Thursday, August 11, 2011

Part II: Me and The Size Acceptance Ideologues

Years ago on a few message boards regarding size acceptance, I used to get in trouble there too.

It was pretty much the same thing. Hey this is my website at least and can speak my mind without being censored though they'll wipe every comment quicker then any 1984 civil servant rewriting history for Big Brother.

You know one thing that isn't easy in this world is holding your ground when the group, tells you how very wrong you are and lacking in every positive attribute they can think of. All I know is to go their way, I am supposed to suspend reality itself and live in some sort of fantasty world. I probably have stepped on a few toes, with the two sides against the middle argument, the whole LOVE YOUR FAT side, actually helping the FAT HATER side OUT. Even one poster posted some stuff where she kind of lost me, she had good thoughts to share too.... I do not buy the premise that I have to prove how self-loving I am or not to have others give me worth, my worth comes from God, which I know even naming God, may give some of the hyper-liberals of size acceptance a few shudders, but there it remains. In other words, how come, when you try to get people to "think" deeper about this stuff, they always want to slap you with the "you have too low self esteem" 2 x 4? I guess because it works on a lot of people.

I *think* this could be about me. Maybe it isn't and hopefully I'm wrong. I like the blogger, she has interesting thoughts on freedom I find enjoyable. I'm a bit confused on this stuff, what is "healthy weight mysticism"? Some of the weird terms throw me off. Am I crazy to deem 700lbs-500lbs as being "unhealthy"? Stop the world from spinning I want to get off!

A fat person, or former fat person, buying into the ‘healthy weight’ mysticism is not ground-breaking.

In fact? It’s downright mainstream.

A fat person, or former fat person, blaming themselves for how our culture (mis)treats fat people and (mis)characterizes the fat experience is not ground-breaking. We are (mis)fits, after all, in that we are outliers, living in a world built for those who are smaller than we are. Self-blame for nonconformity is such a normal social response that it hasn’t seen a ground-breaking since Genesis.

What does she mean by self-blame? Didn't she read the rest of the blog, when I have shared how I got to be where I am at? And what does she mean by "mischaracterize the fat experience"? Does she even understand or even guess at what life at the higher weights could be? I guess if you do not follow the party line, you are automatically self-hating. How strange, well they know how to manipulate arguments don't they. If anything wanting to stay alive and desiring that MORE IS DONE for FAT PEOPLE beyond the FAILED pathways, I think shows more self-love and love for others then anything else.

As for non-conformity, who is the conformist, the one who stands with the crowd or the one who takes the heat, making a solitary stand? Let's not forget the diet mongers, weight loss surgery types and "thin to win" people aren't giving me any high fives either. According to these types, you'd think I had signed a Weight Watchers contract or something.

A fat person, or a former fat person, coveting the higher status granted by a smaller pants-size is such a foundational part of our culture that it supports a $60 billion-dollar (and growing) industry, not to mention providing employment for bored pseudo-science journos, teevee doctors, washed up celebrities, professional snarks, and any dieter in possession of a word processor.

Forget status, I just want to be able to walk a mile one day and to see my nieces and nephews grow up.

Also considering that 60 billion dollar industry, I've taken issue with them MANY TIMES on this blog. I think they profit off failure and repeat customers which is why the wheel keeps turning, but then I do not want to complicate things for some of these angry readers.

In summary: trashing a lifestyle you fear and failed at (body acceptance) while giving lipservice to some kind of bullshit concern for others under the guise of promoting venerable Healthistic ideals and body-driven moral imperatives isn’t ground-breaking.

How does one fail at size acceptance? That is an interesting premise. Where does the "fear" come in? I know some of these ladies are younger then me, being healthy, mid-sized and being able to dance the night away is a much different exsistence then life in a higher weight body. I suppose I *failed* in that I dared to disagree. Hey that's ok with me. Am I morally degraded for wanting to stay alive? LOL How about whoever else this could be meant for if not for me? How does one pass the size acceptance test, being the most jolly? Can someone fill me in on that one?

It’s the same old bull****. And the attempt to Trojan-horse fat-hate and body-shaming into HAES and FA/SA circles?

