Friday, September 15, 2017

When Did Happiness Become a Contest?


That's a weird thought I had. It's like today you have to prove how happy you are and say things like "I love my life". I do think this is a place where the "think positive" movement went too far. Why not be balanced. I love egg sandwiches, old movies, the beach, art, books, and hate hot weather, leg infections, being broke and oatmeal.

It's another way they want us all to "prove" ourselves. If I am a more melancholic, goth person, isn't that who I am? I am an Aspie for heaven's sake, we analyze everything. Why do I have to change who I am to please someone else? Aren't artists supposed to be emotional?

Anyhow narcissists love to send sarcastic cards. I got this one from one the ex-millionaire friend. It's strange to me. They won't ever apologize or try to patch things up but will focus on how you have to "fix yourself". Why did you bother me in the first place if I never was "good" enough for you or didn't have a terrific enough life? The irony with her, is I shared many things I loved with her from art museums to coloring books to thrift store shopping.

It's a strange card to send to a very disabled woman. I don't believe in "The Secret" philosophies where I can think things into being. Anyhow as far as happiness goes, life becomes far happier with narcissists outside of it. I don't have to listen to endless put downs, or betrayals where I am never defended. There's no more of that cold,  dark, icky eggshelly feeling. One thing I hate the most about narcissists, is their never ending message that a person is not "good enough". They always focus on how you have to "change" to please them too.

I wrote on a friendship blog that has some interesting people on it that I want to meet people who are REAL. Don't give me the think positive contingent, give me the real ones, who maybe had a few failures and admit to them too. I meet great people online all the time and have great friends I met online and some I have met in real life too. If I won the Lotto the first thing I would do is take a trip to visit all my online and long distant friends. It is a strange message given in sarcasm, "Create a Life You Love". How is that even defined?

I am realizing around the good friends, they don't make me feel bad this way. They truly care. When an ACON comes out of the fog, you realize the attributes of the good people and how much they mean to you. I can have weaknesses, or unhappy moments and be poor even, and be this overweight and still be valued as a person. I don't have to constantly prove success [didn't I have some success in life becoming an art teacher earlier on?] or happiness.  If someone makes me feel like the family did, they have to be gone.

24 comments:

  1. Easy for her to say. She has money!!!

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    1. LOLOLOL Yeah easy for her to say. I know in some out of touch circles where their finances offer endless options, they do see life as something you can "choose" or script according to your choices. I'm not having a bad day I went to book club with nice friend, did I "create a life I love"? LOL When I make some soup or take a poo, am I doing the same? Sorry I am in a weird mood :p

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    2. Good point, Five Hundred Pound Peep, on the person with finances having endless options of a life they can choose ...
      Now I wonder why some of the poorest nations in the world (like Mongolia) have the lowest rates of narcissism. Could it be that one room yurt living where everyone has to depend on each other makes for more empathy?

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    3. I was in Mexico and they described our way of life to theirs. He said we live to work and they work to live

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    4. Their life is probably far more sane. I think even poorer people enjoy life far more then Americans do. It's all about work here, the joy of life has been crushed.

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    5. HI Lise, Yes millions of dollars makes the choices far more expansive. I agree about Mongolia. There is more group connection and social connections. Now we got the Social Darwinism and everyman for themselves philosophies, this place has gotten so extreme.

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  2. Since














































































    Since I posted Powder Finger. That ought ta do it

















    Since I posted powder finger

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  3. still trying to puzzle out what q is saying....
    but also it's ironic she sent that card since, without meaning to, she was telling you to ditch her - i mean "create a life you love" does necessarily involve getting rid of the people who make you feel like crap. i think this whole "create a life you love" thing has put a lot of weird pressure on millenials. like you say, it's not enough to live your life and find pleasures in some place and know there will be pain in others, it's about being facebook-happy all the time. frankly, when i see someone saying "i love my life" on social media, to me it signals that someone is feeling deeply miserable on some level.

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    1. Not sure what q is saying either. Come explain to us q

      Yeah it has the message ditch her, because if I am going to "create" a life I love, that would mean getting away from cold people and narcissists. Yeah get rid of those who treat you like crap. I think it has a lot of pressure on millennials and others, like life is all of our choosing? It's crazy. I sometimes wonder if Facebook is helping this stuff along, everyone is competing with their lives, whose got the best one, whose the happiest? Yeah when I see that on social media, I am thinking they got to be depressed or are busy hiding some major sadness.

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  4. Wow...just wow!This card is just the narc's attempt to triumph with the last word,the parting fanfare and flourish of being right, so thoughtful and enlightened! LOL! Now that you know the full shamelessness of this person, just "return to sender" in the future. I deeply detest these Hallmark pieties and the precious b*****s who send them. Let's hear it for the Goth girls!! If "When did happiness become a contest"isn't a meme or t shirt, it should be! Love ya, Peep!

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    1. I think it is a parting shot with the last word, the card just had the same message inside, no message from her just a signed name. "I'm right, you're wrong". Yeah I suppose I didn't expect much else. LOL yeah for Goth girls. Thanks, yes it would make a T-shirt saying especially now. :)

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  5. my shoulder is broken and the message is that it didn't help my non existent typing skills

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    1. Wow, what happened? Damn. Sorry you hurt your shoulder.

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  6. crap - hope you're feeling better soon q - sorry to tease you about your broken-shoulder post :(

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  7. Burn, fold, spindle or mutilate this card to welcome the Autumnal Equinox! :D

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  8. You are "creating a life you love...". One of the first steps you're taking is dropping a pampered know it all who watches too much Oprah who is just another new age victim. God help these people when the finger of time and circumstance finally hit them in the ass. Its not going to be pretty.

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    1. Thanks :) Years ago she wasn't so much into the Woo-Woo think positive-Oprah garbage. I think this has come from a newer friend. She is in serious denial about life. Her money is nice but it doesn't prevent all bad things from happening.

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    2. "I don't have to listen to endless put downs, or betrayals where I am never defended. There's no more of that cold, dark, icky eggshelly feeling. One thing I hate the most about narcissists, is their never ending message that a person is not 'good enough'. They always focus on how you have to 'change' to please them too." -- yes

      The thing about the greeting card phrase above is that it is vapid. No depth. And in a weird way, it pits people, people who feel that way vs the rest of us who only feel that way some of the time.

      I'll take a Martin Luther King quote any day over "the happiness brigade" quotes.

      :-)

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  9. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcH-trr75d8 count me out too

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  10. have you noticed that feeding your carnivore pet, meat has become a barbaric act? my grand mother used to get bones from the butcher shop and toss them to her dogs. now I think pet food is reserved for old and sick people

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    1. Yeah I find that weird, vegetarian dog food. Probably make the dogs sick. Agree about the pet food.

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