The other day, I get a call from my house call doctors, and they tell me I'm getting a new doctor, they removed the nurse practitioner I had for a year or more, and got along with well and assign me to this guy. Sigh...!
He arrives at the door, slight in build, probably around 4 inches shorter then me, one of those types of bodies that have never seen an ounce of fat. Lithe, one of those droid types that fill too many coffee shops. Not an independent thought in his head. I say hello, and walk out to open the door.
I get the feeling the guy does not like me, just on sight. What is scary is I know from the other doctors and professionals in the house call services, that there are other fat people and many of them are totally bed bound or wheelchair bound, some even far heavier then me up to even 300 more lbs. If this guy seems annoyed with me and is literally repulsed, how is he going to be with THEM?
He comes in and asks all the questions, basic check up stuff. I say I need a A1c {slipped up and said A1g or something like that but I'm tired} they are ok with that.....
The visit goes on...
He berates me over how much thyroid medicine I am on: "You really are on .475 micro-milligrams of Synthroid, my God!" Like it's my fault and there are people out there ready to mac on synthroid, and grind it up and snort it or something.
He tells me when I told him I was successful in reducing by quite a bit a pretty severe bowel problem by removing all MSG from the diet, [no more puking and digestive pain three times a week] and mention rice a roni as a sample food such as I could not eat [ie can eat normal rice but not processed], says, "What are you doing eating rice a roni, "You're diabetic, starches are bad for diabetics!". That is a lie and half. During my attempts to be gluten free, I had some time where starch was almost totally gone and that month sugars went sky high. But don't expect the brainwashed "geniuses" to listen.
Aggravated that there seems no sign, he ever read my chart, I told him about having PCOS. "PCOS is caused by being fat", he sneers. I retort, "I had brown spots [Ancathosis Nigrosis] by the time I was 12, the periods went poof by 19 even before I was fat. They have proven there is genetic components to PCOS, my grandmother had all the signs". He ignores me.
I tell him about my pseudo-Cushings diagnosis. He is so badly educated he has never heard of pseudo-Cushings. I realize I know more then this guy. He says "I never heard of Pseudo-Cushings". I said it means they never found the tumor source for the cortisol but I've been found to have high cortisol in my body. These tests were done when I was off the constant steroids they are pumping into me for asthma. "Why did they tell you all these things, that is silliness" insinuating I am just a fat butt that deserves everything I get." He mutters more shaking his head.
Remember I have lost weight, over the last year. Keep that in mind. The last doctor said I had massively improved as far as stamina etc. . And I get Mr. Wonder Boy of Fat Hatred at my door. He berates me for eating three meals a day. "That's too much." I guess he wants to be as skinny as a 14 year old the rest of his life and is projecting on to me. They tell diabetics to eat even more small meals a day.
He tells me to start taking magnesium, OK fine with that, the last labs were low. He then said "Did you ever have to take iron?", I said "No, I was told I was anemic a few times, but it was mild". He berates me for that, sneering "You were never anemic". Hey buddy!, you asked not me!
OK then the real fun gets started. They attempt to take my blood for the lab tests. The new nurse fails to draw blood so he jumps in. They keep going for the big veins, I said three times, "Take it out of my hand, that is where it works!". Some previous more competent types have succeeded elsewhere, but that is my advice for those who have problems. He is flipping my wrist over in an awkward position and twisting my arm, and then getting mad even at the smallest movement. They try three times. I repeat, "DO THE HAND!". NO ONE has ever failed to draw blood from me before, and I've had it done hundreds of times. I keep thinking, OK, I am one of their most mobile fat patients using their services mostly because my breathing is compromised in hot and cold weather, he has fatter patients to go to or very elderly people who will have more delicate and vulnerable veins, how is that going to work out for THEM?
He refused me thrush medicine, I wanted a refill, of course I was just some crazy woman to him, rather then being believed when I said I need a few more days of it. the thrush is coming back. I guess my only hope, is going to get some yogurt, swishing it around in there and spitting it out, because I am allergic to all dairy for full digestion. Oh I was blamed for the thrush too. I'm on Advair , its listed as a side affect, yes I rinse, but then who believes the patient anymore? Guess when they told me Flovent doesn't cause weight gain, I should have believed them then too.
We got into about emergency antibiotics regarding my cellulitis. I said I need at least to either to have them prescribed immediately, or have an emergency script. When the infections hit, if I take an antibiotic, I can clear the infection up at home in some days, if I do not get antibiotics, I will be in the ER waiting, and that 7 hours can mean a 2 week hospital stay and IV antibiotics instead of cutting things off at the front end. Ive had only one infection this year, and was able to reduce their number--used to be 6-7 times a year but still...... He told me "you can't diagnose your own leg". I said "I've had this problem for 15 years!" He responded, "It could be just a rash", talking to me like I am retarded. He even manages to insult me for having better health, "You stopped having so many leg infections because you lost weight and your diabetes is more under control". Actually my diabetes has always been maintained--I was on Metformin even during pre-diabetes for a year and half, and I had lower sugars some of those years." but hey do not let truth get in the way of a stereotype". Odd that he is abusing me so much, even as I am being a "good" fat person who has lost some weight.
