Monday, May 7, 2018

Peep Fiction #1

I tried my hand at some fiction to describe my life earlier on. With the graphic zines, I figured this was a redundant enterprise and focused on expressing things in drawn form,  but kept the writing and decided I would share it here. Names have been changed to protect the innocent and GUILTY.
Budgie is born with a giant smile on her face and is happy to be alive. Things got worse as she has to deal with Queen spider and her minions later than early days she is very happy The origins of Five Hundred Pound Peep are dubious so thus Budge is shown popping out of the egg in “The Budge is born”. Also called Peep, Budge or Budgie, Budgie is eager to see the world, and is happy enough in that early time. 

Then things get a bit more dicey, as Peep deals with Queen Spider [Mrs.Spyder and Mr. Spyder, who aren't very nice to little children]. Midge and John had children believing they were supposed to in those pre-child free movement days, and definitely were overwhelmed and annoyed by the whole ordeal. Only weirdos didn't procreate. Children cost money, children made noise! Such was the outcome of wanton breeding with little thought behind it. Their female middle child was an unwanted extra. Mr. Spyder already had his son who looked just like him and Queen Spider, her obedient Mini-Me [Mimi] who hung on her every minute. Why were they having to take care of this burden, the child who embarrassed them by being afraid of everything and hiding and for being too smart and asking too many questions? For some reason, some people who should never have had children, have too many, and the extras are thrown away. This is something inexplicable in our world.

Supposedly Midge laying back and thinking of England, fertilized the egg that brought the yapping little presence who stared down two dark triad black souls with her shiny big eyes.  Budgie annoyed Midge. She would observe Budgie looking at her, why does that little girl always have to nose into everything? Why does she always want to find things out?  She was mad because she could read by the age of 3. The little girl seemed to condemn her. Midge thought inside, “How I hate her”. 

One day Budgie was watching the tv talk show Donahue, and laughing, and Midge got angry, that's not a show suitable for little children, how can she even understand what is going on? As Mini-Me Mimi laid on the couch, Midge grabbed Budge by the scruff of her neck and dragged her upstairs to her bedroom, and opened the door and shoved her in, slamming the door and locking it.  It was time to lock the little brat up yet again! John had said “Don't let the neighbors find out, that you are keeping Budgie locked up in there!” “I won't!” said Midge. “I will threaten her upon pain of death, so she doesn't scream out the window like she did last time! I had to tell Mrs. Humperdink and Mrs Dooray she was playing a game with her sister, to cover up why she was screaming like a banshee! Wow she pisses me off. Can we give her back? Ah that won't look good. “

Budgie cried and cried, she was tired of being locked in her room. It was hot and boring. She wanted to go outside, she looked at the rooms pink walls and a few books scattered about and started to worry about when she'd get to eat next. “Mommy” had failed to feed her lunch and she knew it was already late afternoon. Would she be able to get a glass of water? Would they hit her if she peed in trashcan again? Budgie noticed a hair pin that had fallen out of Midge's hair, when she had been in her room last, and she started to pick at the lock, it held the door fast but it was a cheap bedroom lock. She picked and picked, and then all of a sudden she heard a click, and she was able to creak the door open but was too afraid to leave, she knew that would earn her a definite smacking if not an out right beating. She closed the door shut again but felt happy knowing she could get out if there was a fire. Getting out meant freedom.

On a later day, Budge sat in her favorite place on the front stoop of the house, she could hear planes flying by overhead and would imagine herself flying to get away. The drone of the airplane engines above spoke of escape. The Spyder's didn't understand a little girl that just wanted to sit and think and it made them angry. Thinking was a waste of time, doing and making money and having a perfect house and yard is what mattered!  Budge pondered her escape, “These people hate me, I do not belong here, there's gotta be somewhere I can go!” 

