Saturday, December 22, 2012

Getting Through December

Can we fast forward to March?

I like Thanksgiving, turkey is a healthy tasty food as well as green bean casserole made dairy free, but can we fast forward through December especially?

This is a hard time of year for me, as the housebound door slams shut, and the days where I can make it out get fewer and fewer to match the more limited light. I am not sure if my wanting to go to sleep by 8:00pm is a sign of worsening seasonal affective disorder but many people go into a would be hibernation this time of year.

Watching these folks go at it every year, gets tiring. How do they have so much money to blow on useless foreign made goods? Perhaps these are these are the folks still with working credit cards, I do not know but the greed fest gets a bit out there. It seems bills are so high now even if you have a good job, you should be saving up some money.

While one wants to reach out to others during the holidays and do what they can, for me December has always been the toughest month of the year. I have to mentally and spiritually prepare for it in prayer. Yes it gets that hard, watching the world go "party", while you are stuck indoors due to unforgiving lungs. This is not easy. This included a family get together where your protestations to have it moved to a more travel friendly month were ignored and realizing your status as the one everyone forgot.

The winter months grind to a complete halt. If I could put myself in a hibernation state, I would do it, and come out sometime the first week of March. Summer I'm housebound but somehow it feels different, because in the summer, there are some cooler days that break things up and there is always the evening..

I know being poor is wearing me out. One can handle being poor and dealing with the day to day stuff, but when you look up and see how the grind has cost you relationships and not having the money to go visit relatives, and just one more reason you get left off the invite lists, it just makes you more depressed. Normal people get to go on vacations, normal people get to go to visit relative's weddings. Ah the sin of envy, I know it's not a good thing.

Winter never has been easy for some of us.


  1. Oh dear, that is a sad state to be in. I am housebound too and much prefer the winter, though I am in Australia and we don't get the snow and blizzards where I live. It's the hot weather that nearly kills me and if it is also humid then I am in a bad way with my respiratory system. I mostly need people to come here to see me, much easier than trying to accomodate my massive bulk any where else. Hugs for you, I know they can't really help your constant struggle, but wanted to say your not alone and I send best wishes.


  2. Hi Jan, thanks for writing. I have a hard time with heat too so that is not an option. If there was a place that stayed in the 60s and 50s that would be heaven. The COPD does not react well to cold or heat. I do have friends who do come visit, I am sorry you are housebound too, thanks for saying I am not alone.