Monday, September 7, 2015
Pastor Shepherd or Wolf
Churches can be breeding grounds for narcissists. More and more, I have realized the helpful martyrship "church lady" masks can hide many severely damaging narcissists who use one's troubles and turmoils to drive the dagger in deep into someone's back. Don't just be careful of pastors but be careful of them too! The fake church ladies are just as dangerous. There are some who make a hobby of helping the downtrodden too but they just want to your broken down body to stand on.
I had one good pastor who was young and sincere in my small town church but obviously the me of today disagrees with some teachings regarding the church. We had one disagreement where I told him, many Christians are leaving the church system and the Bible seems to point to this fact but he said, every Christian should be in a good New Testament church. I said, "Well many people there isn't one good church in the entire county!" One thing that is worrisome about churches is charisma is what keeps the pews filled. And sadly it is mostly narcissists who have charisma in spades. The nice quiet thoughtful person, probably today gets weeded out in seminary or bible college for not doing an exciting enough sermon.
I visited a lot of churches in my present county and it always bugged me how churches revolved around the pastors. A few churches made a nod towards having a few deacons or elders, but most didn't. The pastor was the main personality keeping the show on the road. Maybe some would argue leadership is needed in every organization but isn't there a problem in the body of Christ where if the pastor leaves, the church folds? Why didn't the relationships among the congregation keep it going?
There are some pastors I ran into where oil oozed out of their skin and they came across as used car salesmen. They always wore shiny suits and had big white shiny teeth. While I saw it right off, a few of these guys had big churches full of thousands of people. That always weirded me out. One guy was so charismatic, at one church, that was a smaller church, that troubled me. Those people were all eager to please the man. When I stood next to him he seemed to shrink away, I felt like he wasn't happy about this big fat woman showing up to his church. He kept bragging about his "vacation' [cough] mission trip to Jaimaica that he took every year. Can you imagine having a Jamaican trip every year as a job perk? I left that church after only a few visits. The people were nice but the pastor was literally worshipped. He would make sex jokes during bible study and present this cookie cutter suburban world I did not relate to.
The big money guys who have jets, and mansions are some of the obvious deceivers but they have many smaller versions in the "making merchandise of you" set even in small towns.