A few weeks earlier, her and Mr. Spyder had gone to the hardware store, and she realized that this man who called himself her “father” did not love her, so she probably wasn't even his child. She started screaming to be rescued. “This man has kidnapped me! Save me!” Mr. Spyder scooped her up as she struggled and squirmed to run away. “He is not my real father!” Worried strangers gathered around. John's face grew red, and he grew hot with anger, he wanted to unleash his wrath on the bratty hellcat putting him at risk of being dragged off to prison. The store manager approached, “Sir, you will have to step aside so we can see what is going on!” He followed him to his office, yanking screaming and crying Budgie, who still cried for rescue. He wanted to beat her right then and there, but knew that would not look good to others. He'd rip her hair out or hold her head under the water in the pool a minute too long later.

For now he had a jam to get out of which meant telling these strangers, that Budgie was really his daughter. He sat down in the Formica chair across from the manager's desk, “She really is my daughter, my name is John Spyder. “ Here I will let you call her mother, to vouch for me.” The manager called Mrs. Spyder who answered with a sweet smiling hiding her rage at that troublesome Budge. For years Mr. Spyder would tell this story to his friends, “That ungrateful brat, she almost got me arrested!” The friends would nod and smile but no one ever asked why Budgie wanted to escape so badly. 

Budgie had gotten a beating when she got home that night, not enough to put her in the hospital, the Spyders knew good government jobs vanished if you had to drag a beaten child to the hospital with black eyes, bruises and broken bones but enough to make their message clear, “You better be quiet in front of others”. They smacked her, and pulled her hair until she cried. 

Budgie knew she wanted to run away, she wanted to find a new place to go and be. Daddy was in the back yard busy hitting Johnny for leaving toys in the lawn while he tried to mow. Mommy was upstairs, cleaning with Mimi. Peep grabbed her brother's red wagon. She snuck quietly into the house hoping Mommy would not hear her grabbing the cheese slices out of the fridge or the box of Vanilla wafers out of one of the bottom cupboards. She grabbed Raggedy Ann out of her bed, knowing she could not leave her behind, and ran down to put her things in the wagon and leave. 

The Spyders lived in a suburban housing complex in the middle of nowhere. It was soul-less suburbia that was out beyond the reaches of the moon. The area offered one pool and community center, an elementary and high school and one IGA and not much else among the dairy farms. Mr. Spyder drove 40 miles one way to his big city computer government job. He was gone a lot, and also taught at one college and took classes.

Budgie remembered one school trip to do tie-dyes where she cried over not having a white t-shirt to dye like everyone else and Mommy buying corn from the farmers, and also the spicy garlic bologna made at the IGA but most of her world encompassed endless streets of bi-levels and ranchers that all looked the same. She often got lost, trying to find friend's houses knocking on the wrong doors but she could find her house easily since it was on the corner and Daddy had put a giant white fence around their yard. 

Budgie walked slowly, she didn't want the rattling of the wagon to get Daddy's attention, he was still yelling now something about tools at her brother. He hadn't noticed her in a long time. She walked away down the street, past the house across the street on the corner, down the way from the Dooray's the farthest Mommy ever allowed her to go. She kept walking, the houses seemed to go on forever at the Flowery Seasons housing complex. There seemed to be no end to them. She got tired and rubbed her feet sitting on one curb. The sun beat down. 

She started to cry, the roads of suburban houses stretched as far as she could see. There was no stores, or place to sit down except the curb, and no restrooms either. Budgie thought, “I better go back, because I don't see me making it anywhere”. She ran and walked back. It took some time. Daddy was still mowing the lawn and her brother had disappeared, maybe down the street himself or next door to Chipper's house. She went inside. Mommy was watching TV. No one had noticed she had left. 

Sometime later, Mommy came and said “I am sending you to your aunts for the summer” The rest of us are going to take a vacation. My best friend Sister Jude is going to take you on an airplane, and drop you off at your aunt's house". Budge found it weird her family planned to take a trip without her, but did not protest, she wanted to escape after all. Maybe she would get to have another family. She had met her aunt a few times, and thought things may be fun. Her aunt had come to visit before with other relatives, and they had seen fire works and area museums. Her aunt Janet was always interested in everything and smiled a lot. She enjoyed life, unlike Midge who spent hours cleaning the kitchen. Budgie was excited about leaving. It was a dream to finally get away when she had run away.

