Tuesday, July 28, 2015
When God Goes No Contact
This part resonated with me: "In my mind the unforgiveness I was harboring towards my abusers (remember I was angry with them) was a more serious issue with God than the actual abuse perpetrated on me." The world as we know defends the abusers well above any of their victims. The Christian world will give many false messages to ACONs, including telling us "our abusers didn't know any better." One thing I used to hear for years which makes me vomit now, is that they were "trying their best" and "went along with what they knew". All of us ACONs hear that don't we?
Smakintosh is correct that many of us wondered if only we were more charitable and nice maybe we wouldn't have been abused. I thought I was the problem for years as I wrote in my latest forgiveness article. Smakintosh is right these things were not based on anything scriptural. He is right about the modern churches being infected by the teachings of other religions. It's almost like we are to receive good karma from narcs by being "nice" to them. Well it doesn't work that way does it? Most churches fail to teach the truth about evil but God's Word is here for us to warn us about the wicked. God departs from the wicked in the same way we are commanded to depart from them too.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Dear Peeps, what a terrific gif (t). So true. Yeah, and the few times family abuse is even addressed, the preacher will trot out the account of Joseph. It's like the preacher forgets that Joseph was loved greatly by his father - uhm, could it be because Joseph was reliable, unlike his hoodlum elder brothers! Maybe Jacob felt the need to look after Joseph more, since Joseph's mother (Rachael) died giving him birth. Anyway, sermonaudio has lots and lots of solid Biblical sermons, but after a year of listening to many, few and far between is family abuse discussed - and the abusers given a sound rebuke.
ReplyDeleteI only heard one preacher bring up fathers being too harsh, but have never head a sermon on child or other abuses from the pulpit. It makes you wonder since so many of the abusers commit many of the sin. I am sure Joseph's father had his reasons in giving him the nice coat, over the hoodlum brothers.
DeleteI've been thinking on this lately. It seems that if I tell anyone, (and I have regretfully done so, in the past, sigh) well, when I tell them, they are focused on my "poor mom." Oh and that she didn't know any better. Well what about me then? Suppose I didn't know any better and did my best and just kept functioning along the same line as that was taught to me? Is that alright then? Will they console me? Do I have to be an abuser to get any compassion? When Jesus said, it is the sick that needs the physician, I don't believe he was talking about the wicked. They are not sick. They don't need the compassion. The best thing that they need is a good rebuking.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if anyone knows that I grew up with this girl that was sexually molested by 3 of her brothers. I wrote about it. But anyway, she told me that her family didn't know any better, sigh, so we are back to no one ever changing. Well, anyway she called me here about 50 times over a month trying to reach me again. I was thinking she was at least a borderline for doing that, but truth is she is gone too. I mean screwed up, and I believe she had the choice she just chose crazy along with the rest of her kin.
She doesn't call here anymore, but it felt like she was trying to take possession of me, I felt engulfed, and I believe these people are soul suckers for sure.
Next time she calls here I think I may take possession of my soul and just tell her the truth, that she is screwed. It might be fun. But it would be the best thing I could do for her. I think so.
Its better to keep your mouth shut about being abused. I took risk with this blog that was HUGE but it is the price of business I suppose. I have noticed most will side with the abusers. It's scary isn't it. With enough time some who sympathize will throw it back in your face. They always seem to win don't they? How dare you complain about your mother? I have noticed just about everyone defends the wicked [perhaps this goes hand in hand with the worship of the powerful in this society] We are making the social error of displaying some vulnerability but then I am of the Brene Brown school of desiring real relationships and not the fake façade status competitions so many are invested in. Those of us who stand against abusers and refuse to get back in line pay a social price. Probably the girl felt pressure to get back in line even with that horrific abuse, but the price of succumbing to abusers is insanity if not lost of conscience. She's definitely a soul sucker having lived among their kind she became like one of them. Maybe you should just come out and tell her the truth I would. I ran from someone once too who I could tell was fully engulfed by her sick family. They punish the ones who rebel you know which is even sicker if you think about it.
DeleteIt's impossible for me to listen to that they don't know any better tripe. In fact they above all others should know how wrong their behavior is. If they are saying they were abused in the same manner that they are abusing others today. I had an uncle who got scalded by how water back in the day. He didn't use that as an excuse to fling pots of boiling water at people now.
ReplyDeleteI won't abide by it, and told someone, BullCrap, they knew EXACTLY what they were doing and ENJOYED every ever loving minute of it. I think some who excuse abusers definitely probably adapted some of their characteristics even if not as toxic.
DeleteDear Joan and Peeps, the "best" abuser-excuser is the one about having grown up in the 50s, when women had no rIghts. Horse poop, there are plenty of old women still around, who had experienced hard times, but were kind to their children. Beatrice, now with the Lord, had an apathetic mutha, then married a no good rotten excuse-for-a man. One day, he was fixing to hit one of the kids, and that was it. Bea took the kids and left that slimebag. I remember the son saying things about what his mother taught them. It was love, she wanted her kids to know the Lord, and know how to navigate through life.
ReplyDeleteOh I hear that garbage, I also get told how women back in the 50s were taught to NOT express emotions and that's why they were cold icicles from the gates of hell. I don't buy it. I've seen love and other movies from the 50s where people talked to each other like human beings. Even if fiction that just doesn't hold up. Even those in hard times could treat their children well. I am poor and anyone who uses poverty as an excuse to abuse kids is wrong. Beatrice sounds like a good upstanding woman.
DeleteI am old enough to remember the mid 60s, when people did not use foul language in public - and especially around children. A time when men would not tolerate sons who acted and dressed like punks. Yeah, there were bad things going on back then. But are things any better today?
ReplyDeleteThe 60s even with their riots were the candy-days compared to now. People were more respectful of each other. Even the 70s with the hippies and more was a nicer "softer" decade. I am old enough to remember when things were very different and that is painful enough in itself. I consider today far worse.
Delete