You should be heard.
Don't apologize for being who you are. Be brave and bold and beautiful. Be unapologetically you."

Queen Spider told me the opposite of everything on this list. With the first one, she would drag me out of the way of strangers who were 10 feet away. Just grab me and push so they always had the right of way, this told me, that strangers meant far more to her then I did.  Many ACONs it was their destiny to spend their lives making excuses for their existence. This is a mother who cares about her daughter and wants her to be happy. Dresses are cool though, the same would apply for those who want you to wear jeans every minute and who demand you wear short hair when you do not want to.


  1. Me getting out of other peoples way was so ingrained in me that at some point my son, when he was 5, said, why do WE always have to get out of everyone else's way on the sidewalk? I'd never even realized that's what I was making us all do. It was kind of shocking actually. If you teach someone early on that they really don't have the right to exist, they'll be lucky if they ever even question it!

    1. I am glad you are thinking that and at least you were all getting out of people's way together. I don't even like seeing a parent pull their kid out of my way. I can see who the scapegoats are immediately, the kid is taught like they are in the way and everyone else counts far more then them. Glad your 5 year old got you to rethink it.

  2. Growing up "Sorry", in addition to being an ACON symptom, is a cultural reflex here. "If a Canadian falls in the forest, and no one's around, does he still apologize?" lol

    1. LOl about Canadians. Yes I have heard how very polite it is there. :p