Just the fact I was not listened to was horrified. The guy muttered about my attitude and then I saw him write a few notes about me, I am sure they were bad ones, with a flourished signature underlining his narcissism. The weird jokes about being a "Superman" helping disabled people kind of gave me that hint, at the start of the session.
I called them about three hours later, had to wait to calm down, and said "DO NOT send that doctor back!" The office manager, gave me some quibbles about the "schedule" but says she will call back Monday, I am sure I will be made out to be the problem. If you have any useful advice about how to complain "officially" about a doctor who hates fat people, I am welcome to it.
I almost died years ago because of people like this. Arrogant, uneducated--probably only getting through medical school because of Daddy's money, refusing to listen. I realized this guy would be a danger to me no help at all. God help the other fat housebound people and yeah I will tell them that on Monday!
He arrives at the door, slight in build, probably around 4 inches shorter then me, one of those types of bodies that have never seen an ounce of fat. Lithe, one of those droid types that fill too many coffee shops. Not an independent thought in his head. I say hello, and walk out to open the door.
I get the feeling the guy does not like me, just on sight. What is scary is I know from the other doctors and professionals in the house call services, that there are other fat people and many of them are totally bed bound or wheelchair bound, some even far heavier then me up to even 300 more lbs. If this guy seems annoyed with me and is literally repulsed, how is he going to be with THEM?
He comes in and asks all the questions, basic check up stuff. I say I need a A1c {slipped up and said A1g or something like that but I'm tired} they are ok with that.....
The visit goes on...
He berates me over how much thyroid medicine I am on: "You really are on .475 micro-milligrams of Synthroid, my God!" Like it's my fault and there are people out there ready to mac on synthroid, and grind it up and snort it or something.
He tells me when I told him I was successful in reducing by quite a bit a pretty severe bowel problem by removing all MSG from the diet, [no more puking and digestive pain three times a week] and mention rice a roni as a sample food such as I could not eat [ie can eat normal rice but not processed], says, "What are you doing eating rice a roni, "You're diabetic, starches are bad for diabetics!". That is a lie and half. During my attempts to be gluten free, I had some time where starch was almost totally gone and that month sugars went sky high. But don't expect the brainwashed "geniuses" to listen.
Aggravated that there seems no sign, he ever read my chart, I told him about having PCOS. "PCOS is caused by being fat", he sneers. I retort, "I had brown spots [Ancathosis Nigrosis] by the time I was 12, the periods went poof by 19 even before I was fat. They have proven there is genetic components to PCOS, my grandmother had all the signs". He ignores me.
I tell him about my pseudo-Cushings diagnosis. He is so badly educated he has never heard of pseudo-Cushings. I realize I know more then this guy. He says "I never heard of Pseudo-Cushings". I said it means they never found the tumor source for the cortisol but I've been found to have high cortisol in my body. These tests were done when I was off the constant steroids they are pumping into me for asthma. "Why did they tell you all these things, that is silliness" insinuating I am just a fat butt that deserves everything I get." He mutters more shaking his head.
Remember I have lost weight, over the last year. Keep that in mind. The last doctor said I had massively improved as far as stamina etc. . And I get Mr. Wonder Boy of Fat Hatred at my door. He berates me for eating three meals a day. "That's too much." I guess he wants to be as skinny as a 14 year old the rest of his life and is projecting on to me. They tell diabetics to eat even more small meals a day.
He tells me to start taking magnesium, OK fine with that, the last labs were low. He then said "Did you ever have to take iron?", I said "No, I was told I was anemic a few times, but it was mild". He berates me for that, sneering "You were never anemic". Hey buddy!, you asked not me!
OK then the real fun gets started. They attempt to take my blood for the lab tests. The new nurse fails to draw blood so he jumps in. They keep going for the big veins, I said three times, "Take it out of my hand, that is where it works!". Some previous more competent types have succeeded elsewhere, but that is my advice for those who have problems. He is flipping my wrist over in an awkward position and twisting my arm, and then getting mad even at the smallest movement. They try three times. I repeat, "DO THE HAND!". NO ONE has ever failed to draw blood from me before, and I've had it done hundreds of times. I keep thinking, OK, I am one of their most mobile fat patients using their services mostly because my breathing is compromised in hot and cold weather, he has fatter patients to go to or very elderly people who will have more delicate and vulnerable veins, how is that going to work out for THEM?
