I wanted to share this one. I am having to psychologically break away from the Mrs. Fix-It's of the world. I got them healthwise but also psychological wise. Anything to fix "broken" me. If someone seems me now as being stuck in the land of "broken toys" and they want to be my savior, they can get out. Don't waste my time. I want real friends, not project ones. Disabled people of all sorts have to be careful of this.
This goes along with the health theme I wrote about yesterday, where the healthy are judged as having "done something wrong". Many people today believe if you eat perfectly or live a "perfect lifestyle" [they don't care if you can afford it or not] that you will be healthy and you will heal. For someone like me who has stayed alive for 19 years since being disabled, this stuff has added up. False promises galore.
Many severe stage Lipedema women suffer horribly because we have a disease that manifests itself as severe obesity and the world judges accordingly. We are told if we eat Paleo, or go to the gym for hours a day or if we "eat right", we will get a body like everyone else and it's a complete lie. The Lipedema world is not free from the diet saviors who come and lecture their CICO* daydreams at us.
"The truth is that we are the new smokers. Society thinks it’s okay to lecture us out of the blue. We not only deal with lipedema, but also with the ruling false assumption that body weight is all about calories in and calories out. It makes us automatically to blame for excess body fat, hence the mandatory guilt trip. It’s an unfair assessment which is unhelpful at best for those who are struggling to accept the way they look. By projecting their own (temporary?) excitement over a particular work out regime or diet they are much like a bull in a china shop, doing more damage than good. Maybe they mean well, but I will never be the one to drop 2-3 pounds a weeks, let alone several weeks in a row. Insisting they know a way around that is insulting. It implies I haven’t tried hard enough. And the saddest part? In their efforts to impose certain lifestyle choices I mostly recognize their own obsessions and frustrations regarding their body image being projected on me. Or a chance to shine with assumed moral superiority, which frankly is despicable.It’s not only annoying. Much of the advice I get is plain wrong for me and anything but medically sound. It’s unbelievable that people are able to think they’re qualified to give lifestyle advice to a chronic patient, regardless the condition, based on something they read in a glossy magazine or seen on a sponsored TV show. If our doctors did that, there would be consequences for sure!
The insensitivity when it comes to the fat is mind blowing. So many people with lipedema (or obesity) suffer from depression, low self-esteem, a negative self-image and/or eating disorders. Yet, we are confirmed in our feelings: they’re labelled ‘appropriate’ for our current state and are meant to encourage us into a healthier lifestyle. By sending the message the plus-sized are not worthy is plain cruel. Change is not always on the table. Sometimes because of an underlying medical condition, sometimes because someone simply isn’t ready to take on the challenge and sometimes – tada – because they’re happy just the way they are. "
She sums it up well. I wonder too about the toll on us psychologically where we are put under these moral judgments for years and years and found wanting. It does take a toll and it's not good for the health they all claim to care about either!
*CICO [Calories In Calories Out]