Mommy seemed fed up and had gotten angrier and angrier with her. One day Budgie had gone into the bathroom to show her, a book she was reading. Mommy was cleaning off the sink, and Budgie said, “Look I can read this Dr. Seuss book, A Cat in the Hat”, isn't this funny?”, and Mommy took one look at her and said, “Leave me alone!” and then shoved her hard. Budge ran crying into her bedroom. 

Mommy hated her, of this she was sure. Sometimes Budgie wondered if she was adopted. Mommy had three covered baby books covered in white satin, one for her, her brother and sister. She noticed while her sisters and brother's had a lock of hair tape into the front page and multiple pictures including ones of them as very little babies, her baby book was nearly empty. There was one picture of her at around 7-9 months old but nothing earlier. Budgie would say to her brother, who was a year older, “I think they adopted me!” Budgie called her “mother” Mommy but the word felt funny. 

Mommy was always angry and didn't treat her like other girls in the neighborhood mothers who seemed happy with them and bought them pretty dresses. Normal mothers sometimes got irritated or told Budge or her friend to go play upstairs or outside, and sometimes drank wine and got overly attached to their soap operas, but didn't shove them, or pull their hair and they sometimes smiled and looked happy and talked to them instead of yelling at them. Mrs Spyder did a lot of housework and watched soap operas all day but was angry and pissed off all the time. There was never any kisses, hugs or nice pats on the head. Mrs. Spyder considered her an annoyance and a burden. Budgie learned to hide out as much as possible but Mrs. Spyder never left her alone enough either.

One day Budgie was outside in the backyard playing when she went by the fence and she overheard her mother talking to a neighbor lady down the street. “That little bitch is too smart for her own good!”. Budgie realized with horror, Mommy was talking about her. She felt scared inside, and a pit started forming in her stomach. “She is too weird!” Mrs. Spider spat out. The friend while looking shocked nodded and pretended to agreed, “Your daughter is not normal.” “I don't know what to do”, Mrs Spider said, “she is impossible”. Budgie sat back and felt even more afraid. Her mother hated her so much! 

Budgie wasn't sure why Mommy hated her so much.  She didn't like Mommy that much either. She scared her. Her friend Teresa's mother always seemed to like her and told her she was very smart. Mrs. Dooray too. Another neighborhood lady said it was great Peep could read already and made a joke about little pitchers having big ears and this pitcher knowing way too much. 

Budgie's visit to her aunt was not the first time she'd been sent away from home. Budgie had been sent to live in her cousin's bright pink bedroom when she was even younger. Her memories were vague but she remembered one grandparent, her aunt, and her weird balding husband, and hiding a lot in the upstairs. Her time there didn't seem very pleasant either.  They seemed drunk all the time. One grandfather always seemed to grabbing her. He put a wig on her head.  Her Aunt Maybelline cackled and giggled and seemed fake. The adults scared her. Her brother was there too but seemed to ignore her a lot. She remembered her sister on the couch saying “I can't walk”, and her parents being frantic and then suitcases were packed and there they were after her sister was put in the hospital.

Mrs. Spyder's best friend was a nun, she was one of those modern nuns who did not wear habits, but Budgie had to call her “sister”. She wore sensible sweaters and lots of black skirts. Later she would leave the convent but back then she was SISTER. Mommy said she worked with bishops and Cardinals and was very important and had multiple advanced degrees. She seemed nice enough to Budgie.

One day Budgie told Sister Jude that her parents were mean to her, hit her, and locked her in her room. Sister Jude, just laughed, “Oh you little kids make up stories, your parents love you very much”. Budgie liked it when Sister was there, because Mommy and Daddy would act nicer, they wouldn't yell so much and wouldn't slap her. Budgie realized Sister was kind of like Mommy when she burst out crying on the plane because her ears hurt and she could not hear. She was irritated with her. Otherwise, Sister Jude was nice, but she was never going to rescue Budgie. 

Budgie's aunt lived in a rented white bungalow out in a rural area. Across the street were farms and endless cornfields, same as Budgie's grandmother's house which wasn't far away. Aunt J was young and hip, and had long black hair she wore like an Indian and wore beads and moccasins. Mrs. Spider wore her hair in a helmet hairdo and mannish clothing and polyester pants, but Aunt Janet looked like a model and sometimes wore dresses and long leather boots and belt buckles. Aunt Jane had a baby 6 months before. Her husband who was Budgie's uncle who'd go to New Mexico years later to “find himself” and write a book on New Age Affirmations.They had married straight out of high school. 