I'm getting the feeling that anyone who is over a certain body weight who wants to share their truth and reality, are not welcome in size acceptance but I sort of knew this years ago. They get very angry at anyone who threatens the core beliefs, like size acceptance is a cult, and you can't ask any questions. I should perhaps do a paper or some sort on how size acceptance is a manifestation of the human potential movement but skewed to another market. That may be of interest.

Ah, getting a few of them mad out there, is nothing new to me. Here is a secret for your fat delusionists, most fat people especially people hitting my sizes, know that size acceptance delusions aren't working for them either. We are cool with the "do not discriminate" aspects and calls for fat people to be treated like human beings, but the rest of your garbage about being happy at any weight and refusing any REAL cures and help even at the stratosphere weights is total nonsense.

I'm out there in the world, and talking to folks like myself all the time. I hope I am wrong, this was not meant for me, but you got to wonder why the anger? It's like you can't even have a two way talk whatsoever. Notice how the verbal beat down and censorship comes so quickly and so suddenly. Not one word allowed of dissent. I certainly couldn't even get a word in edgewise.

I noticed over on "The Truth is Radical" blog article, where my secondary comments got censored, Marilyn Wann and others made an appearance.

See this blog entry too...

"Thought Crime and Size Acceptance"

for context...

I found this comment very interesting...on "The Truth is Radical" article

I totally agree that fat is not a disease. It’s just … fat, and, like food, it’s neither good nor bad. It irritates me that so many people are looking for a cure. It’s like trying to find a cure for blonde hair. Completely pointless and seriously who wants everyone to be the same size anyway. How boring would that be.

To me the above rings so weird...

Has this person been near 700lbs and almost DIED?

Fat in it's extreme forms or even less extreme forms HURTS. I do not want people to be the same size, I do not think everyone should be a skinny minny but come on people it's called reality lets go look at a little bit of it. Here too the brush-offs continue.

Marilyn Wann then chimes in....[LOL wonder if she saw my link to this blog]

Marilyn Wann said,

August 1, 2011 at 7:29 pm

Brilliantly argued and supported! I also refuse to agree with any sort of weight horizon. I believe that defining anything in life based on weight is harmful, never helpful. Each one of us, living in our bodies, can seek our own best possible health and happiness in a weight-neutral manner. There are also no guarantees for any of us that we’ll be able to avoid pain or illness or injury or unhappiness. What sort of brittle, unhuman standard is it that would devalue people who experience the inevitable downsides of embodiment?

She refuses to agree with any weight horizon?

What about 800lbs and above? Yes there are people reaching those weights. I know about them from my visit at home doctors, and from own life experiences reaching out to other very overweight people. My health and happiness demands MORE answers then just go "move a little" and some vague nebulous "go eat healthy" which I already do to best of my ability, and so it does for other fat people. Of course Marilyn Wann would never consider anything regarding modern culture or what is being done to our food for even such heights of weight to become even more prevelant. I suppose her eyes would glaze over if I discussed endocrine disrupters. If I told her about the super-fat people my deceased friend knew in her nursing home--[she herself was more midized], who could not walk or had their skin break down, what would Marilyn Wann then have to say? Who is talking about anyone being devalued? Haven't I been devalued by these folks? Yes I have, by basically having my thoughts and opinions censored. Notice how they lump me in automatically with the other side. They are like political idealogues, that can't even imagine that another position beyond the other mainstream side can even exist.

If anything what I have written would give super fat people more value, in that their very lives would be honored as real help and answers would be found or demanded beyond the fat haters and the fat delusionists.

By the way, I do not plan on shutting up. I believe the way things are going there are many people getting fatter and sicker out there too. The delusionists can live in their fantasty world while some of us deal with reality. If people want to know what has held size acceptance back, as anything but just a "fringe" enterprise, there you have it.


  1. It's about a woman named Jess Weiner who the FA community is all abuzz about because she's an advocate who lost weight due to some (very borderline) "bad" results. Most are speaking overtly about her. You just happened to find one that didn't use her actual name.

