Wednesday, February 24, 2016
Why Do People Do This?
You have a online friend, and you share many good moments together, you joke, you talk about personal things, you share art with them, they share poetry with you. You may share personal problems and other things, and then suddenly they get angry at you. They tell you that you are a great person and they love you. You hope it is true, you like them, they are interesting and smart. Was I loved bombed? Now I think so.
They have shared problems with you some even far worse then yours but suddenly yours are too much for them. You don't know what you did wrong. Suddenly they close you out. They do it slow and low, saying things like "lets take a break" and sticking to the weather. The freeze-out was immediate.
They do the polite dance steps. Along the way, you have noticed something is wrong with the stories they are telling you, something doesn't add up. The medical things and other things sound weird and don't make sense, why have they only show you a picture from 1988 and you showed them up to the minute photos on Facebook? You notice when you disagree with them they seem angry. You didn't mean to upset them but you know you can't denounce Jesus Christ to make someone happy and agree with them that the Bible is fake and full of errors. You told them you were a Christian on the first day, so that gets weird. It's not like you made your beliefs secret.
Something seems fishy. Internet relationships can be complicated. You aren't seeing the person in real life. Was I catfished I wondered? Well catfishes are usually romance types but I wonder if it can be done with fake platonic friendship. Why else did someone befriend me, get me to open up and bare my soul to them only for them to dump me once they emptied my brain out? Do some people enjoy playing games? Were some enemies trying to get the goods on me? What else is there to find out? I have an entire freaking blog, detailing the woes of my life. Am I paranoid for thoughts like this? Stranger things have happened to people online.
I know now while I have some good friendships online, one friendship is a few years old but I've seen dozens of pictures of her, and she is real, a few are over 12 years old in duration, and I had my good friend from years ago who I was friends with for 17 years who died. I have to be more cautious about who I meet online and who I bare my soul to. The person in question even told me they were a fellow Aspie. Well I went down that road before with one blogger I parted ways from.
This stuff hurts, it really does. My deceased online friend told me if you can find one person you can trust in this life time then you are more fortunate then many people. I know what she means now. Why are people like this? So fake? I would rather someone tell me to go to hell then give me the stupid freeze outs and fake crap. It hurts bad. I cry over all these people who couldn't give one crap about me. What gets me is the stuff I ignored. I knew something was wrong but I wanted things to be true. Well at least this time I only wasted 6 months instead of 4 years or 30 years like with the college friend. I broke it away first. She was freezing me doing the cold polite thing. I could feel it. My intuition is usually proven correct. I wanted to be wrong. I wasn't.
Sometimes a person feels unlovable with this crap. Like everyone hates them and they must be a bad person that everyone should hate. I am too sensitive. If not for my husband and good friends where would I be? I need to talk to a therapist. Dear Therapist why do people hate me? I have analyzed every bad fault. Ok I complained too much. My depression got the better of me. I sent cards, I tried to be a good friend. I wanted to know sincerely how they were doing. I did CARE. Okay does that mean I suck and should be vanquished to pariah hell forever? Maybe it's not me. Maybe some people just hate me out there just because they want to. Maybe they hate my personality, the spark of life. Maybe it's religious division the Bible warns about.
Sheesh this has been a very hard week.....
You all will see why with the next article too.