Their house was straight out of the 1970s with orange counters and in one corner a Indian rattan chair with a huge round disc-like back. Aunt Janet stayed home to take care of her baby while her husband worked. The living room held her newly purchased black leather couch. She made a tidy welcoming comfortable home. Budgie and Aunt Janet spent a lot of time outdoors. There was a circle driveway in front of the house, and a  broken down shed that had a very large garden next to it.  Aunt Janet. loved plants and they blossomed under her care. She had huge broccoli and cauliflower plants, Budgie loved their huge green and white roundness, big flat leaves and crisp smell.

Mr. Spyder hated Budgie's aunt and uncle and would yell about “the Hippies”. Mr. Spyder looked just like brunette Archie Bunker and yelled like him too except he wasn't married to a simpering Edith but a tough as nails Midge. Mr. Spyder was into computers, cars and repairs and dressing like the actors on the show the Madmen. Aunt Janet was into art, health foods and Native American pottery, crafts and culture. She loved camping and buying dream catchers. Budgie bonded with her. At times she would tell Budgie, “Be quiet the baby is sleeping” and other reminders but she made Budgie nice meals and gave her fun things to do while helping in the garden. The days passed by pleasantly. Budge loved her new life. 

The summer proceeded. Mrs.Spyder had been vague about how long Budgie was going to stay but months passed. Budgie went on trips with her aunt and baby to visit the dam, the woods, some museums and other relatives. They visited the neighbors across the street who owned Great Danes, as tall as Budgie. She would play with her baby cousin, and would read her Peanuts comic strips and started her sketchbook where she drew herself as “Lucy” and the other Peanuts kids, Linus, Charlie Brown, Lucy and Pig Pen. Aunt Janet encouraged her reading and drawing talents. 

One day, Budgie had Aunt Janet say she may have to go back home. Budgie said directly, “I want to stay here and live with you!” Tears sprung to her eyes as she begged her aunt, “Please let me stay, I won't be too much trouble!” “Don't send me back there.” Budgie didn't know why she couldn't stay. Mrs. Spyder was happier most likely. Budgie was happier. Aunt Janet and Uncle Rickie and baby cousin Arnie seemed happy to have her as a member of the family, “Why did she have to leave?” Years later her brother would tell her, “You made Mom really mad, when you told everyone you wanted to live with Aunt Janet for good!” Budgie responded, “Why didn't she let me?” 

When Budgie returned “home” she could tell Mrs. Spyder was really mad. Mommy was more livid and gave her mean looks. She knew she was going to be made to pay for choosing her aunt and letting other family members know about it. At 5 years old she was already screwed. When Mommy wanted revenge, the smirks were gone, and her green eyes got colder and harder. Budgie hoped she would live through the week. 

Mommy had cleaned out her bedroom and gotten rid of all her old things, there was new white furniture with pretty flowers on it. Mommy took her suitcases into her and her sister's bedroom, “Look I got you both a new bedroom set, don't you like it?” Budgie responded, “It's nice but I wanted to stay with Aunt Janet!” Mommy got really mad and slapped her hard, “What's wrong with you?” and stormed out of the room locking the door as Budgie cried. The furniture was nice, and Mommy had bought her sister new little glass animals that looked interesting and she wanted some, but she missed her other life. 

Mrs. Rice was a teacher that was kind to Budgie. When young Budgie could read very early and she did well in school, it was a source of some comfort in an other wide harsh world. Books from the time of Dr. Seuss and Charles Schultz had become Budgie's escape. That year, she had an open class room and did her lessons on blue SAT cards. Her teacher was encouraging her to study at her own pace and she believed in creativity. This is when Budgie started sharing her drawings with her classmates too.