    They're responding to an article in Glamour magazine:

  2. Thanks screaming fatgirl, thought they could be addressing me, but said I wasn't sure from the start, the comments about what happened on that blog with the comments by Marilyn Wann still stands. That article too is the typical, notice how she has great results almost instantaneously, notice how they present a member of the "worried well". The dieting and exercise automatically *works*... 99 is a high blood sugar? Since when? LOL, they definitely wouldn't put someone like me in that magazine.

    That said, she has the right to go do what she can. Why dog her over it?, I am know myself life at 230lbs is different from 20-70lbs higher. If anything considering what I have suffered, I almost want to go to everyone who has crossed the 250 mark and scream DON'T CROSS THE 300LB RUBICON, that is where the 'physical" suffering really starts, and the 400lb means your life is about to be over! I actually do not find myself offended by her at all except in that the same success will be expected of all fat people and that not all of us have the same degree of "body control" beyond that why get mad at her?

    My body is kind of frightening me lately frankly, I spent 4 days very sick, barely any food coming in, and a normal person would probably see weight drop off. Being allergic to dairy, potatoes, eggs, MSG, is making for a very limited diet, and well there's no results, and I spent some days being very busy and walking around for me.

  3. I am glad Big Liberty blog wasn't referring to me, glad I wrote I was not sure, but considering the health thing...

    So many people are suffering bad health...I have seen so many people get cancer and worse stuff even at very young ages, let me just say it's weird to be 500lbs and see someone thin and spry and who could do a LOT more then you for years, drop dead who is around the same age, and you are still going probably in my case, by God's grace.

    I know Glamour magazine probably used her to do a "hey you bad fatties, you are all going to die and it will be your fault" hit piece, but I do not blame her, if I was back in time, and was 250lbs again, Id be bashing down the doctor's doors and screaming for thyroid tests and why am I so fat and why so hairy and with brown spots all over me and WOULD KNOW, that gaining more could mean disability in the future. People I think who read my blog, I do not think realize how normal of a life I had for so long before I had the 400lb weight gain in 28 months. I wonder if that is why I seem so out there to the size acceptance crowd.

    If she can 'control" her body great, if eating healthy food and moving, did help her out, good for her.

    I am not seeing results, but I am suspecting my body is so far out to lunch, on everything, that it's probably a miracle I am still alive.

  4. Discovered your blog through a comment you left on Dead of Winter's blog. I am fat, about 300 lbs, completely healthy and active. I have been reading FA blogs the last few months (and have discussed somethings in my own blog) but am still having trouble trying to define for myself what FA actually is.
    If it's about treating all people with respect and looking after yourself by trying to eat right and exercise without being fixated on a number on the scales, great. But if it's about having health issues resultant from your weight and just ignoring it (and ignoring your health too) then I think that is irresponsible.
    I'm coming to the conclusion that you did some time ago - FA is for small fatties like me or smaller. Those of us that wear plus sized clothes and may get the odd dirty look but are otherwise healthy and happy. If your weight causes you actual harm then I don't think FA want to know as it provides too much evidence to support that fat can be bad for you.

  5. Hi welcome to the blog Eclectica...I am glad you are healthy and active. I am with the treating people with respect and standing against the fat hatred too, but I am glad you do understand the point I am making about those who have lost their health to obesity, or who are facing bad affects. You are right FA is for the small healthy functional fat people, and who may wear bigger clothes but otherwise live normal active lives. Yeah with me, being this fat and outspoken means I present facts they do not want to deal with. It's tough, even on that Dead of Winter blog, I am sure you wondered why they were so quick to censor me and just flat out erase my words, well that happens all over the place. They play the game of lumping me in with the fat haters which is not true, anyone looking at this blog can see I stand against that nonsense but they just do not want anyone speaking the truth about obesity in general. It's sad, it's like what are they so afraid of? Most of them will probably just stay large people who are happy and otherwise active folks for the rest of life, but a few younger ones could end up in the place I am today, it's sad how my POV is just hidden actually makes them lose credibility.

  6. You make a good point about people wanting to just lump you in with fat haters.

    That occurs in politics all the time: you're either 100% with us, or 100% against us, and that there could not possibly be a grey area, or a more evolved and enlightened perspective than theirs.

  7. Thanks Yerba, by the way I have appreciated your posts.

    Yeah it's all very political isn't it. That is part of the problem.