Saturday, October 21, 2017

Being Assertive?

Yesterday I had a weird moment. I went to a movie at our local disability meeting place. The movies are good,, we watched a movie called Head of the Class, where a man with Tourette's became an award winning teacher. Sometimes I notice odd things.  The regular person was out so they had to set up the movie. I need closed captioning to watch a movie. My hearing is too poor even with the sound turned up. Of course, this was "new" to the people setting up the system. I told the person trying to set up the system, "Go to display settings, that is where closed captions are, I've had to do this multiple times on our cable system.". I asked nicely.

They ignored me. They kept working at it for 20 minutes. I said, "I know how to do it". I also felt on the spot because I was the "deaf" person necessitating the closed captions. I was ready to pound my fist on the table, but said, "Why aren't you listening to me? I can fix it!". Finally after 25 minutes of  trying to fix it, they finally relented and I got the closed captions up. The "display settings" had a direct closed caption box right on it. Sometimes this type of stuff annoys me. People think I am dumb or something from my outward appearance. Are they thinking, "That disabled woman would never know how to fix a computer/media system."

I am glad I spoke out because I would have had to leave if there was no closed captions on the movie. One thing is bugging me around here too, all the disabled people have left our disability group. Is anyone noticing? Did they notice this treatment and go poof? I'm trying to listen to my intuition. There's all these elderly women showing up who are all above 65 years old with no noticeable disabilities in the group. These are all upper middle class women too.  It's strange every time to do anything social here, even being this "old" myself everyone is 15-20 years older. I don't relate to wealthy elderly women. That seems to be the only people who live around here. Or else, people are staying home, because they don't feel listened to and they have given up. These types seem to just ignore you like you are invisible. Maybe that's why the disabled people are gone.

6 comments:

  1. I love that they thought they were so techy-smart and they couldn't do it, but you just did it, just like you told them to. That cracks me up. But it does seem disturbing that a disability group just has seniors in it and the visibly disabled are gone. Maybe your intuition is right and these aren't the greatest people to hang out with.

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    1. I wonder what they thought since I was right. I think they were a bit shocked? Yeah I am worried that all the disabled people have disappeared. The disability advocate is an autism parent, and I think we are getting the senior parents crowd as a result? She may relate to parents more then the disabled themselves? These are not disabled people living on social security, class wise they are very dressy, professionally dressed, I can tell they are well off women who had good jobs during their work lives. It's a nice monthly activity but I am bothered there's no fellow disabled people in the group. I'd invite some. I remember even telling the disability advocate she should go down to the senior building, where they have a variety of ages and invite people. Yeah something is wrong with this picture. It's hard to go anywhere here without meeting only seniors. I am almost a senior myself and it's strange. I seriously have visions of this town reducing in population by 70% when the next generation dies off. Yeah I may rethink the group or talk to someone about getting other disabled people back in.

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  2. A disability group without the disabled? There's a joke in there somewhere and it ain't funny! Oh lordy; another enclave of virtue signaling, out of touch pearl clutchers! And you were the "troublemaker" 'cause you had the temerity to know more than they did! That the lady in charge hasn't sought out people from the senior centre,as you suggested, is very telling. What's missing here is genuine caring,the original intent of service. If they literally "can't hear you" when you offer help,then it's doubtful they'll "let you" reform this mess from within. I'd love to see you at a poetry slam instead!

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    1. Yeah LOL no disabled. Before the advocacy person was disabled, it was a whole other vibe but she moved away. LOL pearl clutchers that's a good term. What is ironic is the movie we watched was against the pearl clutchers and "proper" of the world who close out the disabled. Oh no I think my brain hurts. LOL Yeah why didn't she ever seek people out from other places. Yes when I was being closed out, I was seeing disability/class etc prejudice in action. Sadly there's way too much of it here. I am asking myself where there are more how can I say this gently more "liberal" and "younger" places to go. I did go to an art auction that night at a liberal church invested in community service, the people there treat me pretty well, so that activity was fun. Yes poetry slams would be far better. :) I do have some ideas about how segments of the population are being closed out in affluent areas, and it's insidious. I mean if the disabled people don't even feel welcomed, at the disability group and it's wealthy above 60 parents [who never bring their disabled adult children--or mention them, and I've never seen them] something is very strange.

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  3. I know this is going to sound really crazy. BUT. those elderly middle class women have money. Sell them your art work or greeting cards. Yeah, I know it sounds annoying but is there ANY possibility that the Great Spirit sent them to be your best customers??? Just a thought. You're the BOMB . This blog is fabulous. Thank you.

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    1. LOL you have a point. They do have money. They may be more apt to buy the art. I may try for an art show again. :)Thanks for the compliments.

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