Mrs. Spyder put Budge and her shorter and thinner sister into ballet class, every week on Saturday morning, they would go and practice. Budgie was the biggest girl in the class, and a head taller then all the other girls her age. Ballet was the last activity a fat clumsy child on the autistic spectrum should have been placed in. Their teacher was thin, and young. and a lot of the activities seemed to include spinning around and putting legs up on bars. Mimi enjoyed the activities while Budgie found some of it fun, the teacher seemed frustrated with her a lot telling her, that she needed to “follow directions” and “only bad girls didn't listen””. Mrs. Spyder said all the time girls are supposed to be pretty, petite and slender and Budgie was none of the above, and should have been born a boy. 

Budgie was not a thin gazelle,who could kick lithe legs several feet into the air, there was no appearing to float, or giant jumps into the air. She got dizzy just turning around once. She would trip and sprained her ankle almost every week.

Once there, the Spiders told her it was time for rehearsal and she had to get dressed in this white lacy ballet dress, and go with her class on stage. Budgie was not happy about this. She got nervous and cried,  “I don't know my lines.” She knew this stage was not a pleasant place for girl like her. Her parents tossed her into the back seat of their midnight blue 1967 Chevy Bel Air station wagon and drove to the community center for the show. Budge ran out of her mother's grip and found a bunch of boxes to hide in. Mrs. Spyder was lived and muttered “How dare this girl embarrass me in front of my community”

Mimi  had already done her dance show with her age group the week before, and it had been a success. Mrs. Spider like a stage mother from hell threw Budgie out onto the stage. Terrified and frozen, she forgot her props-the flowers that each dancer held. She remember her dance steps but forgot to smile. The Spyders turned to each other, in disgust and decided any investment in Budgie was a waste of time. She didn't make them look good.

The Spyders moved to a new town, it was a rich suburb next to a huge metro city known for lawyers and corrupt politicians. The bicentennial colonial style was in full swing and 1776 was in the air. It was the year when the Spyders moved from the oddly isolated housing development in the middle of nowhere with just an IGA a few miles away to a more established town with a library, malls, and things to do. Budgie found some friends, but remained an outcast shy and quiet, and went for public school kids in her neighborhood and Vietnamese refugee kids, who were more understanding to those to outsiders to American culture. Budgie would eat spicy meat and rice out of bowls at their houses, and listen to their parents speak Vietnamese. For some reason her Vietnamese friends loved Jerry Lewis, something she never understood or got.

The favoritism for her sister had increased ten fold. Mimi could do nothing wrong. She was the little angel, always neat and perfectly dressed. Mommy didn't care that she got Cs and Ds in school after all Mimi had been sick and got behind. Mommy criticized Budgie for sleeves that were never in the right place.

Budge and Mimi got up for school. Budgie wished she could sleep all day. Mommy was always calling her lazy and yelling at her. “Why are your legs and butt so much fatter then other girls?” Budge felt confused as to why she was so fat. The other girls ate candy, cookies, Frito's, and drank chocolate milk and orange Fay-go soda.  Unlike other girls, she had to deliver newspapers for an hour and half every afternoon and Saturday and Sunday morning on her bicycle, so when teachers told her exercise was supposed to make you lose weight, Budgie couldn't believe it!

Mrs. Spyder ruled the refrigerator with an iron fist, not one morsel passed out of there without her notice. Mrs. Spyder would bellow through the house if a chicken leg went missing out out of a whole bucket or if Budge somehow managed to snatch one slice out of a 100 piece box of Kraft cheese. While meat and potato dinner portions were generous enough Budgie's house was not a place of any free snacking. Mrs. Spider even bought padlocks to snap on the front of the freezers, because Budge's brother Johnny Jr. loved ice cream and would sneak eat it with a spoon right out-of-the-box. 

The Spyder children were given the same nutritionally void food daily. So for breakfast, they had some insulin resistance creating sugary cereal. Budgie's choice was Life cereal and Mimi would stick by Honey nut Cheerios for the next 40 years. Lunch was three Chips Ahoy cookies in a plastic bag, a garlic bologna sandwich with iceberg lettuce, later switched to leafy green lettuce as the family fortunes rose, and and a stack of 30 or so Pringles, and/or  Lays potato chips. Carrots and celery sticks would make an occasional appearance but whenever Mrs. Spyder was upset over Budgie's weight, she'd cut her sandwich in half.

