Friday, September 15, 2017
When Did Happiness Become a Contest?
That's a weird thought I had. It's like today you have to prove how happy you are and say things like "I love my life". I do think this is a place where the "think positive" movement went too far. Why not be balanced. I love egg sandwiches, old movies, the beach, art, books, and hate hot weather, leg infections, being broke and oatmeal.
It's another way they want us all to "prove" ourselves. If I am a more melancholic, goth person, isn't that who I am? I am an Aspie for heaven's sake, we analyze everything. Why do I have to change who I am to please someone else? Aren't artists supposed to be emotional?
Anyhow narcissists love to send sarcastic cards. I got this one from one the ex-millionaire friend. It's strange to me. They won't ever apologize or try to patch things up but will focus on how you have to "fix yourself". Why did you bother me in the first place if I never was "good" enough for you or didn't have a terrific enough life? The irony with her, is I shared many things I loved with her from art museums to coloring books to thrift store shopping.
It's a strange card to send to a very disabled woman. I don't believe in "The Secret" philosophies where I can think things into being. Anyhow as far as happiness goes, life becomes far happier with narcissists outside of it. I don't have to listen to endless put downs, or betrayals where I am never defended. There's no more of that cold, dark, icky eggshelly feeling. One thing I hate the most about narcissists, is their never ending message that a person is not "good enough". They always focus on how you have to "change" to please them too.
I wrote on a friendship blog that has some interesting people on it that I want to meet people who are REAL. Don't give me the think positive contingent, give me the real ones, who maybe had a few failures and admit to them too. I meet great people online all the time and have great friends I met online and some I have met in real life too. If I won the Lotto the first thing I would do is take a trip to visit all my online and long distant friends. It is a strange message given in sarcasm, "Create a Life You Love". How is that even defined?
I am realizing around the good friends, they don't make me feel bad this way. They truly care. When an ACON comes out of the fog, you realize the attributes of the good people and how much they mean to you. I can have weaknesses, or unhappy moments and be poor even, and be this overweight and still be valued as a person. I don't have to constantly prove success [didn't I have some success in life becoming an art teacher earlier on?] or happiness. If someone makes me feel like the family did, they have to be gone.