He refused me thrush medicine, I wanted a refill, of course I was just some crazy woman to him, rather then being believed when I said I need a few more days of it. the thrush is coming back. I guess my only hope, is going to get some yogurt, swishing it around in there and spitting it out, because I am allergic to all dairy for full digestion. Oh I was blamed for the thrush too. I'm on Advair , its listed as a side affect, yes I rinse, but then who believes the patient anymore? Guess when they told me Flovent doesn't cause weight gain, I should have believed them then too.
We got into about emergency antibiotics regarding my cellulitis. I said I need at least to either to have them prescribed immediately, or have an emergency script. When the infections hit, if I take an antibiotic, I can clear the infection up at home in some days, if I do not get antibiotics, I will be in the ER waiting, and that 7 hours can mean a 2 week hospital stay and IV antibiotics instead of cutting things off at the front end. Ive had only one infection this year, and was able to reduce their number--used to be 6-7 times a year but still...... He told me "you can't diagnose your own leg". I said "I've had this problem for 15 years!" He responded, "It could be just a rash", talking to me like I am retarded. He even manages to insult me for having better health, "You stopped having so many leg infections because you lost weight and your diabetes is more under control". Actually my diabetes has always been maintained--I was on Metformin even during pre-diabetes for a year and half, and I had lower sugars some of those years." but hey do not let truth get in the way of a stereotype". Odd that he is abusing me so much, even as I am being a "good" fat person who has lost some weight.
Just the fact I was not listened to was horrified. The guy muttered about my attitude and then I saw him write a few notes about me, I am sure they were bad ones, with a flourished signature underlining his narcissism. The weird jokes about being a "Superman" helping disabled people kind of gave me that hint, at the start of the session.
I called them about three hours later, had to wait to calm down, and said "DO NOT send that doctor back!" The office manager, gave me some quibbles about the "schedule" but says she will call back Monday, I am sure I will be made out to be the problem. If you have any useful advice about how to complain "officially" about a doctor who hates fat people, I am welcome to it.
I almost died years ago because of people like this. Arrogant, uneducated--probably only getting through medical school because of Daddy's money, refusing to listen. I realized this guy would be a danger to me no help at all. God help the other fat housebound people and yeah I will tell them that on Monday!
"I almost died years ago because of people like this. Arrogant, uneducated--probably only getting through medical school because of Daddy's money" look who is stereo typing now.
ReplyDeleteHey am I perfect?
ReplyDeleteBut lets break this down, medical school today takes big bucks.
My own SIL, had to drop out due to lack of income. One reason we have so many foreign doctors in America, is many regular Americans cannot afford medical school. I would say only 30% of my doctors have been American-born. That's not to diss the foreign doctors who often are good, but the economic factors are running the show.
So are you going to try and tell me that doctors today are all poor and down and out types, who get through medical school collecting cans off the side walk?
Sure there are those who go into hock, with student loans, but even that is limited.
and I did almost die, from these types
ReplyDeleteso I am supposed to sing their praises?
Why?
Most Americans are authoritarian. They worship the "experts" and since health has both become politicized (as well as being seen as a necessary part of being "hot", which is given far too much importance in this society), doctors serve as police, judge, jury, and executioner. No matter what a doctor says and does, they're impervious to criticism. And if a non-authoritarian, compassionate, critical thinker criticizes the poor behavior and decisions of "the expert" , the authoritarians will shame, blame and attack the critical thinker as a hivemind. I've seen it time and time again.
ReplyDeleteMost of these doctors lost their compassion by the second semester of med school. They're not healers. The few that are left are mostly past retirement age and remember better times of house calls and treating patients' pain while seeing them as fellow humans. These days the sicker we are, the more doctors profit. The majority of them don't even see humans as whole, just a collection of parts, like the poultry department. They have that in common with fat fetishists and porn lovers.
My partner's grandmother lived to her late 90s in great health, despite being a lifelong smoker. Her secret? "Avoid doctors whenever possible. No yearly checkups if you feel healthy. If it's not broke, don't fix it."
I'm sorry you had to deal with that sociopath (doctors score very high on sociopathy as a profession). I know, and hate, that feeling when someone looks at you and automatically hates you based on (often wrong assumptions made because of) looks. It's like you lost before you even got to the starting line and should just quit the race entirely.
LOL with your partner's grandmother. I kind of get done what I can medically have to see some of them. I think they weed out the ones with feeling and empathy too in medical school I am dealing with another doctor who is doing the weight lectures with little understanding, I can tell he is one of those bootstrap fellows. I don't need to hear more shame and blame when I am sick. I agree about authoritarian Americans, believe this place is going to collapse from it all.
Delete