At times, weird foods would appear in the house for Daddy to eat, when heart problems forced on the Pritikin diet. The low fat craze was just getting started and weights would skyrocket in America. During Friday's during Lent, the baloney sandwich would be swapped out for tuna fish mixed with mayonnaise and celery. Back then Budgie was not allergic to potatoes and fish. 

Budgie got up and was running late, today was a carrot sticks and celery and half a sandwich day. Budge went into the kitchen, her sister  Mimi already being up for some time was busy scarfing down her gleefully smiling yellow goldfish crackers. No one else in the house was allowed to touch them.

Mrs. Spyder told Budgie, “You are getting so fat, it's horrible, you can live without breakfast since you are so late and would not get out of bed.” Budgie cried, “I'm hungry”, her stomach was growling full force. Budge was hungry all the time. She hated how skinny kids could eat three squares a day with maybe one snack thrown in and not be punished all the time. Their bodies were nice to them, they weren't the ENEMY. They could be who they were. They could do cartwheels and climb on jungle gyms and be happy. Their mommies didn't hate them. 

Budgie and Mimi made their way to school. St. Anne's Catholic school was right across the street. The kids already were laughing when Peep came by, it made her nervous ever since she hit the third grade, the kids had gotten meaner. She used to be more normal and was pretty much ignored back then. She missed those days. Teasing went up and down with body weight. Third grade brought more curves, a bigger stomach and thighs, Budgie was sunk. 

Budgie felt angry, why didn't they ever leave her alone, it sucked they were always picking at her, and even if she cussed them out or threw a fit or ignored them nothing worked to stop them. The adults seemed to agree with the bullying and never stopped it. She would beg teachers after school but Budge would be told, “You need to ignore it, they look for a reaction, you know.” Budgie would remain silent and totally block out the mocking, she would pretend she was someone else and not their target, but it never ever stopped them. It made it worse. Being a robot didn't work and fighting back didn't either. What was she supposed to do?

One girl as she crossed the front parking lot sneered “Tub o' Lard!”.The boys always talked about her big butt and legs which made Budgie very self conscious. She hated boys, who always seemed to be even skinnier, while being the biggest pigs eating whatever they wanted. A few girls joined the “lard” girl, and started laughing and pointing. Budgie ran behind the school building, and hid and the bell rang and she didn't line up with her stupid class. “Why did they always make you line up at school like you were a stupid puppet?“ she thought. 

Softly Budge sang the lyrics of Pink Floyd's “Another Brick in the Wall” “We don't need no education, we don't need no thought control”......She sat on the bench and leaned her head back. All the kids were gone, she enjoyed the silence. Ten minutes later she walked into class, Sister Cornelia was angry that she was so late as Billy the bully went on about earthquakes, saying “Boom” with every step she took. She wished she was really an earthquake and could put him under a giant pile of rubble. 

Sister Cornelia assigned problems in math. Budge hated math, which was not like reading or history where she excelled. Instead of doing her math problems, she got out her latest Stephen King novel and hid it behind her math text book. “Screw this class”, Budge thought. She thought Carrie was a wimp to get beaten up in the gym shower and what was a tampon? At the end of the book all hell broke loose. Carrie would have her day.

Budgie closed her eyes and imagined lighting the classroom on fire with her mind. She didn't want to take anyone out like Carrie, but wanted her classmates to finally show some respect. They would run screaming as their desks burned in shock at her newly gained powers. Sister Cornelia interrupted her day dream. The nuns didn't like her choice of horror novels and weird fascination with Charles Addams comic books, she checked out old ones from the 1950s from the public library. They were always confiscating her books, even once swooping up a copy of “Late Great Planet Earth” , and lecturing her parents about Budgie's choices in books. The only freedom Budgie had was in reading so she was sick of the penguins and their endless rules. 

