Monday, September 9, 2013

Another Leg Infection? Sigh

My leg got infected again.

I had one in April, the end of June and now early September. There was a year where I had none. I do not know if the stress from the family stuff is making me worse. I noticed I started feeling ill from my birthday, I was fighting off something. Even being reminded of my family seems to be bringing intense stress. The end of June is when I went no contact. No contact now means avoiding even opening manipulative, punishing mail and cards. That said, getting an infection every time one is stressed out, means something is very awry with one's body.

It was only 2 and half months since the last one. I can stay out of the hospital due to emergency antibiotics, but it scares me. It is petrifying.

How do I lose weight being active, I took acouple walks, if my leg is going to implode every time I get a little active? How am I going to have a life?

I am struggling with such severe exhaustion. I believe what ever lies behind the kidney stones, is causing a systemic problem. There is no reason for a controlled diabetic with an A1C of 6.3--that was last months to have literally HUNDREDS of kidney stones? I told my kidney doctor, why isn't anyone getting to the root cause? He is taking the [pseudo] Cushings seriously, it's on the medical reports but seems focused on just dealing with my giant kidney stone.

I am seeing a new endocrinologist Oct 1st, and I'm going to print out some essays from this blog.

This one will be among them.

Why hold back anymore? I feel so sick all the time. I am in pain, my muscles and bones even HURT. My infected leg is getting better so that only hurts a bit. I am sleeping 10-11 hours a day, there is a feeling of fatigue every minute behind me. Right now I could go crawl back in bed and sleep for more hours. I have to rest due to the infection. Trying to hold on to the few activities I can do feels like a battle. One knows at this advanced age how much life has passed them by.

One friend told me keep a diet journal, tell them what you do eat. Well I've tried that so many times. I am so tired, why do I have to go through this.

This body is a nightmare. I know years of this stuff, is affecting me. How do you get a rest from your own body? My husband is doing all the needed stuff but has to work too, can you imagine what it feels like seeing your apartment looking messy, and thinking "Oh I need to do that and that. I"ll get up here and do it", but normal people don't have to get the whip out on themselves to do some dishes or get things together.

And it goes way beyond BEING FAT.

There are other symptoms happening here.

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