Sunday, April 23, 2017

Random Thoughts about BPD

  Ollie recently did a video on BPD. He calls them "monsters". Now, BPD is on a spectrum like NPD, so some are more malignant then others but since they are Cluster B, the damage to victims can be there. Ollie gets very passionate in this video, I understand why, BPDs can do a lot of harm. The way I personally feel about BPDs is that they are smiling at me while they are stabbing me in the back unlike Queen Spider and other narcissists who would not bother with smiles, and that same feeling of "invisibility" would happen in the room while they sucked up attention like a sponge. Some of his commenters were outraged and admitted they had BPD, and said their problems came out of fear and pain and not wanting to do anyone harm. The BPD issue can be a complex one. I got yelled at by some people diagnosed with BPD for being "unfair" about the disorder. Here I am talking about malignant BPD people too.

Aunt Confused with her multiple personalities definitely was on the malignant BPD wing of narcissism. She would actually refer to me as "her buddy". Yeah the buddy she couldn't be bothered to visit since 1997 as trips to the casino mattered far more. She was one of the worse flying monkeys too.

 BPDS used to fool me because they had smiles for me and some nice words unlike malignant narcissists but I noticed they ALWAYS betrayed me for narcissists, and their issues and problems were always first on the roster.

I had some BPD friends, and those friendships were always very short lived--for some reason I didn't get in as deep with them, I was less prey to them then regular NPD narcissists, probably because I was "boring" to them and didn't add to the narcissistic supply.  Some would use me for a counselor and then just dump me. They were usually the ones who vanished quite quickly in my life or I "felt scared" of them and I vanished first. I had one BPD friend who laughed about dating dangerous men and when she told me about almost getting raped in a parking lot, and letting men she met in the local county jail live with her, I ended that "friendship" of only a few months duration.  BPDs usually love a lot of chaos. Aspies are too dull for BPD people, I noticed most of them passed over me quick to go drink or gamble or to go kiss NPD butt.

I recently had an online friend change personality so much, that I thought an imposter had taken over. For me, this is a giant warning of a BPD or other dysfunction in the room. They run hot and cold. One day you're the best, and the next you're their arch-enemy and can't do anything right. To Queen Spider, I sucked 24-7 but BPDs would love me one day and hate me the next, in some ways that could be even more painful. I did learn I never could depend on malignant BPDs, that's for sure.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for this post and I read the other you linked on bpd. My mom is a narc and my sisters diagnosed with bpd. This helped me understand them a lot more. Especially the bizarre way my bpd sister, who was not the gc (I was) and was treated especially horribly by our mother growing is her lapdog. If mom's mad at me, she calls up yelling. If mom's trying to lure me back in, she starts showering me with love. My other bpd sister is not in my mom's pocket but she is just the same. They only contact me when they want something from me. I realized that a few years ago and come to see in retrospect they're manipulative as hell and love, loooove to shit on other people not as good as them. Which in some years, meant each bpd sister was calling me separately to tell me what a disgusting person the other one was. Lately I've been the worthless person so they're friends again!