Budgie was sent to the corner, like always. Mary Ann in the row in front of her starting to have a nose bleed. Sister Cornelia had to take her to the nurse. This gave her a 5 minute reprieve from being watched by her teacher. As the obedient class continued with their math problems, Budge ran into the cloakroom. It was dark in there but not too dark to see. Her classmates gym shoes, coats and lunch bags were all lined up. The smell of gym socks and bologna sandwiches free of refrigeration let out an interesting aroma. Budgie's stomach growled even harder from that morning, and she had the thought, “I bet there's some tasty sandwiches in here, maybe even some with cheese!” Budgie grabbed Billy the bully's lunch first, it was time for some pay back. He had a ham and cheese sandwich and his Mom had packed a giant dill pickle too. 

Budgie thought of all the kids who were always making fun of her, it was time for some sweet revenge. Budgie took a bite of his sandwich and wolfed down half of it. Crossing this line, Budgie started going through lunch bags for the most interesting food. Anna had a hard-boiled egg, Yum! She took a few sips of Martin's thermos with a tasty tomato soup in it. With her hunger abated, she kept thinking about all those skinny kids abusing her and thought, “If I can't eat in peace, neither can they!”

She tossed down the rest Billy's lunch and squished it. Food and lunch items poured out of the cloakroom, classmates came running. Sister Celia had only been gone for a five minutes, the class was in a giant uproar. Budgie was fed up and ready to fight and start punching and so she did. She was beyond pissed. She grabbed her classmate's hair, she saw red and fought 10 kids at once. Sister Celia came back and was in shock. Budgie had destroyed her classroom. Sister Celia ran down the hall crying for other teachers and they came and dragged Budgie away kicking and screaming. She almost got expelled, if the Spyders didn't pay tuition and donated lots of money to the church, Budgie would have been in public school the next day.

 Mrs Spyder never defended Budge, if anyone was going to pick on Budgie, it was going to be her and the others were just adjuncts to the big tear-down. Budge became a budding atheist as Sister Helen told her that God was unhappy with her and on the side of her mocking classmates. What could be done? The nun recoiled as Budgie shouted, “There is no God!” and the shocked nun muttered about possessed children under her breath.

Summer finally began and Budgie escaped her babysitter. The Spiders kept her penned up as tight as a lab rat except when she was put to work delivering newspapers for 2-3 hours every afternoon and every weekend morning. Babysitters meant blessed freedom. Peep able to go for miles on her bike from all the newspaper delivering wanted to see the world away from her school and route. She escaped into the giant city park with big woods, and a stream, it was almost like being in the wilderness with no one around. She was glad. She dreamed of the day, she could escape for good.


  1. Family vaca? Yeah, a man named David was left behind, while Dad and his seven older sons went to the sacrifice (1 Samuel 16). Ya think that was the first time young David was excluded from family activities? So much in the Scriptures about the damage the Spyders do to people...about every time or two I read, there's someone head-gaming someone else. Head-gamers say they read...yeah, talk is cheap. Churchians make me want to vomit.

    1. Yeah disinvites happen to scapegoats, sure his family scapegoated David too in the Bible. He got a short end of a stick for a long time. Well Smakintosh talked about the discussions in scripture of the narcs having their way in scripture. I suppose the Bible contains many aspects of human life. Too many head games. Yes talk is cheap.

  2. Beautiful, heartbreaking and funny. The reader can relate and remember their own adventures in being "the other." Our sadness is lessened in being able to share it and find the humour in it too. Peep, to this day my heart brightens whenever I see a playhouse, a For Rent sign, jeeze, even a big garden shed because it means ESCAPE! I feel a surge of magick and wondrous possibility because I'm always "running away from home" even at the age of - gasp! - 63! Lol So glad you had Aunt Janet. With any luck we all had one magick person that provided an escape and introduced us to things we'd love throughout our lives.

    1. Thanks, anon I have more "fiction" to post later too. LOL Yes sad to say too many are treated as "Others". I am glad you could see the humor in this too. :) I was trying to have fun with it when I wrote it. I agree about the play houses, for rents and garden sheds. Escape is always good....I make jokes about "running away from home" and "bills". LOL I am glad I had Aunt Janet too. She did provide an escape and a time I looked back on to sustain me.

  3. What was wrong with your sister's legs that time? Did she have some kind of health problem?

    1. She had a disorder that gave her a stroke [there was no permanent damage later] It has no relation to my other health disorders.