Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Among the Acons
Among the ACONs
"I heard it put once that what they do to us is like declawing a defenseless cat and throwing it into a cat filled alley."
This sums things up well. I got to the gist of this with the Aspie in the Jungle article. Left unprepared, with no back up, thrown into the hard cold world. Survival was learned but came at a cost of my health and well-being. Even today I have to remind myself that kind people abound and will help me because of my past experiences. I was left clawless because everything I did to stand up for myself was taken away. I would start fighting back but it would take years. I was told always to submit and that I was WRONG all the time and to sublimate my own needs and that I didn't deserve anything. She told me I was WRONG to the very end. I was surrounded by blanks, that demanded everything and gave very little in return.
Most humans depend on kinfolk for protection on planet earth, for me the enemies were within the gate and the house, pit bulls ready to shred kitty-cat me into pieces. Narc mother's get out the claw clippers and go snip, snip, snip. "Your needs are unimportant, "You aren't really sick", "You are in the way". Any standing up for yourself is suppressed.
A deferential personality is formed desiring to people please and keep the Narc Queen happy to throw you a few crumbs or avoid abuse. Your whole position is a puppy bounding around to catch the crumbs that have fallen off the table. The worse thing done to ACONs is they never have the safe place or the family love needed to form self confidence in or those endless subtle social interactions that teach self-protection, self value or self-care. We go out into the world without these tools. Without claws. The key is to recover these things for ourselves. I know mine broke others, they didn't break me and for that I am glad.